


Waiting for Salvation

by Likhoradka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, angel!dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-22 22:51:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 101,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Likhoradka/pseuds/Likhoradka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season four divergence. Dean is a fallen angel, masquerading as a human, attempting to ruin God's plan. Everyone he's known has been fooled into believing the lie. Even the angel that rescued him from Hell has no idea until he slips up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Bits of dialogue are taken from episodes and used throughout this. This mostly follows the show with the exception of Dean being an angel.

His brother was so wonderful, so beautiful! He loved him with all his being and hung on to his every word. Wherever Lucifer went, Seraphiel followed without question. When Lucifer was cast from Heaven, Seraphiel followed, lost and uncertain.

Seraphiel had tried to follow Lucifer to Hell, but his brother pushed him out, kept him away with a legion of demons. When he tried to return to Heaven, the other angels punished him, marked him as a traitor by destroying his beautiful wings. Once white and shining with the light of the Morning Star, now they were stained red by his own blood. He could not understand. Why did his Father make him this way? He was so completely devoted to his brother. Of course he would support him. Were his fellow angels that blind? Was he the one at fault for being made like this? No matter how much he screamed and begged, his Father would not answer.

At first, he was angry and spiteful. He led the virtuous astray, trying to get a reaction from his Father. He started wars between peaceful peoples. He showed so many humans how to summon a crossroads demon, that the demons were overwhelmed and had to reorganize. But it was all for naught. His Father remained silent.

Seraphiel sulked for hundreds of years. Then he heard the whispers. Whispers of the apocalypse. Events were lining up. The right bloodlines were being brought together. Any generation now, two brothers would be born.

Mary Winchester's first born would have been Michael's true vessel, had there been no complications during childbirth. Seraphiel had been watching and seized his chance, taking the now empty vessel. He was demon enough to not need permission and close enough to Lucifer to hitch a ride on the bloodline with no ill-effect. In silence, Seraphiel slipped in and became Dean Winchester. John and Mary Winchester’s miracle baby.

Only in Heaven had he felt so much love. This human that became his mother gave him a new purpose. He was going to end the bloodline, ruin Michael and Lucifer's showdown. But now, he wanted nothing more than to make Mary happy. He became her perfect little boy. When Samuel was born, he promised to protect his little brother and keep him safe. Mary was taken aback by the ancient and solemn look in his eyes.

Then Azazel took Mary from him. And it was on that day that Dean Winchester knew he had to keep Sam on the right track.

As John Winchester learned more of the supernatural, Dean had to become more careful. He had to control the rate in which he healed. He had to sleep now. He used to get away with staying up all night reading, but now John would awaken at the slightest hint of a noise. But it didn't matter. He could adjust. He had a family. He had people to protect. He was happy.

John would go hunting on his own. Dean knew what he was hunting for. Information, leads, anything on the Yellow-Eyed Demon. How easy would it be for him to tell John everything he knew? But he couldn't. He was in it for the long haul. He had to be a good son, unlike before. Then Sam left.

He heard the rumors from some of his demon contacts. His Grace was far too contaminated for them to recognize him for what he truly was, and a few well-learned tricks over the years had ensured any new encounters saw him as human.

Azazel was going to make a move on Sam, damage and corrupt him, manipulate him into Lucifer's perfect vessel. It all centered on Sam's girlfriend. The date was coming up. How could he protect Sam? It would be suspicious if he suddenly popped up and killed off every demon on campus.

And then John found a lead. Dean called in a couple favors to get the lead to go further and keep John occupied but safe enough that he wouldn't have to worry too much. It was then that he went to his brother. If he could get Sam away long enough, if he could time it just right, then Sam would think the love of his life had died in a simple, accidental fire. No demons, just human error.

But he was too late. Or rather, too early. Maybe he should have tried saving Jess, instead of focusing on Sam. But Sam was with him now. He could keep an eye on Sam. Keep him on the right path. Make certain that he made the right choice in the end. It did not help that Sam was a constant reminder of the brother he once knew. Lucifer, brave and beautiful, so loving, and always questioning Father.

Things happened. Mistakes were made. Then Dean made a Deal. And he paid dearly. Alastair was so eager to get his hands on Seraphiel, the broken angel stuck in a human vessel. He had been forced to retain his human form in Hell, only his wings showing as a reminder of what he truly was. Not once did Alastair cut into Seraphiel's wings. Seraphiel wished he would. He wished his torturer would rip them clean out, remove the reminder of how far he'd fallen and how he could never make up for it. And then he broke. He'd already fallen so far. What was wrong with going a little further? He gave in and took up the knife. Torturing souls came easily. He had a natural talent, as Alastair was quick to point out. After the first few souls that looked at him in hope of being rescued by an angel, then in such anguish and betrayal when he started on their flesh, he couldn't take it. So, he took to hiding his wings.

He wasn't expecting it when it happened. A no account angel swooped in and grabbed him. Why was he being dragged from Hell? Would he face an even worse punishment? Had his Father finally had enough of him interfering with 'The Plan?' He struggled hard, but the lowly angel held tight.

And then he was back. In the body he had claimed. He was once again Dean Winchester. He was in a coffin. He was in a coffin, buried under six feet of dirt that made him wish he was back in Hell. He had to dig his way out. He was so exhausted from fighting against that stupid angel that he could not fly out. Then that pesky angel tried to speak to him, but with his Grace so corrupted from his recent stint in Hell, he could only hear through human ears.

He felt the angel leave. If he was back, and apparently not on God's immediate shit list, he should check on Sam. And he found him. With a demon. Sam was smart, but Sam was an idiot. Dean could see manipulation like that a mile away. He should know, he'd done it plenty in the beginning. He declared it as his teenaged rebellious years. According to humans, it was normal. His Father would surely forgive him for it.

He wanted things to go back to the way they were. Just hunt and kill and keep Sam out of trouble. But everyone else seemed so interested in knowing how and why Dean was suddenly back. He knew how he was back, but he couldn't say a single word of it. He had to act like he was interested, too. Stupid whiny angels and stupid stubborn psychics. Why couldn't anyone just leave well enough alone?

So why shouldn't he summon stupid Castiel? Sure, he had no way of killing him at that moment, but he could certainly hurt him. A little. Not very much. He just really needed to take his aggression out on someone, and the low ranking angel that marked him would do nicely.

And, like clockwork, Castiel showed with flashing lights and fully extended wings. Dean's breath caught at the sight. Castiel's wings had been singed and damaged from the journey to and from Hell. They were the color of the night sky and shimmered with hints of deep violet and green. They certainly seemed to be healing quite nicely.

Dean suddenly felt very self-conscious of his own tattered wings, so he kept them well hidden. How did a lowly soldier end up with such beautiful wings? It made him so angry and jealous. He lashed out the only way he could. He lashed out like a human. Bullets did nothing, but he didn't care. He wasn't thinking straight.

He said the first thing that came to mind. 'Who are you?'

'I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition,' was Castiel's almost smug answer.

It only made Dean angrier. 'Yeah? Thanks for that,' he replied as his hand tightened around the knife he had hidden behind his back. He stabbed Castiel, hoping at least a little pain would get through. Castiel didn't even blink, and Dean's heart sank. He was Seraphiel. He used to be the highest ranking of the Seraphim. He used to be beautiful and loved. He was no match for the low ranking soldier that stood before him.

He looked to Bobby, stricken and hoping Bobby wouldn't make any stupid moves. He was grateful that Castiel had a cooler head than he did. Bobby fell to the ground, unconscious.

'We need to talk, Dean,' said Castiel. 'Alone.'

Dean stared at him a good while before choosing to ignore him in favor of Bobby. Once he was certain of Bobby's wellbeing, he turned his attention on Castiel.

'Your friend's alive,' Castiel said.

It was as if he had no idea who Dean was. 'Who are you?' he asked.

'Castiel.'

Dean's irritation flared. 'I know who you are. I mean, why you? Why were you sent to drag my sorry ass outta Hell?'

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. 'I'm an angel of the Lord,' he replied.

Dean glared at him. 'Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes.' He really had no place to be criticizing Castiel, and he knew it. He had done far worse.

'I warned her not to spy on my true form,' Castiel said, almost defensively. 'I can be...overwhelming to humans. And so can my real voice, but you already knew that.'

Dean licked his lips. It appeared that Castiel really didn't know. How should he go about this? Play the dumb human? Boast of what he used to be? No, he had one question that needed answering, and he needed it now. 'Why? Why did you rescue me from Hell?'

'Good things do happen, Dean.'

Dean recalled all the events leading up to his present situation. 'Not in my experience,' he said bitterly.

'What's the matter?' asked Castiel, truly confused. He looked into Dean and saw the barest of thoughts below the surface. 'You don't think you deserve to be saved.'

Dean hated that he couldn't keep this lowly angel out of his head. Had he really become this powerless? 'Why'd you do it?'

'Because God commanded it,' replied Castiel. 'Because we have work for you.'

And then, Dean snapped.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean snapped. God _commanded_ it? _Work_ for him? In his anger, he lost what little control he had. His wings spread out behind him. It would have been impressive and intimidating, but his wingspan was now barely half of what it used to be. Feathers were out of place and whole sections were missing. What was once a graceful display of six wings was now a grotesque and angry, red mess.

'Oh, God _commanded_ it, did he?!' screamed Dean. He stepped forward as Castiel backed away. 'So tell me, did good ol' Dad say anything else? He obviously didn't tell you just whose ass you were dragging outta Hell.'

Castiel's eyes flicked from Dean's angry expression to the tattered wings. Surely his Father knew of this. He had heard the rumors of the Fallen angel that had tried to come back, but was beaten by his kin and shunned for his efforts. 'You are...Seraphiel?'

Dean let his wings return to a more relaxed position. He huffed in annoyance at his inability to keep them extended for long periods. Unfortunately, Castiel took it as a sign that Dean had calmed down.

Castiel approached Dean and let his hand rest near his mark—Castiel loathed to admit it, but he had a bad habit of signing his work, and he was quite proud of the job he did in restoring Dean's body.

Dean tensed under Castiel's touch. He could feel the purity of the younger angel touch his corrupted Grace.

'Seraphiel, brother, Father has chosen you,' said Castiel. 'If you do as He asks, you should be allowed to come home.'

Dean punched Castiel. It was more from the shock, than from the strength, that sent Castiel stumbling back. 'Don't you _ever_ touch me. And don't you ever call me by my name. Especially in front of Sam,' Dean said threateningly. 'If Father _really_ wants me to do what He wants, then He can come down here and ask me Himself.'

'You do not wish to return?' Castiel asked, confused.

Dean let out a frustrated growl. 'Of course I want to go back. But on _my_ terms! I don't want some nerdy middleman telling me what to do! _He_ can take me back. He can punish me all He wants, however He wants. He can destroy my existence, but it has to be Him,' explained Dean.  He searched Castiel's eyes and tried to use what little power he currently had to see if Castiel understood.

Castiel allowed the pleading tug for information in. He almost regretted it. Dean's Grace was a strange mix of angelic, demonic, and human essence. There was so much hatred and self-loathing, but also the potential for so much love. Perhaps Castiel could nurture this love and help Dean back on the path of righteousness. Then, suddenly, the connection was lost, and Dean's expression was of a furious anger.

'Just because it goes both ways, doesn't give you permission to look,' Dean all but growled. 'And for the record, you're little plan won't work.'

Dean turned from Castiel and stooped to retrieve Bobby. He paused and looked back at Castiel. 'You're not going to say anything, are you?' he asked, hoping he didn't sound as worried as he felt.

At Castiel's confused look, Dean elaborated. 'To them, my friends. To Sam. I really don't wanna have to explain why Sam's brother isn't his brother.'

'He'll find out eventually.'

'It doesn't have to be today.'

Castiel watched as Dean lifted Bobby off the floor. The care and tenderness he saw in Dean at that moment gave him hope for his lost brother. He really shouldn't, but he made up his mind. 'I won't tell. Anyone. Not even the other angels,' he said.

Dean let out a shaky breath. 'Don't expect me to return any favors.'

Castiel tilted his head, listening to something Dean could not hear. 'I'm needed elsewhere,' he said before vanishing.

Dean glared at the space Castiel had just vacated. He had a feeling things were only going to get worse if God had really recruited him for whatever job. He adjusted his hold on Bobby and started his way to the barn's entrance. He desperately needed some rest. Especially if he was going to try to eaves drop on Angel Radio.

.-.-.-.-.

Sam watched his brother pace back and forth. 'This is good news, right? I mean, angels are real. They're a lot nicer than anything we've dealt with so far.'

Dean stopped in his tracks and rounded on Sam. 'Angels are assholes. A whole mess of dicks lounging about in Heaven, taking orders, and absolutely no ability to think for themselves. And don't think for one _second_ that they give a shit about humans. That's what angels are, Sammy. Not. Nice.'

Sam flinched at the harshness in Dean's voice and posture. What could Castiel have said or done to make such an impression on Dean? 'Well, then... How about God? If they're taking orders from “on high,” then you must be pretty important for them to get you out of Hell.'

Dean rolled his eyes. 'Me. _I'm_ important to _God_. Right. So, why me?' he asked. 'I may have rescued a few people, and that probably makes up for smaller things like stealing and ditchin' chicks, but not everything.'

Sam let out a frustrated sigh. Dean was starting up on the whole 'I'm not worthy' track again. 'Look, you're obviously important to someone up there,' he said, 'so how about we not dwell on why _you_ , and we focus on the _reason_ for why you were brought back.'

Sam brought up a good point. Dean may not be able to figure out why he, specifically, was brought back, but at least they could figure out why. But it didn't stop him from wondering. Why him and not some other angel? Did they need someone more demonic and not as pure? He knew God just adored His human creations, so maybe He needed an angel that had grown to actually like humans? Was it because of his vessel?

Dean rubbed at his face in irritation. Maybe there was something written somewhere on angels. Maybe, by some stroke of luck, another hunter had stumbled across something. Things would be a lot easier if he could just carve a few sigils into the walls of Bobby's home, but how would he explain where he learned them? So, it was back to relying on humans and dumb luck. 'Fine. What do we know about angels,' he said in resignation.

Bobby dropped a pile of heavy tomes in the center of his desk. 'Start readin'.'

Dean glared at the pile, then at Sam. 'You're gonna get me some pie,' he said and grabbed the small booklet from the top.

.-.-.-.-.

The research was slow going, just like Dean thought it would be. Bobby made some calls, sounding more agitated with each passing minute. Dean flipped through the books, knowing already that he wouldn't find anything. His power was slowly returning, and he could feel something just wasn't right. It wasn't the angels, the energy fluctuations he was feeling were much darker and fresher, but he couldn't place what it was.

Bobby decided something was wrong and that they needed to check on this Olivia he'd been trying to get a hold of. The moment they entered the room and Dean saw the body, he knew what had happened. He was extremely glad when he saw the EMF meter sitting out. That would at least get them close to the right path.

As they checked on the other hunters, Dean knew it would only be a matter of time before they would run into their own Witnesses. What a time to be low on the mojo.

And sure enough, it happened. Dean felt it when Henrickson showed up. He was just in time to save Sam, and they quickly made their way to Bobby's.

He could feel the Witness that was after him beginning to manifest, so he sent Sam to search outside as he went upstairs. There, he encountered Meg. He was a little relieved. The spell was tied to Dean Winchester's body, not Seraphiel.

He let her rough him up, and the moment Meg grabbed him, Dean replaced the worried look on his face with a feral grin. 'Oh, Sweetheart, did you ever pick the wrong guy.' His hand shot out into Meg's chest and she let out a shocked scream. A wave of red and black energy pulsed from Dean's hand and Meg quickly deteriorated. Dean stood up as he inspected his hand with a satisfied smirk. 'Thanks for the recharge,' he said. This was probably the best thing that had happened to him since he got back from Hell. He felt great.

As he headed back to the stairs, he wondered if the spell would make Meg rematerialize or if he should just claim that he saw Henrickson. He decided to play it safe and stick with Henrickson. If Meg wanted to rejoin the party, then good for her.

Once reunited and hiding out in Bobby's panic room, Bobby finally figured out what they were up against. Dean knew there was a reason he liked Bobby. Bobby was a good hunter, and the only real problem Dean had with good hunters was that he had to be extra careful.

What Dean wasn't expecting was for Bobby to declare the Rising of the Witnesses as a sign of the Apocalypse. Then he remembered. It was one of the sixty-six seals. What was the first? What were the others? The seals were placed after he'd Fallen. Higher up demons would probably know. The angels would definitely know. He would have to remember to confront Castiel later.

Fortunately, Bobby's book had a spell for putting the Witnesses to rest. Unfortunately, that required leaving the panic room. As they left, they were confronted by Ronald. Well, it looked like Meg had a replacement.

Dean wouldn't admit it aloud, but he loved this. The energy in the air during a hunt was exquisite. When the door to the kitchen slid shut, he felt like Christmas had come early. Maybe he'd have a little fun with this one. Enjoy the look on its face when he stole its energy. It was going perfectly. Henrickson had stuck his hand in Dean's chest, but Sam showed up and ruined it. So of course he wasn't all right. He was just about suck in Henrickson when all he felt was void. He was looking forward to that extra boost.

It was back in the main room that Dean saw just how much more powerful the Witnesses were compared to the average ghost. Even Meg had come back. No wonder Dean felt almost completely up to speed. He thought the game might be up when Meg made eye contact with him, but didn't come closer. Through the confusion, he didn't feel when she appeared behind Bobby. He may or may not have extended a little of his power to keep the bowl from falling too quickly and tipping out.

Later that night, as he lay on the floor running through the events of that day and what they meant, he felt himself being drawn inward. Well, this was new. He'd never had company in his vessel's dreamscape. He stood and approached Castiel.

'Excellent job with the Witnesses,' said Castiel.

'Yeah, thanks for the help,' Dean replied, sarcastically. 'And the warning. Very nice.'

'You were not in need of my assistance, Ser—Dean. We had larger concerns.'

'Let me guess, other seals being broken,' said Dean.

'Yes. By Lilith,' said Castiel. 'Twenty other hunters are dead.'

'Figures. Pick victims the hunters couldn't save, so they would barrel right after us. Well, we put them back to rest.'

'It doesn't matter, the seal was broken.'

'I know. I can feel it,' said Dean, he paused, not wanting to admit his lack of knowledge. 'Look, I know there are sixty-six seals, but what are they to? What happens when they're all broken?'

Castiel looked at Dean, slightly impressed. 'You can feel it? How did you restore your power?'

Dean stiffened at the question. Stealing another entity's power wasn't exactly angelic. 'It doesn't matter. What happens when the seals are broken?'

Castiel frowned at Dean and tilted his head. 'You went after a Witness.'

'Hey, she started it,' Dean said defensively. 'It doesn't matter anymore. What's done is done. Now, what happens when the seals are broken?!'

Castiel looked away from Dean in disappointment. He wasn't certain if he should tell Dean. After all, Seraphiel Fell for Lucifer once. Who was to say he wouldn't run to Lilith and assist her in breaking the rest of the seals? But if that was the case, then why did his Father have Dean rescued? Perhaps it was a test of Seraphiel's loyalty, to see if he was worth saving. He wanted to trust Dean, he really did.

'Lucifer walks free,' Castiel replied.

'Lucifer,' repeated Dean.

Castiel felt a pang of apprehension at the note of longing in Dean's voice. Perhaps he shouldn't have said anything. It was too late now.

Dean closed his eyes and breathed deeply. What should he do? Help the Father that abandoned him? Help the family that beat and shunned him? Help the brother that ignored him and pushed him away?

'So that's why you're here. To stop Lucifer,' said Dean. 'Well, bang-up job so far. Stellar work with the Witnesses. That's nice.' He knew he was hitting low, but surely Heaven could have spared one measly angel to at least warn a handful of hunters.

'We tried,' Castiel replied tightly. He wondered if Seraphiel had always been like this. He couldn't ask any of his brothers or sisters for fear of arousing suspicion, and he'd promised Dean that he wouldn't tell the other angels of Seraphiel's presence. 'There are other battles, other seals,' he said, trying to reason with Dean. 'Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one, we lost.'

Dean let out an annoyed huff, and Castiel felt a flair of anger.

'Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of our brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around like they used to?' Castiel asked as he drew closer to Dean.

Dean allowed his wings to show and extended them slightly in a sign of warning. It came naturally to him. Back in Heaven, he would never let a lower angel speak to him like this. Back in Heaven, he had the power to back up his threats. He was certain he could out-fight Castiel, but without his blade, he wouldn't be able to do much lasting damage. And Castiel knew this.

Castiel wanted so desperately to save his fallen brother, but Seraphiel was so frustrating to even be around. Never before had Castiel felt what he could only describe as true and unfiltered emotion. It was wonderful and awful at the same time. None of the other angels made him feel this way. With just two visits, he was already addicted and didn't even know it. But right now, he was feeling frustrated and angry with Dean's stubbornness.

'You should show me some respect,' Castiel said, just a hint of warning in his voice. 'I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.'

And with that, Castiel was gone, and Dean was alone. He awoke to find Sam getting ready for the day. He wondered how he should break the news of Lucifer to Sam.

He sat up and rubbed his face.

'You all right?' Sam asked. 'What's wrong, Dean?'

Dean looked up at Sam. He made up his mind. He would help the brother that loved him. 'So, God and angels... How do you feel about the Devil?'


	3. Chapter 3

Dean feigned sleep as Sam dressed and snuck out of the motel room. The demonic taint that Sam carried was steadily growing. Dean needed to get Sam to stop drinking demon blood. Sure, it had its plus sides—controlling demons was always a nice perk. But how much longer until Sam was powerful enough to sense Dean's own demonic taint? He could probably play it off as being a remnant of his time spent in Hell. Could he possibly remove Ruby from the picture? Gank her sorry ass when Sam wasn't looking?

While he was lost in his thoughts, he didn't feel the angelic presence manifest beside him.

Castiel looked down at Dean's form. Dean's wings were haphazardly strewn behind him. An angel's wings were their pride and joy. How could Dean leave them in such a state? Amidst the tangle of red feathers, he caught sight of a lone, downy, shimmering white feather. It shone so brightly in the dark room and called to Castiel. It went against everything polite and proper, but he just had to touch it, to be certain it was real. He reached out and lightly grasped it between his fingers.

Dean felt a sharp pain in his right wing. It was in a familiar spot, so he didn't think too much of it, but his attention _was_ brought to the angel sitting behind him. He quickly rolled out of the bed, tripping and banging into the nightstand. He glared up at Castiel. 'You get your freak on by watching other people sleep?!'

Castiel sat in shock and slowly raised his hand. He still held the feather between his fingers. He hadn't meant to pull it out. He now held what was quite possibly the last physical evidence of what Seraphiel had been.

Dean's attention was drawn to the feather. He grimaced at it. He thought he'd managed to pluck every last white piece of fluff from his wings. He folded his wings self-consciously, and was surprised to find the pain in his right wing completely gone. The feather must have been at a bad angle, and sure enough, when he looked at the base of the feather, he saw it was bent several times over. He wasn't sure if he should thank Castiel or kick his ass. He settled on avoidance.

'So, what do you want?' he asked as he sat on the other bed.

'You know of Azazel and the demon's blood that flows through Samuel's veins?' Castiel asked as he stood.

Dean gave a stiff nod, not liking where the conversation could potentially lead.

He had followed Azazel around for a while. A demon making deals and not asking for a soul? It piqued his curiosity. When Azazel went after Mary Campbell, Seraphiel began to have his suspicions. Amidst all the random deals made, Mary Campbell just happened to be one of them? The sweetheart of John Winchester, Michael's claimed bloodline? Oh, yes, that didn't have Lucifer written all over it.

Ten years later, when Azazel came to collect his part of the deal, little Dean Winchester could do nothing. He'd forgotten about the deal, too absorbed in family life. As he held Sam in his arms, watching their home burn, he could feel the contamination of the demon blood in Sam. He could have ended it all right then and there. End the bloodline as he'd originally planned. It would have been easy to walk back into house.

But he couldn't. Whether it was from demons or angels, he had promised Mary he'd protect Sam.

'Then you know everything we do,' said Castiel. He lowered his gaze, and spun the feather he held between his fingers. 'We know _what_ Azazel did to Samuel. What we don't know is _why_ , what his end game is. He went to great lengths to cover that up.' He looked back up at Dean, who was carefully avoiding Castiel's eyes.

Dean couldn't watch Castiel. Castiel had no idea just how intimately he was behaving. Nevermind the lack of personal space, grooming another angel's wings, even if by accident, was just...not done. Then twirling one of Dean's feathers like that? Maybe he'd been around humans for too long, learning human sentiment. From his own experience, angels just didn't feel emotions or wants the same way humans did. Either Castiel was a genius at distraction, or he was just really that clueless. Dean was betting on the latter.

'Samuel is headed down a dangerous road, Dean. And we're not sure where it leads. So _you_ must stop it. Or _we_ will.' Castiel waited patiently for Dean to look at him, to acknowledge what he was saying. After a few minutes of silence, Castiel reached out with his Grace, hoping not to be shut out. He needed Dean to understand the urgency of the situation. He touched Dean's Grace as gently as possible, the softest of caresses he could manage.

Dean gasped when he felt Castiel's Grace. He'd never been so gently touched by another angel before. Lucifer's touches were always like a rough hug, Gabriel's were like a wink and an elbow nudge, and Raphael's were a brotherly punch to the arm. Why did _this_ angel have to be like this? Why did he have to be so soft and caring and attractive and just so—Dean was just so incredibly turned on. He immediately shut Castiel out, hoping Castiel hadn't felt _that_ particular urge. Not that he would understand it.

Castiel stared at Dean. He'd never felt anything like that before. And it was directed at _him_. He wanted to ask Dean what it was, but thought better of it. Dean looked very uncomfortable at the moment, and Castiel didn't want to make Dean feel worse. He looked at the feather in his hand then decided to tuck it in his pocket as a reminder. Of what, Dean's potential or the unnamed feeling, he wasn't certain.

Dean managed to keep his breathing and wings under control, barely. He dared to glance up at Castiel. The other angel seemed confused, but perfectly in control. Dean wasn't sure whether he wanted to punch him or kiss him. Maybe a little of both. He let out a rough sigh and ran a hand though his hair. 'Look, Cas, I should go find Sam, so uh...,' he paused and looked at the floor, clenching his fists in the bedding. 'Don't you have more important things to do?'

'Nothing is more important than you at this point in time, Dean,' Castiel replied.

Dean's head shot up, and he could feel his face burning crimson. Castiel had to be doing it on purpose. There was no way he could be _that_ clueless. But, Dean reminded himself, angels weren't human. Castiel was just speaking the truth. Dean was the most important thing on Castiel's checklist at this moment. He relaxed a little bit as his ego also deflated. 'Yeah, well, don't feel like you have to stick around,' he said.

Castiel watched in silence as Dean pulled on some shoes and grabbed a jacket. Dean paused at the door and looked back at Castiel. For a moment, it looked as if Dean had something to say, but quickly left instead. In Dean's absence, Castiel felt what he could only describe as loneliness. He felt alone. He wanted Dean around, wanted his attention. He wanted that indescribable feeling back. He wanted...he wanted Dean to... He wanted Dean. How he wanted Dean, he couldn't put his finger on it. He wondered if any of his brethren had felt this way before. He could ask them. He quickly disregarded the idea. The others already thought little of him, so he was probably better off being left to his own devices. He let out a weary sigh and flew off.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean found Sam quite easily. He watched as Sam forced the demon out of its victim. He had to look away as his thoughts drifted toward how Sam's gifts could be used. No, it was the easy way, and Sam's current path would only lead to ruin. And that smile that danced across Ruby's lips. Couldn't Sam see it for what it was? It wasn't a smile for Sam and his victory. It was for Ruby, for Lilith, for Azazel. It was for Lucifer. Dean would have to end this. But how could he convince Sam without giving himself away? He came out from his hiding spot and confronted Sam.

'So, anything you want to tell me, Sam?' He felt a pang of regret at his harsh tone. Sam looked so eager, so proud. And, yes, it was quite the accomplishment, but not what was needed. He already disliked Ruby, but he really hated her right now for making Sam so reliant on his powers.

'Dean, hold on, okay? Just let me ex—,' Sam started, but was quickly cut off.

'You gonna say “just let me explain”? You're gonna explain this?' Dean asked and shifted his attention to Ruby. 'Why don't you start with why the Hell Ruby's here.' Dean was so tangled in his thoughts, that he had slipped. Small, but enough to raise Ruby's suspicions, if not Sam's.

Ruby tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. 'So you recognize me. Nice trick, Dean. Where'd ya' learn it?' she asked as she took a step forward.

Dean held his head high. He could recover. 'How do you think I knew Sam was here? A little _bird_ told me. But I don't need them to recognize that squinty little grin of yours,' he said just before he jumped at her. He had her against the wall and pulled out the knife, ready to strike her dead. He could justify it to Sam later.

But Sam just had to interfere. Sam had his size going for him, and Dean had... Well, Dean had other ways. He moved just a little more quickly than he should have been able to and pushed Sam back. Just a little bit harder than he should have been able to. He rounded on Ruby, but she out-maneuvered him.

Dean was on the edge of showing her just who she was messing with when Sam called out, ordering her to stop. Ruby reluctantly let go of Dean. He managed to get his anger under control and wondered briefly what would have happened had Sam not intervened.

'Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?' said Dean, knowing it would rile up the demon.

Ruby looked like she was about to rip out Dean's throat, but Sam called her attention away.

'Ruby, he's hurt,' said Sam, looking to the once possessed man. 'Go.'

'Where the Hell do you think you're going?' Dean asked incredulously as Ruby brought the man's arm over her shoulder.

'The E.R., unless you wanna go another round first,' she replied.

Dean watched as she helped the man out of the building. He knew that poor sucker was just going to get possessed the moment they were out of sight. He didn't feel any pity for the random human, but he did feel anger towards Sam's refusal to see what was going on. He turned his disapproving gaze to Sam.

Sam looked helplessly at Dean. He didn't exactly feel sorry for what he had done. He was sorry he had gotten caught. 'Dean...,' he started.

Dean's mind was in turmoil. His thoughts drifted to Castiel's words. Stop it. He could stop it. End everything right then, right there. He had to get away before he did something he would regret. Not that that was anything new. It took all the control he had to walk out rather than fly. He heard Sam's pleading cry, but didn't spare him a glance for fear of what he might do. He made a promise. Protect Sam. Even if it was from himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little...well, it's here to push the story past this point, so very little dialogue. 'Metamorphosis' pretty much happens just as it did (and this chapter focuses on Dean's thoughts during that episode), same with 'Monster Movie.' 'Yellow Fever' didn't happen. If it did, then Dean just nipped it in the bud out of annoyance.

Dean was having a hard time being around Sam. He went for a walk to clear his head. He was frustrated with Sam. He couldn't really be angry with Ruby. She was a demon, it was in her very nature to behave as she was. Sam, on the other hand, was walking a thin line. Sam was a good hunter, he didn't need his powers to help people.

On his walk, Dean took down every demon and supernatural creature in a two mile radius. He didn't care if it attracted attention, he needed an outlet. He flaunted his wings as he took down a small group of demons, enjoying their anguished and confused screams.

As he admired the aftermath, he felt a sudden shock at what he'd done. He was turning back into what he had been. He was taking his aggression out on anything in his path with an unhealthy dose of schadenfreude. There had been no need for him to go after the unsuspecting creatures. No real purpose. For all he knew, none of them had ever harmed a human. He should probably leave Sam before he went after him as well.

When he returned to the motel, he snapped at Sam. He punched Sam, twice, but it felt like it wasn't enough. Sam just didn't get it. He truly believed he was helping people. That just exorcising a demon was good enough. Why couldn't he see that the knife or an angelic double tap to the head was the better option? Sure, the human vessel may die, but what was one human life compared to the many that would be saved? The lights flickered as Dean lashed out at the lamp.

When the phone rang, Dean tried to get his anger under control. He just wanted to leave. Leave the fighting and drama behind. Was this why he was brought back? To play the part of the older brother and get Sam back on the right path? Any of the other angels could easily take Sam out. Sam seemed so enamored with them from the beginning, why not just send them out to warn him against what he was doing? Why Dean?

On the car ride over to their next hunt, Dean decided to spin a little story. He was already slipping up with small things, how much longer until he let something big out? So he told Sam that Castiel had showed him the past. He made up a few scenarios, romanticized here and there. He was quite proud of himself. He thought it was a good story, and it would cover his ass if he mentioned anything about Azazel and demon blood. And then good old Sammy let it slip on his own.

Well, at least now everyone knew, and it was out in the open, but the tension was back. Dean wasn't good at the whole empathy thing, being brash when he should be more gentle. He hoped the hunt would help take their minds off the demon blood fiasco.

When they found Jack Montgomery, Dean was all for just blowing it off. From the looks of things, nothing was going on. Then Jack started eating the raw meat. Dean reached out and immediately knew what they were up against, and he had a pretty good idea of how Travis knew this guy was going to turn. Dean held the binoculars loosely and stared at the lit window. Why didn't Travis take care of this problem earlier? He suspected human sentiment and the need to believe that everything would be all right.

And after talking with Travis, Sam was showing that human sentiment and need, big time. Dean knew it was stemming from Sam's need to prove to Dean that he wasn't going to turn into monster. Maybe Sam was right and this Jack guy would have enough self-control to keep from eating human flesh. Seraphiel had met a couple Rugarus that had managed to overcome their hunger. One unfortunate incident ended with the Rugaru having to kill his own son. Too bad it was an undocumented story, Sam might have benefited from it.

It was during Sam's little blow up, that Dean saw himself in Sam. The demon blood, the curse that Sam would never be rid of, but desperately wanted to turn to something good.

All the horrid things Seraphiel had done... The demonic taint on his Grace caused by his actions. Seraphiel had chosen that path. Sam had no choice about the demon blood. Dean wanted Sam to come out clean, to stay on the right path, but he was having a hard time getting Sam to cooperate.

Ever since he had gotten back from Hell, he seemed to be off his game. He'd finally managed to fully recuperate, snagging a ghost here and there when no one was looking. But he was having a hard time reconnecting with Sam, and he blamed Ruby for it. He blamed himself for not being there when Sam needed him most. He also blamed himself for not even trying to get out of Hell.

Maybe he needed to take a different approach. He would let Sam steer things until they got too bad. So he let Sam go about the Jack ordeal his way. He was a little surprised when Sam spoke over him to give the 'or else' news.

All in all, Dean thought it went quite well. When he and Sam burst into the young woman's apartment, he thought that maybe Sam had been right. All Jack needed was some prior warning and a push in the right direction. And then they found Travis. Poor Travis, the stubborn old man.

Dean really should have been paying attention. The moment Sam was knocked unconscious, Dean sprang back up kicked Jack off of Sam.

'We did it his way, now we're gonna do it my way,' he said.

Jack looked up in shock and could see shadowed wings projected on the walls behind Dean. An innate fear crawled up his spine as he backed away. 'W-wait...'

'Sorry, Jacky-boy,' Dean replied as he advanced, 'you had your chance.' He reached down and sent a burst red and black energy into Jack's head.

Dean turned and picked up the makeshift flamethrower from next to Sam. No need to attract the attention of any other hunters Travis may have alerted. He pointed it at Jack's body and sighed as he set it on fire. Sam wasn't going to like this one bit.

When Sam regained consciousness, he found himself safe inside the Impala. He looked at Dean and saw the grim expression his brother wore. 'What happened?'

'I'm sorry, Sam,' Dean replied. 'You tried. But the guy was a monster and there was no going back.'

He thought about what he had just said and apologized. He was trying to win Sam over, not push him away. Sam just brushed him off and dismissed his attempts at explanation. The conversation was quickly drifting to an argument. Not quite what Dean had planned.

Then Sam mentioned how Dean couldn't understand. That the taint of the demon's blood wasn't in Dean like it was in him. That he had to deal with it.

Dean stared ahead at the road. He understood a lot better than Sam knew. There was a time when he had gotten so used to behaving like a common demon, that he actually enjoyed going after the unsuspecting and innocent humans. He understood having that corruption in his blood, in his core being, and having to fight against it. He would probably be one of the monsters they hunted if he hadn't gotten bored from his Father's lack of a response. He had no one to guide him back then, only his anger. At least he could try to be there for Sam. He swallowed and told Sam he didn't need to deal with it alone.

Sam looked at his reflection in the window. He didn't want to become what they hunted. He didn't want to lose his brother to this...this disease. He might be able to control his powers, but what would happen when he became too reliant on them?

As Sam voiced his thoughts on how his powers were like playing with fire and how he was done with it, Dean spared him a glance. He hoped Sam was speaking the truth, and not just saying it to please Dean. They needed a good, old fashioned hunt to take their minds off everything.

Dean's prayers were answered in the form of what had started as a vampire hunt. And ended with a completely whacked shifter. During Oktoberfest. Beer, big pretzels, pretty girls, and a hunt. Dean had enjoyed it immensely. It was a good experience all around. Sam was doing better, and there was less tension between them. All in all, a great hunt. Things were going well.

And then a witch had it in her head to summon Samhain.


	5. Chapter 5

Seraphiel knew Samhain, had even run around Europe causing a fair amount of damage with him. It was when Samhain killed Seraphiel's lovers, a set of ginger twins, that Seraphiel assisted the humans in exorcising Samhaim. And was immediately run out of town for his efforts.

Dean was having trouble locating the witch on his own. She must have been using a pretty powerful spell to evade his detection. Powerful and old school, if she was able to avoid angelic detection.

As they approached their motel room, Dean could feel angels in the area and started feeling tense. He relaxed a little when he felt that one of the visiting angels was Castiel. When Sam yelled out a demand, Dean rushed in to intervene. He didn't need Sam being painted in an even worse light than he already was.

He recognized Uriel by his wings. He kept his eyes on Uriel, remembering when he'd been banished. Uriel was one of the angels present that day. Dean kept his power and wings well hidden, feeling tremors of phantom pains. He hadn't expected to have this reaction. Anger and resentment, yes. But the underlying fear was never a part of his family reunion fantasies.

Sam offered his hand in greeting to Castiel, clearly impressed, and voiced his opinion.

Castiel looked down at Sam's hand. He wasn't quite certain what he was supposed to do. He quietly reached out to Dean in question, receiving a terse reply as Dean shut the door. He grasped Sam's hand and met Sam's eyes. 'And I, you,' he replied. 'Sam Winchester... The boy with the demon blood.'

Sam flinched a little at the remark, and Dean sent a glare to Castiel.

The angels were in town to prevent the seal associated with the raising of Samhain from breaking, but they couldn't locate the witch on their own. When Sam suggested working together, Uriel snapped at him.

Castiel introduced Uriel as a 'specialist.' Seraphiel had witnessed Uriel's work before, and he didn't feel that the devastation that would be left behind would be worth the cost of one seal. Human lives were one thing, but Uriel had a complete and total disregard for all life when it came to purification. The entire area would be void of flora and fauna for at least fifty years after the cleansing.

Dean couldn't believe his Father would send Uriel for the job. Surely, there was someone better? Someone with more discretion?

Sam tried to plead their case, claiming that they could locate the witch and kill her before Samhain was summoned. Sam tried to push his view on angels forward, still not quite believing Dean's description. Dean wished his brother didn't have to witness true angelic behavior first hand.

Dean scoffed as Castiel said they had no choice in the matter. Of course they had a choice. Angels weren't mindless tools. Unimaginative, yes, but not completely void of free will. Seraphiel questioned orders long before his Fall, and he knew he wasn't the only one.

As Castiel justified taking action against the town just because the order came from Heaven, Dean had to wonder what was going on. He noticed that Castiel was avoiding eye contact with Dean.

Dean cautiously reached out to Castiel, and Castiel swiftly locked eyes with Dean, effectively making Dean shrink back in an instant.

When Castiel questioned Dean's loyalty to his father—which one, he wasn't sure—Dean evaded the question. He rounded on Uriel, playing the one card he had. His Father had brought him back, so he had to be off limits for a killing spree.

He wasn't sure if it would work. After all, if Dean Winchester died, he could always be brought back. And maybe it would be worth it. Just to see the look on the angels' faces when they found out they brought back an empty, rotting corpse. And Seraphiel would laugh his head off at Heaven and its 'plan.' Dean quickly switched from his fantasy to reality and claimed that he could find the witch and kill her, stopping the summoning.

And as Castiel cut off Uriel and gave Dean and Sam the go ahead, Dean felt a climbing surge of uncertainty. Just where did this supposedly low ranking angel fall on the angelic food chain?

Without so much as a 'goodbye,' both angels vanished. With a quick look to each other, Sam and Dean headed back to the Impala in silence.

It broke Dean's heart to see Sam lose faith in what he believed to be true. He tried to let Sam know that not all angels were the same. He hoped finding the witch would help take Sam's mind off the matter.

He wasn't expecting them to find the children's bones locked away in the teacher's desk. Was this what humans felt like all the time? Completely uncertain of what was going on? Of what was real or who to trust? No wonder Sam was addicted to his powers.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Castiel's patience was wearing thin with Uriel. He used to have so much respect for any angel older than himself. They were older, wiser, more experienced...and very set in their ways. It was not spoken aloud, but nearly half, if not more, of the angels disliked their Father's youngest creations. Of the remaining half, the majority felt neutral. There were very few angels that actually liked humans.

He reminded Uriel that it was now up to Dean to take care of the seal, and was appalled at how Uriel was willing to brush it off. He hoped the threat of what would happen if Uriel went against their orders would be enough to keep him in line. Castiel sent a silent prayer to their Father for Dean to succeed.

.-.-.-.-.

They screwed the fuck up.

At least Seraphiel's cover wasn't blown. Thanks to Sam's quick thinking, Dean didn't need to go toe-to-toe with Samhain just yet. At the cemetery, Dean made quick work of the risen corpses. He was feeling more than a little high by the time he finished with the ghosts.

When he found Sam, he was more than impressed to see him holding off Samhain on his own. Then frightened for what Sam could potentially do to him. For the first time in his existence, Seraphiel feared a human. If it ever came down to it, was he angel enough to survive? Would he really be able to defend himself? Fight Sam to the death? As soon as the thoughts appeared, they vanished. Dean tried to cared, but he just couldn't do it right now. He hadn't felt like this since... Oh, probably when he gorged himself on those poor Titanic ghosts. 1219. No, 29... 1921. 12. Right. Was twelve a significant number?

.-.-.-.-.

Dean was still riding a good high when Castiel landed next to him.

Without even looking at Castiel, Dean spoke. 'Lemme guess... “I told you so.” Am I right?' He looked over at Castiel, a slightly uncaring smile gracing his lips, and poked at Castiel's Grace with his own. Castiel was just so sweet and innocent. Dean's pokes turned to soft caresses.

Castiel subconsciously licked his lips. He had wanted to have a serious conversation with Dean. Voice his doubts and concerns. But the look Dean was giving him, combined with the intimacy Dean was currently displaying, he was having trouble with it. And then there was that feeling again. That wanting urge that was slowly sifting from Dean. He cleared his throat. 'No, I—I'm not here to judge you, Dean,' he managed to say.

Dean wanted to shed his vessel and curl up to Castiel and drown. But since he was currently confined and sentimentally attached to his meat suit, he settled on hopping over to Castiel in the space of a blink and laying his head on Castiel's shoulder. 'That's nice. Judging people's not nice. But being here's nice,' said Dean. He allowed his wings out and lightly tucked his left wing under Castiel's right. Why did God have to make Cas just so damned comfy? 'So. Why _are_ you here?'

Castiel stared ahead, trying to ignore Dean's complete and insistent presence. 'Our orders—'

'Your orders suck,' Dean cut in, then let out a little giggle.

Castiel huffed and continued. 'Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain.'

'Well, at least you won't get fired,' Dean commented.

'They were to do whatever you told us to do.' Castiel felt Dean tense against him. Even Dean's Grace had ceased its gentle waves and was presently hovering just above his own.

Dean didn't know what to think. God had given the angels orders to follow _his_ orders? His Father, who did _nothing_ and let him Fall, was giving him command over an army again? Well, maybe not an army. Two angels. For a day. Five minutes. Was it a test? Was he being tested on his decisions? Did he make the right choice? What would he have done before the Fall? What would Jesus do? He swallowed then asked 'Why?'

'It was a test,' Castiel replied. He cautiously wrapped his wing around Dean in reassurance when he felt Dean start to pull away. He didn't want Dean to leave. He wanted him there. All of him, right there with him. He really shouldn't be so selfish. 'It was a test to see how you would perform under...battlefield conditions, you might say.'

Dean tried not to relax back into Castiel. Really, he tried. 'It was a witch. Not the Tet Offensive. ...I was there, y'know.'

Castiel let out a soft chuckle.

'So, I, uh...failed your test, huh?' Dean didn't wait for an answer before he continued. 'I don't care,' he said. 'If I had a second chance, I'd make the same call. I don't know exactly what's gonna happen when all the seals are broken. I don't know what Lucifer's gonna do. How he's gonna lash out. Hell, I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, this, here, all these kids, the birds, the trees...all of it, is still here because of my brother and me. And I'd rather stand by my human brother than by a bunch of _angels_ that hate my very being with a passion.'

Castiel sent out a soothing wave to Dean and calmed the prickles that were forming from Dean's darker thoughts. 'You misunderstand me, Dean. I'm not like you think. I was praying that you would choose to save the town. Yes, I prayed that you would succeed, but the town is more important,' Castiel explained.

Dean was not expecting that answer. He let his Grace go back to mingling with Castiel's. 'You were?' he asked, softly.

'These people,' Castiel explained, 'they're all our Father's creations. They're works of art.'

Dean nodded in agreement.

Dean was acting...off. He was being quite affectionate and calm, and Castiel liked it. It was much nicer than the brashness he had been receiving before. Castiel wrapped his Grace reassuringly around Dean in preparation for what he was about to say. 'And yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken, and we are one step closer to Hell on Earth for all Creation. You of all people should appreciate what that means.'

Castiel felt the waves of regret roll off Dean. While Dean was being so open, Castiel took the chance to sort through the individual elements flecked throughout Dean's Grace. On the surface was the shimmering energy of a multitude of ghosts. That explained Dean's behavior. Beneath, there was so much pain and suffering to sift through, but so much love and loyalty as well. He could differentiate the demonic taint of Seraphiel's actions from Dean's recent stay in Hell. He couldn't imagine what Seraphiel had done to corrupt his Grace in such a way. And there was that want. Directed straight at Castiel. As what Castiel assumed to be an attractive human female walked past, Dean's eyes followed, and Castiel felt a weaker version of the wanting feeling follow her. Oh. He wasn't certain what to do with this new information, so he turned to other matters.

'I'll tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul,' Castiel bargained. He felt he could trust Dean, that if any other angel could understand, it would be Seraphiel.

'Okay.'

'I'm not, uh...' He paused as he searched for the word Dean had used. '...A hammer, as you say. I have questions, I...I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, and whether you passed or failed here. But, in the coming months, you will have more decisions to make. I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don't.' He looked down at Dean, whose head still rested on his shoulder.

Dean let out a sigh. 'It's been a while,' he said. 'But...I've had to make the big decisions before. It's not exactly new to me. I'll deal.'


	6. Chapter 6

Dean stared at his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't believe how he had acted the previous day. Snuggling up against Castiel. Taking comfort from a stupid, young, attractive, stupid angel. And he wanted to do it again.

He jumped when Sam banged on the bathroom door. 'You all right in there?'

'Yeah, yeah,' he grumbled as he opened the door. 'All yours, Princess.'

Dean threw himself on one of the beds and stared at the ceiling. When he heard the shower start, he let out a weary sigh, closed his eyes, and tried to concentrate. The whispers came slowly at first. Then he was able to decipher them. The angels were scrambling to different seals. Handing out orders to guard the more easily broken, tracking demonic movements and odd omens... The occasional comment on the Winchester brothers and their current location would drift through. More whispers were coming through about Dean. He had been pulled out of Hell. He had been chosen. Dean would be key to saving everything. Dean was—

'Dean!'

Dean came back to reality with a start. He stared up at Sam, who had a worried look on his face. 'Sorry. Must've drifted off...,' he mumbled as he sat up. He rubbed a hand over his face. Things were not looking good. If the angels were gossiping about him, that meant more attention was being sent his way. He needed to be careful. He would have to keep his powers tightly under wrap for the foreseeable future. With the way things were going, it would only be a matter of time until the cat was out of the bag. He watched Sam pack up the rest of their belongings and hoped Sam wouldn't hate him when he did find out.

.-.-.-.-.

While investigating the wishing well, Dean could occasionally feel the presence of an angel. And it wasn't the same angel every time. They were taking turns watching Dean. It was beyond aggravating to know they were sitting there, doing nothing. Not bothering to lift a finger to help.

The same thing happened when Sam and Dean went after a ghost. The angels were just lingering on the edges. Watching. Doing nothing. Not even throwing a scant bit of information to the brothers. As they left the town, Dean could feel the angels' visits becoming less frequent. He had mixed feelings on the turn of events. It was good that he would be getting some privacy, but bad in that it could only mean something big was up.

.-.-.-.-.

And something big was up. In the form of Anna. At first, Dean thought she might be a prophet, that would explain why the demons wanted her. But then he met her. For a pretty prophet, she sure did feel...wrong. It was as if she was empty. Just a vacant body meandering around. Her very presence made him itch. He stuttered as he spoke to her, trying to shut out the internal alarms that kept screaming 'wrong-wrong-wrong!' Maybe they could dump her somewhere safe. Sam would be happy for her safety, and Dean would be rid of her presence. But they could use her. She seemed a little more aptly tuned to Angel Radio than he was at the moment. He could put up with a little discomfort for some insight.

Things were going well enough when Ruby reared her ugly head. Oh, and did he detect a bit of real fear in her voice? Whoever the other demon was, he must have been hot shit to have Ruby actually worried. And as the demon drew closer, Dean's stomach dropped.

Alastair threw Sam down the stairs, and Dean attacked with the knife, hoping he was making the right decision in trusting Ruby enough to not harm Anna. As Dean struggled with Alastair, he was pushed into a beam.

Alastair leaned in close and spoke softly, casually into Dean's ear. 'Hello, Seraphiel.' He leaned back and punched Dean. 'Did you miss me?' Another punch. 'I missed you.'

Sam came to Dean's rescue. With a quick glance between Alastair and the window, the brothers jumped out, Dean using his wings to slow their fall to something less damaging.

Even with Sam's story, Dean was very surprised to see Ruby. And he was angry at Anna for falling for Ruby's act as well. Was he surrounded by idiots? Demons were demons. The individual might have personal goals, but when it boiled down to it, they all worked for Lucifer and his schemes. Sam was alive because Lucifer needed him alive.

He had to bite back a harsh response when Anna mentioned contacting her parents, so he left it to Sam to break the news to her. In the middle of her breakdown, Dean felt the presence of angels coming closer, and Anna felt it, too.

Anna was ushered to the other room and the remaining three prepared for the worst. The door burst opened and in walked Castiel.

Castiel was shocked to see Dean. Why was he with Anna? Did Dean know who and what she was? He was here on orders, originally. But, now...now he could feel all new reasons to complete his mission rising to the surface. From the way Dean spoke, he didn't seem to know who she was, just that she had access to the angels' communications. Castiel tried to explain without giving everything away. He didn't need for Dean to side with the other fallen angel out of some form of sympathy. He didn't want Dean to become attached and closer to her. He wanted that attachment for himself. He looked away from Dean. His thoughts were becoming more selfish. He didn't want to kill Anna because of his orders or what she was. He wanted her dead so he could have Dean all to himself. He felt so ashamed in that moment of realization.

When Uriel attacked the demon, Castiel used the distraction to go after Anna. With a simple touch, Sam was unconscious and posed no further threat. He grabbed the door handle and felt a powerful banishing spell form.

Dean gritted his teeth as the spell pushed at his being. He looked for any crack in the spell to slip through and found one. With everything he had, he focused on every dark aspect of his being. Every evil thing he had done, all the demonic energy he had gained through his actions. He gasped as the spell ended and found himself coughing up a good deal of blood from the exertion.

When he saw the mirror Anna had written the sigils on, he wondered where she had learned it. She was tapped into what the angels were saying, not Enochian spells. Dean was beginning to worry. Maybe he should have just handed her over to the angels.

They decided to take her to Bobby's for safe keeping. With Anna hidden away in the panic room, Dean claimed to be in need of a nap. He secluded himself and tried to tap into the Angel Radio. Anna was right, it was silent. But there were still soft murmurs floating about. They were looking for Anna. And something else. The angels were being vague, obviously trying to avoid tipping off Anna. He was pulled back by Sam shouting for him.

Looking over Anna's psych file, and proceeding to get caught, Sam suggested finding out just what Anna had done. He figured Pamela would be able to use her power to help them find answers.

That was how Dean found himself on the doorstep of the psychic. Before he could knock, the door opened. 'Pamela!' he greeted.

'Dean.' She leaned against the door frame and tilted her head to the side. 'There's something different about you...,' she said as she raised a hand to Dean's cheek. 'No...you've always been...' She quickly took her hand back as if burned.

Dean swallowed nervously.

'You could have prevented this,' she said bitterly and removed her sunglasses, showing off her false eyes.

'He...he did warn you,' he weakly replied.

She let out a snort. 'Yeah...but I'm stubborn and won't back down from a challenge. I will say this though, I'm a lot better than I used to be. Being blind has opened my eyes.' She let a genuine smile grace her lips. 'Thank you.'

'For what?' Dean asked, confused.

'You're the first person to look at me and not be radiating pity. Oh! It's sickening,' she complained. 'Look, I know you're not sorry for what happened. You don't have to be. It's not your fault.'

'Uh, thanks. I guess...' Dean shifted uncomfortably.

'So, which angel are you? Anyone famous?'

Dean's breath caught in his throat. He hadn't spoken his own name aloud in so long. 'Ser—Seraphiel.'

'Leader of the seraphim... Nice.'

'Haven't been that for a long time,' he commented quietly. '...Don't—'

'It'll be our little secret.'

They stood in silence for a solid minute before Pamela spoke again.

'Did it hurt?'

'Huh?'

'When you fell from Heaven?' she asked in sweet tone.

Dean stared at her, his mouth open and a dumbfounded look on his face. 'W-what?'

Pamela chuckled at Dean's reaction. 'Oh, come on. Can you blame me? When else am I gonna a get a chance to use that line and mean it?'

Dean shook his head and laughed. 'Right. Very funny. Let's go, I'll explain on the way.'

Once in the Impala, Dean glanced sideways at Pamela. 'And for the record, yes.'

Pamela turned her face towards Dean. 'Pardon?'

'When I Fell. It hurt. A lot. But not in the way you're thinking,' he said and started the engine.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean held the door open for Pamela. On the way to Bobby's, he explained how they had found Anna, about her knowing the blood magic, about how wrong and empty she felt. As they reached the door to the basement, Pamela placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. When he looked at her questioningly, she put a finger to her lips and gave him a smirk. He let out a short laugh and shook his head.

It was hard to keep the smile off his face as Pamela messed with Sam. It made him feel a little better about the whole situation.

Everything was going fine. Even the burst of energy was fine. Dean could even deal with being thrown across the room. He could not, however, deal with Anna's declaration of being an angel. There was just no way she could be an angel. She had no Grace. There was nothing angelic about her. And Dean couldn't believe that their Father would truly want her dead. If anyone deserved His wrath, it was Dean.

As she told her story, Dean tried to figure out just who she was. Without her Grace, her powers were limited and her wings inaccessible. She claimed she Fell, becoming human. Dean had a hard time believing it. How did she become human? Why was _his_ Grace still intact? Was he the special one, or her?

'I ripped out my Grace,' she said.

Dean flinched. 'Come again?'

Anna went on to explain what her Grace was, not that Dean needed to know. He just couldn't imagine doing such a thing as ripping out his Grace. No matter what.

According to Ruby, Hell wanted Anna because she was an angel bound to flesh that they could question. If that was what they wanted, then why didn't they question Dean? He thought back to his time spent in Hell and could recall only ever seeing Alastair and a couple of his most trusted minions during his torture sessions. Did anyone else in Hell know?

Dean drove Pamela home while Sam and Ruby looked for a way to find Anna's Grace.

'I have to say, I was not expecting that,' Pamela said, breaking the tense silence.

'Tell me about it.' He gripped the steering wheel tighter.

'...You're jealous,' she said in revelation. ' _Why_?'

'Why not?!' he yelled. 'My... _Father_ gave the order to hunt her down! _Hell_ wants her for information! _I'm_ not good enough for either of them?!'

'Don't be jealous of her, Dean. She's scared. Everything she's done has been out of fear. You've been nothing but brave. Stupid, but brave,' she said, laying a hand on Dean's knee. 'She ripped out her Grace to avoid punishment, and now she's trying to get it back so she can defend herself. What did you do when you Fell?'

Dean pulled the car into Pamela's driveway. 'Trust me, Pam. You don't wanna know the things I've done.'

'I already know. What I'm getting at is that you didn't hide. I don't know what the future holds, Dean, but things would probably be easier if you went back to not hiding.' She exited the car and waited for Dean.

Dean sighed in irritation and got out to walk her to her door.

Pamela stepped in and turned back to face Dean. 'Can I make one request? In case we never see each other again.'

Dean bit his lip in thought. '...Sure.'

'Can I see your wings? I might not get another chance to see an angel's wings.'

'I don't...they're not...a good...example,' Dean said, lamely.

Pamela simply smiled sweetly at him and waited patiently.

Dean let out a frustrated growl and unfurled his wings, looking off to the side in embarrassment. He flinched as he heard Pamela gasp.

'Beautiful,' she said softly and reached up to cup Dean's cheek. 'Thank you, Seraphiel.' She leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips before leaving him alone and confused on the doorstep.

.-.-.-.-.

When Dean got back, he found Anna staring up at the night sky. He figured he would see if she knew anything about just why he was dragged out of Hell, but she didn't know. As they spoke, she admitted to not wanting to go back. She wanted out, and Dean wanted back in. He wondered if it was because she had no Grace. She didn't have to feel the longing he felt. The need to be back in his Father's presence, to feel His love.

When Anna said only four angels had seen God, he had to think for a moment. _He_ had seen his Father...Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Lucifer, Metatron, Azrael, all of the seraphim...many more than just four. He had assumed all of the angels, no matter their class nor rank, were granted an audience. They need only ask.

As Anna explained how things worked in Heaven, he began to have doubts. Nothing seemed right. You weren't killed for questioning when he was last in Heaven. What was going on?

Sam had located where Anna's Grace had landed. Her pure Grace had spawned a beautiful oak tree. Dean tried to imagine what his would create. Nothing good, he supposed.

When they reached ground zero, Dean could feel the trace of an angel's Grace, but nothing to indicate it was actually there. Not a good sign.

And now the angels were threatening to throw Dean back in Hell. He wanted to scream in frustration. What was going on up there?! Who was giving the orders? Why was Anna so set on thinking she deserved to be punished for disobeying? Yes, Lucifer disobeyed, but he also started a riot. He was gathering a small army of angels to eradicate their Father's newest creations. It went a little further than abandoning a post.

Seraphiel had stuck by Lucifer. Even when he didn't agree, he stuck by his older brother. And he paid for it. Banished, cut off, ignored. He suffered for his actions and was still suffering. When he spoke of deserving punishment, he hadn't meant punishment for torturing souls in Hell.

But that was what Anna assumed, and insisted it was not Dean's fault. What did she know? He wasn't exactly _forced_ to do it. He got sick of being tortured himself. And wasn't that the reason souls went to Hell? To be tortured?

As Anna stroked Dean's cheek, he began to feel alone again. There was one fleeting moment when he first found out she was an angel, that maybe there was another that could understand. But he was wrong. She had no idea what it was to Fall. Not the way _he_ had Fallen. To remember everything. To feel his Grace slowly corrupt. To be reminded every time he caught sight of his wings out of the corner of his eye.

And then she kissed him. It was nice, but Dean couldn't block out the emptiness she radiated. He gave her a stuttered apology and headed back to the others.

Ruby...was missing. Well, there was part one of Sam's grand plan.

Dean sat at the table across from Sam and watched him sleep. After a while, he started feeling tired. His body wanted him to sleep. It would seem that an angel was trying to get into his dreams. He let sleep take him, hoping that Castiel would make it quick. He felt a little bad that he was about to use Castiel. He could just tell Castiel the plan, but could Dean trust him?

What greeted him was not Castiel.

He was not in the mood to deal with Uriel. He jabbed at Uriel's pride, knowing the other angel didn't like taking orders from a younger, naive angel.

'Y'see, he has this weakness... He _likes_ you,' Uriel said in respose.

Dean was instantly reminded of cuddling up to Castiel. He shifted uncomfortably.

Uriel made his demands, showed off his trophy, and, with Anna's kiss still fresh in Dean's mind, assumed Dean had gotten 'a slice of angel pie.'

Dean rolled his eyes. He played along, wanting nothing more than for the conversation to stop. Uriel threatened, and Dean called his bluff. But then, Uriel threatened Sam. So Dean 'gave in' and told Uriel where he was hiding. When Uriel finally left and Dean awoke, he considered Pamela's words. Maybe it _was_ time he stopped hiding.

.-.-.-.-.

The barn doors flew open. Castiel and Uriel entered. Castiel felt a strange sensation in his vessel's stomach. He was unable to stop his wings from spreading slightly at the sight of Anna standing so close to Dean. He truly regretted Uriel having to use Sam as a way to get to Dean. He wanted to let Dean know that he was sorry it had come to such an underhanded tactic. He wanted Dean to understand. He wanted... He watched, fascinated, as Anna kissed Dean. He wanted to be in Anna's place. He looked away. He really shouldn't be thinking like that. He was an angel of the Lord, he wasn't capable of true emotion and wouldn't be able to properly appreciate receiving Dean's affections.

Castiel apologized for his orders, and Anna pointed out that he wasn't sorry. Dean closed his eyes and prepared to make what would rank high up on the list of stupid things he had done. If Anna thought Castiel wasn't truly sorry for having to obey orders, how would she feel about Dean's complete lack of regret for using her? He exhaled slowly.

'Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head.'

Dean spun around at the sound of Alastair's voice. Finally! He had never been so glad to see Alastair.  Just as planned, angel and demon fought. Dean caught sight of Castiel losing his fight to Alastair. He should just leave, Castiel would be able to take care of himself. Dean growled at himself as he lifted a two-by-four and hit Alastair upside the head, earning him Alastair's attention. He stood his ground as pain ripped through his being.

Dean hadn't noticed that Anna had managed to procure her Grace from Uriel. As she screamed for them to shut their eyes, Dean watched her change from and empty shell to a full-fledged angel. Unfamiliar wings formed, and her holy essence burned through her mortal body.

It was over, even if Uriel didn't want it to be. Castiel held Uriel back from attacking Dean, and Dean let out an exhausted sigh after the two angels left. He didn't know what to think. He was torn between being happy for Anna and wanting to scream. She got her Grace back, she would be able to go home. Dean, on the other hand, was stuck on Earth. Stuck on Earth and called upon for some holy mission no one wanted to tell him about.

With a quick good-bye to Ruby, Sam and Dean were back on the road. A few hunts had cropped up, vague and detailed messages alike were left on their voicemail. Dean needed the distraction.

Dean broke out the beers during a short break in driving. Anna had been a painful reminder of what he had lost and would never regain. In between beers, Dean chose to tell Sam about his time in Hell. If Sam could accept Dean for what he'd done in Hell, then maybe he stood a chance of being forgiven for his other crimes.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean left Sam at a motel just outside of a small town. Sam could tell his brother was dealing with a lot of stress at the moment. Whether it was Anna or Alastair that was the cause, he didn't know. So he didn't say a word when Dean said he'd be back later. It was already late, so he wasn't going to expect Dean back until morning.

Dean drove away from the town. Part of him wanted to just keep going. Leave everything behind. He pulled off to the side of the road and got out. Leaning against the Impala, he stared at the stars.

'What do you want, Cas?' Dean asked when Castiel appeared beside him.

'I thought you might like to know that Anna is...safe,' replied with some difficulty.

'Back home, living the good life? Good for her,' Dean spat out.

Castiel gave Dean a confused look. 'No... She has been...avoiding us.'

Dean finally looked at Castiel. 'So, not accepted back into the fold?'

'Not as such.'

'But she still gets to go back.'

'She will be punished when she does.'

'You're missing the point, Cas!' Dean shouted as he turned and took a step towards Castiel. ' _She_ gets to go back! _I_ don't!'

Castiel didn't know what to do. He reached out to Dean with his Grace. When he wasn't immediately rejected, he enveloped Dean completely.

Dean let out a whimper from the comforting gesture. He needed more. He closed the distance between them and pulled Castiel into a hug.

Castiel tensed then slowly brought his arms up and wrapped them around Dean. 'Have you tried to come back?'

Dean pulled back and gave Castiel a furious look. He extended his wings as far as he could, displaying every flaw for Castiel to see. He grabbed the lapels of Castiel's coat and brought him closer. 'Yeah, I wasn't exactly welcomed with open arms.'

Castiel couldn't take his eyes off of Dean's wings. Just behind Dean's shoulder he could see the stump of another wing peeking out. He felt so much sorrow for Seraphiel and everything he had been through. Castiel reached his hand up and gently stroked what was left of the wing. 'They shouldn't have done this to you,' he said, his voice laced with sadness.

Dean shivered and tightened his grip.

Castiel brought his gaze back to Dean's eyes. 'I am truly sorry for what happened to you,' he said, softly.

Dean was taken aback. With Castiel's Grace mingling with his own, he knew Castiel meant every word. When he felt a hand rest on his neck just beneath his jaw, he gave up on self-control and kissed Castiel.  He sucked and nipped at Castiel's lips.

Castiel didn't know what he was expecting. He rather liked what Dean was doing. The wonderful wanting urge that Dean emanated towards him was back. He let his eyes shut and tried to participate in the kiss, never having experienced such a thing. He had seen it done, seen full blown sex, but experiencing it was something else altogether. No wonder humans seemed addicted and kissed so much. When he opened his mouth slightly, he was surprised to find Dean's tongue teasing his own. So he brought his tongue forward against Dean's and tried to match the movements. His eyes flew open when he felt hands working on his belt. Dean must have felt his distress because everything suddenly stilled.

Dean pulled away slightly, breathing hard. He had managed to loosen Castiel's tie even more. Castiel's shirt was unbuttoned and untucked, and his belt was partially undone. Dean could see the growing erection straining against loose fabric. He looked at Castiel's face, tinted a rosy pink. What was he doing? Castiel's Grace was pulsating about him with what was clearly desire. Dean really wanted to fulfill that desire. But he couldn't. He couldn't do that to Castiel. Castiel was so pure and innocent, Dean couldn't bring himself to drag Castiel down and corrupt him.

'Dean?' Castiel frowned at Dean's silence. He reached out to touch Dean, but he was too late. Dean was gone. Castiel looked around the empty road and sighed to himself. He decided to wait for Dean to return. He had to come back.

He had forgotten his car.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean tripped as he landed. Thousands of years, and he still hadn't mastered flying with only two wings. He blamed it on their tatty appearance.

He had landed in the middle of a forest, far from civilization and away from any supernatural creatures. He kicked at a nearby tree before leaning against it. He wondered how long Castiel would wait before giving up.

He slid down the tree trunk and sat on the ground. He pulled his knees up and buried his face in his arms. Was this all part of a test? Was he even _being_ tested? Had Castiel been sent to tempt Dean? Did it even matter? He felt like he was so far gone that nothing he did would ever redeem him in his Father's eyes.

The night passed slowly, and when sunlight began peeking through the trees, Dean finally stood. He stretched and extended his wings. He risked a look and was dismayed at the mess behind him. He should really do something about them. Who was he kidding? Who was he trying to impress, anyway? Castiel? He blushed at the thought of primping his wings for Castiel. He shook the thought from his mind and took off in the direction of his car.

.-.-.-.-.

Castiel was leaning against the Impala, waiting patiently. Occasionally, a passing driver would ask if he needed assistance. He perked up when he felt Dean's return.  He stood and looked to the wooded area just off the side of the road. A loud crack resounded, followed by a pained shout.

'Son of a bitch!' Dean emerged from the woods, brushing leaves and twigs from his person. He froze in his ministrations and looked up at Castiel like a deer caught in headlights.

Castiel appeared directly in front of Dean. When Dean made no move to fly off again, Castiel reached up and plucked a small twig from Dean's hair. He kept his eyes trained on Dean's and slowly, carefully touched Dean's Grace. But he was quickly shut out and pushed away. He stumbled as he regained his balance.

'Just...stop it, all right?' Dean said, desperately.

'Stop what?' Castiel asked, clearly confused.

'This—everything! Stop being so...so nice! So...you.' Dean ran a hand through his hair and gave it a surprised look when he pulled out a leaf.

'This is how our Father made me. I do not know how else to be,' Castiel replied.

Dean shook his head and let the leaf fall. 'I can't do this, Cas.'

Castiel searched Dean's eyes, looking for any clues he might find. He was beginning to wish he had shown more interest in humans, learned their mannerisms. Humans were such physical and tonal creatures, and Seraphiel seemed to have completely adapted. Castiel was in over his head. 'I don't understand,' he admitted.

Dean let out a frustrated sigh. 'I can't...drag you down. You don't deserve that.'

Castiel tilted his head in question.

Dean tried to walk past Castiel, but Castiel grabbed his arm and spun Dean to face him. Dean held his breath in anticipation. He wanted whatever Castiel would be willing to give, but he prayed that Castiel would just let him go and move on.

Castiel held Dean in place, staring into his eyes. He tried to read what was there, comparing the look to every human reaction he could remember. He settled on hope and fear. Castiel brought his wings possessively around Dean and pressed their lips together. It held none of the passion from their first kiss, but sweet reassurance. When Castiel pulled back, he gave Dean a small smile, still an unfamiliar expression for him. 'I can take care of myself, Dean,' he said. 'And, if I Fall, I know you will catch me.'

Dean could have sworn his heart stopped. And he was not crying. Not at all. He buried his face in Castiel's neck and held on tightly. 'If they find out, they'll...it won't be good. Trust me,' he warned, his voice slightly muffled.

They stayed like that until Dean's phone rang. Dean jumped and pulled his phone out, reading Sam's name on the small screen. He cleared his throat and plastered a big smile on his face before answering. 'Sammy! Hey, I was just on my way.'

Castiel watched Dean give Sam an excuse for being out all night. He thought about Dean's warning. What would happen if and when the others did find out? He decided to keep his interactions with Dean a secret. Both for his sake and for Dean's.

Dean said his good-bye to Sam and turned to Castiel. 'So, uh... I gotta go get my brother,' he said. 'Will you be all right?'

'I will be fine. Thank you for your concern, Dean.'

Dean laughed at Castiel's statement. 'Yeah, yeah. God, I hope I was never like that,' he said, mostly to himself. 'Go on, get outta here.'

'Good-bye, Dean. I will return when I have time,' Castiel promised then flew off.

Dean got into the car and took a moment to collect his thoughts. Castiel was willing to Fall for him. The thought made him both ecstatic and sick to his stomach.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean found Sam waiting for him inside the small motel room. 'Ready to head out?' he asked, as nonchalantly as he could manage.

'Where were you?' Sam asked. 'I've been trying to call you for hours! And don't say your phone was off.'

'Um...' Dean couldn't come up with an excuse quick enough. 'I was abducted by an angel?' It was partially true.

Sam stood straighter. 'Oh. Was it Castiel?'

Dean nodded, not trusting his voice and hoping he wasn't blushing.

'Well, what did he want? Did he say anything about Anna?'

'Y-yeah. She's good. She's fine. Hiding out somewhere,' Dean replied.

Sam felt a little relieved to hear the news. 'Good. Bobby called,' he said, changing the subject.

'Got a hunt for us?' Dean asked, perking up. He desperately wanted to kill something. Kill something or fuck something. He wasn't exactly picky at the moment.

'Not really,' Sam replied, grabbing his duffel and tossing the other to Dean. 'One of the hunters that died during the Rising of the Witnesses...apparently, he left everything to Bobby. He wants us to help sift through everything.'

Dean sagged. 'Aw, c'mon!'

'Sorry, I already promised him we'd help,' Sam said a little too cheerfully for Dean's taste. 'Besides, I thought we could use a break from demons and hunting.'

.-.-.-.-.

After a long drive, they arrived at Bobby's. Upon stepping into the house, they were greeted with piles of boxes. Bobby was having a hard time getting even the boxes sorted, so many were filled to the brim with books, trinkets and smaller boxes. And none of them were marked.

Sam came up with their game plan, dividing the living room into subcategories. Soon, small piles were forming. Dean had taken it upon himself to place little signs above each pile. Demons, ghosts, vampires,  shifters... Sam gave Dean a look when he noticed the badly drawn stick figures next to each title.

'Hey, I'm a visual learner,' Dean said defensively.

Sam rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything as he returned to the box he was currently working on. He could tell Dean was bored out of his mind, but Bobby needed the help. And they had already found so many useful books! Little bits of knowledge to help them along in the future. Sam was hopeful that they would find something to help them with the apocalypse and the seals.

After about three more hours of sorting, Sam left for a food run.

Dean yelled out a reminder to get pie. He grumbled to himself about Sam forgetting pie the last time he made a food run. He flipped the pages of the book in his hands. Another one for the deity pile. He sighed as Bobby dropped another box next to him. 'What? No break?' he asked, looking up to give Bobby a pitiful pout.

'Don't think I haven't notice you slackin' off,' Bobby replied before returning to his desk.

Dean frowned. He wasn't slacking off. He couldn't help it if he could go through a book a lot more quickly than a human. He picked up a new book, a particularly heavy, leather-bound tome, and flipped through the pages more slowly. At least this one had a lot of pictures in it.

Sam returned with the food. Dean happily took the pie off his brother's hands, guarding it from potential thieves as he ate his cheeseburger. And then it was back to the sorting.

About an hour in, Sam let out a low whistle. 'Hope we never run into _this_ guy,' he said, slowly turning the pages of the book he held.

'What guy?' Dean asked, distractedly.

'Seraphiel.'

Dean's head shot up, eyes wide and staring at Sam. No. No-no-no-no-no.

'Huh. Never heard of 'im,' Bobby replied, not bothering to look up.

'Not surprising, really. He just...vanished around four or five hundred years ago.'

Four hundred thirty-eight years ago, Seraphiel gave up on getting his Father's attention. Dean remembered the day well. 'So, uh... Don't need to worry about him, right?'

'With the damn apocalypse goin' on?!' Bobby asked, incredulously. 'Everything's comin' outta the woodwork! For all we know, this Seraphiel's gonna be the next hunt.'

Dean certainly hoped not.

'Well, Sam? Does it say anything about any signs? Anything to give us a heads up in case we do run into him?' Bobby asked.

Sam flipped the pages back and forth, frowning. 'Um, I think he's an angel...'

'An angel,' Bobby repeated flatly.

'Yeah, fallen angel. But it looks like he has all his powers, unlike Anna. Oh, he always has green eyes.'

Dean paled. People paid attention to that sort of stuff? 'So, uh...interrogate everyone with green eyes?' he said jokingly, hoping his voice wasn't wavering as much as he thought it was.

Sam shook his head, eyes still glued to the book in his hands.

Bobby let out a snort. 'Sure, we'll start with you,' he said and went back to his book.

Dean couldn't make his voice work. His eyes darted between the two hunters, then he looked down at the box next to his feet. He busied himself with sorting the amulets.

'I don't get it,' Sam said after a while. 'Seraphiel's all over the place. One minute he's starting orgies at convents...'

Dean smiled to himself. Possessing that nun was a good memory. A fun memory. Spanking may have been involved.

'...And the next, he's ridding a town of a demon problem.'

'I thought you said he was a bad guy?' Bobby stood up and looked over Sam's shoulder.

'He started at least fifty wars between peaceful nations, and that's what he admitted to,' Sam replied. 'Burned down hundreds of churches—'

Dean frowned. The churches were empty. He never _personally_ killed an innocent. Then again, he could name hundreds of wicked leaders that never personally killed anyone. Lucifer never had the chance to do much damage. If Lucifer was simply locked away, what fate awaited Seraphiel?

'—started witch hunts where there weren't any witches, started the Spanish Inquisition...several holy wars... Seraphiel the Manipulator. He let humans kill each other off, introduced them to demons... Oh!'

'What?' Bobby and Dean spoke at the same time. Bobby in interest, Dean in trepidation.

'A possible sign that he's in an area. It says he's extremely territorial. Ghosts, demons, everything. Find a human settlement with no supernatural activity, and there's a good chance he's there or was there.'

Bobby thought for a moment. He had heard something about the supernatural population in a town suddenly dropping. 'Well, shit.'

'What's wrong?' Sam asked.

'Ellen called about a week ago. Said that some hunters going to Elm Creek, Nebraska ended up with nothin'. Vampires fled the town. Demons won't go near the place,' Bobby explained. 'No idea when it started.'

Dean bit his lip. He wasn't counting on having his breakdown come back to bite him in the ass.

Sam looked up at Bobby then to Dean. 'Elm Creek? We were just there,' he said. 'Do you think...do you think Seraphiel was there because of us? Could he be working with Lucifer?'

'No,' Dean replied without thinking. He shifted his gaze from the box of amulets to Sam. Should he just come right out and admit everything? If things got too heated, he could always just fly away. No, he couldn't do it. He couldn't lose Sam. Pamela may have been accepting, but she had a whole new outlook on life and hadn't known Dean all her life. Sam wouldn't take Dean's angelic side very well. 'I dunno. Maybe he _was_ there because of us. With all these angels running around, maybe he was in town for a family reunion.'

Sam quirked a brow. Dean was acting off about the whole thing. He had to know something, but Sam didn't want to push the issue.

'Maybe he went to Chevyland,' Dean suggested.

'I highly doubt that...' Sam remembered the museum. He remembered Dean fawning over the classic cars on display. He tried to imagine an angel doing the same thing.

'His loss,' Dean said and went back to sifting through the box.

Sam had to know if they were really dealing with Seraphiel. If they were, then Sam wanted to be prepared for the worst. Later that night, he called Ruby and met up with her just outside Bobby's property.

'Do you know anything about what happened in Elm Creek?' Sam asked when Ruby walked into view.

She stopped in her tracks and tensed up. 'I heard...something,' she admitted. 'There was a survivor.  A demon saw the massacre from a distance. He said it was an angel, but its...its wings were the color of blood. He was cruel, ruthless. Just tore into them, sealed them in their bodies, and made them beg for death. They're calling him the demon-angel.'

Sam tilted his head slightly. 'Wings? You can see their wings?' he asked.

'Yeah. An angel can see my real face, and I can see an angel's wings,' she explained. 'Look, Sam, don't go after him. Just stay away. Everything in that area died. Painfully. The town was evacuated.' She gave a nervous laugh. 'Everyone I've talked to is being real careful. Angels, we can feel comin' from a good distance. We can get away. But this...this thing, there was no warning. That survivor, he said it felt almost like a demon. I was lucky. It happened the day after Dean found out about you using your powers. I could have been killed!'

Sam let out a sigh. At least it didn't seem like Seraphiel was helping Lucifer's cause. He promised Ruby that he would be careful and avoid the demon-angel at all costs. He was worried. Dean definitely had to know something. Did Dean run into Seraphiel that day?

Sam and Ruby parted ways and Dean's eyes followed Sam's path back to the house. A survivor. He must be getting rusty. Dean closed his eyes and shook his head. No. He shouldn't be thinking like that. He flew back to the house, managing to knock over only one pile of books, and curled up in his spot on the floor. He listened as Sam quietly opened the door and entered the old house. Dean could feel Sam's eyes on his back. He hoped Sam would just let it go. He didn't want to deal with any questions Sam was bound to have in the morning.


	9. Chapter 9

Morning came and went. Sam kept trying to ask Dean about Seraphiel, but Dean kept finding excuses to leave. The piles of boxes were slowly being cleared out, and the room was beginning to look more organized. Unless it was a pile made by Dean. Sam sighed in frustration as he straightened another 'Dean pile.'

He thought he heard fluttering wings, but assumed Dean had returned from the basement and was flipping through another book.

'Hello, Sam.'

Sam spun around and came face to face with Castiel. 'C-Castiel... Um, hi.'

Castiel was looking around the room in curiosity.

'Uh...did you need something?' Sam asked, trying to get Castiel's attention.

'Your brother,' Castiel replied, still not looking at Sam.

'In the basement. He's helping Bobby put up some new sigils in the panic room.' Sam bit his lip at Castiel's lack of reaction. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the book from the previous night. 'Oh! Hey, just out of curiosity, what do you know about an angel named Seraphiel?' Sam was not expecting the intense stare his question had earned him.

'Why?' Castiel asked, his voice laced with suspicion and caution.

'Well, we came across a book with him in it, and uh...it looked like he'd been in a town around the same time as Dean and me,' Sam explained, not wanting to mention Ruby.

Castiel tilted his head in consideration. What should he tell Sam? How much could he say without earning Dean's ire? 'Seraphiel's actions need not concern you.'

'So it _was_ him. Do you know what he wants? Is he helping Lucifer?' Sam asked. 'How...how do we defend ourselves against him?'

'I believe Seraphiel would never harm you, Sam,' Castiel replied. '...Seraphiel is—'

'Cas!'

Castiel turned his head in Dean's direction. 'Hello, Dean. We need your help.'

Sam sagged in annoyance. And then he saw it. The way Castiel was looking at Dean. It was muted, but he had seen his brother receive that look from hundreds of women, and a number of men as well, over the years. Great. The angel had a crush on his older brother. This would not end well.

'Don't know if I really wanna give my help, y'know,' Dean replied.

'A seal is being threatened,' Castiel explained. 'And we have no way of stopping it.'

'Really? None at all,' Dean said sarcastically.

'Alastair has one reaper already. If he catches another, he will break the seal.'

'Still not getting the part where you can't stop him.'

'The demons are hiding in a building that has been warded against angels. We cannot enter it.'

Angel-proofed. Dean wondered if he would be able to get past the wards. If he could escape an angel banishment spell, then he should be able to slip through a few wards. Another reminder of how low he'd gone. He sighed and scratched his head. 'I dunno... Sammy?'

'What?! Of course we'll help! Just tell us where.'

'I can do better than tell you,' Castiel said as touched the brothers' shoulders.

Sam took a step back, looking around at the new room. 'How...?' He trailed off when he caught sight of Dean.

Dean was gripping Castiel's arm and shoulder, barely standing on his own. 'Don't you ever do that again,' he warned. 'Just... _say_ something next time.' If there was one thing Dean hated more than flying via airplane, it was being dragged along by another angel.

Castiel looked down at Dean and sent an apologetic wave along his Grace.

Dean grunted as he regained his footing, letting his hand linger on Castiel's arm longer than was needed.

Sam's mouth quirked in a confused smile. Was there something going on between his brother and Castiel? Dean told him about all his other conquests. Flaunted them, even. Was he keeping his thing with Castiel a secret? Maybe neither knew the other was interested. He hoped that wasn't the case. He didn't need a sexually frustrated Dean on his hands.

Dean looked up at Sam and saw the look he was receiving. 'What?'

Sam replied with a questioning look between Dean and Castiel.

'S-shut up!' Dean growled, feeling his cheeks burn.

Castiel looked from Dean to Sam. 'Is something wrong?' he asked.

'Everything's fine,' Dean replied without taking his eyes off Sam. When satisfied, he finally turned to Castiel. 'So, where are we?'

'Wyoming. The demons have the reaper in a building three miles from here,' Castiel replied, his full attention back on Dean. 'And one more thing... We need Alastair alive. Get him out of the building, and we'll take care of the rest.'

'What about weapons?' Sam asked. The look Dean gave him made him smile. It was the same look he got whenever airplanes were mentioned. 'Cas, can you take me back to Bobby's, so I can load up?'

'Of course,' Castiel said, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder.

Dean only had to wait five minutes before Sam and Castiel returned.

'Right. Let's go kill some demons,' Dean said, taking the knife from Sam.

 

.-.-.-.-.

The building was heavily warded. Dean felt a spike of unease as he and Sam approached the building. Every surface was covered with spells. Sam went to peek in through windows.

'How many?' Dean asked when Sam returned. He was having trouble feeling his way past the warding.

'At least four,' Sam said. 'Maybe we should have come up with a better plan. Or at least call in some back up.'

Dean grunted in reply. He tested his senses against another ward and slipped though. Seven demons. And one..two. Two reapers. 'Shit. There's no time!' Dean exclaimed as he started for the open door.

Sam gaped as his brother hurried away. 'Wait! Dean?!' By the time his legs started moving, Dean was already pushing at the door with some difficulty.

Dean gritted his teeth as the door burned him. He shifted his Grace and threw his darker energies forward, blasting through the spell placed on the door. He rushed inside, Sam hot on his heels, and went straight towards where he could feel the reapers being kept.

Dean made quick work of the demons that crossed his path.

Sam had never seen Dean be so...efficient. A demon rushed towards Dean, and Dean swiftly side-stepped, spun, and stabbed the demon in the neck, not losing pace. Sam knew Dean could fight, but he had never seen his brother fight _that_ well. He didn't even need to look at his opponent. By the time they reached the main room, Dean had taken out four demons. Something just wasn't right.

In the center of the room were the reapers, lying in the middle of a painted sigil. Sam raised his gun as Dean shouted at the two demons performing the spell.

Alastair ceased his chanting and looked directly at Dean. 'Will wonders never cease?' he said, giving Dean a sickly grin. 'You are just full of surprises!'

Dean glared at the demon. 'Alastair. I thought you got burned up.'

'Oh, the pediatrician did. His wife's still looking for him,' Alastair replied as his grin grew.

Dean growled and took a step forward, but quickly turned back when he heard Sam let out a pained grunt.

A third demon stood over Sam's unconscious body.

'It would seem you missed one,' Alastair pointed out in a helpful tone.

Dean slowly raised his eyes to the demon. 'I noticed.'

Before the demon could react, Dean was on him, pressing a hand to his head. The demon screamed in agony, and Dean quickly turned, throwing the knife and hitting the other lower demon between the eyes.

Alastair applauded. 'I do love to watch you work,' he admitted. He stood his ground when Dean appeared inches in front of him. 'You can't be that much of an angel if you managed to get in here. Join us. Help us free your brother. After all, he's the reason you're here.'

Sam grabbed his head and let out a soft groan as he slowly sat up. He blinked in confusion at the sight before him. Dean had Alastair by the throat and was punching him.

Alastair laughed as he flung Dean halfway across the room. 'Come on! You can do better than that!'

Dean had rolled when he hit the floor and was upright again. He extended his wings, casting their shadow behind him as the lights flickered.

Sam's stomach dropped. There was an angel riding his brother.

'So beautiful,' Alastair said softly. 'There's a reason I never touched them.'

Dean eyed the window behind Alastair. Biting his lip, he hid his wings. At Alastair's disappointed look, Dean charged at him, throwing them both through the window and into the back alley.

Sam stumbled as he got up and ran to the broken window. He stared as both Dean and Alastair stood up. He brought his gun up and aimed as Alastair gave him a brief glance and smiled.

'My dear Seraphiel,' Alastair said sweetly, 'Heaven will never take you back. And humans, they could never love you. I've seen your Grace, so beautiful, so many evil deeds. God will never forgive you. But, Lucifer loves you. He loves you so much.'

Sam's breath caught. Seraphiel. Seraphiel was in his brother! He had to save Dean.

Dean stood stock still, breathing heavily. Everything Alastair said was true. He would never be accepted back into Heaven. God would never forgive him. After spending time in Hell, he could see why his brother would push him away. He was protecting him from the darkness. From the torture and pain. He slowly looked up at Alastair, a lost look on his face.

Alastair held his arms out invitingly.

Dean jumped as lightning struck Alastair, leaving nothing in his place. Dean looked around desperately.

'Thank you, Dean,' Castiel said, just to the left of Dean.

Dean stared at Castiel. Doubts floated through his mind. Was Castiel's affection for him just a ploy to get him to cooperate? Did all the other angels know about them? Were they up there laughing at gullible Seraphiel? Poor, hopeless Seraphiel, so desperate for love. Send him something pretty and nice, he'll be sure to roll over.

'Hey! Seraphiel!'

Dean turned to find Sam pointing a shotgun straight at him. His world was collapsing around him. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

'Get out of my brother!' Sam said as he came closer.

'W-what...?' Then it came to him. Sam must have heard Alastair. 'No, Sam, it's not what you think!' he said, putting his hands up in front of him.

'Get out!!'

'Sam, please, just listen,' Dean pleaded.

Tears ran down Sam's face. Was this what it was like? To see a demon wearing someone you loved, acting just like them, but knowing it wasn't them? Dean wouldn't want Sam to let a demon nor angel run around in his body. So Sam closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

When he opened his eyes, the street was vacant except for him and Castiel.

Castiel gave Sam a sad look.

'Did you know?' Sam asked, shaking in anger.

'Yes.'

'Why didn't you tell me?!'

'Dean had me promise.'

Sam gestured to the spot Dean had vacated. 'That was _not_ Dean! _That_ was Seraphiel! And you _knew_!' Sam yelled, the betrayal in his voice evident.

'Sam...'

'No! Unless you know how to get a fallen angel out of a human, then I don't wanna hear it.'

Castiel looked down, avoiding Sam's glare. 'Unless it is willingly, then no. I don't,' he said, not certain if it was a lie or the truth.

Sam rubbed at his eyes in frustration. 'Fine. I'll see if I can find anything. Can you...can you find him?'

'D—Seraphiel is very good at evading detection,' Castiel explained. 'But I will do everything in my power to locate your brother.'

Sam sighed and looked at the night sky, feeling lost. He just got Dean back, only to lose him again. He felt a hand on his shoulder and was suddenly back in Bobby's living room.

Castiel frowned, not knowing what he should say, if anything. He gave up and left in silence.

Sam looked around the room. Everything was the same. He looked down at the pile he had been working on earlier. He leaned over and picked up a piece of paper. On it was Dean's scrawling handwriting, declaring the pile was for angels. Next to the title was a badly drawn dragon with six wings. Sam frowned at the image.


	10. Chapter 10

The weeks passed painfully slow for Sam. Nothing in his research was helpful. He found hundreds of ways to solve his problem had it been a demon. He had seen firsthand how to take care of an angel. But Seraphiel? Castiel had explained how Seraphiel was able to work past devil's traps and angelic seals. The spell Anna had used wouldn't work. Seraphiel was a mix of angel, demon, and human.

Sam thought about it and came to the conclusion that Seraphiel was the perfect weapon. Whichever side won his loyalty would have an edge. He could go _anywhere_.

But none of it mattered. There was no sign of Seraphiel. Castiel was showing up more frequently, each time a little more distressed. Sam didn't know if Castiel's worry was for Dean or for Seraphiel. Every time he confronted the angel, Castiel would give Sam a sad look and not answer.

Then one day, Castiel brought up some disturbing news.

'Someone is killing angels,' Castiel said as he sat on a chair.

'What?! How? Who's doing it? Is it...is it Seraphiel?'

Castiel refused to look at Sam. 'I don't know. Uriel is insisting a demon is behind the deaths. But...' He sighed as he shook his head. 'I do not believe that Seraphiel is the cause. He is capable of a great many things, but not the deaths of his brothers and sisters.'

'How can you be so sure?' Sam asked.

Castiel met Sam's eyes and replied 'Because I know him. I've felt his Grace.'

Sam looked away, thinking. 'I...I can ask Ruby if she knows anything,' he offered.

Castiel grimaced. 'You should stay away from her, Sam.'

'Do you have any better ideas?' Sam snapped.

'We have been interrogating Alastair, but...' Castiel trailed off and looked away. 'Part of the reason I'm here is to ask Dean to assist.'

Sam stared at Castiel. The angels wanted Dean to help them interrogate Alastair. Why would they—oh. 'You want him to torture Alastair!'

Castiel hung his head. 'No. _I_ do not want this. These are my orders.'

' _God_ wants Dean to torture a demon for information?' Sam asked, disbelief heavy in his voice.

Castiel didn't answer. He didn't want to believe that his Father would want this. That his Father would let Seraphiel dirty his Grace further with torture. But...the orders...they made no mention of Seraphiel so far. Just Dean Winchester. Nothing about the fallen angel. There were no rumors about Seraphiel. Surely, _someone_ besides himself knew? God knew where all His children were...so He had to know that Dean Winchester and Seraphiel were one and the same. If that was the case, then who was giving the orders?

Castiel suddenly stood, making Sam jump. 'I must go,' he said and left with a soft flutter.

Sam ran his hand through his hair, looking around the room. He decided to speak with Ruby before heading to the local library. The books he had requested had come in, and he hoped they might hold some sliver of information.

.-.-.-.-.

Sam returned from the library, still feeling a deep touch of disappointment from meeting with Ruby. She didn't know anything about demons killing angels. He didn't want to tell her about Dean, fearing that she might push the demon blood subject even harder now that Dean wasn't there to bully her away.

He placed the bag of library books on Bobby's desk as Bobby offered him a beer. Sam gratefully took the bottle as he sorted through the books. Near the bottom of the bag was a worn paperback. He pulled it out and raised his brow at the cover. _Supernatural_. The cover made it look like some sort of homoerotic thriller. He turned it over and read the back, wondering how it ended up on his list.

_'Along a lonely California highway, a mysterious Woman in White lures men to their deaths...a terrifying phenomenon that may be Sam and Dean's first clue to their father's whereabouts.'_

Sam reread the text several times. He opened the book at random and began reading. Everything written had happened just as he remembered it. For a brief moment, Sam completely forgot all his other problems.

Some quick research revealed there were more of the _Supernatural_ books, much to Sam's dismay. He needed to find this Carver Edlund. Unfortunately, it was just a pen name, so he went to the publisher.

Convincing the publisher that Sam was a fan of the _Supernatural_ series was nowhere near as difficult as convincing the writer that he really was Sam Winchester.

Chuck Shurley wanted nothing to do with Sam. Sam was obviously a crazy fan. A crazy fan who happened to look exactly how he envisioned Sam, just happened to know Sam and Dean's surname, and knew about Seraphiel. He had never even _hinted_ at Seraphiel's existence in his books. He didn't say anything as he reluctantly let Sam into his home. He was deeply regretting writing himself into his own story. Maybe, maybe the angel wouldn't show up.

Just as the thought passed through his mind, he heard the fluttering of wings. He cringed and made a beeline for his fridge. He was much too sober for this.

Castiel appeared behind Sam. 'Sa—!' he stopped mid-word and stared at Chuck.

Chuck had just returned with a bottle of Jägermeister in his hand. He miserably returned Castiel's stare. 'So it's true then. I'm a prophet.'

'W-wait. A prophet?!' Sam looked between Chuck and Castiel. 'Cas, did you know?'

Castiel ignored Sam's question and approached Chuck. 'It is an honor to meet you.'

Chuck gave Castiel a dismissive nod and hurried to his recliner.

'What's going on?' Sam asked the room in general.

'I went Vonnegut on my latest book,' Chuck replied. 'I never should have written myself in. And as a prophet?! What was I thinking? That's..that's M. Night levels of doucheyness.'

Castiel looked up from the book he was reading. 'Changing the words you write would have no effect,' he explained. 'Luke tried.'

Chuck glared at Castiel. 'You're more annoying in person,' he said testily.

Castiel frowned and picked up another book to look through.

'Okay, so you're a prophet,' Sam said, focusing on Chuck. 'You know everything about Dean and me. Do you know where he is right now?'

Chuck opened the bottle and looked up at Sam. '...Yeah.' At Sam's relieved expression, he continued. 'But...look, I don't know how to say this...' He got up and went over to his desk. He sifted through the piles of paper then pulled out a set that had been paper clipped together. He handed them to Sam. 'You're not gonna like this,' he said as he went back to his chair and took a deep swig of his drink.

Sam's brows furrowed in confusion. He glanced at the first page and recognized it as the night Seraphiel had disappeared with Dean's body. He read through it several times, shaking more with each read through. Sam dropped the papers and ran his hands down his face, trying to calm down. He angrily knocked a pile of books to the floor. 'How long? How long has Seraphiel been inside Dean?' Sam asked, voice tight.

Chuck took another sip before answering. 'The soul that would have been Dean Winchester was born in the next available body,' he explained. 'Seraphiel took over the, uh...corpse at birth.'

Sam stared speechlessly at Chuck. He wasn't expecting that. 'He's...'

'Seraphiel has always been Dean,' Castiel said. 'He has always been your brother.'

Sam's legs gave out and he collapsed against the wall for support. 'But...Dean's always...he's always been there for me. He went to _Hell_ for me. This whole time...' He looked down and let out a bitter laugh. 'And _I_ shot him.'

A bottle entered Sam's field of vision. He looked up at Chuck's sympathetic face.

'Looks like you could use this more than me,' Chuck offered.

Sam looked back at the bottle. He took it from Chuck's grasp and swallowed a mouthful, making a face at the bitter burn. 'Where is he?' he asked.

'Uh...that crystal cave place?' Chuck replied uncertainly. 'It's in Mexico,' his finished lamely.

Sam and Chuck turned their heads at the sound of wings, only to find the room empty.

'He'll be back soon,' Chuck said, slightly uncomfortable as he headed back to his chair. 'I think I should tell you...Dean knows.'

Sam gave Chuck a confused stare.

'About the blood drinking thing,' Chuck elaborated. 'He hasn't said anything about it to anyone.'

Sam didn't know what to think. Seraphiel, Dean...whoever he was, hadn't said anything. Hadn't told the angels. Hadn't even confronted Sam about it. He was keeping Sam's secrets without ever being asked. He should be mad at Dean for keeping this from him, but he was keeping secrets as well. Maybe if he'd been more open and honest with Dean, Dean would have been more open with him as well.

.-.-.-.-.

Castiel landed in Cueva de los Cristales and reached out with his Grace. After some wandering through the sweltering heat, he finally caught a slight tingle. The oversized crystals were throwing his senses through loops. He followed the tingling sensation and finally caught a glimpse of Dean curled up in a corner staring lifelessly ahead, his wings wrapped tightly around himself. Dean didn't make any movement as Castiel approached.

Castiel stood in front of Dean, staring down at the broken angel. He reached out to Dean's Grace. He felt such sorrow and self-hatred there. It was so overwhelming that he gasped as he pulled away.

'It's true, isn't it?' Dean asked, still unmoving.

'Is what true?' Castiel asked. He wanted to comfort Dean, but he didn't think he could stand to mix with the sorrow again. So he sat next to Dean and hoped physical comfort would be enough. He wrapped an arm around Dean's shoulders as he had seen humans do.

Dean leaned into Castiel. 'I started the apocalypse. I broke the first seal.'

'Yes,' Castiel replied. 'When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to Hell, and we fought our way to get to you before you—'

'Jump-started the apocalypse,' Dean interrupted.

'But we were too late.'

'A technicality. I started the apocalypse on a _technicality_ ,' Dean said bitterly. 'When a righteous man spills blood in Hell, or something like that? I'm not a man. I'm not righteous.'

'Dean Winchester is,' Castiel pointed out.

'Yeah. I saw the contract. I was bound to this body for my stint in Hell. Never really questioned why until now,' Dean said. 'So why save me? Why not let me rot down there?'

'It's not blame that falls on you, Dean. It's Fate,' Castiel said. '“And the Righteous Man who begins it is the only one who can finish it.” _You_ have to stop it.'

'Lucifer?' Dean questioned shakily. 'The _apocalypse_? I can't do it, Cas. Face it, you're all screwed.'

'Our Father chose you for a reason.'

'Yeah. Right,' Dean bit out. 'All part of the stupid, fucking _plan_ , I'm sure.'

' _I_ believe in you, Seraphiel.'

Dean stiffened at his name.

'Please come back with me.' Castiel placed his free hand on Dean's thigh.

Dean shied away from Castiel, but was still being held tightly.

'Sam is worried. He knows who you are now, and he regrets his actions,' Castiel said.

Dean sighed. 'I don't know, Cas... I just...don't know anymore. I don't think I can do this.'

'If not to stop Lucifer and the apocalypse, then do it for Sam,' Castiel said. He wanted to say more, to show his selfishness, but he shouldn't. But, it was probably what Dean needed right then. 'W-will you do it for me?' he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Dean twisted in Castiel's hold and stared at him. Castiel was looking straight ahead, a slight look of apprehension on his face. 'O-of course,' Dean softly replied.

Castiel turned to face Dean. He slowly brought his hand up and lifted Dean's chin in an imitated movement. He leaned in and softly kissed Dean.

Dean let out a soft moan. Oh, how he wanted this. Needed this. He grabbed at Castiel and deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue out and teasing at Castiel's lips. He pulled back and groaned loudly when he felt a hand caress his wings. 'Fuck, Cas...,' he panted. He let out another moan when Castiel gripped the base of his wing.

Castiel gasped as Dean tore open his shirt and began kissing his chest and sucking on his nipples. He had never felt anything like this. It was better than their first kiss. It was so...physical, so taboo.  He risked touching Dean's Grace again. The sadness was still there, but it was drowned out by love and passion. He cried out as Dean thrust a hand into his feathers.

Dean positioned them so that Castiel was lying down and he straddled Castiel's hips. He sucked at Castiel's neck and whispered into his ear, 'Don't stop, Cas. Don't let go.'

Castiel bared his neck, allowing Dean better access. He had both hands entwined with Dean's wings, gripping tightly. Something was building up between them. The world had dropped away and all he could feel was Dean stroking his wings and grinding their hips together. 'D-Dean...I...' His whole being was tingling and suddenly, he felt a release. 'Seraphiel!!' he screamed as he came, gripping tightly at Dean.

It was just enough to push Dean over the edge and he groaned, slowly riding out the pleasurable tingles.

Castiel breathed heavily, staring at the large crystal that loomed overhead. He took a moment to admire its beauty, but was jerked back to reality when he felt a pinch on his wing.

'Stop that,' Dean said, voice gruff.

Dean's gruffer voice sent a shiver down Castiel's spine, and he soon found his vision filled with Dean's smug grin.

'Oh, you like that, huh?'

Castiel could feel his face heat up. Was he blushing? He didn't have time to worry because Dean was distracting him with soft, loving kisses. 'Dean,' he tried to say in-between kisses, 'we...we need to...oh...mmm...please, Seraphiel...ahh...Dean...your brother's...hmm...waiting.'

Dean huffed out an annoyed sighed. He sat up, but didn't remove himself from Castiel's lap.

Castiel propped himself up on his elbows and stared at Dean questioningly. 'Dean?'

'Yeah, yeah.' Dean stood and held out a hand and helped Castiel up.

Castiel glanced at the wetness that had formed at Dean's crotch. 'Are you able to restore your clothing, or do you require assistance?' he asked.

Dean closed his eyes and bit his tongue. 'Cas...you are, without a doubt, the worst mood killer ever.' And within a blink of an eye, Dean's clothing was clean. Still rumpled, but clean. 'Now clean yourself up and lead the way.'

.-.-.-.-.

Sam shot up when he heard the soft flutterings. 'Dean!' He turned to see his brother hiding just behind Castiel. 'Dean, Seraphiel...I-I'm...'

'Just...Dean,' Dean said. 'I don't... I'm sorry.'

Sam stepped up to Dean and pulled him into a tight hug. 'Why didn't you tell me? Did...did Dad know?'

Dean pulled out of the hug and looked away. 'Dad would have probably tried to kill me if he knew. I...I didn't tell you because, well... I thought you'd freak out.'

'Oh, believe me,' Sam said, 'I'm freaking out.'

Dean shrugged and gave a little grin. 'Sorry.'

Sam watched his brother and noticed something. The little movements, the way he held himself, the way his eyes kept darting to Castiel... 'Oh, come on! Dean! Really?'

'Hey,' Dean exclaimed defensively, 'it's been a while, okay? And wings are _kinda_ sensitive.'

'But he's an angel!' Sam gestured to the angel in question, and Castiel shifted uncomfortably.

'So am I,' Dean pointed out.

Sam's mouth snapped shut. In that brief moment, he had completely forgotten. Dean was acting exactly as he always had. The only difference was that, now, Sam was privy to more information. His shoulders slumped and he stared down at Dean. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to the idea that his brother was a fallen angel. But, he could try to adjust.

'A-are we good?' Dean asked, uncertainly.

'Yeah... We're good,' Sam confirmed and hugged Dean close. He closed his eyes when Dean wrapped his arms around him.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean pulled away from the hug and finally looked around. Everywhere he looked, posters, books, bottles, paper... His gaze shifted to Chuck, who seemed to shrink in on himself. 'And who are _you_ supposed be?' he asked.

'Dean!' Castiel chastised. 'Chuck Shurley is a prophet of the Lord.'

Dean took a second glance around the room. And, yes, the guy did have prophet written all over him. 'Ugh. Sorry, man,' he said to Chuck. And then he noticed just _what_ was featured on most of the posters and books. He walked over to the coffee table and picked up a stack of papers. He frowned as he flipped through them. 'You're _writing_ about us? You're actually making money off of our misery?'

'Not really,' Chuck replied. 'I still write, but...I'm not being published anymore.'

'I'm reading about myself reading about myself!' He threw the papers back on the table in disgust. 'Do you know anything useful? Or are you just focused on Sam and me?'

'Just you two...'

Dean turned away in frustration. That was the problem with prophets. Damned one trick ponies, the lot of them.

'Um... Ser—er... Dean?' Chuck started.

'What?' Dean said, clearly tired and irritated.

'Does it...hurt?' Chuck asked. At Dean's confused look, he waved a hand at Dean and clarified. 'Your wings. I mean... It looks painful.'

Dean stiffened at the question and quickly hid his wings, blushing.

Sam perked up. 'What do they look like?' he asked Dean.

'You don't want to know,' Dean gruffly replied.

'Dean...'

Dean vanished, and Sam slumped in defeat. He should have kept his mouth shut. Before he could ask Chuck where his brother had run off to, Dean reappeared with a taxidermied falcon.

'This'll have to be close enough,' Dean muttered as he grabbed a fistful of feathers and pulled. He yanked and tugged at the wings. Once satisfied with the damage he had caused, he waved a hand over the dead bird, and splotches of dark red seeped through the feathers, leaving no trace of the original color behind.

Sam watched, fascinated. Even with all the evidence before him, he was still having a hard time believing that Dean was an angel—even a fallen one.

When Dean finished with the stuffed bird's makeover, he turned it around to inspect his work. He felt his stomach drop as what he had just done hit him. He began to shake as he stared at the damaged wings, not so dissimilar to his own. He didn't realize just how hard he was gripping the bird, even as Castiel gently pried his hands free from the bird's talons. He stared at the blood slowly collecting in his palms, the same color as his wings. He could only watch as Sam pressed a towel into his hands. He couldn't hear a word anyone spoke. All he could hear was the harsh beating of his heart and the rush of blood in his ears. It was getting hard to breath.

And then there was a warm light. Adoration, respect, annoyance, and love. He recognized Castiel's Grace as it enveloped him. He desperately latched on with his own Grace. Anything to keep him from spiraling completely out of control.

He slowly came back to himself and focused on Sam.

'Dean! Dean, are you all right? Can you hear me?' Sam was holding Dean's upper arms and searching Dean's eyes for a sign that his brother would pull through.

'Y-yeah,' Dean unsteadily replied. He looked around the room and noticed it was a lot messier than it had been five minutes earlier. Bottles and light bulbs were shattered, papers were torn and strewn across the floor, posters were ripped and barely hanging on the walls, and furniture was overturned. Dean looked to see Chuck shifting nervously from foot to foot. 'S-sorry,' he apologized.

Chuck froze and stared at Dean. 'No... It's my fault. I'm so, so sorry.'

Chuck's response struck Dean as odd, but... Prophets always were an odd bunch, blaming themselves for others' misfortunes and claiming responsibility for anything they predicted. He shook his head at Chuck in dismissal and took another look around. 'Hey, where'd the bird go?'

'I removed it from the premises,' Castiel replied. He continued at the curious poke from Dean's Grace. 'I thought it best to remove the source of your distress.'

Dean rolled his eyes at Castiel and focused his attention on the now soaking, red towel in his hands. In the blink of an eye, the cloth was clean, and no physical evidence remained of his little freak out.

Sam looked around the room in shock. It was actually _cleaner_ than before. 'Wha—how...?!'

'I'm awesome,' Dean smugly replied, slinging the towel over his shoulder and cocking his head to the side.

Castiel frowned. 'That was actually quite impressive...'

'He's been absorbing monsters and ghosts left and right,' Chuck explained as he collapsed into his chair. 'Seriously, I still have nightmares about Prague.'

Sam and Castiel both gave Dean a disapproving stare.

'Hey, I'm cut off from Heaven, here!' Dean shot out defensively. 'I have to get energy from _somewhere_.'

Sam shook his head then suddenly looked at Dean in realization. 'Samhain... You _were_ acting kind of high right after,' he said, looking at Dean with suspicion.

'It's quicker than hunting down bones,' Dean retorted.

Sam let out a disbelieving laugh. 'You're such a hypocrite!'

'Uh, fallen angel!' Dean snapped back, indicating himself. 'At least _I_ have an excuse.'

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. 'You have no—'

'I'm letting you make your own decisions,' Dean said, cutting Sam off. 'I could stop this right now. Go find your “dealer” and take her out. Do you really think it would be hard for me?'

Sam's breathing increased as he felt anger course through him. 'And just how would you find her?' he asked.

'I have...friends...in low places,' Dean admitted. He let a small smile slip. 'One in particular owes me some pretty damned big favors.'

'Wait, you're f—'

'Does this connection have any information on who or what has been killing angels?' Castiel cut in.

Sam threw his hands up and turned away.

'I didn't ask... Someone's killing angels?' Dean bit his lip and looked away. 'Show me what you know,' he finally said.

Castiel nodded and placed a hand against Dean's cheek. Their Graces mingled as Castiel pushed his relevant memories forward, and Dean sifted through them. When Castiel pulled away, he felt irritation wafting from Dean. And something else. Embarrassment. 'Dean?'

'Um...' Dean tried to look anywhere but at Castiel.

'What did you do?' Sam wearily asked for Castiel's sake.

'Now, uh... Don't go totally ballistic on me, okay?' Dean kept sending reassuring touches along his Grace to Castiel.

Castiel frowned in confusion. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Chuck had just buried his face behind a book and was curling up into himself, as if expecting an explosion. He tilted his head and let his Grace return the gentle touches.

Dean searched Castiel's eyes, but had to switch to relying on his Grace to gauge Castiel's reaction. And it wasn't like Castiel was human, so he shouldn't have a human reaction. But he could feel how Castiel was changing. Learning new mannerisms. He chewed his lip and hoped for the best. 'Alastair's not exactly known for lying,' he said quickly.

Castiel frowned in confusion and thought back to everything Alastair had said. One thing stood out amongst the rest. The one thing Alastair had said that Castiel was absolutely certain was a lie. There was a quick intake of breath at the realization.

Dean took a step back as Castiel's wings puffed out aggressively. The lights flickered, casting feathered shadows across the walls. And then he was gone.

Sam gave Dean a confused look. 'What happened?' he asked.

Dean let out a breath hadn't known he'd been holding. 'He took that a lot better than I thought he would.'

'What?'

'Nothin' at all,' Dean replied carelessly as he wrapped an arm around Sam's shoulders. 'Now, you were saying...?'

'I was asking why Cas just up and left,' Sam pressed.

'I thought you wanted to know why I'm friends with a demon.'

'Well, yes, but that can wait.'

Dean ran a hand over his face. Should he tell Sam? Would he understand?

'Dean, just tell me, please,' Sam said, stepping away from Dean.

'In human terms... I uh...may have slept with Alastair.'

Sam stared open-mouthed at Dean. 'Wh—was...' He trailed off, trying to process the new information. His mind was drawing a blank. 'Please don't tell me that's how you made friends in Hell.'

Dean laughed at Sam's remark. 'Oh, Hell, no. Look, every once in a while there was the offer for torture or sex. Torture, get tortured...or...option three,' Dean said. 'I chose.'

Sam stared at Dean in shock. 'Dean...'

'I'm fine,' Dean insisted with a reassuring smile. At Sam's frown, Dean lost his smile. 'I'm. Fine.'

Sam looked away.

Dean walked up to Chuck and plucked the book from unresisting hands. 'My number's now all over this place,' he said. 'The moment you see something even remotely important, I wanna know about it.'

'B-but...'

'Prague, Chuck. Remember Prague?'

Chuck nodded.

'I haven't been to Paris in a long while. Maybe I'll take a little vacation there,' Dean threatened.

'You won't be able to change it,' Chuck argued. 'You can't fight it.'

Dean leaned closer. 'Watch me.'

Chuck gulped, and Dean backed off, heading over to Sam. Chuck watched in silence as Dean placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. When the boys vanished, he allowed himself a small smile.


	12. Chapter 12

Bobby jumped back as Sam and Dean appeared in front of him as a tangled mess on the floor.

Sam's voice drifted up. 'What the Hell was _that_?!'

Dean groaned as he pulled away and stood up. ' _You_ try—' He froze when he caught sight of Bobby and the gun being pointed at his head. 'Er... Hey, Bobby...,' he said as he slowly backed away.

Sam quickly grabbed Dean by the arm and gave him a pleading stare. When he received a resigned sigh in response, he turned to Bobby. 'It's all right, Bobby,' he said, not removing his hand. 'It's Dean.'

Bobby relaxed and lowered his weapon. 'It's good to see ya', son,' he said. 'What was it like?'

Dean looked at Bobby in confusion. He looked to Sam for clarification, who just looked away.

'Y'know,' Bobby continued, 'when you had that angel in ya'.'

Dean pulled out of Sam's grip and headed to the kitchen. 'Your choice, Sammy. I'm gettin' a beer.'

Sam and Bobby watched as Dean disappeared around the corner. Sam knew Dean would be eaves dropping just out of sight. He sighed and look to Bobby. 'Dean is...well...' He wondered how he should phrase it, so Bobby wouldn't freak out. 'As it turns out...Seraphiel _is_ Dean. Always has been...'

Bobby's eyes widened, and he looked in the direction Dean had just gone.

'Since birth,' Sam added.

'Y'mean he's been an _angel_ the whole time?! He...he's been playin' _dumb_?!'

Sam could only nod. He hoped he had made the right decision in telling Bobby.

'Seraphiel!' Bobby yelled. 'You get yer feathery ass back in here this instant!'

Dean slowly poked his head out from behind the corner. 'Scaly would be more accurate,' he said with a slight grin.

'What?'

'Scales. My ass.' He bit his lip at Bobby's unamused glare. 'Er...right. Nevermind...' He walked up and stopped just behind Sam.

'You've been an angel this whole time, and you didn't do more? We're in the God damned _apocalypse_ and it didn't cross your mind that we coulda used some help?!' Bobby stalked up to Dean as he yelled. 'What about the Witnesses? You coulda done somethin'! Anythin'! A lotta good hunters died because of that!'

Dean cringed and took a step back, but Bobby followed. 'I...I was really low on power,' he explained. 'I mean, I didn't get anywhere near up to speed until I absorbed Meg's energy, and... Well, what would you have done? Huh? If I just came right out and said “Hey, guys! I'm an angel! I'll just sap these guys of their energy while you whip up the spell.” You wouldn't have listened. That's how humans are. Act crazy, shoot first, then poke the carcass with a stick. Half of the Witness spell was powered by guilt. Lilith aimed it at hunters 'cuz she knew how there's always at least one they couldn't save. One victim is all it takes. You humans just _rot_ in your guilt. The hunters that died _asked_ for it.'

Sam jumped in surprise as Dean stumbled back from Bobby's punch. He moved to intervene, but stopped at the look on Dean's face. He wanted this. He was asking for it. Dean felt he _needed_ to be punished for his sins. It wasn't humans 'rotting' in their guilt, it was Dean. Sam had to put a stop to it. 'Bobby—'

'Maybe a _real_ angel could have helped out,' Dean bit out in a pained voice, cutting Sam off, 'but they were kind of busy. Y'see, humans just aren't worth it. Remember Samhain? They were gonna just wipe the entire town right off the fuckin' map to keep the seal safe.' Dean wiped at the trickle of blood seeping from his mouth. 'Angels don't care. We're incapable of feeling _anything_.'

'Now, I know you, boy,' Bobby said sternly, 'and I know how you get. You probably do deserve to be strung up by yer heels and whipped within an inch of yer life—if that's even possible. But...yer a good kid, Dean Winchester.' He laid a hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean flinched at the contact. 'I've hunted my fair share of monsters, and I've met all sorts of people. I admit, I don't know much about angels, or how they work, but... Well, you may be some sorta angel, but yer as human as they come.'

Dean stared at his feet. He wasn't counting on Bobby's reaction. He shifted his weight and rubbed at the back of his neck. 'So, uh...' He was pulled into a rough hug before he could say anything else.

'Don't you go disappearin' again, ya' idjit angel,' Bobby said into Dean's shoulder.

Dean nodded. He looked at Sam over Bobby's shoulder and saw Sam giving him a reassuring smile. He tried to smile back, but it came out as a pained frown. It was going to be weird with Sam and Bobby knowing.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean moped around the house for the rest of the afternoon. Every time he ran into either Sam or Bobby, he would awkwardly excuse himself and find a new room to sulk in. He eventually found his way into the kitchen, where a fresh apple pie sat innocently in the middle of the table.

He stared at it from the doorway. It was a trap. It had to be. But it was pie, and it smelled delicious.

He looked around the kitchen before slowly entering. He reached the table and cautiously lifted the pie, checking underneath. It looked safe. He reached out with his senses and could feel Bobby and Sam waiting just out of sight. Maybe it was a peace offering. That had to be it. He was practically immortal, and he had yet to come across a seal he couldn't weasel his way past. Sam had to have figured that out by now.

Encouraged by his positive thinking, Dean brought the pie over to the counter and fished through the drawers for a fork. The moment he took his first bite, he heard the sliding doors slam shut. He sighed and looked up to see the frowning faces of Sam and Bobby. Okay, so maybe it _wasn't_ a peace offering.

'Y'know,' he said, 'I could always just fly off.'

'You've been avoiding us all afternoon,' Sam pointed out. 'Can you blame us for wanting to talk?'

Dean looked away. 'What if I don't want to talk about it?' he asked.

'I think you owe us a few answers, _Seraphiel_ ,' Bobby said. 'Neither of us have been runnin' around pretendin' to be people we ain't.'

At the mention of his name, Dean's attention snapped to Bobby. He really wasn't up for discussing his past, but he needed their trust and acceptance. He took another bite of the pie. No one said he had to be interrogated on an empty stomach. 'Fine. Shoot.'

' _Nun orgy_?'

Dean managed to swallow his food, barely. 'Er...well, uh... I was bored?' he offered. 'And...there were some pretty hot nuns.' He smirked. It was a safe enough topic. Quite possibly one of the tamest things he'd done by present standards.

'Isabella was pretty easy to possess,' he said with a shrug. 'I actually got the idea from her. She became a nun out of penance for digging other chicks.' He let out a soft laugh. 'Nuns are easy after you show them a few “miracles.”'

Sam rolled his eyes as Bobby gave Dean a stern look.

'I hope you ain't been possessin' anyone recently,' said Bobby.

Dean shifted uneasily. 'Just...this. There's no soul in here,' he added quickly, gesturing to himself.

'Yeah, Sam told me about it.'

'So, what would happen if you...left?' Sam asked.

Dean frowned in confusion.

'I mean, if you stopped possessing...him.' Sam didn't know how to refer to his brother's body, and the thought made him uncomfortable.

'I'm the only thing keeping this me—er, uh...body alive,' Dean replied.

'You were going to say “meat suit,”' Sam softly accused, shaking his head. 'Do angels really think so little of us?'

Dean didn't respond. He chose to take another bite of the pie instead.

Sam went up to Dean and snatched the pie away. 'Dammit, Dean!'

'Hey!' Dean reached for the pie, but Sam held it just out of reach. Dean glared up at Sam.

'You can have the rest after,' Sam stated.

Dean tilted his chin up. In the blink of an eye, the space he previously occupied was vacated, and Sam's hand was empty.

Sam brought his hand down as a fist and slammed it on the counter.

'No need to act like a little bitch, Sammy.'

Sam spun around and found Dean sitting calmly at the table.

Dean had a fork in one hand and a beer in the other. He took a swig of beer, looking very pleased with himself. He regarded Sam's and Bobby's shocked expressions. 'Look, I'll answer your stupid questions,' he said. 'But... Sam, you have no idea what it's like. It wasn't that bad for the past couple hundred years, but now? Angels are runnin' around on Earth again.

'They don't bother hiding their presence. I can feel them. I can feel their purity. At least I don't have to look at my wings. But them? They're a constant reminder of how I screwed up. How my _Father_ never lifted a finger to stop me. Didn't stop _them_ from keeping me outta Heaven. The only order He gave was for them not to kill me. But with how things seem to be going on upstairs _right now_? I'm not so sure that order still stands.'

'Anna had mentioned how God wanted her dead,' Sam said. 'You think...'

Dean scoffed and looked out the window. 'Yeah, she also told me how only _four_ angels have ever seen God. I know _that's_ a load of bull.'

Bobby sat at the table across from Dean. 'Well, then it sounds like those four angels probably know what's goin' on,' he said. 'Did she tell you which four?'

Dean contemplated the question as he took another bite. 'Well, _I_ don't count anymore,' he said. 'Definitely Michael...maybe Raphael...'

'So, archangels?' Sam asked. 'I mean, they're pretty high up on the ladder, right?'

Dean rolled his eyes. 'Archangels are actually one level above Cas. They're not as high up as you think. _They'd_ like to think so. There were nine levels.'

'Wait, _were_? Whadya mean “ _were_?”' Bobby cut in.

'There were a lot of casualties on both sides during the war. The entire Second Sphere was divided among the lower ranks,' Dean explained.

'Even though we lost, those of us who survived were given a choice: leave, or stay and face punishment—probably because so many were lost. I was the only one to follow Lucifer. By the time I reached Hell, Lucifer had already created a small army of demons.' Dean let out a bitter laugh. 'Y'wanna know the sick part? He named his first batch after our dead brothers and sisters. I guess he tried to give them their personalities, too. Just look at Lilith. Her namesake was always smiling and loved to play. She was the first one he made.'

'Why did you side with Lucifer anyway?' Sam asked.

'He was my...brother...boyfriend? It's hard to explain,' Dean said. 'I didn't think what he wanted to do was right, but I supported him. We were close. He was older and...he has this way with words. I wasn't the only one that followed him. Like I said before, angels don't really care about humans. Some even hate you for being loved so much by our Father, and not having to do anything in return. You don't even have to believe in Him.'

Sam could detect the bitterness in Dean's voice. 'So, where did Lucifer rank in Heaven? How much higher was he than you?'

Dean almost spat out the beer he was drinking. He tried to contain his laughter, but it came out as a loud snort. 'Outrank _me_?! _No one_ outranked _me_!' he stated smugly. 'Well, me an' Metatron, but yeah... I said he was _older_ not higher up on the food chain. Lucifer was the leader of the Powers, so bottom rung of the Second Sphere.'

'That makes sense,' Bobby commented.

'What does?'

'If you wanted to stage a rebellion, wouldn't _you_ want powerful allies?' Bobby asked. 'It's nice to know that you weren't fakin' bein' an idjit.'

Dean's expression darkened. 'That's not how it was,' he growled. 'I was _made_ for him.' When he realized what he had just said, Dean shut his mouth with a snap. It was an intimate detail about himself he shared with no one. It was a fluke that _he_ even knew about it.

'W-what?' Sam leaned closer, trying to catch Dean's eye.

'Every angel was made for a reason,' Dean quickly explained. 'We all have a purpose to serve.'

'You're purpose was—'

'I don't wanna talk about it!' Dean shouted as the lights flickered. He looked up apologetically at Sam and Bobby. 'Sorry...it's a touchy subject.'

Bobby gave a curt nod, and Sam opened his mouth to speak again, but never got the chance.

'Oh, come on!' Dean yelled out. He threw his arms up in frustration. 'I don't know if this is an interrogation or an intervention!'

'What?' For a moment, Sam thought his brother had gone crazy, but he heard the sound of wings. Just behind Dean stood Castiel, looking as apathetic as ever and splattered with blood.

Dean caught Sam's shocked expression, but brushed it off as a reaction to Castiel's sudden appearance. Without turning, he reached out with his Grace to Castiel and quickly drew back at the immense guilt he felt. He slowly turned in his chair to face Castiel. 'Um...Cas? Whose blood is that?' he asked, allowing his grace to carefully brush against Castiel's.

Castiel looked to floor. He had reacted badly. He shouldn't have done it. Someone was going to find out, and soon. 'I... It would be better if we spoke in private,' he said.

Dean looked from Castiel to Sam. 'I'll be right back,' he said. 'I promise.'

Sam nodded. With a fluttered of wings, he was left alone with Bobby.

Bobby let out a sigh as he stood from the table. 'If you see yer brother before me, tell him I want this place angel-proofed,' he said as he headed out of the kitchen. 'Damned angels can use the door, same as everyone else.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I wrote this before Metatron was introduced in the show, I feel like I should point out that this in not the same Metatron. The Metatron mentioned in this chapter is God's personal scribe.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean appeared shortly after Castiel. They had landed in an abandoned factory. Dean could feel the energies of a few lingering spirits keeping well away from the pair. He pulled his attention away from the ghosts to focus on Castiel.

Castiel was frowning at the floor. 'I'm so sorry, Seraphiel,' he said, breaking the silence. 'If...if we had found you sooner...' He looked up when Dean's hand rested on his shoulder.

'C'mon, Cas,' Dean said in a light tone. 'It was just Hell. I mean, the things I've done... I probably deserve worse.'

Castiel stared at Dean in disbelief. 'What Alastair did to you...no one deserves that. Least of all you.'

Dean didn't acknowledge Castiel, choosing instead to pick at the dried blood on Castiel's coat.

Castiel couldn't read Dean's expression, so he searched Dean's Grace for a clue. He was a little surprised that Dean let him in. Anger, frustration, guilt, and a deep self-loathing he'd only caught glimpses of before. 'Dean—'

'Who was this?' Dean crumbled the dried blood between his fingers. He felt Castiel's guilt kick up again. He met Castiel's eyes. 'Cas? What happened?'

'Alastair,' Castiel quietly replied. 'I confronted him...about you. And he kept gloating. He told me everything.'

Dean nodded and looked away. 'So...you decided to tear him a new hole. What set you off? The fact that every few years I'd get it in my head that the sex wouldn't be as bad as the torture? Or when I changed my mind, he didn't stop?' His voice had started steady enough, but ended shaking with bitter rage and resentment.

'His descriptions made me quite angry,' Castiel admitted. 'But that did not...“set me off.”'

Dean looked back up. He tried to think of what could possibly upset Castiel enough to physically attack Alastair rather than just smite him. 'Then what?'

'It was how he spoke of your wings.'

Dean gave a confused stare. 'Please don't tell me he recited poetry.'

Castiel tilted his head slightly, uncertain if Dean was being serious or trying to lighten the mood. 'No, he was rather explicit about how sensitive they are.'

Dean felt sick to his stomach. His curiosity got the best of him, and he reached for Castiel's memories. He suppressed a shudder as Alastair's laugh echoed through the memory.

'You're awfully sensitive about sweet little Seraphiel... And he _is_ a sweet piece of ass, isn't he? That vessel of his ain't half bad, but those wings! So soft. So...responsive! On our _special_ days, he would always beg for me to stop. To just rip the flesh from his bone instead. All I had to do was run one finger along the base of his wings, and he would make the _prettiest_ noises. He would writhe in pleasure as he begged for it all to stop. Have you touched them yet? If you haven't, you should try squeezing what's left of his smallest wi—!'

There was a loud crack as Castiel punched Alastair, and Alastair laughed through a bloody grin.

Dean cut the memory short as he saw Castiel turn to a nearby table holding various tools, salt, and holy water.

'Um...' Dean didn't know what to say.

Castiel avoided Dean's gaze. 'I believe I became jealous. And...I wanted to make him pay for causing you such pain,' he eventually said. 'I lost control.'

'Happens to the best of us,' Dean replied as he awkwardly patted Castiel's shoulder. 'Happens to me a lot.'

Castiel sighed. 'I killed him.'

'Oh.' Dean pulled his hand back. 'Was kinda hopin' _I'd_ get to do that.'

'I'm sorry.'

Dean shrugged. 'No problem. He was just a demon.' His tormentor was dead. Even though he wanted to have the pleasure of bringing Alastair a slow and agonizing death, he was, at the very least, the reason for the demon's death.

Castiel looked up. 'We needed him alive. Someone is going to find out. Soon.'

Dean scoffed. 'Alive? What for—oh. Right.' He could feel the helplessness emanating from Castiel. 'Well, I'm pretty sure demons aren't behind it.'

'But who else would want angels dead?' Castiel asked.

'Cas, the most a demon could do to you is send your ass back to Heaven. Inconvenient, yes, but nowhere near enough to kill you,' Dean explained. Then a thought struck him. 'Unless he had an angel's blade.'

'What?'

'Have any gone missing?'

Castiel quickly searched his thoughts and memories, coming up empty. 'Not that I'm aware of.'

'Then I hate to break it to ya', Cas, but...the last time angels started dropping like flies, was when Lucifer rebelled.' Dean carefully ran his Grace along Castiel's, hoping the other angel wouldn't react too badly. He felt a slight confusion coming from Castiel as well as disbelief.

'You're implying and _angel_ is behind these deaths,' Castiel said softly. He didn't want to believe it. Had things gotten so bad? He looked up at Dean for answers.

Dean embraced Castiel with his Grace, sending waves of reassurance. He felt a soft numbness in response. 'Look, go back to Heaven and lay low for a while,' he said.

'What about Alastair?'

Dean shrugged and waved a hand in a vague gesture. 'Tell them I was torturing him for information, and...he broke free. Demon backup came. Or something. Tell them you had to kill Alastair in order to save me.'

Castiel gave Dean a doubtful look.

'Trust me. According to all your buddies, I'm human and entirely incapable of even tying my own shoes. They'll buy it.'

Castiel sighed and looked away. 'Very well.'

Dean nodded and turned away. 'Good. Now that _that_ dilemma's out of the way, I have to get back,' he said as he let his senses go back to following the ghosts. Perhaps he should clean house before going back. It was the apocalypse, after all. He needed to be in tiptop shape. He was sharply pulled back to himself when a pair of arms wrapped around him. He relaxed into Castiel's hold and let his Grace mingle. He let out a sigh as he could still feel deep regret coming from Castiel.

'Do you forgive me?' Castiel asked.

Dean had to bite his tongue. Part of him wanted to retort with a smart-assed comment, but he knew Castiel still had an uneasy handle on informal human language. He ran his hand along Castiel's arms. 'I forgive you,' he replied. He smiled when Castiel hugged more tightly, and he felt Castiel's guilt ease away.

Castiel had been feeling a slight need to confront Dean about the past. He needed to let Dean know that all was forgiven. And he knew the other angel wouldn't take it well. He took a deep breath, inhaling Dean's human scent. 'Dean...Seraphiel,' Castiel said softly. 'I forgive you.'

Dean froze. He let out a nervous laugh. ‘Er...I didn't ask. I mean... What for?'

'For siding with Lucifer,' Castiel replied. 'For leading the innocent astray. For everything.'

Dean gave a halfhearted pull, but Castiel held him tightly in place. No, Castiel couldn't forgive Seraphiel for his actions. He was responsible for so much pain and suffering, how could _anyone_ forgive him? He didn't deserve forgiveness.

'Please, Seraphiel,' Castiel said and wrapped his wings around them. 'Please accept my forgiveness.'

Dean struggled against Castiel's hold. 'Don't call me that! How can you forgive me?! Do you have _any_ idea how many angels I personally killed in Lucifer's name?! I was good at it! I _enjoyed_ it! I don't _deserve_ your forgiveness!' Dean pulled harder and desperately tried to push Castiel's Grace away. He was having a hard time dividing his attentions. 'And who are _you_ to forgive _me_? Just some foot soldier stationed on Earth. You have no say in anything. No power. They probably didn't even call on you during the rebellion, you don't matter!'

Castiel ignored Dean's hurtful shouts and forced his way deeper into Dean's Grace, leaving behind a trail of love and forgiveness. 'I forgive you, Seraphiel,' he repeated.

'No, you don't!' Dean shrieked as he tried to flap his wings out in an attempt to dislodge Castiel. The sounds of glass shattering echoed throughout the building when he sent out a short burst of energy. No one had ever gotten so far into his Grace before. Not even Lucifer. He was completely disoriented. He could feel Castiel curiously pressing against some of his memories. If Castiel wanted to see just what Seraphiel had done, then fine. He stopped resisting and pushed his memories of the war forward. Brothers and sisters that had fallen under his blade. Humans whose lives he had destroyed. Humans he put on the path to becoming demons. He just wanted Castiel to understand that he couldn't be forgiven. If God couldn't forgive him, then how could Castiel?

Castiel felt an overwhelming sadness at the memories, but not for the lives affected by Seraphiel. His sadness was for Seraphiel. For the angel that had Fallen so far and for so long. For each memory he saw, he placed a kiss on the back of Dean's neck and repeated, 'I forgive you, Seraphiel.'

Dean fought against Castiel. He kicked and screamed obscenities. He threw his power around, knocking neglected factory equipment into walls as if they weighed nothing. But Castiel would not budge. He clawed frantically at the arms wrapped protectively around him. His energy was quickly diminishing.

Another kiss and another whispered forgiveness in his ear. He cringed as he panted, completely exhausted. It was the complete opposite of his exile. The hatred and debilitating attacks, replaced by love and a tender protectiveness. He was being attacked by Castiel's love and forgiveness on all sides. He tried to rally his energy for another push against Castiel, but found that he had managed to burn through it all. Even his limbs were having trouble cooperating. He was reminded of being dragged from Hell and fighting against Castiel all the way. He let out a mournful laugh. He was back to being next to useless again. At least this time he wouldn't have to sneak around, sniping recharges. He instantly felt a pang of guilt for not telling Sam. For letting Sam find out in the worst way possible. Lost in his misery, he didn't struggle as Castiel turned him around. He reluctantly met Castiel's eyes when his chin was tilted up.

Castiel gave Dean a sad smile and softly kissed him. 'I forgive you, Dean,' he said when he pulled back.

Dean stared at Castiel in shock. He could feel the forgiveness and love. But most of all, there was Castiel's acceptance. Of who he had been and who he had become. He clung onto Castiel for support, his exhaustion from his struggles catching up to him. He blinked as Castiel reached up and wiped away the tears from his cheeks. When had he started crying?

'Will you accept my forgiveness?' Castiel hesitantly asked.

Dean stared silently at Castiel for a few minutes. He just couldn't comprehend why Castiel would forgive him and accept him for who he was. He didn't deserve this. He had been waiting for so long for his Father to either punish or forgive him. Anything. But, clearly, his Father had abandoned him. But he had been brought back from Hell... His Father _must_ have given the order, unless...unless Heaven was just working on a preexisting checklist. Castiel had mentioned how the one who started the apocalypse would be the one to end it. Was his vessel part of a much deeper prophecy than he had originally thought? He had been out of the loop for such a long time, he barely knew anything on the seals. If Heaven really was on auto-pilot, then what should he do?

Dean's thoughts came to a grinding halt as Castiel kissed him quite thoroughly. 'Dean?'

'Wha...?' He tried to recall Castiel's question.

'Do you accept my forgiveness?'

'Oh...right...' Dean sighed. 'Why? _How_ can you just forgive...all that?'

Castiel smiled at Dean and replied, 'Because I love you.'

'Well, yeah, obviously,' Dean said dismissively. Of course Castiel loved him, but that didn't mean anything. Dean still loved Lucifer. It didn't mean he was going to drop everything and help out with the apocalypse.

Castiel took on a frustrated frown. 'No, you misunderstand,' he said. He let out a pulse of energy along his Grace and into Dean's, knowing no human word could possibly describe how he felt.

Dean was overcome with the loving feelings he was getting from Castiel. It was much more than the love of friends or lovers. More than a passing interest in something new. More than anything he had felt from Castiel before. Castiel wanted to spend eternity with him. Stay with him and kiss away his pains and worries. A few images leaked through the connection—accidental or on purpose, Dean wasn't sure. But he could easily tell that Castiel was _very_ interested in exploring the more physical aspects of their relationship. And the boring angel had _quite_ the imagination.

Dean refused to believe that he was blushing. The burning heat on his cheeks came from Castiel's need. The need to be with Dean. To stand by him. To protect him.

The absolute willingness to Fall for him.

Dean tightly shut his eyes at the realization. Sure, Castiel may have told him as much before, but a verbal admission was nothing compared to the knowledge and promises passed through Grace.

'I...I accept,' Dean managed to say though his tears. Everything he wanted, everything thing he needed was being offered to him. 'I accept everything. But not that.' He looked pleadingly at Castiel. 'Don't Fall. Don't leave Heaven. Not for me.'

'But—'

'No! Please, don't make me responsible for that,' Dean begged. 'You want me to be happy? Then stay in Heaven. Promise me.'

Castiel frowned, but nodded all the same.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief and collapsed against Castiel. He hummed happily as fingers trailed through his hair and down to his wings. For a moment, he felt like he was back in Heaven. 'Thank you,' he said quietly.

'You should get back to your brother,' Castiel said.

Dean nodded into Castiel's chest. 'Yeah, just let me grab a quick bite,' he muttered.

Castiel stiffened at the prospect of Dean snagging a ghost. Even though he didn't like it, he could understand Dean's need to replenish lost energy by draining other beings. He did, however, take issue with the fact that Dean was being so casual about. He let Dean know his disapproval by quickly flying them both back to Bobby's.

.-.-.-.-.

Bobby dropped his beer, the bottle shattering on the floor. 'Jesus fuckin' Christ!'

Sam rushed into the kitchen, expecting the worst. What he found was his brother desperately clutching onto Castiel, inches in front of Bobby. 'Dean! Are you alright?'

Castiel carefully guided Dean to the nearest chair.

Dean slumped against the table and glared up at Castiel. 'What did I say about dragging me along?' he growled.

'You do not possess the energy for flight at present,' Castiel stated.

'I was gonna _fix_ that.'

Castiel looked at the floor. 'I did not want you to pursue your old habits,' he hesitantly admitted.

'What habits?' Sam asked.

'The usual,' Dean replied. 'Apparently, Cas doesn't want me snacking on ghosts.' He huffed in annoyance. 'It's not like I have much of a choice, y'know.'

'I wish you felt otherwise,' Castiel sadly replied.

With their Graces still entwined, Dean started poking around, trying to figure out just what Castiel was on about. He scratched at his head before replying. 'Look, I know you don't like it—you _and_ Sammy,' he said, looking to Sam. 'But...I can't just wait around for my power to slowly come back. Not right now, at least.'

Castiel nodded in understanding. He still didn't like it, but he could understand Dean's reasoning. 'I should get back... Please, don't...do anything too drastic.'

'We'll keep him outta trouble,' Bobby said.

Castiel gave Bobby a quick nod before vanishing.

With Castiel's disappearance, Dean felt empty and alone. He barely registered Sam's presence by his side.

'Dean? Dean! Hey, snap out of it,' Sam said as he gently shook his brother. He snapped his fingers in front of Dean's face.

'What?' Dean half whined as he rolled his head in Sam's direction.

'Are you okay?'

Dean rolled his eyes and shrugged.

'What the Hell happened?' Bobby asked. 'You were just fine when you left.'

'Mmm...intervention?' Dean offered as he lazily rubbed his neck. At the confused looks he was receiving, he elaborated. 'Cas got it in his head that he needed to forgive me. And shove it down my throat. Trying to keep him out of my Grace took a lot out of me.'

Sam frowned at Dean.

'I thought you two were uh...,' Sam faltered, not exactly sure what Dean's relationship with Castiel was.

'We're... I dunno, man. It's complicated.'

'Wait, you and that _angel_ are...' Bobby paused, trying to think of a good word.

' _Complicated_ ,' Dean ground out.

'He's an _angel_ ,' Bobby shot back. 'Ain't there some sorta rule against that?'

Dean gaped at Bobby then turned his attention to Sam. 'What is it with you guys? Is there some...human thing where you're just incapable of believing angels can fuck around?!'

'Well, angels are sexless, right?' Sam said, blushing slightly as he reminded himself that his highly sexual brother was an angel. 'I mean, how would they...you...er...be intimate?'

'Through our Grace. Or, if you wanna get physical, try our wings. I happen to like my tail being stoked,' Dean replied. It was surreal. He never dreamed that he would be speaking to Sam about an angelic version of the birds and the bees talk.

'Tail?' Sam repeated.

Dean threw his arms up in frustration. 'I'm not having this conversation anymore!' he declared. 'Today has been a little _too_ fucked up for my tastes.' He stood up and unsteadily made his way out of the kitchen, gripping the door frame as his head swam and his vision blacked out. He closed his eyes and waited for the feeling to pass. The moment he could stand on his own, he was going to hunt down _something_. He was weaker than he was from his return trip from Hell.

'Dean?!' Sam quickly stepped up to Dean, ready to lend a helping hand if needed.

Dean waved Sam and Bobby off. 'I'm _fine_. I'm gonna crash on the couch for a while,' he said. 'A long while.' He quickly left the room and made his way to the couch.

Bobby sighed as a loud crash came from Dean's direction.

'I can fix that,' Dean's voice shouted out. '...Later...'

Bobby gave Sam a look. 'I think I was happier not knowin' 'bout him.'

Sam shrugged in response. Dean was right. That day had been too weird. It was just one thing right after another. They could certainly use a break from the craziness.


	14. Chapter 14

Dean stared at the ceiling. He had just slept. Actually slept. And dreamt. Not just traipsing along his or some other being's dreamscape, but a real dream spawned from what he presumed was his imagination. In his dream, Sam was an antlered banana, and the walls had bled light bulbs. He would have found it amusing, had it not frightened him to the core. Angels didn't dream. _He_ couldn't dream.

Dean shifted uncomfortably on the couch before sitting up. He felt...odd. Rested, but still without power. His body was sore, and his wings hurt. He brought his wings out and sighed at the slight relief from the constant throb. He hoped everything was due to his lack of energy.

Sam entered the room just as Dean stood and stretched. He could just make out the faint shadow of Dean's wings being cast across the wall. 'Are you feeling better?' he asked.

Dean popped a few joints as he shook his head. 'Not really,' he replied. He looked at Sam and wondered if he should mention his dream. Probably. 'So... I had this dream...'

'Yeah?' Sam came further into the room. With him, he carried a list of potential hunts. One in particular would prove to be a silver lining or a complete disaster.

Dean waited until Sam finally looked at him. 'That's the whole point, Sam. I dreamt.'

Sam frowned at the worry evident in Dean's voice. 'Well, what was it about?'

'No—Sammy...' Dean let out a frustrated sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. 'I have _never_ had a dream.' He held up a hand when he saw Sam was about to argue. 'And it's not an issue of not remembering dreams. I'm not human. I don't need sleep. When my body's asleep, I'm...astral projecting or some shit. Not. Dreaming.'

Sam watched as his brother went from somewhat calm to absolutely frantic. 'Well, maybe it's because you're so low on energy,' he offered. 'You're...in a human vessel,' he said, still feeling uneasy about the concept of Dean's vessel. 'Maybe that has something to do with it.'

Dean frowned and looked away. 'I hope that's it. I've never been this low, Sammy,' he admitted.

'Then we'll just find a nice, easy job. I've gone through all the voicemails and found a few hauntings,' Sam said as he raised his notebook. 'After we—'

Dean snatched the list from Sam. 'Ghost'd be easiest—liquids to solids and all that.'

Sam tried to retrieve the notebook before Dean saw his scribblings for one of the messages left on one of their father's old numbers. 'Then how about the haunting over in northern Iowa. It's close and—'

'Who's Adam?'

Sam's shoulders slumped in defeat. 'He left a message on Dad's phone.'

'Never heard of him. Hunter needin' help?'

'Not...really.'

Dean looked up at Sam. He studied his brother for a moment and decided he didn't like what he was seeing. 'Sam? Who's Adam?'

Sam bit his lip. 'He's... I think he's our brother.'

Dean stared at Sam in disbelief. 'Bullshit.'

'I already looked him up. He's a real person, and...about nine months before he was born...Dad was in  Windom on a hunt. I found a newspaper article with his picture, and two pages are torn out of Dad's journal.'

'So? That don't mean shit, and you know it.'

Sam sighed. He knew Dean wouldn't take the news well. At least Dean didn't have the power to cause any damage—especially since he no longer needed to worry about blowing his cover. 'Look, we'll go check out that haunting, then we can see about Adam. I mean, if he is lying, then at least we'll be prepared,' he reasoned.

But it was too late. Dean already had his phone out and was dialing the number written next to the name.

Sam winced at Dean's harsh tone. Maybe he should have called Adam before speaking with Dean. At least then the poor kid would have been spared Dean's less than sympathetic declaration of their father's death.

When Dean finally disconnected the call, he turned to Sam. 'We're goin' to Minnesota.'

'Dean—'

'We're gonna find out _what_ that thing is and take it out,' he said as he shoved the notebook at Sam and headed out of the room.

'And what if he really _is_ our brother?'

Dean stopped short. He hadn't thought about it. If everything Adam had said was true, then... 'We give him our condolences and stay out of his life. He'll be better off.'

Sam reluctantly nodded.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean was getting more and more agitated the closer they got to Windom. Sam had managed to talk Dean into meeting up with Adam the next day. Barely. He felt that Dean could use a spare night to get used to the idea that they might have another brother.

That night, Dean dreamt he was back in Heaven. He had his Father's love, Lucifer was behaving, and Castiel was by Dean's side. It was perfect.

When he awoke, he locked himself in the bathroom until he could stop crying. He was grateful that Sam didn't say anything.

They arrived at the diner they had agreed to meet at, and Sam was beginning to think that they should have called Adam up and postponed their meeting even longer.  Dean was obviously miserable. Tired and emotionally exhausted, he was in no state to handle a delicate situation.

Sam winced as Dean snapped at the waitress. He silently watched as Dean emptied the glass and filled it with Holy water. He wasn't very surprised when Dean pulled out the silverware and replaced the diner's plain utensils. He understood that there was a high possibility that their so-called long-lost brother was a trap, but he just couldn't understand why Dean was so offended by the whole idea.

Things went downhill quickly when Adam showed up. Sam wasn't quite sure what was up with Dean. Even after Adam passed Dean's tests, Dean still wouldn't buy that Adam was their brother.

Sam was just about to follow Dean out the diner when Adam called out to Dean. 'I can prove it.'

That was how Sam and Dean ended up in the Milligan household. Dean couldn't put his finger on it, but something just wasn't right about Adam. Sure, the kid's story was plausible, and Sam's evidence backed it up, but something was off.

And then there were the family photos. Hugs, smiles, baseball... _He_ never got to go to a baseball game. He knew it shouldn't bug him as much as it did—John wasn't even his real father—but it was like one big reminder. As much as Dean had tried to be a good son to John Winchester, the neglect he experienced only served to remind him of the absence of his real Father. Quite simply, Dean was jealous. He would have traded all the time spent in John's _presence_ for a few short visits if it had meant he'd have gotten John's love and attention.

Dean shook the thoughts from his head and focused back on Adam. He wondered if Adam's mother was human. There were plenty of halfbreeds running around. But, he was pretty sure that John would have been more careful about something like that. He desperately wished he had his powers back. He hated being so useless. So...human.

Dean felt even more unsure when he found bits of Adam's mother in the ventilation. He couldn't get a decent read off of the chunks. Human, not human, age... Nothing. Whatever was going on, he could cross off the idea that Adam was the monster John had hunted—the kid didn't feel old enough.

In the privacy of their motel room, Dean voiced his suspicions to Sam. Sam suggested that paranoia was playing tricks on him. Dean had to admit that is was entirely possible. But, he still felt like he had no reason to trust Adam. He reluctantly admitted to Sam that they should have gone on the ghost hunt first.

Sam gave Dean an encouraging smile before Adam burst through the door, demanding answers.

Dean let out a frustrated growl as Sam told Adam the truth. Much to Dean's irritation and surprise, Adam took the news quite well. Family or not, he was just too trusting. It was very suspicious.

Dean played his mistrust of Adam off as upholding their father's intentions of protecting Adam. He could understand Adam wanting to avenge his mother's death, but the boy was in no position to be of any help.

Dean was confused and annoyed. He needed to get out of the small room and clear his head. He figured Sam could keep an eye on Adam while he did some investigating.

At least that was one thing he could still do. He found out a little bit more on what had happened seventeen years ago, but nothing to help narrow down what they were after.

He arrived back at the motel just in time to rescue Sam from being dragged into the sewers. He dipped his fingers in the fresh blood, but refrained from tasting it—one thing that both Sam and Dean agreed on was that Adam didn't need to know what Dean really was. Not yet.

Dean was less than thrilled when Sam hinted at using Adam as bait. Even less so at the prospect of training the kid and bringing him into the life of a hunter. But Adam wanted it, and Sam wanted to do it, so Dean let them have their fun.

Dean wanted the hunt to be over. Every day they spent on the job meant another night of dreaming. He didn't know how much more he could take. How could humans stand it? Being shown such bliss and happiness, only to have it ripped away every morning.

He was contemplating the meaning of his latest dream when Sam started reciting a very familiar speech to Adam. It seemed so wrong coming from Sam. Dean pulled Sam aside, hoping that Sam was going to reveal that he was giving the speech to Adam in order to scare him off. Apparently, that was not the case.

'He's a Winchester; he's already cursed,' Sam said cynically, momentarily throwing Dean off.

Sam couldn't know about the bloodline. About being Lucifer's true vessel. No, Sam was simply referring to all the shit going on in their lives. Some of it was a little more extreme than what the average hunter came across, but it was still pretty standard. And if Adam really was their brother—human or some little halfbreed—Dean was going to hunt down the monster after him and prove they weren't cursed. He would take another look and find it. And kill it.

Back in the mausoleum, Dean extended his senses out as far as he could. He could just make out the faint traces of a supernatural creature in one of the corners. He found a loose stone and the narrow tunnel hidden behind. It reeked of death. He sighed, not looking forward to having to crawl through the hole. He really wished he could just zap over to the other side.

He was about to enter the hole when he felt a presence lingering just outside the mausoleum. He set down the flashlight, and slowly, carefully, Dean edged away from the hole. He kept low and made his way back to the entrance. He tightened his grip on the crowbar and came out swinging. He hit the creature squarely in the chest.

He raised the crowbar for another swing as he watched the blonde stumble against the wall. He reached out, trying to get a feel for what he was dealing with. It felt just like Adam and about the same age, too. When the creature looked up, Dean was greeted with Kate Milligan's face. He reflexively took a step back. There was no way she could still be alive. There was too much blood, and the thing in front of him was too young. Not a shapeshifter, missing corpses...

'Yer a ghoul,'

'Y'know, I find that term racist,' the ghoul replied before charging at Dean.

Dean took a steadying breath. He dropped the crowbar and slammed his hand against the ghoul's head. He opened the path to the void where his power should be.

Black and red wafts of energy engulfed his hand and the ghoul's head. He almost pulled back when bright white sparks burst forth. When there was no life left in the ghoul, Dean pulled his hand back with a snap. He fell to his knees, gasping for air.

He really should have started with a ghost. He winced as he stood.

Everything was...brighter. He might not have been completely back to speed, but he could at least feel the fresh corpses nearby, tainted by the ghouls' work.

He flitted into the hidden chamber and located Joe, Kate, and Adam. Poor Adam. The kid really was John's third son. At least he was in a better place. Even with that thought, Dean felt a flash of anger. Anger at himself for being jealous, anger for the life cut short, and anger at the ghoul parading around as Adam, playing them for fools.

He flew back outside and stood over the ghoul's corpse. He really shouldn't, but he wanted to catch the other ghoul off guard. He would need this ghoul's scent for that. A knife materialized in his hand, and he set to work.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean landed just outside the front door of the Milligan house. He could pinpoint the ghoul's location, and Sam was right there, too. No doubt waiting over the open vent in the master bedroom. He threw open the door and entered the house. He called out to 'Adam' with a pitch-perfect imitation of Kate's voice.

He listened as Adam ran downstairs, closely followed by Sam.

'Mom! Mo—D-Dean?!' Adam looked wildly around, searching for the other ghoul. He could smell her, but...

Sam tilted his head in question at Dean.

Dean smiled at his brother in response. 'Hope you don't mind, Sammy, but I grabbed a quick bite while I was out,' he said. He turned to Adam and let his easy smile slip to a smirk. 'I brought you some leftovers.'

'Where's my mom?' the ghoul asked, pacing back and forth. 'I know I heard her.'

'Yeah, sorry. Just a cheap trick,' Dean replied with a shrug. 'But here's what's left of your sister or brother or...whatever it is you guys are.' Dean held out his hand, revealing a bloodied heart. 'Ghouls eat dead things, right?'

The ghoul screeched in response, and Dean brought out his wings. The lights flickered, revealing feathered shadows on the walls, and the ghoul shrank back.

'What are you?!'

Sam had brought up his shotgun and was aiming it at the ghoul's head. 'Dean?'

'This one's all yours, Sam,' Dean replied.

The ghoul turned towards Sam, and Sam blew its head off.

Sam grimaced as the body twitched on the floor. He looked over at Dean. 'So you're...good now?' he asked.

Dean tossed the heart on the floor next to the ghoul. He shook his hand out, and the blood vanished. 'I'm good enough,' he replied. He was still a little put off by the sparks of white light. He brushed it off as being completely depleted of his energy and not working his way up from the residual energy of ghosts to the more robust life force of a solid creature.

'Let's clean up this mess and give Adam a proper burial.'

Sam frowned at Dean in confusion.

'Adam—the _real_ Adam—really was our brother. The pictures, the journal...none of that was faked. I found his body in the cemetery.'

'So we were too late,' Sam said quietly.

Dean shook his head. 'We didn't know. There was no way we could have saved him.'

'He didn't deserve this.'

Dean nodded in agreement.

They cleaned up their mess and gave Adam a hunter's funeral on Dean's insistence.

That night, Dean didn't sleep. For a short while, he watched Sam sleep. He no longer felt his body's exhaustion pulling at him, and he was grateful. Or, he thought he was. He had quickly come to feeling apprehension over falling asleep, but, now... As he watched Sam, he couldn't help but want the bliss he had attained in his dreams. Even if it was for a teasingly short time and completely intangible.

He sighed to himself and pulled out the list of jobs Sam had made. He hoped sapping a few ghosts would prevent the white sparks from returning.


	15. Chapter 15

Castiel flew quickly. He had to warn Dean. He stretched his senses far and felt no other angels in his immediate vicinity. He landed in a vacant factory and looked around before sending a desperate prayer to God for some sort of sign. Some clue. There was no response. Not that he was really expecting one.

He did another sweep of the area with his senses before reaching out with his Grace to locate Dean. He was quite surprised to find Dean already asleep.

Castiel looked around the dreamscape. It was quite simple: a pier on a quiet lake with trees in the distance. He looked down at Dean, uncertain as to what was going on.

Dean looked up and frowned at Castiel. ‘Are you real, or did I just make you up?’

‘I am very much real… I—what is going on?’ Castiel asked as he looked across the lake. He had trouble focusing on the trees—their forms kept bleeding into each other.

Dean coughed self-consciously and looked away in embarrassment. ‘I uh… I’m trying my hand at dreaming. Just…simple stuff right now.’

Castiel stared at Dean in confusion. ‘Why?’

Dean fiddled with the fishing rod. ‘I… You left me pretty drained. I slept. …I dreamt.’

Castiel stared at Dean in surprise. ‘How…? What was it like?’ he asked, genuinely curious.

Dean let out a bitter laugh. ‘It sucked.’

Castiel frowned, not understanding why Dean would pursue something that so clearly caused him pain. He looked away, refocusing on why he was appearing to Dean within a dream. ‘We need to talk. I have something of great importance to tell you.’

Dean looked up at Castiel with wary interest. ‘Is this something I _want_ to know?’

Castiel shook his head. ‘No.’

Dean sighed and looked back out at the lake. ‘So what’s so important that you can’t tell me in person?’

Castiel opened his mouth and quickly shut it. There was an angelic presence closing in on him. There was no time. He brushed Dean’s Grace with his own and sent his location to Dean just before vanishing.

Dean’s head snapped in Castiel’s direction, but the angel was gone. Along with the factory’s location, Castiel had unwittingly sent his fear and desperation.

Dean immediately woke up and pulled himself up from the couch. ‘Sam!’ he yelled out. ‘You have five minutes, then we’re headin’ out!’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean scanned the area with his senses as he pulled up to the factory. It was the right place, but there was no sign of Castiel.

‘He’s not here,’ he said gruffly.

‘Well, maybe he left a note?’ Sam said as his eyes swept over the old building. ‘I mean, he must have left a clue or something if it was that important.’

Dean sighed as he leaned against the steering wheel. ‘Yeah, maybe,’ he said doubtfully.

Upon entering the building, they found the place a complete mess. Dean could feel slight traces of angelic power lingering.

‘There was a fight here,’ Dean said as he stepped over a fallen beam.

‘Demons?’

‘Angels,’ Dean corrected as his flashlight settled on the large Enochian banishment spell. ‘What did you get yourself into, Cas?’ he muttered.

‘Dean! I found him!’ Sam shouted from close by.

Dean did a quick sweep, but found no sign of the angel. Just a human. As he got closer, he saw Casitel’s vessel lying unconscious in a pile of rubble. Why would Castiel leave his vessel? What was so urgent?

Before Dean could correct him, Sam was already addressing the human by Castiel’s name.

‘Castiel? No… I’m not Castiel. It’s me,’ the human replied in daze.

‘Who?’ Sam asked.

‘Jimmy.’

Dean stared as Sam helped Castiel’s vessel stand. He still felt a vague attraction to the man, but without Castiel’s presence and Grace, it just wasn’t the same. He wondered if Castiel would return. Did someone in Heaven find out about them? About Seraphiel? Was Castiel being punished? Would he ever return?

Dean’s heart clenched at the thought. If Castiel was locked up in Heaven, then… No. He refused to believe it. Castiel _would_ return. And when he did, he would need his vessel. So, until that time, Dean would need to keep Jimmy safe.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean rubbed his neck as he looked though the motel window at Jimmy, who was still enjoying his fast food. ‘I’m gonna try lookin’ for Cas. See what I can find out,’ he said.

‘What should I tell Jimmy?’ Sam asked.

‘Nothin’. I’m leaving my body here.’

‘What?! Won’t that make you…dead or…something?’

‘I’ll be back before rigor mortis sets in,’ Dean replied.

‘Rigor—Dean!’

‘Look, I’m kinda recognizable,’ Dean said defensively. ‘Both as a human and an angel. And I can’t…I can’t have anyone making the connection.’

‘But…what if you can’t…come back?’

‘Think of it like Ruby with coma girl.’

Sam gave Dean a doubtful look.

‘Sam, it’ll be fine. _I’ll_ be fine. I’ll leave enough juice to keep vitals going for a few hours,’ Dean said reassuringly. ‘Just keep an eye on Jimmy.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean slinked through the shadows, looking for a decent meat suit. His search for Castiel had been fruitless. The angel was nowhere on Earth. And, as much as he liked the mangy crow he currently wore, he would need something human.

He found one exiting a nearby night club, drunk off her ass and followed closely by a couple of vampires. Well, Dean could do _one_ good deed before using the poor girl. Maybe it would balance out his karma.

He slipped into the girl as she stumbled around the corner. He leaned against the wall as he shifted the human’s consciousness into sleep.

‘Hey, Sweetie, need some help?’ said a smarmy voice as a hand rested on Dean’s new arm.

Dean craned his neck up to look at the two men. ‘If I were you, I’d start running. Or else…’ He trailed off with a shrug.

The two vampires laughed. ‘Or what?’ One asked as he ran a finger up Dean’s arm. ‘You’ll Mace me?’

Dean pushed off the wall and shifted his weight. And promptly fell on his ass. He glared up at the laughing vampires. They extended their teeth, grinning down at Dean.

He was angry and embarrassed. As one leaned in, Dean reached up and grabbed him by the neck. He brought out his wings and let his power brush over the vampires. That would show them to laugh at him.

‘W-what?!’

Dean grinned as he drained the vampire of its life force.

The white sparks were still there, and Dean chose to ignore them. He had other things to worry about at that moment.

‘W-what are you?’ the second vampire asked as he backed away.

Dean stood shakily. ‘Way out of your league,’ he replied. He quickly closed the distance between them and sapped the vampire.

He let out a sigh as he reached out with his newly recharged power. He couldn’t risk going to Heaven, and he didn’t want to deal with a whole group of angels. He needed to find _one_ angel, preferably younger. One he could easily bully for information. He was about to try somewhere else, when he felt the slightest trace of a familiar Grace.

‘Oh, you’ll do nicely,’ he muttered to himself and took off.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean kept his Grace well-concealed as he approached the other angel’s location. He found her on a rooftop, staring off into the distance. He almost lost his balance when he landed, but quickly caught himself on a wall. He tucked his wings away and readied himself.

‘Hello, Anna,’ he greeted with a grin.

Anna spun around. There were no other angels around. No demons, either. She stared at the girl that stood on the rooftop with her. Cautiously, she reached out with her Grace, but found nothing. As far as she could tell, the girl was human. She found thoughts on college, stress about money, exams, speeding tickets… Just a normal human.

‘Do you like it?’ Dean asked as he indicated the body he wore. ‘A bit short for my tastes.’

Anna frowned. ‘Who are you? _What_ are you?’

‘Oh, that’s right! We’ve never been properly introduced. Probably before your time…,’ Dean replied conversationally. He revealed his wings and let his Grace caress Anna’s. He forced a grin when she recoiled.

‘S-Seraphiel!’ She took a step back, but still stood tall. ‘I’m not afraid of you!’

‘Oh, yeah?’

‘I killed your friend,’ she said as she pulled out her blade.

‘My friend?’ Dean repeated. Dean stared blankly at Anna. ‘Which one? I got lots of friends.’

‘How many more angels are siding with Lucifer?’ she questioned as she advanced on Dean.

Dean stood his ground and raised his wings in warning.

Anna stopped. A look of doubt drifting over her features. She was well-trained. She knew she was good. She wasn’t just handed her own garrison, she had earned it. But, this was Seraphiel. Head of the Seraphim. Part of God’s innermost circle. He had _seen_ God. She had heard the rumors of how powerful he was. How much damage he had caused during the Rebellion. She shifted into a defensive stance.

‘Now, then. Which. One?’ Dean glared at Anna. Did Castiel let something slip? Did Anna find out and just assume that Castiel was on Lucifer’s side?

‘Your recruiter, Uriel,’ Anna bit out.

Dean couldn’t hide his relief. ‘Oh, that’s fine. I never liked him anyway.’

Anna frowned in confusion. ‘But…’

Dean let out an irritated sigh. Just because he Fell, didn’t mean he was Lucifer’s personal lackey. ‘I’m not on Lucifer’s side. Not anymore.’

‘Then whose side _are_ you on?’ Anna asked. She had to concentrate on keeping her eyes locked with Seraphiel’s. It was so hard for her to keep from staring at the blood red wings she had only heard whispers about.

‘My side,’ Dean replied. ‘And whose side are _you_ on, Anna? You’re not exactly on good terms with Heaven, are you? But you haven’t been cut off, either…’

Anna gave Dean a hard glare. ‘Whatever it is you’re planning, I’ll have nothing to do with it. And I _will_ stop you.’

Dean let out a laugh and rolled his eyes. ‘I’m not planning anything,’ he replied. ‘But I would like some information.’

‘And you think I’ll give it to you?’ she scoffed.

‘With a little persuasion, yes. If you don’t answer, I’m sure I could just ask the Winchesters. I’m sure Dean would be all over this pretty little thing. Ooh, or maybe their little guardian angel. Do you think Castiel knows anything good?’ He was fishing for an answer, hoping that Anna would let something slip.

Anna stiffened at the threat, and pointed her weapon at Dean. ‘You leave them alone!’

‘Mm… That’s gonna be a little hard for me to do,’ was Dean’s honest reply. ‘Shouldn’t be too hard to find, either. Just follow the path of destruction, right? Just think of all the fun games I could play with them!’

Anna charged at Seraphiel, but the fallen angel was fast. He was off and away, and she couldn’t sense him any longer. Tracking down the human would be useless. She wasn’t vessel material, and Seraphiel would ditch her as soon as possible.

Why was Seraphiel making himself known? He had been quiet for centuries. What could he possibly want _now_? She needed to warn Sam and Dean. Castiel had been dragged back to Heaven, so he was safe. From Seraphiel, at least.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean returned to his body to find Sam staring at him. He flinched back with a shout. ‘Jesus, fuck!’

Sam visibly relaxed as Dean sat up. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked as he hovered over Dean, half expecting to find fresh wounds.

Dean looked over to Jimmy, but found the other bed vacant. He looked back at Sam in confusion. ‘Where’s Jimmy?’

Sam’s expression quickly changed to one of guilt. ‘He…got away.’

‘Uh-huh.’ Dean raised his brow at Sam. He grabbed Sam’s shoulder and pulled himself off the bed. With the physical contact, he gently checked over Sam with his Grace. The demonic taint in Sam’s blood was fresh. Small, but certainly fresh. He sighed as he stood. He stumbled as he took a step, and Sam caught him.

‘Are you okay?!’ Sam asked in alarm.

Dean pushed Sam off with a grunt. ‘I’m fine. Just haven’t been body snatching in a while.’

Sam frowned. It was disturbing enough to think of Dean leaving his body, but the thought of him possessing another body brought Sam’s discomfort to a whole new level.

Dean popped his neck as he headed to the bathroom. He reemerged with his toothbrush. ‘Ugh. Was my mouth open the whole time?’ He grimaced at Sam’s nod.

Sam watched Dean warily, waiting for the inevitable blowup.

‘So… Jimmy got away… And where were you?’ Dean asked casually.

‘Getting a Coke,’ Sam lied.

Dean turned from Sam and rolled his eyes. Why was Sam bothering to lie? Did he really think Dean wouldn’t find out that he was still drinking demon blood? He sighed as he finished brushing his teeth.

‘Well, let’s get going. At least we know where he’s headed.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean’s mind was on Sam’s demon blood addiction when Anna popped up in the back seat. He swerved the car, and blushed deeply at being caught off guard.

‘Anna! What are _you_ doing here?’ he said, feigning ignorance.

Anna opened her mouth in reply, but quickly shut it as she turned her gaze on Sam. ‘Sam, you feel…different.’

Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw Sam shift uncomfortably. ‘I don’t know why…’

Anna frowned as she returned her attention to Dean. ‘Have you guys encountered anyone…unusual?’ she asked.

‘Kinda vague, Anna,’ Dean pointed out.

‘There’s an angel. A _fallen_ angel, named Seraphiel. He approached me last night and expressed interest in you two.’

‘Well, he can get in line,’ Dean said, keeping Anna’s attention away from Sam’s reaction.

‘No, Dean,’ Anna pleaded. ‘He’s bad news. He sided with Lucifer during the rebellion. When he was banished, he set up shop on Earth and caused _a lot_ of damage. _He caused the Black Death!_ ’

‘What?!’ Sam exclaimed and stared at Dean.

Dean shrunk a little and kept his eyes on the road ahead. He hadn’t meant for it to happen… It was supposed to hit _one_ village, but things had gotten a little out of hand. He cleared his throat and kept his voice level as he spoke. ‘So, what did he want?’

‘I don’t know,’ she replied.

‘What do you _think_ he wanted?’

Anna sighed. ‘The other angels are being very careful of what they say, but I can tell _something_ big is about to happen… Essentially, Earth is Seraphiel’s…turf. He probably noticed the increase in angel activity and wants to know what’s going on.’

‘Don’t we all,’ Dean commented. So, Anna turned out to be a dead end. Maybe she at least had an idea as to what had happened to Castiel. ‘So, uh… Do you know what happened to Cas?’

‘He was dragged back to Heaven.’

Dean tried not to wince. ‘Do you know why? Did he say anything to you?’

Anna shook her head. ‘I was hoping _you_ knew something,’ she admitted.

Dean sighed in annoyance. ‘No, and Jimmy doesn’t remember anything. Nothing important.’

‘…Jimmy?’

‘Cas’s vessel,’ Sam replied.

Anna nodded and glanced around the backseat. ‘Where is he now?’

Sam looked away uneasily. ‘He, uh…got away.’

‘What?!’

‘Don’t worry,’ Dean reassured her. ‘We know where he is. We’re on our way right now.’

Anna huffed and left without a word.

Dean held up a hand, silencing Sam. Once Anna was out of range, he nodded.

‘You went after _Anna_?!’

Dean shrugged. ‘She was close by, and I figured she’d be easy,’ he replied.

‘She doesn’t suspect anything, does she? I mean, what happens when someone finds out about you?’

Dean bit his lip. He didn’t want Sam to know about the whole ‘true vessel’ thing. If they could keep Lucifer locked up, it wouldn’t be an issue. ‘There’s not much they _can_ do to me… Someone might be very upset, though,’ he admitted. He flashed Sam a shit-eating grin. ‘But, like I said, there’s not much they can do about it. And I can always blame Dad. He’s the one that let me get away with all this.’

It took a moment for Sam to realize that Dean was talking about God. Part of him wished he’d never found out. He still had his brother. Dean would always be his brother. But, Seraphiel… What was _Sam_ to the angel? Was Dean just playing a part? Dean had to have lived for aeons. What was one human lifetime to him? How much could one human mean to him?

Sam shook the thoughts from his mind. He had read Chuck’s rendition of what had happened the night Sam had found out about Seraphiel. He had read about the loss Dean had felt from Sam’s reaction. Dean was still the same over-protective, self-loathing jerk he had grown up with. The only real difference now, was that he knew the reasoning behind the self-loathing.


	16. Chapter 16

Sam and Dean barely made it in time to save Jimmy and his family. As Dean watched Jimmy’s wife approach the car, he cursed himself for not taking care of the demon when he had the chance. He could just gank the demon right there. Knife her, smite her. It wouldn’t matter either way. Jimmy would probably hate him for it, and then there would be no way that the human would cooperate. He couldn’t _say_ anything, either. He would have to bide his time and hope for the best.

When they left the demon and Jimmy’s daughter behind, he finally spoke. ‘Sorry to say this, Jimmy, but your wife’s possessed,’ he said.

‘What?! You’re lying! How can you tell?!’ Jimmy shouted from the backseat.

Dean grimaced and bit his lip. How much should he say? ‘Well, y’know how Sam can sorta control demons? I can sense them,’ he replied. For someone out of the loop, it would seem plausible.

‘Then why did you leave them there? You left my _daughter_ back there with a _demon_! We have to go back!’ Jimmy tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. He tried the lock, but the door remained in place. ‘Let me out!’

Dean slowed the car and eventually stopped. ‘I’m keeping track of her,’ he said distractedly. ‘The further away we get, the harder it is, so do me a favor and shut up.’

‘What?! So follow them! Get them back!’ Jimmy demanded as he grabbed for Dean.

Dean easily grabbed Jimmy’s hand and held it in place. ‘Look, they want _you_. They want whatever information you have, and when they find out that you know jack shit, then they’ll slowly cut you apart to find out what makes you tick,’ he explained. ‘They’re gonna use your family as bait. We wait for them to contact you.’

‘But—’

‘They don’t know that we know your wife’s possessed. They don’t know that we can follow them. We have the upper hand right now.’

‘Dean’s right,’ Sam said. ‘This is the safest route for your family.’

‘How do you know that?’ Jimmy wailed as he slumped against the backseat.

‘I know how demons work,’ Dean replied. ‘They’ll use your family to lure you in, then, when they have _you_ , they’ll kill your family in front of you.’

Jimmy stared at Dean in shock. ‘You say that as if it’s a good thing,’ he said numbly.

Dean sighed as he pulled the car back onto the road. ‘When dealing with demons, yes. It is a good thing. They want you to suffer, and the best way to do that is to take what you love. If they did it out of sight, it just wouldn’t mean as much. You wouldn’t have had any chance of saving them. Oh, there may be some guilt, but nothin’ compared to if you were actually there. If you were just a little stronger. If you could have said the right thing… They want that shit going through your head. They want you feel more than helpless.’

Dean caught Sam’s expression out of the corner of his eye. He gave his brother a quick glance, trying to decipher what it meant. Pity…fear…sympathy… He quickly looked away and renewed his focus on the demon he was tracking. ‘Like I said, I know how demons work.’

.-.-.-.-.

They waited several blocks from the abandoned building that Dean had followed the demon to. When Sam’s phone rang, Dean reminded Jimmy that he needed to act as if he knew nothing. Jimmy nodded jerkily as he took the phone. He didn’t have to pretend for very long.

When Jimmy hung up the phone, he looked up at Dean with a lost expression. ‘They’re there. They’re alive…for now. I…I’m supposed to go alone.’

‘Don’t worry. We’ll be there,’ Sam said reassuringly. ‘You go in the front door, and we’ll sneak in.’

Jimmy stared at the phone in his hands. ‘What if something goes wrong? What if—’

Dean clapped a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. ‘I won’t let them die,’ he promised.

Jimmy looked into Dean’s eyes and saw nothing but the truth there. For the first time since meeting the young hunters, he felt trust. ‘A-all right.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean snuck along the length of the building, looking for his prey. When he caught sight of a demon patrolling the side entrance, he readied himself. He really didn’t want to, but he needed the extra energy. It had been so long since he had absorbed a demon’s essence. He exhaled and swiftly ran up behind the demon and placed his hand on the back of its head.

He fell to his knees as the dark energies wracked through his Grace. When he regained his composure, his senses automatically honed in on another demon just inside the door. One more wouldn’t hurt.

.-.-.-.-.

When Dean finally joined the party, he staggered into the main room, expecting to find everything perfectly fine. What he found was Jimmy lying in the dirt and bleeding out, Sam drinking the blood of a demon, and Castiel in the body of a little girl. He leaned against the wall as he cocked his head to the side. He hadn’t taken _that_ long, had he? Just a couple demons. Maybe more than a couple. He noticed Jimmy’s wife approaching Sam and pushed himself off the wall.

He let his power wash over the beings in the room. He flaunted his wings as all eyes turned to him. He sauntered up to one of the demons, too shocked to move. ‘Hi, there,’ he slurred.

‘Th-the demon-angel!’ the demon whispered as he took a step back.

Dean’s smirk turned to an ugly frown. He narrowed his eyes at the demon. ‘Don’t call me that,’ he hissed and slammed his hand against the demon’s forehead. The demon screamed in agony before Dean let it die. He looked up from the corpse to find Castiel staring in disapproval. He quickly looked away. ‘Sorry.’

‘Let’s just end this,’ said Castiel as he reached out to smite the demon next to him.

Dean found it off-putting to watch a little girl take down a demon more than twice her size. He heard Sam shout his name and turned to see Jimmy’s wife just behind him with a knife in her hand. She was frozen to the spot with thick, black smoke slowly pouring from her mouth.

Dean sobered slightly from his demon binge. This was more than the exorcism he had witnessed Sam perform. This was a demon _dying_. Sam was able to kill demons with his mind. He stared up at Sam in shock. When Sam finished, Dean was vaguely aware of Castiel addressing Jimmy. It wasn’t until he felt Castiel transfer his Grace, that he looked to the other angel.

Jimmy’s wife ran up to her daughter and protectively took her child in her arms. Castiel stepped around the mother and daughter, completely unaware of their stares.

‘Cas…,’ Dean said with a slight smile. He reached up to touch Castiel, but stopped at Castiel’s glare. ‘Cas? What happened?’

‘I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean,’ Castiel harshly replied. ‘I serve Heaven. I don’t serve Man, and I certainly don’t serve you.’

Dean blinked in confusion. He tentatively ran his Grace over Castiel’s and found flecks of anger and hatred burning brightly. He quickly pulled back and shut everything out. He stared at the ground, breathing heavily. He missed the sad look Castiel gave him.

‘I will say this: Thank you. For at least _trying_ … Though you did fall short in the end,’ Castiel said as he moved to walk past Dean.

Dean felt Castiel leave. He was having trouble breathing. It shouldn’t matter to him. Everything was as it should be. Seraphiel, ever the screw-up, abandoned by his Father and hated by all of Heaven. It shouldn’t matter what Castiel thought of him, but it did. Even if it was pointless, he sent a silent prayer to his Father, asking for some guidance.

Sam caught the lost look on Dean’s face. He tried to console his brother, but Dean’s eyes never left the blood drying on his lips.

Dean sighed. He knew Sam meant well. Hell, Dean had meant well plenty of times, but that didn’t make him right.

Dean mentally went over his current situation. Castiel was safe. Hated Dean, but at least he was alive. Dean could devote his attention to Sam. And Sam needed to be stopped.


	17. Chapter 17

When Sam and Dean entered their motel room, Dean threw himself onto one of the beds with a groan.

‘Dean…?’ Sam sat on the other bed and carefully watched Dean. Something was off about his brother. Dean had been silent since Castiel had left.

‘What?’

‘Are you…okay?’

Dean stared at the ceiling. He wasn’t okay. Castiel hated him. Sam was drinking demon blood, and Dean was high as fuck on demonic energy. He could feel the corruption seeping through his Grace. He wanted more. He’d have to suffer through withdrawal. Again. It hadn’t been fun the first time, but at least he didn’t have centuries of addiction behind him this time around. He glanced at Sam. He could worry about it later. Right now, Sam needed to be stopped before it was too late. There was still a bit of blood staining Sam’s shirt.

‘I’m fine, Sammy.’ He sighed as he sat up. He stood and headed towards the door.

‘Where are you going?’ Sam asked as he got up.

Dean stopped short of the door and faced Sam. He contemplated not telling Sam some of what was going on, but… Sam needed to know. To understand just how bad the demon blood was. He sighed heavily and looked away.

‘I sapped a few demons tonight,’ he said quietly. ‘You have no idea how much I want to hunt one down right now and just… I want to torture them, get their fear so high that I can taste it as I consume them… And not just demons, Sammy. Anything.’

He looked back to see Sam’s worried expression. ‘I gotta burn off some of this shit before I actually _do_ something I’ll regret.’

Sam nodded and sat back down. ‘Just…be careful…’

Dean nodded before vanishing.

.-.-.-.-.

‘Hey, Bobby—’

Bobby dropped the armful of books he had been carrying and spun to face the intruder. ‘Dean?! You…you idjit angel!’ He stalked up to Dean, fully prepared to punch him. ‘Use the damned door!’

Dean stepped back and raised his hands. ‘Sorry. But this is kind of an emergency.’

Bobby narrowed his eyes at Dean. ‘What sorta emergency?’ he asked.

Dean looked away. ‘It’s Sam…’

‘Somethin’ happen to him?’ Bobby looked at Dean in concern, placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

‘Not yet… He’s been drinkin’ demon blood, and it’s getting worse. I think… I think he’s addicted,’ Dean said quietly.

‘Addicted to demon blood?!’ Bobby shouted. ‘How the Hell did he manage that?!’

‘Doesn’t take much,’ Dean replied. ‘I’m ridin’ a damned good high of demon energy myself right now. Only reason I’m able to keep it together is the thought of Sammy…’

Bobby nodded. ‘So, what do we do?’ he asked.

‘The panic room needs to be prepped,’ Dean said, rubbing at his neck. ‘He needs to get it out of his system. Cold turkey’s the best way.’

‘Alright, I’ll get the panic room ready for Sam… Anything else?’

‘Panic room’s already taken care of,’ Dean commented distractedly.

‘What?’

Dean shrugged. ‘I got a lot of energy to burn right now.’ He looked at Bobby in worry. ‘I just need you to call Sam tomorrow morning. Tell him you found something big. Anything. Just give us an excuse to be here.’

‘And if he doesn’t believe me?’

‘He’ll believe you,’ Dean assured. ‘That’s why _you_ have to give him a reason to be here.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean’s plan worked like a charm. He and Bobby sat in the study in silence.

‘How long do you think this’ll take?’ Bobby asked.

Dean shrugged. He was already feeling the effects of his own withdrawal.

‘You okay there, boy?’

Dean shook his head. ‘I really wanna let Sam out, let him drink all the blood he wants, then drain his victim myself,’ he muttered.

Bobby inhaled sharply at the admission. ‘Do I need to lock you up, too?’

Dean looked up at Bobby. ‘Nah. I’ve done this before. Sucks…but I can get through it.’

‘Is there… I dunno… Demon Nicorette or something?’

Dean laughed as he leaned back. ‘I guess I could load up on ghosts and vamps and stuff…’

‘Then why don’t ya’?’ Bobby asked.

Dean bit his lip. ‘Ghosts leave me…noticeably high. Everything else… Well, someone would notice if a bunch of monsters went missing. And it would be a Hell of a lot of them to make up for one demon.’

‘Right. So, no Nicorette.’

Dean shook his head and smiled. ‘No Nicorette, no patch, no nothin’.’

.-.-.-.-.

Sam stared at the ceiling. He was hallucinating. He tried to ignore the visions, but they kept coming, kept saying the right things, the things that hurt him most. He turned his head away from the latest one to find Dean leaning against the door.

‘Dean!’

Dean cocked his head to the side as he regarded Sam. ‘You’re so helpless, Sammy. All of you are, really.’

Sam frowned as Dean pushed off the door and came closer.

‘You humans... You have no power. No ability to help yourselves,’ Dean said and kneeled next to Sam. He stroked Sam’s cheek almost lovingly. ‘That’s why you couldn’t save her. Poor Jesse…’ Dean shook his head mournfully. ‘I suppose _I_ could have saved her, but…she was only human. Nothing special. Nothing worth saving. Even your mother. Sweet, beautiful Mary. Dead. Could have saved her. Could have let you grown up with a normal life. Didn’t.’

Dean grinned at Sam. ‘Such a long list, isn’t it? All the ones I could have saved, but didn’t bother with. How many hunts did we go on where there could have been no casualties? If I had just said one word?’

Sam blinked and looked away. It wasn’t Dean. I _couldn’t_ be Dean. ‘You had your reasons,’ Sam spat out.

Dean nodded. ‘Yeah… Selfish, really. What’s one human life compared to me not being found out?’ Dean looked away in thought. ‘Well…more like a couple hundred, but hey! No one knows! That’s a good thing, right?’

Sam closed his eyes tightly.

‘You wanna know the _real_ reason I’ve got you locked up? Hm?’ Dean leaned closer. ‘I like you powerless. I like being the one in charge. I may not be able to command the armies of Heaven anymore, but I sure as Hell can push a few humans around. That’s why I need you off the demon blood, Sammy. I don’t do well with competition.’

‘You’re not real!’

‘Maybe, maybe not. But you know it’s true. Just wait until Bobby’s no longer useful. Should I just let him die, or should I kill him myself?’ Dean asked. ‘Y’know, save everyone the trouble.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean pressed his forehead against the fridge. One demon… Just one. Not two or three. Just enough to tide him over until Sam was better. He groaned lowly as his Grace hummed for more. He spread his wings, casting shadows about the kitchen. No. He could do this. He could last a little longer. Why couldn’t he stop at just one?

He giggled to himself. ‘You can never stop at just one,’ he mumbled.

‘What’s that?’ Bobby asked as he entered the kitchen.

Dean didn’t bother moving from his position. ‘Demons. Fucking potato chips of the supernatural world.’

Bobby slowly approached Dean. ‘Sam’s at another lull…’

‘I’m gonna get some chips,’ Dean declared, straightening.

‘Dean…’

‘I’m not gonna eat a fuckin’ demon, Bobby,’ Dean said, facing Bobby. ‘But I need some sorta vice right now. I’m getting chips, pie, beer, pretzels, dip, pie, and some cookie dough.’

Bobby stared at Dean. ‘I could go get it,’ he offered.

‘I’ll be fine. There’s no demons around, and I can make it to the store quicker than you.’

Bobby huffed but backed off. ‘Fine. But be quick about it.’

Dean nodded happily and took off for the nearest convenience store.


	18. Chapter 18

Dean landed behind the convenience store with a small stumble. He tucked his wings away and straightened his coat self-consciously.  He rounded the corner and froze. He could feel a demon lurking nearby. No! He was here for junk food, not…junk food. He braced himself against the wall, feeling the demon coming closer. He was better than this. He could get past this. He could…

‘Winchester,’ the demon growled as he showed up behind Dean.

Dean clenched his eyes shut, trying to ignore the pulsating want running through his Grace. He dragged his nails against the brick wall. ‘Fuck off.’

The demon laughed as he approached Dean. ‘Where’s baby brother?’ he asked.

Dean rounded on the demon and slammed his hand against its chest. ‘Not here.’ He had meant to kill it, but he had drained it, greedily enjoying the fresh spike of darkness. He pulled his hand back in shock. ‘Shit!’

He quickly looked around and cast his senses about to see if there was anything else in the area. Nothing. Not even an evil termite. He shuddered as he tried to take a calming breath. He should have gone somewhere else. Of course there would be demons camping out at the places the Winchesters frequented. He couldn’t think straight. He punched at the wall in frustration. He should have just left when he had first sensed the demon.

He looked down at the corpse and waved his hand. The body quickly dissolved into dust. This was okay. It was just a minor setback. One little demon. Nothing big. Nothing to worry about. Chips. He had to get chips. Dean hurried into the store and filled a basket with chips and pie.

After making his purchase, he stood outside and stared at the sky. ‘Why do you hate me so much?’ he asked. ‘Why would you let that happen?!’ He kicked at the ground before heading out of sight. He extended his wings and almost took off, but he felt an angel closing in on him. He growled in frustration. He just couldn’t catch a break, could he? He quickly hid his wings and backed against the wall. He hoped they hadn’t sensed him.

Castiel appeared in front of Dean.

Dean averted his eyes, not wanting to face Castiel after what he had just done. ‘What do you want, Castiel?’ he asked quietly. He wanted desperately to touch Castiel’s Grace, but refrained.

Castiel stared at Dean. He knew the other angel had just absorbed a demon, but he couldn’t feel any trace of it. No trace of the angel he had come to know and love. If he hadn’t known better, he would have thought Dean was just a normal human. It was the same as when they’d first met. He reached out to Dean’s Grace, but couldn’t find it, it was locked away so deep. He sighed to himself. He may as well get this over with.

‘We need you to swear yourself to Heaven,’ he eventually replied.

Dean glanced up at Castiel. ‘Me? Why?’

‘You are the one to end this.’

‘What? Kill Lilith? Stop her from summoning up Lucifer?’

Castiel’s expression did not change.

‘Why me, huh? Sammy can kill demons with his power now,’ Dean said. ‘Why not have him do it?’

‘The amount of blood required for him to kill Lilith would change your brother forever, Dean,’ Castiel replied.

Dean nodded. ‘Figures. He’d turn out like me, right?’

Castiel looked at Dean sadly. ‘Possibly worse,’ he admitted.

Dean closed his eyes and breathed slowly.

‘There’s no reason this would have to come to pass, Dean,’ Castiel said. ‘We believe it’s _you_ , Dean. Not your brother. The only question for us is whether you’re willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it.’

Dean slowly looked at Castiel. ‘So it’s either Sam or me…? If I do this… Sammy doesn’t have to?’

‘If it gives you comfort to see it that way….’

Dean leaned his head back against the wall. A silent prayer to God for guidance went unanswered. ‘Fine. I’m in.’

‘Do you give yourself wholly to the service of God and His angels?’

Dean scoffed and smiled grimly. ‘Yeah….exactly.’

‘Say it,’ Castiel softly demanded.

Dean frowned and stared at Castiel in confusion. He had trouble reading Castiel’s expression. Anticipation. Worry. Fear… ‘…I give myself over wholly to serve _God_ …and you guys,’ he said.

‘You swear to follow His will and His word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father’s?’

Dean stiffened. Why would Castiel phrase it that way? It was a script. Castiel was working off a fucking script. He narrowed his eyes and glared. ‘Yes,’ he replied. If Castiel was going to act like that, play the part of the obedient angel, then he’d play his own part. ‘I swear.’

Castiel nodded slightly at Dean, the sadness more than evident in his eyes.

‘Now, what?’ Dean asked.

‘Now, you wait,’ Castiel replied. ‘And we call on you when it’s time…’

Dean looked at the ground. What had he just agreed to? When he looked back up, Castiel was gone. He breathed deeply before he flew back to Bobby’s.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean slowed and landed just outside the house. Something wasn’t right. He scanned everything, but still couldn’t place what was off. It was as if a powerful being had just been there, but had covered their tracks. Thoroughly. Dean carefully made his way towards the house and through the front door. He looked around the entryway, not finding anything that would give him a clue.

‘Bobby?’ he called out, fearing the worst.

There was no answer. He combed the immediate area with his senses. He felt one human presence around the back of the house. He then reached out for the basement. It was empty. ‘No…’ He dropped the store bag to the floor and ran downstairs. Nothing. The door was wide open, and the devil’s traps were broken.

Dean stopped and stared at the open door. ‘How…? Who…?! Bobby!’ He rushed back up the stairs and out the back door. He found Bobby unconscious on the ground. ‘Bobby!’ He shook the older man and sent a soft burst of the cleanest energy he could manage into Bobby. Just enough to wake him up.

‘What—’

‘Sam’s gone! What happened?!’

‘He got out somehow,’ Bobby grumbled as Dean helped him up. ‘Tried to make him stay, but he rammed my gun into my head.’ He hissed has he touched the growing bruise.

‘Something busted up the devil’s traps,’ Dean said.

‘Demons?’ Bobby asked.

‘Probably Ruby,’ Dean bit out in disgust.

‘How’d she touch the door?’

Dean shrugged.  Whatever had happened, they had waited for Dean to leave. He shouldn’t have left. Draining the demon was bad enough, but losing Sam? ‘I have to find him.’

Bobby eyed the rattling windows of the nearby junkers. ‘Boy, you need to calm down.’

‘Calm down?! Sammy’s hooked on fucking demon blood and missing, and you want me to _calm down_?!’

Bobby slapped Dean. ‘Yes!’

Dean stepped back and stared at Bobby. ‘Did you just _slap_ me?’ he asked in disbelief.

‘And I’ll do it again if ya’ don’t calm down this instant!’

Dean let out small laugh and shook his head.

‘Now, then. Where do you think Sam headed?’ Bobby asked.

.-.-.-.-.

Castiel stared out at the city lights from his position on the rooftop. Why was he doing this? He wanted to tell Dean everything that was going on, but he couldn’t. He had promised. He had promised _Dean_ that he would remain in Heaven. To not Fall. He closed his eyes as he waited. He opened them when he felt Anna’s arrival. He slowly turned to face her.

‘What did you do?’ she asked.

‘You shouldn’t have come, Anna,’ Castiel replied. Part of him hoped she would get the hint and leave.

‘Why would you let out Sam Winchester?’

‘Those were my orders.’

‘ _Orders_? Cas…you saw him,’ she said, her voice urgent. ‘He’s drinking _demon blood_! It’s so much worse than we thought. Dean was trying to stop him!’

Castiel looked away as two angels appeared behind Anna. ‘You really shouldn’t have come…’

Anna gasped as she was detained. She gave Castiel one last plea along her Grace before she was dragged away.

Castiel watched in silence then turned back to the cityscape. He had promised.

.-.-.-.-.

They had found a lead on Sam’s location. Dean pulled up to hotel then parked a few blocks away. He flew to the hotel and landed in the parking lot. He had managed to stick the landing, but couldn’t afford to celebrate.

There were a few demons lingering around the premises. Well, he was already having a shit week, he may as well make it worse. He made quick work of the demons, sucking up their lives, and enjoying every bit of it. After he had finished, he made his way towards the room with a demon and a human.

The door opened, and he hid behind the corner. Sam had left the room, leaving Ruby. Dean grinned to himself. Well, this was going to be easy. He pulled out the demon knife and quietly opened the door. He slowly edged towards Ruby, knife raised.

Ruby heard a noise and turned, expecting to find Sam. She raised her arm just in time to deflect the knife. Her eyes caught the blood-red wings behind Dean. ‘W-we’re on the same side! Lilith—’ she pleaded, narrowly missing another blow from the knife. ‘Seraphiel! Please, we can work together!’

‘What makes you think I’m on your side, you fucking bitch?’ Dean jumped at Ruby. He quickly overpowered her and grinned as he raised the knife.

‘No! Let her go!’ Sam shouted as he pulled Dean away and took the knife. He shoved Dean away, and Dean caught himself on the bed. ‘Just take it easy.’ He cocked his head to the side as he stared at his brother. There was something obviously different about Dean. Something much darker.

‘Sam,’ Ruby said, grabbing Sam’s sleeve, ‘that’s not Dean.’ Her eyes flicked to Dean as she hid behind Sam.

Sam glanced at Ruby in confusion. ‘What?’

Dean held out his arms. ‘Seraphiel,’ he announced, unable to keep the bitterness from his voice. ‘At your service.’

Sam looked back at Dean. He tried to figure out just what Dean was up to, and why he felt like a demon. ‘Why are you here?’

‘It’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m here to gank that bitch,’ Dean replied, pointing at Ruby.

‘Ruby,’ Sam said, pushing her back slightly, ‘get out of here.’

‘She’s not going anywhere!’ Dean shouted as he stepped forward. He stared at Sam, unable to grasp how a lowly demon had managed to gain his brother’s trust so easily.

Ruby saw her chance and fled while Seraphiel was distracted.

‘She’s poison, Sam!’ Dean cried out.

‘It’s not what you think, Dean,’ Sam replied, trying to reason with Dean.

‘Look what she did to you!’ Dean pleaded. ‘She up and vanishes, weeks at a time, leaving you cracking out for another hit!’

‘She was _looking_ for _Lilith_!’

Dean shook his head. ‘That’s French for “manipulating your ass ten ways from Sunday.” I’m damned certain she knew where Lilith was the whole time.’

‘You’re _wrong_ , Dean,’ Sam insisted.

‘Sam, you’re lying to yourself,’ Dean said, shaking his head. ‘I just...I want you to be okay. You would do the same for me. You _know_ you would.’

‘Just listen.’ Sam tossed the knife he held onto the bed, trying to show Dean he was willing to reason with him. ‘Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to Lilith. Come with us, Dean. We’ll do this together.’

‘That sounds great. As long as it’s you and me. Demon bitch is a deal breaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now. Tell ya’ what: You drink her blood, I’ll sap her dry,’ Dean suggested. It scared him how much he was willing to carry out that statement.

‘I can’t,’ Sam said quietly. ‘Dean, I _need_ her—to help me kill Lilith.’

Dean turned away. Why couldn’t Sam see it? Why couldn’t he understand?

‘I know you can’t wrap your head around it,’ Sam said, breaking off Dean’s thoughts. ‘But, maybe, one day…you’ll understand. I’m the only one who can do this, Dean.’

Dean stopped and turned to face Sam. ‘No,’ he replied, ‘you’re _not_ the one who’s gonna do this.’

‘Right. That’s right. I forgot,’ Sam replied patronizingly. ‘The angels think it’s _you_. _You’re_ going to end the apocalypse all by yourself.’

‘You don’t think I can?’

‘No. You can’t. You’re not strong enough.’

Dean bristled. ‘What makes you think I’m not strong enough?’

‘Please… You couldn’t handle Alastair. What makes you think you can take care of Lilith?’ Sam asked.

‘And who the Hell are _you_?’ Dean snapped.

‘I’m being practical here,’ Sam calmly replied. ‘I’m doing what needs to be done.’

‘Yeah? You’re not gonna do a single damn thing.’

‘Stop bossing me around, Dean!’ Sam took a breath. He needed to remain calm. To remain in control. ‘Look. My whole life, you take the wheel…you call the shots. And I trust you, because you…you’re my brother. Now, I am asking you, for once…trust _me_.’ He stared pleadingly at Dean, hoping to get through.

‘No. You don’t know what you’re doing, Sam,’ Dean said.

‘Yes, I _do!_ ’ Sam insisted.

‘Then that’s worse!’

‘Why? Look, I’m telling you—’

‘Because it’s not something that you’re _doing_!’ Dean pointed out. ‘If you actually _know_ what you’re doing, then it…it’s what you _are_! It means…’ Dean trailed off. His heart broke for Sam. He had been there. He still was there… Corrupted, addicted, thinking he knew what was best…

‘What?’ Sam prompted.

‘No…’

‘Say it.’

‘…It means you’re a monster,’ Dean quietly replied. He didn’t get the chance to add ‘like me’ before Sam punched him hard. Dean stumbled back. The backs of his knees hit the bed, and he lost his footing and fell to the floor. Dean slowly stood, giving Sam an even stare. He punched Sam back.

Sam grabbed at Dean and threw him through a decorative wall. He stared down at Dean. He was so angry at him. It was a long shot, but Dean did feel rather demonic at the moment. He raised his hand and concentrated.

Dean writhed in pain on the floor.

Sam had trouble focusing on the demonic energies coming from Dean. They kept flitting about, and they were not consistent. It was nothing like a normal demon. He wondered if Lilith would feel like that. He finally let up as Dean let out a broken sob.

‘You’re not my brother,’ Sam hissed. ‘You don’t know me. You never did. And you never will.’ He gave Dean one final look before heading for the door.

Dean gasped for air, helpless to stop Sam. ‘You walk out that door…don’t you _ever_ come back.’

Sam paused.

Dean felt relief. It was quickly replaced by absolute despair as Sam opened the door and left.


	19. Chapter 19

They were getting closer to finding Lillith. They already had the demon that would lead them to Lillith’s location in their grasp, so it was only a matter of time. Sam paced back and forth. He deeply regretted what he had done. Using his power on Dean… Leaving him, broken and alone. But he had to. He was protecting Dean. Keeping him on the right track. Keeping the temptation of Lucifer away.

He had already seen Dean slip, munching on demons and their energy. He knew Dean would do the same for him. Was actually trying to do the same. But Lucifer… Dean was a fool if he thought he managed to keep the longing out of his voce whenever he spoke of the fallen angel.

What Sam was doing was right. Dean had already done so much for him, protected him from so much. It was time Sam returned the favor. He sighed as he entered the house he and Ruby had holed up in.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean sat on the floor where Sam had left him. He hadn’t moved from the spot. He stared ahead, not sure of what to do. He had told Sam to never come back. Sam hated him.

Sam was right. They weren’t brothers. No matter how much he believed it, how much he wished it, he was Seraphiel, not Dean.

He glanced up when he felt Castiel’s approach. He sighed and tucked his wings away, hid his Grace. He stared up miserably at Castiel when the angel appeared.

Castiel’s breath caught at the sight of Dean. ‘Dean…’

Dean looked away. ‘What do you want?’ he asked quietly. He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing as he felt himself being transported. When he opened them, he found himself in an ornately decorated room. He slowly pulled himself up and looked around. There was so much angelic power, he could almost pretend he was in Heaven, but it was all fake.

‘It’s almost time,’ Castiel said before vanishing.

Dean stared at the floor. Time…time for what? For him to face Lilith? To be properly punished because he couldn’t stop Sam? For God to finally end his suffering? He prayed for the last. He wanted it to all be over with.

He glanced at the table in the center of the room as a wave a power pulsed through. A platter piled high with burgers and a bowl of chilled beers had appeared. He reached out and picked up a beer, examining the label. It was one of his favorites. They were trying to win his favor? Was this a last meal? Were they expecting him to die?

‘Hello, Dean,’ an unfamiliar voice greeted. ‘You’re looking fit.’

Dean turned to face the pair of angels that had appeared. He recognized Zachariah’s wings. Dean took a step back, fear creeping up his spine. Zachariah had been right in front during his banishment. One of the ones to rip into his wings. His wings throbbed from the reminder.

‘W-what is this?’ Dean asked, trying to remain calm. ‘Where the hell am I?’

‘Call it a…“greenroom,”’ Zachariah replied as he walked up to Dean. ‘We’re closing in on the grand finale, here. We want to keep you safe before showtime.’

Dean stared at Zachariah, forcing himself to stand his ground. He felt his stomach turn as Zachariah offered a burger. When he claimed he wasn’t hungry, the angel tried to appease him with television characters. Dean didn’t know what to think. They were trying to keep him safe. Safe from what?

‘No…uh… I wanna know what the game plan is,’ he said.

‘Let _us_ worry about that,’ Zachariah replied. ‘We want you…focused…relaxed.’

‘Well, I’m about to be pissed and leaving, so start talking, Chuckles,’ Dean said. He was having trouble looking at Zachariah. Every time he caught sight of Zachariah’s wings, he got another flash of the angel looming over him, gleefully tearing into his wings.

Zachariah explained how the seal had fallen, and when Dean replied with his default sarcasm, Zachariah rounded on him and aimed low, pointing out how Dean had started it all.

Dean looked away. He had done more than start it. It went back much further than that. He probably could have stopped it all. Stopped Lucifer from rebelling, stopped his Fall. He tuned back in as Zachariah explained how Lilith would be the one to break the final seal. He couldn’t believe that the angels had no idea where it would happen. They knew when. Why not where? If he was supposed to stop her, then why weren’t they telling him anything?

He glared when Zachariah told him to ‘have faith.’ His anger spiked at those words. ‘What, in you?’ he scoffed. ‘Give me one good reason why I should.’

‘Because you swore your obedience,’ Zachariah replied as he closed in on Dean. ‘So obey.’

Dean looked past Zachariah at Castiel. He frowned as Castiel looked away, unable to meet his eyes. He looked back at Zachariah before turning away. He felt the angels leave and breathed a sigh of relief. He was quite proud of himself for not completely breaking down into a quivering mess in the corner like he had wanted to.

He paced the room, wondering what he should do. Clearly, Castiel had yet to say anything to his superiors about Seraphiel. For that, Dean was thankful. But why?

He sighed as he pulled out his phone. He had a signal. That was a good sign. Maybe he could get ahold of Sam. See if he could get Sam to back off. To at least wait until there was more to go on. The moment he began speaking, he could feel it. Angelic power tampering with his message. He continued regardless, not wanting to give himself away. He sighed as he hung up the phone. Sam would never get his message. He was on lockdown. He eyed the door for a moment, knowing it would be useless to try.

He spent his time pacing back and forth, wondering what Sam was doing. Where he was. What sort of lies Ruby was spouting into his ear. He was having trouble telling how much time had passed. He was angry. Annoyed. Bored.

He walked up to a small statuette of a pretty angel. As he tipped it over, he could think of one pretty angel he’d like to push off the side of a building. The shattered figure brought him a small bit of satisfaction.

Castiel appeared behind Dean. ‘You asked to see me?’ he said, looking at the remnants of the statuette. He looked up in time to see Dean roll his eyes.

Dean stuttered. He hadn’t expected Castiel to show up because of his thoughts. But since Castiel was there, he may as well see if he could get some use out of the angel. ‘Yeah… Listen, I uh… I-I need something…’

‘Anything you wish.’

Dean’s heart and hope rose at the words. Had Castiel changed his mind? Was he going to help Dean? ‘I need you to take me to see Sam.’

‘Why?’

‘There’s something I gotta talk to him about,’ Dean replied.

‘What’s that?’

Dean’s hopes crashed. Castiel wasn’t there to help him. ‘The B.M. I took this morning,’ he sarcastically lashed out. ‘What’s it to you? Just make it snappy.’

‘I don’t think that’s wise,’ Castiel replied as he looked around uncomfortably.

‘Well, I didn’t ask for your opinion,’ Dean growled. He could always just leave. He didn’t need Castiel’s help. He could eventually track Sam down. Castiel must have known what was going through Dean’s head, for he shook his head slightly.

‘Have you forgotten what happened the last time you met?’

‘No. That’s the whole point,’ Dean pleaded. He desperately wanted Castiel back on his side. By his side. ‘Listen, I’m gonna do whatever you mooks want, okay? I just need to tie up this one thing. Five minutes. That’s all I need.’

‘No.’

Dean paused. ‘What do you mean…no? Are you saying that I’m trapped here?’ he asked. He knew the answer. He just wanted to hear Castiel say it.

‘You can go wherever you want.’

Dean glared at Castiel. ‘Super. I want to go see Sam.’

‘Except there,’ Castiel said. Why did Dean have to push the subject?

‘I want to take a walk.’

‘Fine. I’ll go with you.’ Castiel would have actually liked to have gone on a walk with Dean. He would have enjoyed it, had the circumstances been different.

‘Alone.’

‘No.’

‘You know what?’ Dean said as threw a final glare at Castiel. ‘Screw this noise. I’m out of here.’ He walked past Castiel and could already feel the pulse of energy warping the room.

‘Through what door?’

Dean sighed as the door melted into the wall, leaving behind a small table and candles. He knew it would happen. He knew they weren’t going to let him leave. But he had to show them. Show them that he wouldn’t just roll over. And he could feel he was being watched.

If he were to leave, then it would all be over. He could feel just how many angels were stationed right outside the room. He knew he could outfly them. At least, for a short time before his wings gave out. With only two wings, he wasn’t as good as he used to be. He wondered if he would be able to zip past and get far enough to evade detection. He did a quick sweep, and sighed heavily. There were too many. And they were on high alert.

He glanced around the room and caught sight of one of the heavy candlesticks. He picked it up, weighing it in his hand. He popped the candle off, imagining what it would be like to bash in Zachariah’s skull.

He eyed one of the walls. If they wanted stupid human, then he’d give them stupid human. He raised the candlestick and brought it down against the wall. A few hits, and he had made a sizable dent. He was surprised they had actually let him get that far. He halted mid-stroke as the wall healed.

He felt Zachariah’s return. He dropped the candlestick to the floor. ‘Son of a bitch.’

‘Quit flinging feces like a howler monkey, would you? It’s unbecoming,’ Zachariah said.

Dean couldn’t stand the smug look on Zachariah’s face. ‘Let me out of here,’ he ground out as he advanced on the angel.

‘Like I told you: too dangerous out there,’ Zachariah replied. ‘Demons on the prowl.’

‘I’ve been getting my ass kicked all year,’ Dean pointed out. It wasn’t about his safety. ‘ _Now_ you’re sweating my safety? You’re lying. I wanna see my brother.’

Zachariah’s slightly smug smile never left his face. ‘That’s…ill-advised.’

Dean growled in frustration. Why did everyone have to beat around the bush?! Why couldn’t they just come out and say what they were planning? ‘You know, I am so sick of your crap riddles, and your smug, fat face. What the hell is going on, huh? Why can’t I see Sam? And how am I gonna ice Lilith?’ he questioned.

‘You’re not,’ Zachariah replied, ‘going to ice Lilith.’

‘What?’ Dean’s eyes narrowed. If the plan wasn’t for him to stop Lilith and the apocalypse… He felt his stomach drop as Zachariah told him what would happen. How Lilith would break the seal. Why would Heaven _let_ the apocalypse happen? Why would _God_ let it happen?!

He had to grab the table for support. Zachariah had to be wrong. God wouldn’t let it happen. Wouldn’t let his beloved creations suffer something so devastating. He pointed out Sam was still out there. That _he_ could stop Lilith. The look Zachariah gave him made him sick to his stomach.

He listened as Zachariah spoke of him having a destiny, being chosen. Dean could tell where the conversation was going. Surely, God wouldn’t have let it gone this far? So far that Lucifer and Michael would need their vessels? Not after Dean had swiped Michael’s vessel. There was _no vessel_. An angel needed permission! A corpse couldn’t give permission. Even if Dean left the vessel, Michael wouldn’t be able to possess it. It was far too late shove a soul in it. And even if Dean gave his permission, an angel couldn’t possess another angel. Zachariah hadn’t said anything about vessels just yet, but Dean knew.

‘Tell me something,’ he said, watching Zachariah saunter away. He had to know. ‘Where’s God in all this?’

‘God?’ Zachariah repeated. ‘God has left the building.’

Dean stared in shock. He felt no deceit coming from Zachariah, no tells from his wings. Dean barely managed to stumble into a chair. God was gone.

.-.-.-.-.

Castiel appeared in the room. He was surprised to find Dean sitting at the table. ‘Dean…’ He tilted his head and took in what he saw. Dean sat, slumped in the chair, body completely relaxed, and staring ahead. He approached Dean and lightly touched his shoulder. ‘Dean?’

When Dean gave no reaction, Castiel reached out with his Grace, trying to seek out Dean. He could feel him, barely. Dean was devastated, lost. Castiel tried to go deeper, but Dean shut him out.

Dean looked up as Castiel, expressionless. ‘Go away,’ he said then looked away.

‘Dean…’

Dean shook his head. ‘It doesn’t matter. Can’t you see it’s all over? Everything’s all fucked up, and it’s my fault. I’ve killed us all, and God’s not here to fix it this time.’

Castiel stared at Dean. He didn’t know what he could say. What he could do.

‘Just…just go. Please,’ Dean whispered, closing his eyes.

Castiel nodded and left. He stood just outside the room. Looking around at his brothers and sisters that stood guard, he wondered why he was doing it. Why he was going along with the orders. God was missing. Was what they were doing right? Dean had looked so broken. More so than how Castiel had found him at the hotel.

He sighed, unsure of what to do. He wanted to help Dean. Help him to stop the apocalypse. But if he were to do that, then he would be breaking his promise to Dean. He closed his eyes as he turned away from the room. Maybe…maybe some promises were meant to be broken.

He glanced up as one of his brothers passed in front of him. A plan was forming in his mind, and his survival looked dim. But, hopefully, Dean and Sam would come out on top.

He hoped Dean would forgive him.


	20. Chapter 20

Castiel waited. He didn’t want his brothers and sisters to suspect anything. Not until it was too late. Once he felt enough time had passed, he casually reentered the room. Dean was in the same position he had left him.

Castiel took a breath and hoped he was making the right decision.

Dean gasped as he was thrown against the wall, a hand covering his mouth. He stared, wide-eyed at his attacker. He blinked in confusion when he recognized Castiel. He nodded as Castiel’s Grace brushed against him, requesting silence.

He had no idea what was going on. He watched in fascination as Castiel pulled out the demon knife and sliced into his arm. He moved out of the way as Castiel began to draw a spell onto the wall. It finally clicked. Castiel was helping him! And why the Hell hadn’t _he_ thought to use the banishment spell?!

‘Brace yourself,’ Castiel warned.

Dean looked up as Zachariah appeared, wings spread out aggressively.

‘Castiel, do you mind explaining just what the Hell you’re doing?!‘ Zachariah advanced on them and brought his arms up as Castiel slammed his hand against the freshly painted sigil.

Dean fought against the spell. It was a little easier than the last time, but he still ended up collapsing against Castiel when it had passed. He wiped at the blood dripping from his nose and stared up at Castiel, dazed. ‘Cas… What are you doing? Why are you doing this?’ he asked.

Castiel helped Dean to stand upright and looked away. ‘I’m sorry, Dean…,’ he muttered. ‘I can’t keep my promise.’

‘Promise?’

Castiel looked back up at Dean. ‘To not Fall,’ he replied. ‘This may be Heaven’s plan, but…it’s not right.’ He shook his head as he turned away. ‘I’m sorry.’

Dean rested a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. ‘Hey… It’s…okay. I mean, Falling…it’s not so bad,’ he lied.

Castiel glanced at Dean and forced a smile. ‘I’m sure it will be bearable with you near me.’

Dean took a deep breath. ‘Okay… So, uh… Where’s Sam?’

‘I don’t know.’

Dean stared at Castiel. ‘Seriously? You’re tapped into Heaven. You should know!’

Castiel shrugged his shoulders helplessly. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘But his location is hidden from me.’

Dean rubbed his eyes in frustration and began pacing. ‘Shit… Wait!’ He turned to Castiel. ‘Chuck! The prophet! _He’ll_ know where Sam is.’

Castiel looked at Dean uncertainly. ‘Dean… If you go now, it will be seen as a threat to the prophet,’ Castiel explained. ‘We are on the verge of the apocalypse, Heaven will want everything to go according to plan, and—‘

‘Whoever got stuck on prophet duty will come after me. I can handle them,’ Dean said.

‘It’s Raphael.’

‘ _Raphael_ got prophet duty?’ Dean said with a laugh. ‘Who’d he piss off?’

‘It is an honor—‘

Dean rolled his eyes. ‘Okay, okay. So we pop in and pop right back out. No big deal.’

Castiel felt doubtful about Dean’s plan, but followed him nonetheless.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean pulled the phone from Chuck’s hand. ‘He’ll call you back,’ he said and hung up the phone. He wrapped an arm around Chuck. ‘Hey, Chuck… I was under the impression that I told you to call me if something came up.’

‘Um…’

‘Where’s Sam?’

‘You’re not supposed to be here!’ Chuck looked from Dean to Castiel. ‘You can’t be here!’

‘Yeah, I have this bad habit of doing things I’m not supposed to,’ Dean replied. He could feel a powerful angel quickly approaching. ‘Now, where is he?’

‘You have to leave!’ Chuck argued.

‘Dean…’ Castiel looked to where he could feel Raphael coming from.

‘I know!’ He forced Chuck to face him and gave him a little shake. ‘Please! Where is he?! I have to stop this. You’re the prophet, you should know it won’t go down as planned!’

Chuck stared up at Dean and wordlessly pointed to his messy desk. ‘I-I already wrote it down…,’ he said. ‘You can’t change it!’

Dean tore through the papers until he found what he was looking for. ‘A _convent_?! Figures.’ He grabbed Castiel by the arm. ‘C’mon!’

Castiel shook his head. ‘It’s too late,’ he said. ‘Go. I’ll distract him.’

Dean stared at Castiel in shock. ‘W-what? Cas…he’ll _kill_ you!’

Castiel nodded and looked away. ‘I know.’

Dean reached out for Castiel’s Grace. Instead of fear, he found a serene calm. He pulled Castiel into a tight hug and kissed him, flooding him with his Grace.

Castiel gasped for breath when Dean pulled back, feeling woozy from the tainted energies Dean radiated. ‘Go!’ he shouted, pushing Dean away.

‘If you get the chance, _run_! Fly as far and as fast as you can,’ Dean said before disappearing.

Castiel nodded and turned to stare out the window, waiting for Raphael’s arrival. He looked down at Chuck as a hand rested on his shoulder.

‘I’m sure it’ll all work out,’ Chuck said quietly.

Castiel looked back to the window. ‘…As long as Dean makes it. That’s all that matters,’ he confided.

The light from outside grew brighter.

‘…So…you like him?’

Castiel nodded. ‘Enough to Fall and die,’ he replied. ‘To me, he is worth it.’ He closed his eyes and prepared himself.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean appeared outside the old convent. He could only feel two demons inside the building, and he had a pretty good guess as to which two they were. He entered the building and carefully made his way to the small chapel within. He could already feel Lucifer’s Grace poking through.

He didn’t bother hiding his wings, ready to grab Sam and fly at a moment’s notice. He turned down a corridor and found what he was looking for. He ran towards the open door. ‘Sam!’

Sam turned in time see Dean. He frowned in confusion as he could just make out the tattered, dark red wings behind his brother. He flinched as the doors slammed shut then turned his attention back to Lilith.

Dean pounded against the doors. He could feel Lilith’s power keeping him from getting past. He shouted and screamed in frustration. He was too late. He pressed his forehead against the door, feeling Lilith’s power fade, quickly replaced by Lucifer’s. He backed away from the door, staring. He tentatively reached out with his Grace, lightly touching Lucifer’s. He felt a jolt of happiness come from Lucifer.

The doors opened, and Dean rushed in, finding Ruby gloating.

‘And guess who’s coming to dinner?’ Ruby laughed.

‘Me!’

Ruby spun around and screamed as Dean punched her in the stomach. She stared in shock as she felt her life slowly drain away. ‘B-but… Lucifer…’

Dean pulled his hand back and looked to the hole forming in the ground.

Sam stared at Dean. He could no longer see the torn wings, and he didn’t think ever wanted to again. ‘D-dean?’ He saw the look of longing on Dean’s face, and it hit him. Dean was waiting for Lucifer’s return. ‘Dean!’ he shouted as he grabbed his brother and shook him, hard.

Dean looked up at Sam, lost and alone. Lucifer was reaching out to him, making such wonderful promises of how they would never be apart. ‘S-Sam…’

‘We have to go!’ Sam pulled on Dean’s arm. ‘Please, Dean! He doesn’t care about you! Don’t you think he would have said something? Made some effort to contact you before now?!’

Dean clenched his eyes shut and took a shuddering breath before nodding. Sam had point. He shut out Lucifer and felt Lucifer’s anger rise. He could tell the fallen angel was about to lash out, so he grabbed Sam and hoped he’d be able to get them far enough away.

As Dean took off, he saw a warm, guiding light. He didn’t know which way to go, and it didn’t feel like Lucifer, so he followed it, landing safely on a passing plane.

Sam looked around in surprise. He jumped when Dean grabbed his arm and squeezed hard. ‘Dean? Are you all right?’ he asked quietly.

Dean violently shook his head. Between Lucifer calling out to him and being stuck on a plane, he was not all right. He had tried repeatedly to leave the plane, but something was keeping him there. He didn’t think it was Lucifer. He wondered if it was God. But God was uninvolved, right?


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue blatantly ripped from S05E01.

The first thing Dean noticed upon entering Chuck’s house was the blood. He could just barely make out small traces of Raphael’s Grace lingering. He hoped for the best, but feared the worst. Either way, Castiel was not there. He could feel Chuck’s presence, so he hoped the prophet knew where Castiel had got to.

He looked up from the mess on the floor when he heard Sam’s pained cry. He tried not to laugh at the sight of Chuck brandishing a plunger. Chuck muttered a quick apology, and stared.

‘So, you guys are…you’re okay?’ Chuck asked uncertainly.

Sam gave Chuck a disbelieving look as he touched his head where he had been hit. ‘Well, my _head_ hurts,’ he said.

Chuck shook his head. ‘No! No, I mean… I mean m-my last vision…,’ he stuttered. ‘You went, like, full-on Vader! Your body temperature was 150. Your heart rate was 200. …Your eyes were _black_!’

Dean turned his attention to Sam. ‘Your eyes went black?’ he regretted saying it the moment Sam turned to him, shamefaced.

‘I didn’t—‘

‘It’s all right,’ Dean cut in. ‘God knows what my Grace looks like…’ He placed a reassuring hand on Sam’s shoulder and gave a brief nod. He saw the relief flood over Sam’s features and turned back to Chuck. ‘Where’s Cas?’

Chuck shook his head slightly. ‘He’s dead.’

Dean’s breath caught.

‘Or gone,’ Chuck continued. ‘The archangel smote the crap out of him. I…I’m sorry.’

‘You’re sure? I mean…maybe he managed to get away,’ Dean said, not hiding the tremor in his voice. ‘Ran away. Ditched his vessel at the last second. Something!’

‘On, no. He, like, _exploded_ ,’ Chuck replied, gesturing with his arms. ‘Like a…a water balloon of chunky soup. I could feel him… He didn’t fade, just…just gone.’

Dean looked away, distraught. He didn’t have time to dwell on his feelings, though. He could feel a small group of angels heading their way. He was not in the mood for their crap. He looked around for a hidden surface to draw a banishment spell on. With Lucifer on the loose, and God nowhere to be found, he didn’t need to give Heaven a reason to hunt _him_ down, too. He looked up and grimaced as Chuck pulled a bloodied tooth from his hair. Castiel’s vessel was definitely gone… Maybe Castiel was just hiding out somewhere, licking his wounds. Dean sighed. Who was he kidding? Castiel was dead. He didn’t really think about it before, but they both knew the younger angel probably wouldn’t escape his confrontation with Raphael with his life.

‘This has been a really stressful day!’ Chuck said.

Dean nodded as he cut into his hand and pulled the sliding door out. ‘Cas, you stupid bastard,’ he muttered as he began drawing on the door.

‘Stupid? He was trying to help us,’ Sam pointed out. He frowned at the bloody symbols Dean was drawing.

‘Yeah, exactly,’ Dean replied. He finished up the spell and slid the door back in place.

‘So what now?’ Sam asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Dean admitted. He gave Sam a worried glance and a shrug.

‘Oh, crap,’ Chuck said softly, looking around.

Dean nodded and faced away from the kitchen. ‘I know.’

‘What?’ Sam asked in confusion.

‘Thought we’d find you here!’

Sam turned quickly to see three men he didn’t recognize. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dean turn to face the angels with a look of feigned surprise.

‘Playtime’s over, Dean,’ Zachariah said as he toed at some of the debris littering the ground. ‘Time to come with us.

Dean gritted his teeth as Zachariah spoke. Between craving a demon and Castiel gone, he had very little control over himself. He stuck with sarcasm and short replies. It was taking everything he had to keep from flashing his wings. He took solace in being able to push Zachariah’s buttons, making the angel more and more irritated as their conversation progressed.

Talk of Lucifer’s vessel came up, and a brief tinge of panic coursed through Dean.

‘You can stop him, Dean,’ Zachariah said. ‘But you need our help.’

‘You listen to me, you two-faced douche,’ Dean growled. ‘After what you did, I don’t want jack squat from you!’

‘ _You_ listen to _me_ , boy,’ Zachariah snapped back, taking a step forward. ‘You think you can rebel against us? As Lucifer did?’ He laughed derisively, trailing off as his eyes fell on the blood still dripping from Dean’s closed fist. ‘You’re bleeding.’

‘Oh, yeah,’ Dean replied as if he had forgotten. And he actually had forgotten to heal his hand after slicing into it. So much time pretending to be human, it was out of habit that he didn’t bother with smaller injuries. ‘A little insurance policy in case you dicks showed up.’ He pulled out the sliding door and slammed his hand against the sigils.

‘No!’ Zachariah screamed as he and the other two angels were banished.

‘Wouldn’t be the first time I rebelled, you son of a bitch,’ Dean muttered and he flexed his hand and healed it.

‘This sucks ass,’ Chuck whined as he shook his head.

Dean grimaced as he looked at Chuck. ‘Tell me about it… Have you seen far enough ahead to know what happens when they find out about me?’ he asked.

Chuck shook his head.

Dean sighed and turned his attention to Sam. ‘We should get going.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean desperately wanted a demon. He had already reorganized his duffel five times since Sam had left and cleaned his gun about four. He looked up in shock as the door to the hotel room opened. He watched as Sam approached him. ‘Are you real?’ he asked.

Sam frowned in confusion then smiled proudly. He pulled out a hex bag from his pocket. ‘Hex bags!’

Dean took the bag from Sam. He turned it around in his hands, inspecting it. Now that he held it, he could see his way past the spell. Bits and pieces of Sam’s soul shone through, and Dean relaxed. Sam was still obscured from his senses, but at least he knew his brother was actually there.

‘They’ll keep angels and demons from finding us,’ Sam explained.

Dean nodded. ‘Yeah, I got that,’ he said, smirking as Sam pulled a frown. ‘Where’d ya’ get it?’

‘I made it.’ The prideful tone was back in Sam’s voice.

‘How?’ Dean asked as he frowned at the small pouch in his hand. Hex bags were old magic. And for it to cover angel detection, that made the spell even older. It had been so long since he last encountered one that blocked his senses, he had forgotten about them and half of what went into them.

Sam bit his lip and looked away. He looked back at Dean before cautiously replying. ‘I…I learned it from Ruby.’

‘Well, nice to know the bitch was good for something. Speaking of… How you doing?’ Dean asked. He kept picking at the string that held the bag closed. ‘Are you jonesing for another hit of bitch blood, or what?’

‘I-it’s weird… Uh, tell you the truth… I’m fine. No shakes, no fever. It’s like…using it all up on Lilith cleaned me right up,’ Sam replied. He frowned as Dean tossed the bag back and forth. ‘Dean…’

‘Sam,’ Dean snapped, annoyed. ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.’

‘Well, that’s good,’ Sam said carefully, keeping an eye on Dean. He watched as Dean paced the hotel room. ‘Because what can I even say? I’m sorry? I screwed up? Doesn’t really do it justice, you know? Look, there’s nothing I can do or say that will ever make this right…’

‘So why do you keep bringing it up?!’ Dean shouted as he rounded on Sam.

‘Are you…are _you_ all right?’ Sam asked.

‘I’m _fine_.’

Sam didn’t believe Dean for a second. The pacing, the fidgeting…something was up. ‘Dean…what… You’re acting like _I_ did when I needed more demon blood! What’s going on?!’

‘I can handle it!’ Dean shouted, gesturing widely with his arms. The lights flickered, and he clenched his fists. He let out a slow breath and the lights returned to normal. ‘I can handle it,’ he said more calmly. ‘I’ve been through worse. Look, let’s just…let’s just clean up our mess. We’ll treat this like any other hunt, all right? So, first thing’s first?’

‘We uh… We find out where it is…,’ Sam replied. His eyes traveled over his brother. If Dean was going through some form of withdrawal, then what could he do to help? Could he and Bobby lock Dean in the panic room? Were there any spells or wards that could contain Dean?

‘Right,’ Dean said shakily. ‘So we just gotta find…Lucifer.’

‘Can you sense him?’

Dean shook his head. ‘My range isn’t like it used to be. Without Heaven backing me, and going through…well…I’m a little limited and distracted right now. And he’ll be laying low, anyway.’


	22. Chapter 22

Dean did not know what to make of Becky. Or her easy dismissal of him. At least her infatuation with Sam was good for a laugh. But Chuck’s message had him confused.

‘The Michael Sword?’ he asked in disbelief. Michael’s blade was on Earth?

‘Becky, does he know where it is?’ Sam asked.

‘In a castle,’ Becky replied in a mystical tone. ‘On a hill made of forty-two dogs.’

‘Forty-two dogs?’ Dean flatly replied. He gave Sam a shrug. It didn’t make any sense. Even by crazy prophet standards.

‘Are you sure you got that right?’ Sam asked on Dean’s behalf.

Dean half-listened as Becky fawned over Sam. Maybe Chuck had gotten his wires crossed. Heaven would never let an angel’s weapon out of their sight. He should know—he had tried to chase one down after his had been confiscated. But…if there was a chance, they had to take it. He tuned back in to find Becky lovingly stroking Sam’s chest.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean landed unsteadily just outside Bobby’s house. He looked over his shoulder, frowning. Something was coming. He reached out with his Grace and scanned the area. Demons. One of them felt familiar. He could head out and greet them… No, he didn’t need to do that. He was trying to keep a low profile. But…he could really use a pick-me-up. He sighed as he headed inside and searched out Bobby.

He found Bobby in the kitchen, speaking on the phone to another hunter. He bounced anxiously on his heels as he waited for Bobby to wrap up his call before announcing his presence. ‘Hey, Bobby.’

Bobby turned quickly, holding the phone out like a weapon. ‘Jesus! What the Hell did I tell you about doin’ that, boy?!’

Dean shifted his weight and gave a shrug. ‘Sorry,’ he replied distractedly. He was tracking the demons, which were quickly making their way to the salvage yard. ‘Are you expecting company?’

Bobby placed the phone in its cradle and gave a soft snort. ‘No. Why?’

‘I think you should head to the panic room,’ Dean said. The demons were currently just outside of Bobby’s property. Low profile, he reminded himself.

Bobby stiffened and looked out the window. ‘Like Hell I’m gonna just hide out.’ He made his way past Dean, grabbing his shotgun off the table.

‘Bobby...’ Dean followed Bobby into the yard. He crossed his arms as he stood next to Bobby and waited. ‘Look, there’s four of ‘em, so be careful.’

‘No weapon?’ Bobby asked, glancing at Dean. He had received a call earlier from Sam. Sam was worried about Dean’s current state, but neither had any idea of what they could do about it.

Dean slowly shook his head. One or three wouldn’t hurt anything. ‘Not this time… I…I think it’s time I sent a message.’

Bobby gave a stiff nod.

They didn’t have to wait long before the demons rounded the corner. They paused, the young woman leading them warily eyeing Dean.

‘Dean… You’re not supposed to be here,’ she said, holding up a hand to stop the other demons from advancing further.

‘Hello, Meg,’ Dean replied. ‘Didja miss me?’

Meg narrowed her eyes at Dean. ‘How do you know it’s me?’

Dean waved his hand in the air as he replied. ‘Oh, I have my ways.’

Meg gasped and ducked away when Dean vanished and reappeared, grabbing the demon to her left. She backed into the other two demons and watched in horror as Dean absorbed the demon’s life. ‘You’re not Dean,’ she hissed as she pushed one of the other demons in Dean’s direction.

Dean grinned at Meg and stabbed the demon stumbling towards him in the neck with the demon knife. ‘C’mon, Meg, don’t be like that,’ he said conversationally. His eyes flicked between Meg and the final demon. ‘I’m a little insulted you didn’t visit me in Hell.’

Meg edged away from the other demon, catching Dean’s wandering eyes. ‘Well, I would have loved to come and gloat, but you were pretty deep in there, and Alastair isn’t known for liking visitors,’ she replied. ‘Besides, I had my own problems to deal with. Getting out of Hell ain’t easy. You should know that.’

Dean nodded. ‘So, why are you here, Meg?’

Meg slowly backed away, trying to keep herself further from Dean than the other demon. ‘Why do you think I’ll tell you?’

Dean shifted his gaze to the other demon. ‘How ‘bout this: first to talk gets to take a message to Lucifer.’

‘And get killed anyway?’ Meg said with a laugh. ‘Yeah, right. I think I’ll take my chances here.’

Dean grinned as he raised hand, letting the black energy roll off his fingers. He ignored how the tips of his fingers gave off a small crackle of white and red. ‘I was hoping you’d say that,’ he said and slowly unfurled his wings.

Meg’s eyes widened. She quickly stepped over to the other demon and shoved him at Dean. ‘I’ll do it!’ she shouted and cringed as her fellow demon’s scream was cut short. She hoped she would be rewarded. All of Hell had been ordered to keep an eye out for Seraphiel and to bring word the moment they located him. Even if she had failed in her original mission, _this_ was worth so much more.

Dean rolled his neck and stretched his wings, enjoying the surge of dark energy. He looked to Meg and smiled when he found her waiting uncomfortably.

‘What are you doing?!’ Bobby shouted. ‘Just stab her!’

Dean shook his head at Bobby.

Meg wore a manic grin. ‘He won’t,’ she said. ‘I’m worth something now. I know how to find Lucifer.’

‘Then you can tell us where he is,’ Bobby said, training his gun on Meg. ‘Hell, we can probably find that out on our own.’

‘And the moment you find out where he is, he’ll move on to another location,’ Meg replied. She turned her attention back to Dean and raised her hands in a placating gesture. ‘I can do it, Seraphiel. I can find him. I can send messages. He’s worried about you!’

‘Don’t listen to her!’ Bobby pleaded.

Dean looked from Meg to Bobby. Lucifer was worried? But…what about the anger he had felt?

‘He has us looking for you,’ Meg continued. ‘I can tell him you’re okay.’

‘And what’s to keep you from telling him where Sam and Dean are?’ Bobby questioned. ‘What then, huh?’

‘Like he doesn’t already know,’ Meg pointed out. ‘He has demons stationed _everywhere_. We’d know before the angels did.’

Dean ran his hand over his face and bit his lip. He was having trouble thinking clearly with the high he was riding. ‘Maybe… Maybe we could—‘

‘No! Dammit, Dean,’ Bobby stalked up to Dean and grabbed him by the arm. ‘You can’t trust her, and you sure as Hell can’t trust the Devil!’

Dean looked at Bobby helplessly. ‘But…but I can fix this,’ he said uncertainly. ‘If I can just get through to him… There doesn’t _have_ to be an apocalypse.’

‘We are _in_ the God damned apocalypse! The only way I see of stoppin’ it is to stop Lucifer,’ Bobby said, giving Dean a stern shake. ‘All the damned prophecies came true. If we don’t stop him, then we are _all_ going to die! Everyone. Sam, too.’

Dean stared at Bobby. It was true. Except for one vital piece: Michael didn’t have a vessel. There were other vessels out there, but none were Michael’s true vessel. Not like Dean Winchester was supposed be. Maybe that was why the angels were looking for the so-called Michael Sword. Michael wouldn’t be able to do much damage without his blade, and using another angel’s blade would not be nearly as effective as their personal weapon.

‘I won’t tell him your location,’ Meg offered. ‘It can be part of the deal.’

Dean looked back to Meg, his interest piqued. ‘A deal _could_ work,’ he said softly.

‘What?!’ Bobby could not believe what he was hearing.

‘But _I_ write the contract,’ Dean said.

Meg eagerly nodded. ‘I can’t reveal your location to Lucifer, and I can’t reveal _his_ location to you or your friends.’

Dean held his hand out and a piece of paper appeared. He glanced over it and handed it to Meg, ignoring Bobby’s sputters of indignation.

Meg cautiously approached Dean and Bobby and took the paper. She looked over the short contract. It was very concise and to the point. No wiggle room at all. It all revolved around her not revealing to anyone, not even inanimate objects, of anything pertaining to Sam, Dean, or Lucifer’s whereabouts. She wasn’t even permitted to tell anyone else about just who Seraphiel was using as a vessel. There was more detail and description put into what would happen if she broke the contract than the contract itself. ‘And if he finds out on his own?’ she asked.

‘Then he finds out,’ Dean replied. ‘Same goes for me and Sam finding him on our own.’

Meg nodded and bit the inside of her cheek. ‘Okay.’

Bobby threw his hands up in frustration. ‘Dean!’

Dean held his hand up to Bobby. ‘And even though it’s not in the contract, keep in mind how much you will suffer if I find out another attack is made on Bobby, or anyone else I know, in an attempt to get to me and Sam,’ he warned.

Meg nodded. She wanted to be on Lucifer’s good side. Staying on Lucifer’s good side included staying on Seraphiel’s good side. ‘I can’t make any promises for the others, but if I hear anything, I’ll warn you.’

Dean looked at Bobby and flinched at the glare he was receiving. There was something else there as well, but he couldn’t place it. Distrust, worry, resentment, sorrow… ‘Bobby…it’s a good deal,’ Dean said softly.

Bobby looked away and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Do what you have to,’ he said with a weary sigh.

‘Well?’ Meg prompted. She didn’t want to lose her chance. ‘Is it a deal? Are we good?’

Dean nodded and turned back to Meg. ‘Yeah… Let’s get this over with,’ he said as he stepped forward and cupped Meg’s cheek. He leaned down and kissed her gently, feeling the contract seal.

‘What’s the message?’ Meg asked breathlessly.

Dean sighed and looked off to the side. What _did_ he want to say to Lucifer? That he still cared? That he still loved him? ‘I…I’m not on Heaven’s side… Not after what they did, but…I’m not on his side, either.’

Meg nodded and shifted from foot to foot, keeping an eye on Dean and Bobby. ‘Okay… So…how do I find you when I have Lucifer’s reply?’ she asked. ‘Don’t think I’m particularly welcome back here…’

‘Got that right,’ Bobby said gruffly. ‘If I see you set foot here again, I’ll make you regret it.’

Dean pulled a frown. It was a good question. After Sam tiptoeing around with Ruby, he was about to pull same thing. He wondered if Meg was going to start offering up her colleagues. The part of him that was still thinking straight was disgusted at how giddy he felt at the prospect of having his own personal dealer. She would probably happily do it, too.

He tried to dismiss the thought and reached into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He handed Meg one of the various business cards. ‘Gimme a call, and we’ll meet up.’

Meg pocketed the card and quickly backed away. When she felt she had gotten far enough, she turned and bolted.

Bobby shook his head in dismay and headed back into the house. ‘What are you gonna tell Sam?’ he asked. ‘I ain’t gonna lie to him for you.’

Dean shrugged as he followed Bobby into the kitchen. ‘The truth, I guess. He’s not gonna like this…’

‘Ya’ think?!’ Bobby grunted in irritation at Dean. ‘You just opened yourself to a whole new level of manipulation, ya’ idjit!’

Dean looked away. ‘I know… But I have to try,’ he said, his desperation clear. ‘It doesn’t have to be like this. Lucifer doesn’t have to end the world. I think...I think he might listen to me.’

‘And what about the other angels? You really think they’ll let him run free? What about Castiel? What’s _he_ think about this?’

Dean’s breath hitched, and he slumped into a chair. ‘H-he’s dead…’

Bobby’s features softened, and he laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder. ‘We’ll get through this,’ he said. ‘Even with your stupid choices.’

Dean gripped Bobby’s hand tightly. ‘I can fix this,’ he promised, looking up at Bobby.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue lifted straight out of S05E01. Especially towards the end.

Dean tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for Sam to return with food. What he _really_ wanted was another demon. He had tried grabbing a few ghosts on his way to pick up Sam, but they did nothing to sate his craving. He clenched his eyes shut as another wave of need rolled through his Grace.

Why did he have to start up again? He had kicked the habit so long ago.

‘Are you okay?’

Dean looked over to find Sam staring at him in worry. ‘Yeah… Just peachy,’ he lied.

‘Dean…’

Dean shook his head and started the car. ‘I’ll be fine. I just… I just need to sit around for a while and wait it out. I’ve done it before. I can do it again.’ It was sort of true. The only reason he had kicked the habit before was due to demons giving him a wide berth.

Sam nodded uncertainly, hoping Dean was right.

.-.-.-.-.

By the time Sam and Dean arrived, Bobby had already been through several books, looking for any information on the Michael Sword. He sighed and gave the two young men a weary stare as he flipped open another book. ‘You _sure_ you don’t know anything about this?’ he asked Dean.

Dean gave a shrug as he flopped onto the couch. ‘Every angel has a…a sword. But it’s not like it’s special,’ he replied. He leaned forward and rubbed the heel of his hand against his forehead.

Sam and Bobby exchanged a look. ‘Well…is there any chance there was one that was made just for him?’ Sam asked.

‘It doesn’t work like that,’ Dean snapped. ‘An angel gets _one_ blade. It’s like…like an extension of our Grace. It’s near-impossible to lose, so I don’t know how the fuck Michael would have managed to lose his.’ He slumped back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. ‘Probably ‘cuz he’s such a dumbass.’

‘So…do _you_ have one?’ Sam asked.

Dean managed to pull his head up and glare at Sam. ‘It was confiscated,’ he ground out.

Sam shrank back and turned his attention to the book Bobby had open. ‘Okay… So, we’re looking for an actual sword. Maybe it’s in a collection somewhere. Someone somewhere must have come across it.’

‘We’ll have to be quick about it,’ Bobby said. ‘We won’t be the only ones lookin’ for it.’

Dean let out a pained moan as he slumped over.

‘Dean?!’ Sam rushed to his brother’s side and lightly touched his arm. He gasped as Dean swiped at him.

‘Don’t touch me! God, don’t even fucking _talk_ to me!’ Dean shouted. He stood unsteadily and glared at Sam. ‘This is all your fault! If you had just stopped to _listen_ , then none of this would be happening!’

‘This is _not_ Sam’s fault,’ Bobby cut in. He slowly reached into a desk drawer, placing his hand around a small handgun. ‘Why don’t you go lie down?’

Dean spread his wings out, casting dark shadows against the walls. ‘It _is_ his fault! I may have broken the first seal, but Lilith was the final seal! Lucifer is free because of him,’ he hissed, pointing at Sam. ‘This time was supposed to be different! Why can’t I have a brother that’s _not_ out to end the world?!’

Sam glanced at Bobby and quickly looked away.

Bobby pulled the gun out of the desk, but kept it by his side. ‘Calm down, Dean,’ he said. ‘This isn’t you talkin’. Just take a breath and go lie down.’

Dean growled and clutched at his hair in frustration. He couldn’t focus. Nothing was going right. No one ever listened to him. They just told him what to do. He outranked _everyone_ , and they still bossed him around. Even humans that knew who and what he was kept telling him what to do. Why couldn’t they just listen to him? He just needed them to listen. To do what he said. He didn’t need to calm down. He needed… He knew what he needed.

Dean vanished, and Sam gave Bobby a hopeless look. ‘He’s right,’ he eventually said. His stomach dropped as Bobby narrowed his eyes. ‘I-I’m so—‘

‘Yer both damned idjits,’ Bobby grumbled as he placed the gun back in the drawer. He took his cap off and ran his hand through his hair before replacing the cap. ‘How the Hell are we supposed to lock him up if nothin’ works on him?’

Sam frowned as he shrugged. ‘Bobby… He’s right. This is all my fault. Lilith was the final seal, and I killed her. If…if I had just… You guys warned me about Ruby…the demon blood…but I didn’t listen…’ He trailed off as Bobby laid a hand on his shoulder.

‘You plannin’ on fixin’ yer mess?’ Bobby asked.

Sam nodded.

Bobby pulled Sam into a hug. ‘Ain’t no one cuttin’ you out, boy,’ he said as he let go of Sam. ‘Dean either. We all make mistakes. The best we can do is make up for ‘em.’

Sam took a shaky breath and nodded. ‘Thanks, Bobby,’ he said quietly.

.-.-.-.-.

Sam looked up from the book he was reading when he heard the harsh beating of wings. A loud bang and curse from the hall alerted him to Dean’s return. He stared at the doorway in apprehension, unsure as to what Dean’s mood would be.

‘Sammy!’ Dean greeted as he stumbled into the study. ‘Hey, sorry about earlier,’ he said as he slumped onto the couch.

Sam frowned at Dean and sighed as he looked away. ‘Feeling better?’ he asked.

Dean propped his elbow in the couch arm and rested his head in his hand. ‘Pretty good, actually,’ he replied. He felt great. It hadn’t taken him very long to track down a small group of demons. ‘We still good?’

Sam stared at the book in front of him. He reluctantly nodded. ‘Yeah… But, Dean… You… I thought you were going to stop.’

Dean gave a nonchalant shrug as he picked at a loose thread on his jeans. ‘Yeah…about that…’

‘Do we need to lock you up?’ Bobby asked as he entered the room.

Dean laughed and shook his head. ‘Nah, I’ll be fine,’ he said, waving his hand dismissively. ‘Just need to wean myself off.’

Bobby shared a look with Sam. ‘Not cold turkey, then?’

‘I’ll be useless if I do that,’ Dean said, staring at his nails. ‘Why do you guys have nails? I mean, _claws_ I get, but these things? They don’t really _do_ anything. Y’know?’

‘How did you manage to play human under a hunter’s nose for so long?’ Bobby asked. ‘John may not have been the best father to you boys, but he _was_ a good hunter.’

Dean bit at his nails in thought. Something tugged at his memory. His Father… No, his other father… John had a… Castle something? Forty-two dogs…

Dean gasped as he sat up straight. ‘Dad!’

Sam stood up and stared at Dean in confusion. ‘What about Dad?’ He blinked when Dean vanished and reappeared within seconds, holding up a card. ‘What’s that?’ he asked.

Dean shook the card and grinned. ‘Dad’s lockup in upstate New York!’ he said proudly, handing the card to Bobby. ‘Read it!’

‘Castle Storage… Forty-two Rover Hill,’ Bobby read aloud. He looked back up at Dean.

‘A castle on a hill of forty-two dogs,’ Sam said in realization. ‘ _That’s_ where the sword is?!’

‘We had it the whole time,’ Dean said, shaking his head.

‘You sure that’s what Chuck meant?’ Bobby asked.

Dean shrugged and took the card back. ‘Not sure what else he could’ve meant.’

‘Right. Well, you boys be careful,’ Bobby said. ‘And _try_ to stay out of trouble. And, for the love of God, lay off the demons.’

Dean had the decency to look ashamed. ‘Y-yeah… I’ll do that,’ he replied, refusing to look Bobby in the eye.

.-.-.-.-.

The drive to Castle Storage was littered with rest stops. Sam knew what Dean was doing during his so-called bathroom breaks. He wondered if he had been so painfully obvious with his own addiction to demon blood.

He let out an annoyed sigh as Dean slowed the car down. ‘Really?! Can’t you go for more than five minutes without a fix?’

Dean shook his head distractedly. ‘Something’s not right…’

Sam looked out the window. He saw the lit up sign to the storage facility. ‘Demons?’ he asked.

‘Worse. Angels,’ Dean replied. He groaned in frustration. ‘Dammit. They beat us to it.’

‘Not necessarily,’ Sam argued. ‘If they had already found it, they would have left. Why hang around?’

Dean gave a nodding shrug. ‘Well, let’s get in and get out.’

Sam and Dean had their shotguns ready as they entered the room. Dean glanced around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

‘So nice of you to join us,’ a voice said from behind them.

They turned to find Zachariah smiling smugly at them. Behind him stood a pair of angels.

‘We were wondering how long it would take you get here.’

‘What do you mean?’ Sam asked.

‘We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck’s skull, but it happened to be true,’ Zachariah said. ‘We did lose the Michael Sword. We truly couldn’t find it. Until now. You’ve just hand-delivered it to us.’

Dean frowned as his stomach clenched. He would have known if he had an angel blade. What else could the Michael Sword be? ‘We don’t have anything,’ he said. He wondered how quickly he and Sam could escape the room.

‘It’s _you_ , chucklehead,’ Zachariah said. ‘ _You’re_ the Michael Sword.’

Dean breathed in sharply. Why hadn’t he figured it out earlier? The vessel! Of _course_!

‘What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer?’ Zachariah said with a laugh. ‘You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No, you’re just a human, Dean. And not much of one.’

Dean glared at Zachariah. He kept seeing flashes of claws tearing into his wings, teeth ripping away feathers, multiple faces giving animalistic grins as he begged for it all to stop. ‘A vessel,’ he said, voice tight with emotion. ‘I won’t do it. I’ll die first.’

Zachariah tilted his head, losing his pleased grin momentarily. ‘Joking. Always joking. Well, no more jokes…,’ he said, pointing his finger at Dean.

Dean stiffened. He was frozen with fear. His mind replaced the pale finger with bloody claw, ready to tear into him and pluck each and every feather away. He watched in horror as the finger shifted to point at Sam. He didn’t hear what Zachariah said, but he did hear the loud crack of bones breaking and Sam’s anguished scream.

‘You son of a bitch!’ Dean shouted and glared at Zachariah. He shook as Zachariah’s wings spread out threateningly. Sam was hurt, but he could fix that later. He hoped he would be able to fix it. He had trouble focusing on what Zachariah was saying. He caught the words ‘general,’ ‘Michael,’ and ‘vessel.’ He put the rest together.

‘You need my permission,’ Dean pointed out.

‘Unfortunately, yes,’ Zachariah grudgingly admitted.

‘Well, there’s gotta be another way,’ Dean said. There had to be a backup plan. Why else would God let him get away with Michael’s vessel?

‘There is no other way,’ Zachariah replied. ‘There must be a battle. Michael must defeat the serpent. It is written.’

Dean’s eyes flicked to the two angels standing behind Zachariah. Would he be able to take them all? Aside from a human gun, he was weaponless. Running away was probably his best option. He knew he was fast, even with his damaged wings. But, he would have to grab Sam, and that would slow him down and throw him off-balance. He wouldn’t be able to get them both away, and he couldn’t leave Sam behind.

He threw Zachariah a glare. ‘Yeah, maybe… But, on the other hand… Eat me,’ he growled. ‘The answer’s “no”.’

Zachariah narrowed his eyes then smiled. ‘Okay. How about this… Say “yes,” and we’ll heal Sam. Say “no”…he’ll never walk again.’

Dean quickly glanced at Sam. The nod was minute, but it was all he needed. ‘No.’

Zachariah’s wings gave an irritated flap. ‘Then how about we heal _you_ from…stage-four stomach cancer?’ he offered with a sick grin.

Dean felt his insides twist and mold to the angel’s will. He stood his ground, coughing blood into his hand. ‘No,’ he ground out.

He refrained from healing himself. If this was how Zachariah treated Michael’s vessel, then Dean could only guess at what tortures Zachariah would come up with for a fallen angel.

Zachariah’s expression became vicious as he stared at Dean. ‘Then let’s gets _really_ creative,’ he said. ‘Let’s see how Sam does without his lungs.’

Dean’s head turned quickly to see Sam fight for breath. He blinked rapidly as his body screamed in pain. If Sam were to die, would he be able to bring him back? Could he fix the damage Zachariah had caused? He closed his eyes in frustration. Without Heaven backing his power, he wouldn’t be able to bring Sam back to life, nor restore his lungs. Legs, he might be able to fix. Missing organs were a whole other story.

‘Are we having fun yet?’ Zachariah asked teasingly. ‘You’re going to say “yes,” Dean.’

Dean glared up at Zachariah. He could just make out another angel approaching their location. ‘Just kill us,’ he spat out.

‘Kill you? Oh, no,’ Zachariah said, shaking his head. ‘I’m just getting started.’

Dean grimaced as the new angel landed. He stared, not able to believe what he was seeing. Carefully, he reached out and felt Castiel’s Grace surround him. He sighed, unable to keep the relieved smile off his face.

Zachariah frowned in confusion and turned just as a flash of light erupted behind him. He watched as one of the angels he had brought with him fell to the floor, dead. He did nothing as Castiel fought the other angel.

Castiel stabbed the second angel in the back and turned his attention to Zachariah, calmly approaching him.

Zachariah brushed his Grace along Castiel’s, confirming it was truly Castiel. ‘How are you…?’

‘Alive?’ Castiel supplied. ‘That’s a good question. How did these two end up on that airplane? Another good question.’

Dean quickly looked away. _He_ knew how he ended up on the plane. Although…he did have a guiding light…

‘Because the angels didn’t do it. I think we both know the answer, don’t we?’ Castiel said, flexing his wings.

Zachariah shook his head. ‘No. That’s not possible,’ he said, a tinge of fear in his voice.

‘It scares you,’ Castiel said knowingly. ‘Well, it should. Now, put these boys back together and go. I won’t ask twice.’

Sam gasped as he felt his body be restored to normal. Carefully, he stood, glad to find his legs no longer broken. He looked over at Dean to find his brother kneeling on the ground, staring up at Castiel.

Castiel walked up to Dean and looked down at him uncertainly. There was so much more darkness laced throughout his Grace than before. ‘What happened?’ he asked quietly, kneeling in front of Dean.

Dean threw himself forward and clung onto Castiel. ‘I thought I lost you,’ he whispered. ‘Please be real. Please, _please_ be real!’

Castiel hugged Dean back and rubbed soothing circles along his back. ‘I’m real,’ he said. He looked up at Sam and sighed. ‘You two need to be more careful.’

‘Yeah, we got that,’ Sam replied. ‘Never thought angels could be that heartless…’

Castiel shook his head as he helped Dean to stand. He shivered as Dean’s Grace twisted around his own and wings wrapped around him. ‘I don’t mean the angels,’ he said. ‘Lucifer is circling his vessel. And once he takes it, those hex bags won’t be enough to protect you.’

Dean stiffened. He reluctantly pulled away from Castiel. ‘L-Lucifer’s vessel?’ he asked shakily.

Castiel nodded. ‘A man named “Nick”.’

Relief flooded Dean, and he relaxed. He frowned has Castiel placed a hand on both his and Sam’s chests. He winced as pain raced through his ribs, carving and Enochian spell as it went.

‘What… What was that?’ Sam asked as he rubbed his chest.

‘An Enochian sigil,’ Castiel replied.

‘I don’t like it,’ Dean said. Unlike the hex bag, he couldn’t see past it.

‘It will hide you from every angel in creation,’ Castiel explained. ‘Including Lucifer.’

‘Dean, too,’ Sam said as he looked at Dean.

Dean nodded uncomfortably. ‘This feels weird.’

‘Hey, Cas… Were you really dead?’ Sam asked.

‘Yes,’ Castiel replied. He stretched his wings out as Dean’s Grace slowly caressed his own. He felt sick to his stomach. That was the only way to describe what he was feeling. There was so much corruption pulsating along Dean’s Grace that Castiel was having trouble not reading him as a common demon. He needed to get out of there. Away from Dean. Away from the dark energy.

‘Then…how are you back?’ Dean asked quietly. Did their Father really bring Castiel back? He gasped when Castiel vanished, a short apology sent swiftly along his Grace.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the beginnings of some self-harm/torture and gore

Castiel landed heavily in the study of Bobby’s house. He looked around in confusion when he didn’t see the old hunter.

‘God dammit!’ Bobby shouted as he entered the study. He sucked in a breath and reached for a gun that wasn’t there. ‘Ain’t you s’posed to be dead?!’

‘I was,’ Castiel replied, turning to face Bobby.

‘Does…does Dean know you’re alive?’

Castiel nodded. ‘He is the reason why I’m here. Has Dean been acting…’

‘Like a junky?’ Bobby finished. ‘Yeah. Kid’s messed up until he takes a hit off a demon, then it’s all sunshine and flowers.’

‘I see.’ Castiel looked away, thinking.

‘And we can’t _do_ anything about it! Can’t lock him up to sweat it out,’ Bobby said as he crossed his arms. ‘I’d do the same thing we tried with Sam, but…he can get out of anything.’

‘I know of a way,’ Castiel quietly replied. ‘Bring him here, and keep him here until I return.’

‘Yeah? And what if he suspects something?’

‘What would he suspect?’ Castiel asked with a small smile. ‘Nothing can contain him.’

And with that, Castiel vanished, leaving Bobby alone to wonder just what the angel had in mind.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean got out of the Impala and stretched. He flexed his wings and grinned happily.

‘You didn’t have to do that,’ Sam grumbled as he got out.

‘Would you rather have ‘em runnin’ around, killing innocent people?’ Dean countered as he turned and leaned over the roof of the car. He gave Sam a lopsided grin.

‘You could have used the knife,’ Sam pointed out.

‘ _You_ have the knife, Sammy.’

‘No. I don’t,’ Sam ground out. ‘Just… Y’know what? Never mind. Let’s just see what Bobby wants.’

‘Something about some signs… I don’t really remember,’ Dean admitted with a half shrug.

Sam shook his head as he headed to the house. ‘Maybe if you had actually _listened_ to him,’ he said under breath.

‘I heard that!’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean flipped through one of the books on the desk before tossing it aside. ‘Nothin’ in here. You _sure_ it’s an omen?’ he asked. ‘I mean, termites are bad, but omen-bad?’

‘We’re lookin’ for a _pattern_ ,’ Bobby growled. Keeping Dean distracted was taking a lot of work. He had searched and searched for signs concerning the apocalypse. He had pulled up every last little thing he could find. He hoped Castiel would hurry up with whatever his plan was.

‘Well, lookin’ for Lucifer… I dunno, Bobby,’ Dean whispered. ‘He’s gonna be real careful. He won’t stay anywhere too long.’

‘Which is why we need to focus and get this done _quick_!’

Dean nodded distractedly as he looked over the map Bobby had tacked to the wall. ‘Maybe…’ He gasped as he felt Castiel’s presence. He stood and looked around expectantly. ‘Cas?’ he called out.

Bobby held his breath and kept an eye on Dean. He slowly shook his head when Sam gave him a curious look.

Dean reached out, searching for Castiel’s presence. When his Grace touched Castiel’s, he received a short burst of need. He tripped over his own feet as he made to meet Castiel. He quickly stood and, blushing, turned to face Sam and Bobby. ‘I’ll uh…be right back,’ he said. ‘Five minutes. Ten. Maybe more. Definitely more!’

Sam gave a short laugh as Dean stumbled out of the room. ‘What was _that_ about?’

‘Cas thinks he can keep Dean locked up,’ Bobby replied.

Sam let out a slow breath. ‘Is he sure?’

Bobby gave a shrug as he shook his head. ‘I hope so…’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean grinned as he hopped down the stairs to the basement. Castiel didn’t hate him! He turned the corner, and his heart swelled at the sight of Castiel standing in the middle of the panic room. ‘You came back,’ he said as he approached the room.

Castiel nodded, forcing himself to smile despite the dark energies caressing his Grace. ‘I thought that we could enjoy each other’s company in private,’ he replied.

Dean’s grin widened. Cautiously, he lifted his hand and lightly touched Castiel’s cheek. ‘I thought I lost you,’ he whispered.

Castiel closed his eyes and leaned into Dean’s touch. ‘For a moment, you did.’ His breath caught as he found Dean’s hands eagerly pulling at his clothing. Dean’s corrupted Grace was stifling and more than a little overwhelming for Castiel. ‘D-Dean…’

‘Yeah?’ Dean kissed his way down Castiel’s jaw and neck.

‘I…I wanted to try something…’

Dean halted and stared curiously at Castiel. ‘Oh?’ He poked at Castiel’s Grace, trying to find any hint of what Castiel had in mind.

‘Close your eyes,’ Castiel said, leaving small, ghosting kisses on Dean’s lips.

Dean searched Castiel’s eyes for a clue, but came up empty. He sighed and closed his eyes. ‘This had better be good,’ he said. He let out a soft whine when Castiel pulled away.

‘Stay there…’

Dean grunted and crossed his arms. He followed Castiel’s path with his Grace, sending light promises of what he was going to do to the young angel.

‘Dean,’ Castiel warned, brushing Dean’s Grace away, ‘no peaking.’

Dean pulled his Grace back and tapped his foot. ‘C’mon, man. Hurry up!’

There was the sound of a match being struck, and Dean’s eyes flew open in time to see the edge of the circular room burst into bright flames. His breath came in shorts rasps as he slowly turned to face the open door. ‘Castiel?’

Castiel looked away. ‘Please forgive me,’ he said softly. ‘But this is for the best.’

Dean closed his eyes and clenched his fists. ‘Holy oil, huh? Yeah… I understand. And…I…forgive you…’

‘You won’t feel that way in a few hours,’ Castiel pointed out. He looked back at Dean and gave him a sad smile. ‘I promise that I will be here when it’s over.’

Dean laughed bitterly as he shook his head. ‘Yeah…but you won’t stick around to watch, will ya’?’

Castiel shifted uncomfortably. ‘Do you wish me to stay?’

Shaking his head, Dean looked around the small room. It was completely void of the normal furniture. Why hadn’t he noticed before? ‘It ain’t gonna be pretty. Last time I kicked the habit… I uh… I may have started the Crusades,’ he said and gave Castiel a sheepish grin. He wiped the grin off his face when Castiel looked at him in disappointment. ‘Sorry.’

Castiel sighed and crossed his arms.

.-.-.-.-.

Bobby fell against his desk as the house shook. ‘The Hell was that?!’

Castiel appeared in the doorway, looking worse for the wear.

‘Cas, you okay?’ Sam asked.

Castiel shook his head and grabbed the doorframe for support as the house shook again. ‘He…he’s not himself right now,’ he shakily replied.

‘Is _he_ causing this? Feels like a damn earthquake!’ Bobby said, catching a frame as it fell off the wall.

‘I would not think him capable of this…but Seraphiel is…was one of Heaven’s most powerful angels,’ Castiel replied. ‘I believe he will burn through the demonic energy quickly, but… I want him to be rid of all of it. The demons, the ghosts, the vampires…everything.’

‘Didn’t you do that before?’ Sam asked as he righted a fallen lampstand.

Castiel shook his head. ‘He depleted his reserves fighting me then… No, what I have in mind is a complete cleansing of his Grace.’

‘Won’t that make him unable to get past angel proofing?’ Bobby asked. He stumbled as another jolt threw him off balance.

‘Unfortunately, Dean will always be marked by his time in Hell and his sins,’ Castiel replied. He cast his eyes downward and hugged himself with his wings. ‘He is, essentially, part demon. That, I cannot change. But I _can_ remove the extra energies clouding his Grace. I think…he may be able to access Heaven’s power.’

‘What?!’ Sam and Bobby stared at Castiel in shock.

‘But… What about when he just got outta Hell?’ Sam said. ‘He wouldn’t have had any monsters…’

‘He needs to make the connection with his own power,’ Castiel explained. ‘When I brought him back, he fought me the entire way. I had thought he was just a particularly strong soul, but…’ He shook his head and sighed. ‘He had no power when I brought him back. Had he waited long enough… I believe he would have been able to reach Heaven’s power…if he had cared to tried.’

‘But he Fell. He was banished,’ Sam pointed out.

‘ _I’ve_ Fallen,’ Castiel replied. ‘I have not been truly banished…not yet. But I can still feel Heaven’s power through my Grace. I imagine it was the same for Anna. The path is still there, but…my power is severely limited to what I was capable of before.’

‘But back at the storage… You took out those other angels and scared off Zachariah.’

Castiel pulled a face and shrugged. ‘I was bluffing.’

The shaking subsided, and Bobby hesitantly replaced the frame on the wall. He thought better of it and set it on the floor. ‘So how long’s this gonna take?’ he asked.

‘Hours? Days? I don’t know,’ Castiel admitted. ‘He…has the capacity for a lot of stored energy, and from what I could feel…he has been consuming every demon that has crossed his path.’

‘That’d be about right,’ Sam said with a bitter nod. ‘That’s why it took us twice as long to get here.’

Castiel sighed and moved further into the room. ‘Then it will all depend on whether or not he conserves his energy.’

‘Is there a way to make him burn through it more quickly?’ Sam asked as he looked down the hallway to the door leading to the basement.

‘Provoke him,’ Castiel said, barely above a whisper. ‘It won’t take much. Just stand there… His Enochian is…quite colorful. A much older dialect than I am familiar with, but, from what I can make out, he is quite creative with the insults.’ A hand settled on his shoulder and gave a light squeeze. He looked up to see Sam giving him a sympathetic look. ‘I’ll be fine.’

Bobby frowned as his gaze drifted to the hallway. ‘So if we have someone down there at all times, this should go a lot quicker,’ he said. ‘And just how safe is that? If he can start a mini earthquake, who’s to say he won’t bring down the whole house?’

‘That was actually the worst he is capable of,’ Castiel replied. ‘He was…quite angry with me.’

‘All right, then we’ll take it in turns,’ Sam said, heading towards the basement door.

‘Sam,’ Casitel called out.

Sam stopped just short of the door and turned to face Castiel, waiting for the angel to continue.

‘No matter what he says, no matter what he _does_ , do _not_ extinguish the flames,’ Castiel warned.

Sam nodded and headed down the stairs. He was not prepared for the sight that greeted him when he rounded the corner.

Dean sat, crouched over, on the floor in the center of flaming circle. He had removed his shirts and coat and had tossed them aside. His legs were crossed, and his hands rested loosely on his knees. They were covered in blood. He looked up when he heard a gasp and grinned at Sam.

Sam had a big heart. Sam didn’t like to see others hurt. Sam was gullible.

Sam felt his stomach turn as Dean sat up straight, revealing the deep scratches across his stomach, chest, and sides. Bits of skin hung loosely, and blood dripped slowly down Dean’s torso.

‘Sammy,’ Dean greeted. ‘I think I hurt myself.’


	25. Chapter 25

Sam rushed forward but stopped just short of the open doorway. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion as Dean’s smile widened. ‘How are you doing?’ he asked.

Dean pulled a frown. ‘I’m in pain,’ he flatly replied. ‘Unless I’m hallucinating all this blood…’

Sam leaned against the doorframe as his eyes traveled over his brother. ‘Why are you doing this?’ he asked quietly.

‘I could ask you the same thing, but humans don’t need much reason, do they?’ Dean shot back. ‘You’re not helping me. You’re just making it worse.’

‘Dean…this is for your own good. Cas says—‘

‘That I can access Heaven’s power? And you _believed_ him?! Sammy, there _is_ no backdoor!’ Dean shouted as he shakily stood, spreading his wings for balance. ‘Don’t you think I’ve _tried_?!’

Sam took a step back as ragged shadows were cast about the room. He gasped when Dean flinched and hugged himself, the flames next to him sparking. ‘D-Dean!’

Dean huffed and sat back down, staring at his lap. ‘I’ve tried,’ he insisted. ‘I can barely access Angel Radio anymore. I _know_ I can’t tap into Heaven’s power.’

‘But Cas—’

‘He’s _young_ ,’ Dean said. ‘Stupid, idealistic… He doesn’t know anything. Fuck, he wasn’t even there when I Fell. Wasn’t created yet.’ He sighed and leaned back on his hands, staring up at Sam. ‘His heart’s in the right place, but…he doesn’t know anything. This…cleansing won’t work.’

‘It’s worth a try,’ Sam offered.

Dean shook his head and looked away. ‘Even after I get all this demon shit outta my system, I still won’t be able to do it. I’ve been through this before. It’s hard, it’s painful…but…it’s pointless. If he keeps me trapped for as long as he wants, I’ll be completely useless.’

‘You were never useless.’

Dean gave Sam a sad smile. ‘Wasn’t much use against Azazel… Couldn’t save Mom. Couldn’t save Dad… Couldn’t even save you.’

‘You did your best,’ Sam argued.

‘I got distracted,’ Dean pointed out. ‘Forgot about Mom’s deal with Azazel… After the crash, I…I wasn’t in a coma when Dad got ganked. I was off on…I dunno. Vacation. Messed with you on the Ouija board, possessed a nurse and had some fun… Messed with that Reaper for a bit before I got slammed back into this meat suit.’

He sighed heavily and scratched his head. ‘I dunno, maybe I shoulda tried harder… At least, right now, I actually have the power to _do_ something.’

Sam stared at the flames separating them. ‘I’m not letting you out,’ he said. He looked up and flinched at the cold look Dean was giving him.

‘I _let_ her die.’

Sam’s stomach clenched. ‘W-what?’

‘Your little girlfriend. Jess, right? As if I couldn’t find John on my own,’ Dean said. ‘I knew about the demons, knew about their _plan_.’

‘You’re lying,’ Sam said, his voice catching.

Dean leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. He grinned up at Sam and tilted his head. ‘I may as well have killed her myself.’

Sam’s heart beat harshly in his chest. ‘There’s no way you could ha—’

‘I called in a favor and sent that sorry excuse you call a “father” on a wild goose chase. Dragged you away on an easy hunt. She was _supposed_ to be _dead_ by the time we got back,’ Dean spat. ‘But, no. I got cocky. Didn’t think to check the area before dropping your sorry ass off.’

‘Dean…’

‘And there she was. Burning away on the ceiling,’ he continued. ‘Just like your pathetic…’ He looked away as his breath hitched. ‘Just like…like Mo—Mary,’ he finished, voice barely about a whisper.

Sam hugged himself as he stared at Dean. He didn’t know what to believe. If Dean _was_ telling the truth, then why would he just let Jess die? He could have _prevented_ her death. ‘Why?’ he asked. ‘Why did you let it happen?’

Dean didn’t answer. Without getting up, he turned his back on Sam, the tips of his wings brushing against the flames. He kept them as close to the fire as he could, savoring the pain he knew he deserved.

‘Dean! Tell me!’

‘Because I have to protect you! I promised her,’ Dean sobbed. ‘I promised… Swore you’d never get hurt. You weren’t supposed to know. It was gonna look like an accident. No connection to demons… You’d be sad, but…but happy. Nothing supernatural. Just normal, shitty luck.’

Sam closed his eyes and breathed evenly. ‘You did it to keep me out,’ he said in quiet realization.

Dean nodded as he absently scratched at the drying blood on his chest, smearing the fresher drips. ‘Couldn’t kill the demons ‘cuz that’d draw too much attention. Couldn’t warn you ‘cuz you’d hate dragging Jess into the life. She was a good soul. Went straight to Heaven…’ He glanced over his shoulder. ‘If that’s any consolation.’

‘Not really,’ Sam replied, shaking his head.

Aside from the gentle fizzing sound of Dean’s wings grazing the fire, the room was silent. A soft whoosh alerted Sam to Dean’s sudden movement. He looked up and jumped back a foot when he found Dean standing directly in front of him.

‘I’m hungry.’

‘I don’t…know…’

Dean narrowed his eyes. He got as close to the edge of the circle as he could and gave a harsh beat with his wings, sending flames shooting out of the room. ‘I’m not going anywhere. All I want is some food. Maybe a beer.’

Sam took a few more steps back. ‘I’ll ask Cas, okay?’ He fell against the wall as the floor beneath him shook. He looked up to see Dean’s eyes glowing a bright green.

‘Then I’ll feed myself,’ he said calmly.

Sam watched in horror as Dean reached up and slowly dug his fingers into neck. ‘D-Dean… Dean, _stop_!’

‘Make me,’ Dean rasped as he pulled down, tearing at his flesh. Blood poured from his neck and down his chest. He pulled his hand away and brought his fingers to his lips. ‘Don’t look so squeamish, Sammy,’ he said as he casually licked at his fingers. ‘ _You’re_ the blood-drinker. You should be used to this.’

Sam clenched his eyes shut and turned his face away. ‘Please stop,’ he whispered. ‘This isn’t you.’

‘You don’t know me!’ Dean screamed. He hugged himself and dragged his nails across his arms, leaving deep, ragged gouges. ‘You never knew me! How could a _human_ even _hope_ to understand _me_?!’

‘Of course I know you,’ Sam replied, glancing at Dean. He felt a wave of nausea as he was struck with the reminder of Dean being mauled by the Hellhound. ‘You’re my brother.’

‘ _Lucifer_ is my brother,’ Dean hissed, making Sam flinch. ‘And he wants me back. _He_ loves me. He wouldn’t keep me trapped in this…this _hole_.’

‘I’m doing this _because_ I love you,’ Sam said. ‘You did the same for me.’

‘You were a _threat_!’

‘I needed help… And now…now, I’m helping you.’

Dean glared at Sam. His Grace felt like it was being torn apart. Why didn’t anyone understand? He needed to get out. Ease the pain. Sam wouldn’t understand. No human could possibly understand the pain he was going through. They only understood on a physical level. He briefly wondered how well he could heal his vessel.

Sam gave Dean an uneasy stare. He knew what his brother looked like when deep in thought, and it didn’t always yield the best results. He tensed when it appeared that Dean had come to a decision.

A series of loud cracks echoed through the basement, and Dean’s breathing turned to soft, wet gurgles.

Sam’s eyes widened as blood began seeping out of Dean’s mouth. ‘I-I’m not letting you out!’ he shouted. He gasped as Castiel appeared in front of him.

‘Come to join the party, amma dax ol teloch?’ Dean asked.

‘We need to place proper warding around the perimeter,’ Castiel said as he turned to face Sam.

‘The spell,’ Sam breathed.

Castiel nodded before turning back to Dean. He stalked up to the edge of the flames, matching Dean’s glare. ‘Do you _want_ the others to find you?’

Dean gave a bloody snort and grinned at Castiel. ‘Let them come. I can take them.’

‘You’re trapped,’ Castiel pointed out. ‘If they were to find you like this…’

‘Then maybe you should let me out. This isn’t helping. You can’t _purify_ me.’ Dean wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. It did little to stop the steady flow of blood.

‘What do you think Zachariah will do when he finds out? Or perhaps Michael? I don’t think they’ll take too kindly to your possession of this vessel, Seraphiel.’

Dean flinched away at his name. ‘I can take them,’ he said shakily.

‘Because you did so well the last time,’ Castiel said, shaking his head. He let his eyes linger on Dean’s wings. ‘I had heard stories of how beautiful your wings were. How magnificent you were. Before the war. Before you were cast out. If they find you…this time, I doubt they’ll stop at your wings.’

Dean’s breathing became shallow. ‘You wouldn’t let them…’

‘I’m not so certain.’ Castiel turned away from Dean and headed for the stairs. He placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and pulled him along.

‘Cas? Castiel?’ Dean paced back and forth. His voice caught in his throat as Sam turned away, following Castiel. ‘S-Sam? Sammy?! Cas?! You can’t leave!’ he shouted as he sent a wave of energy out.

Sam lost his balance, but managed to catch himself on the wall. He looked over his shoulder at Dean and quickly looked away again. ‘Fix yourself up. I gotta help Cas,’ he said.

‘Oh, I’ll fix myself up _good_ ,’ Dean savagely promised.

Castiel closed his eyes and forced himself not to run to Dean’s aid when a loud snap filled the air, followed by the sound of Dean hitting the floor. ‘I suggest you heal yourself,’ he said quietly. ‘If you don’t, then you will have _no_ company for the rest of your stay in that room.’

Dean watched, flabbergasted, as Sam and Castiel silently turned the corner and ascended the stairs. ‘Sammy? Cas? G-guys?’ He coughed as he pulled himself into a sitting position, cringing as his power failed to keep him from feeling the pain from the damage he had caused.

Without his audience, he had no reason to sport his wounds. He focused his power on mending his bones and frowned when then pain didn’t ease.  He tried again, a flash of panic running through him when he felt no different. ‘No… No no no no no no no…’

He shook out his hands and tried to keep his breathing even, concentrating on what little of his Grace was still pure. He focused on the smaller lacerations across his front, feeling relief as they healed. He then shifted his attention to his ribs.

Dean doubled over in a fit of bloody coughs as the bones slowly moved back into place. He scratched his nails across the floor, doing his best not to break his concentration. He gasped and wheezed as he managed to fix one rib. ‘One down, five to go…’

He steeled himself as he set to mending the next rib. Nothing happened. Slowly, he sat up straight and stared ahead to where Sam and Castiel had been standing. He looked down at his hands and let out a shaky breath as he dragged his nails across the back of his left hand. Blood slowly seeped from the fresh, ragged lines. He tried to heal them, but the flow of blood remained steady.

He tapped into the darker energy running through his Grace and choked back a sob as the bleeding stopped, but the wound remained open.

Silently, Dean crawled to the center of the room and hid himself beneath his wings. How long was Castiel going to leave him there? He could already feel his vessel dying. He shouldn’t have tried busting out of the circle. Definitely shouldn’t have used his own power to do so. He should have used the demonic energy he had stored up instead.

He shivered as his Grace hummed hungrily. How long could he last? It took a lot more power to keep his vessel alive with the demonic power of his Grace than his angelic side, but he was completely spent.

Was that what they really wanted? For Dean’s vessel to die and rot away? He didn’t want that to happen. He _was_ Dean Winchester. It was _his_ body. His first _real_ possession. Something that was all his. He had possessed humans before, but he always had to share with the human soul that had been there first. The constant chatter and worries were always sifting through the background. This empty body gave him silence. No crowding in with a soul. No screams of confusion.

It was his. The little broken body that he had brought back to life. If he looked at it from the right angle, then it was a gift from his Father. After all, He had let Seraphiel take over as Dean Winchester. He _had_ to have known. And now…now, he had gone and fucked it up. Ruined his precious gift.

With each beat of his heart, he could feel the life draining from his vessel. Why did he have to be so bullheaded?

Dean spat a mouthful of blood to the floor. He lightly ran his hands along his arms as he hugged himself. He had felt his vessel die before, ripped to shreds. But, back then, he had the power to numb the pain. He probably could have healed the damage had there been no contract.

He hung his head and was unable to keep the tears from falling from his eyes. ‘I don’t wanna die,’ he whispered brokenly to the empty room. ‘Please…please… Dad… Father… Don’t let me die. G-give me strength… Don’t… Please, don’t ignore me. I’m sorry.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Amma dax ol teloch’ translates straight to ‘cursed loins of death.’ I just strung together some words from the Enochian dictionary. I guess you could say it translates to ‘Death’s disease-ridden cock.’


	26. Chapter 26

The hours had passed slowly for Dean. Everything hurt. Every ache, every sore muscle and gaping wound. He coughed up another mouthful of blood onto the floor. He watched how the fire reflected off the fresh splatter and wondered if Bobby would be angry with him for getting the floor so dirty. Humans worried about that sort of thing.

He hadn’t moved since he’d been left alone, too afraid of using any more energy than was required to keep his body from dying. Footsteps echoed through the basement, and Dean wondered if Sam was coming back to yell at him. He certainly deserved it.

There was a sharp intake of breath, and Dean looked up to find Bobby staring in disgust.

‘Jesus, kid… Pull yourself together!’ Bobby shouted. He had been told just what Dean had done to himself, but he had figured that Dean would have healed himself by now. He stumbled when the ground beneath him shook. He looked up in time to catch Dean’s angry glare switch to pure panic.

Dean spat up more blood and whined lowly as he curled more into himself. That was it. There wasn’t much left anymore. He wouldn’t be able keep his vessel alive any longer. Maybe a couple hours if he was lucky. Slowly, he looked up at Bobby. ‘Sorry,’ he whispered.

Bobby grimaced as his eyes took in the damage Dean has caused to himself. ‘Nothin’ to be sorry for…just…get better an’ we’ll talk,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you heal yourself?’

Dean shrugged. ‘Can’t anymore… I never got to thank you,’ Dean said, breaking off in a ragged cough.

‘For what?’ Bobby asked, not bothering to hide the suspicion in his voice.

‘You were more of a father to me than John ever was,’ Dean replied. He looked back at the floor and shook his head. ‘You… Playin’ catch instead of teaching me to shoot? That was probably the best day of my childhood… For the first time since Mary…Mom… You helped ease the pain.’

Bobby’s eyes softened. ‘Someone had to take care of you kids.’

Dean doubled over in another coughing fit. He moaned loudly as he pulled his wings in tight. They hurt so much. It wasn’t the familiar burn of the fire. And it was much more intense than the last time they were sore.

‘Is there something I can get you?’ Bobby asked. ‘Within reason.’

Dean shook his head, wiping his mouth with his hand. ‘Tombstone?’

‘Want me to pipe in some music?’

Dean looked up. ‘I…I wouldn’t mind _Hey Jude_ …if you got it,’ he replied, barely above a whisper.

Bobby nodded and turned to leave. ‘I’ll see what I can do.’

Dean watched Bobby disappear back upstairs and sighed. He felt so useless. They were in the middle of the apocalypse, and his supposed friends had him locked away. Why couldn’t they have waited?

‘Because they love me,’ Dean muttered to himself, finally able to properly break from the demonic energies clouding his thoughts. He still craved more, desperately wanted to break out and hunt down a demon, but he was finally far enough along to ignore it.

The last time he had come down from his demon high, he sulked for over four centuries. He wondered what he would do this time around. He could already feel the sorrow and loneliness closing in on him, suffocating his will.

.-.-.-.-.

It was early the next morning when a high pitched noise drifted up from the basement. Sam and Bobby looked around in confusion as the sound grew higher and louder. The windows began to vibrate, and the lights flickered.

‘The hell is that?!’ Bobby shouted, covering his ears. He looked over to see Castiel staring at nothing, a soft smile on his face.

Sam cringed, trying to block out the noise. ‘Is it Dean?’

Castiel nodded as windows burst in their frames and light bulbs popped. Beside him, the TV exploded into the room, but he didn’t notice, too wrapped up in listening to the beautiful song. He had heard stories about the Seraphim and how their voices were the most wondrous sound to grace existence. He had never thought nor hoped to actually _hear_ one sing.

The song faded into more of a low hum, and Castiel turned to face Sam and Bobby. He frowned at the pained expressions the humans wore. ‘He was singing,’ he explained. ‘You may not fully understand, but…to hear Dean… _Seraphiel_ sing…no experience could compare.’

Sam winced as looked around. The sound wasn’t as loud as before, but it was just as annoying. A high-pitched whine, just on the edge of hearing. ‘Sorry, Cas, but…can you make him stop?’ he asked.

Bobby nodded in agreement, sticking his fingers in his ears and back out. ‘It’s annoying, and it _hurts_.’

Castiel sighed heavily and nodded. ‘Yes. Humans do have difficulty with our real voices… I’ll ask him to stop. He may not be in his body, so I suggest the two of you remain up here,’ he said before vanishing to the basement. He reappeared just outside the panic room and stared at the sight that greeted him.

Dean’s body lay lifeless in the middle of the floor. Curled protectively around him was Seraphiel, humming softly as he petted his vessel’s cheek with the tip of his tail.

Castiel stared in awe. None of the stories did the older angle justice. The inner light from his Grace was dim, certainly not enough to overpower the light cast by the holy fire. His wyvern-shaped body was sleek with scales that glittered like the night sky; his belly shone brightly in the palest hue of blue, the same color as the feathers shaping his ears. Castiel could just imagine what the blood-red wings would have looked like untouched.

His eyes drifted down to the long, pointed talons that had ripped into so many of their brothers and sisters. His gaze followed the burning mane that ran the serpentine length of Seraphiel’s body and rested on the tip of the tail. A small, hollow space was all that remained of where Seraphiel’s blade had been held.

Without Seraphiel blocking him, Castiel could judge the other angel’s true size, and he was…small. Smaller than any other angel he had met. Small, swift, and deadly. He finally understood how one angel could have caused so much damage.

‘Why did you let them do this to you?’ Castiel whispered. ‘You could have escaped. Fought them off…’

Seraphiel’s head shot up, and bright green eyes stared. He ducked his head and looked away. ‘ _Because Father commanded it_ ,’ he quietly replied. He winced as the fan above him shook from his voice.

Castiel frowned and tilted his head, quickly translating the older Enochian dialect. ‘How are you feeling?’

Seraphiel nudged his vessel with his long snout. ‘ _I can’t fix it_ ,’ he said.  He looked back up at Castiel. ‘ _I tried…kept it alive as long as I could, but… I don’t even have the power to keep a corpse moving. If wanted to kill me, now would be the best time._ ’

With a wave of his hand, Castiel lowered the flames. He stepped into the room, and Seraphiel struggled to stand. He watched sadly as Seraphiel scurried away and huddled against the wall. He approached the vessel and knelt down, giving it all his attention as he placed his hand on it. He looked up when he heard the soft click of claws on the floor. He smiled reassuringly at Seraphiel’s curious look.

‘ _You’re not…getting rid of me?_ ’ Seraphiel asked.

‘Of course not, Dean,’ Castiel replied. His smile widened as Seraphiel gave an excited flap of his wings. Seraphiel’s Grace slammed into him, filling him with love and thankfulness. Castiel breathed out a sigh of relief as he focused back on Dean’s body. It had worked. Seraphiel’s Grace was void of demonic energies. There was still the taint of Hell and sin, but it was purely Seraphiel. His Grace felt lighter, brighter, and full of so many interesting promises.

Castiel glanced up from healing Dean’s body. He blushed at the prone position Seraphiel had taken.

Seraphiel was stretched out on his back, exposing his pale stomach to Castiel. His wings were spread out, framing him and what he had to offer. His tail curled and flicked excitedly as he held Castiel’s stare.

Castiel couldn’t keep his eyes from wandering over Seraphiel’s body. He could easily imagine himself wrapping his own body around Seraphiel, nibbling on feathered ears. Finally, his eyes rested on the red wings, a glint of bright, pale blue shining out from the smallest stump. That hadn’t been there before. Not that he could recall. He remembered the pale feather in his pocket—his reminder that Seraphiel was worth redeeming.

‘ _Oh…uh… S-sorry…_ ,’ Seraphiel quickly apologized, folding his wings and rolling over into a sitting position. He stared at the floor as he pulled his Grace away from Castiel’s. ‘ _I just… I thought maybe… I dunno._ ’

Castiel reached out for Seraphiel’s Grace and tightly embraced it. ‘No, _I’m_ sorry,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t expecting… Certainly not from someone of your ranking.

Seraphiel snorted and shook his head, sending a flashing wave down his mane. ‘ _What rank?_ ’ he bitterly replied.

Castiel stood and gestured to the body on the floor. ‘Everything is as it should be,’ he said. ‘Dean, I… I would be honored.’

A blinding flash filled the basement as Seraphiel reclaimed his vessel. He took a moment to adjust to once again being confined in the human body. Everything was working properly. Castiel had done a great job repairing the damage Dean had caused. He tried to pull himself up, but found he didn’t have the strength. He gave up and stared up at Castiel. He was having a hard time focusing his eyes. He had no power, and his vessel had no residual energy of its own.

‘How do you feel?’ Castiel asked.

‘Dead,’ Dean slurred. ‘Numb…hungry. Haven’t eaten since yesterday.’

‘You shouldn’t need to—’

‘ _You_ might not need to eat, but _I_ do,’ Dean said, cutting Castiel off. ‘Especially when I’m this low… I can’t power my body on my own.’

‘I would offer to help, but…I don’t want anything but your own power to be flowing through you,’ Castiel said. He traced his fingers along Dean’s jaw and to his lips. ‘I…I really do think this will work.’

Dean let his eyes fall shut. He panicked when the feeling of sleep began to pull on him. His eyes flew open, and he reached desperately for Castiel. He clung onto Castiel’s arm as his heart raced. ‘I don’t wanna fall asleep,’ he whispered. ‘Not now…not yet… I… I need to talk to Sam first.’ His eyes were wide and pleading as he stared at Castiel. ‘I can’t be out of it when I… Not with the way I left things.’

Castiel nodded and pulled Dean’s arm over his shoulder as he helped Dean to stand. ‘Very well. But after, you _need_ to rest.’

The pair slowly made their way upstairs, Dean constantly shaking his head to avoid sleep. ‘Need some coffee,’ he mumbled as they reached the landing and started down the hall to the study.

Sam stood and rushed to Dean’s side the moment they entered the room. ‘Dean! Are you okay? Are you…’

‘Sane?’ Dean replied. ‘Yeah, I guess so… Tired as fuck. And hungry.’

‘There’s a Tombstone in the freezer,’ Bobby said. ‘Help yourself when yer ready.’

Dean squinted at Bobby in confusion before remembering what he had said earlier. ‘Oh… Huh. Good one,’ he mumbled.

Sam pulled a face at the reminder of what Dean had done, his eyes traveling over his brother’s neck to make sure there was no lingering damage.

Dean caught Sam’s stare and looked away. ‘Sorry ‘bout earlier… I…can’t say it was all a lie. But I…I am sorry you had to find out about it that way.’

Sam nodded, not sure what he could say or do to lessen the tension in the air. ‘Is… Are you sure she’s in Heaven?’ he quietly asked.

Dean’s eyes flicked up to Sam. ‘Yeah. Soul like that… Um…when… When you, uh, die…I can, well…someone can take you see her. Between me an’ Cas, we’re bound to know _someone_ that’d be willing to help out.’

Sam was struck by the thought. He looked away, trying to understand what Dean was offering. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around the idea that he could potentially see Jess again. Granted, much later—he hoped. He still missed her, but he had moved on. ‘Thanks. I guess.’

He looked back at Dean when a soft snore answered him. He shook his head as he looked over Dean’s body. The blood stains on Dean’s jeans were the only evidence of what had happened. ‘Is he gonna be okay?’

Castiel adjusted his grip on Dean. ‘I think a month would be enough time for him to regain a minimal amount of energy. He should be able to tap into Heaven by then,’ he replied.

‘So he’s outta commission until then?’ Bobby asked. He huffed at Castiel short nod. ‘Shit… We got a call from Ellen while you were down there. Looks like it’s just you ‘n’ me, Sam.’ He glanced at Castiel, measuring him up. ‘Unless you wanna lend a hand?’

‘Someone should keep an eye on Dean. In my experience, he’s impatient,’ Castiel said, earning an agreeing grunt from Bobby. ‘He may not be able to fly or use his power, but…I still would not trust him being left alone.’

‘Then stay by the phone,’ Bobby said as he motioned for Castiel to follow him.

Castiel handed Dean over to Sam before following Bobby into the kitchen and to the set of labeled phones.

‘Do not answer any of these. They’re already set up with voicemail, so don’t worry about it. _Dean_ can answer ‘em when he’s awake. The only one you need to worry ‘bout is this one,’ Bobby said as he placed a cordless phone into Castiel’s hand. ‘You uh…you _do_ know how to answer a phone, right?’

‘I’ve seen it done, yes.’

‘Good. If we end up in over our heads, you lock him up and come help. Got it?’

Castiel narrowed his eyes at Bobby, but nodded nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Also, I would greatly value some opinions. So…for later chapters I’ve already gotten at least one question for whether or not Sabriel will be a pairing. I’ve thought about it, and…I just don’t really see it happening. If anything, I’m leaning more towards…Lubriel? What are we calling Lucifer/Gabriel? Anyway, thoughts on this? It’s still up in the air, but as I get closer to Gabriel making an appearance, the more solid my choice has to be.
> 
> [Edit: As it seems the consensus so far is that people don't want Gabe going dark, I can guarantee that wouldn't happen, despite the pairing.]


	27. Chapter 27

Dean struggled to prop himself up on his elbows. A wave of dizziness hit him, and he clenched his eyes shut, riding out the sensation. He felt so numb and empty. It was a strange feeling for his Grace, considering how much his wings hurt. He brought them out and slowly unfolded them, wincing at how sore and stiff they were. He breathed a sigh when he managed to stretch them out and work out a little of the stiffness. Looking around, he recognized the room he was in as Bobby’s guest room. He tried to speak, but all that came out was a tired croak. He cleared his throat and tried again.

‘Sam? Sammy?’ he called, frowning when he didn’t hear Sam’s footsteps rushing to meet him.

‘They’re helping Ellen,’ Castiel replied as he entered the room, carrying a glass of water. He smiled as he caught sight of Dean’s wings. He hoped that his initial suspicion that they were beginning to grow back was right.

‘What happened?’ Dean asked. He took the glass, and it immediately slipped out of his fingers. He sighed in irritation and let himself drop back onto the bed.

‘I believe they’re up against War,’ Castiel said as he sat on the edge of the bed. He bent over and picked the empty glass off the ground then set it on the nightstand.

‘War as in War-War? Apocalypse-War? Four fucking _Horsemen_ War?!’ Dean rolled to his side and tried to push himself up. He grunted when Castiel pressed him back down. ‘Cas, I have to help them!’

‘The best way for you to help them is to get rest,’ Castiel said. He touched Dean’s cheek and brushed against Dean’s Grace, sending him reassurance.

‘I’m fine,’ Dean insisted. ‘If it really is War, then the rest won’t be far behind! I can’t just let them… We can do your stupid “tap into Heaven” test _after_ the apocalypse! Cas, I gotta help them! Gotta keep Sam safe!’

Dean watched helplessly as Castiel got off the bed and stretched his wings. In his current state, he was having trouble focusing. His mind jumped between thoughts of needing to keep Sam safe, and taking Castiel into his arms. He reached out, pleading with his Grace. He wasn’t shut out, but he couldn’t glean any thoughts from the other angel. ‘Cas…plea—’

Dean gasped as Castiel appeared on top of him, his fingers digging deeply into his shoulders. Castiel’s wings were flared out in a sign of domination. He stared up at Castiel, his breaths coming in shallow puffs. He couldn’t help it as his wings curved forward to brush against Castiel’s. He gave an uncertain smile as Castiel shuddered above him.

‘Two days ago, you were submitting to me,’ Castiel said calmly. ‘Is that what you want, or did you change your mind?’

Dean blinked up at Castiel. ‘Two days…’ He panicked and pushed at Castiel with his Grace, only to find his Grace being held as gently as possible by Castiel’s. ‘I have to…’ Dean tried to wriggle away, but Castiel’s grip tightened.

‘I’m not asking for you to obey, Dean,’ Castiel said gruffly. ‘But I _do_ need you to listen.’ He gave a harsh beat of his wings before stretching them back out.

Dean sucked in a shaky breath and shivered, his eyes drifting back to Castiel’s wings. The last time he had submitted himself to another angel…he was with Lucifer. He wanted this so much. He had thrown himself at Castiel earlier, willing to completely give himself over. Did he know what he was doing? Submitting to such a low ranking angel? Even Castiel had thought it was strange.

But now…here Castiel was, hovering above him, reminding Dean of what they would be entering into. He had been in a similar, more formal, position with Lucifer. He joined with Lucifer. Rebelled for him. Killed for him. Stood by his every choice, even when he thought there were better ones. Certainly, Lucifer’s first choice in a companion would have been better than Seraphiel. Definitely more vocal about his opinions than Seraphiel had been.

But Seraphiel had been made for Lucifer. He was the consolation prize, but he never let it get to him. Too much. He had always stood by Lucifer’s side and decisions. If he did it for Lucifer, could he do so for Castiel? Castiel had already Fallen for _him_. He gave up Heaven. Seraphiel had done the same for Lucifer, but he was turned away. Forced to return home and receive his punishment.

He couldn’t turn Castiel away. Couldn’t force Castiel to be on the run alone. Not when things in Heaven were so messed up. But he also had to make sure that Sam was safe with his own eyes.

He whined as Castiel shifted and placed a knee between his legs, forcing them apart. He panted as he spread his legs for Castiel and arched his back. He squirmed under Castiel, moaning for more as Castiel’s Grace pulsed against him. He cried out when Castiel ground against him.

‘Will you listen to me?’ Castiel asked huskily into Dean’s ear.

Dean nodded, writhing under Castiel. ‘I-I’ll listen,’ he replied. ‘No…promises, but…listen… Mmm…’ He moaned loudly when Castiel’s teeth ghosted over his neck, imitating what they would do in their true forms. He bared his neck tried to remain still as Castiel kissed and licked his way to Dean’s collarbone.

‘Do you submit to me?’ Castiel whispered. He frowned when Dean freed a shoulder from his grasp. Dean’s hand grabbed him by the back of the head and he was forced back up to meet Dean’s face. ‘Ser—Dean?’

Dean breathed raggedly, surprised by his sudden surge of energy. It was fading quickly, so he used his time as wisely as he could. ‘No,’ he grunted, stamping down the heartbreak he felt at Castiel’s sorrow. ‘No… Not this time. We stand as equals. We submit to _each other_ or not at all.’ He held his breath as his eyes flicked between Castiel’s. No other angel had done such a thing. In Heaven, it was all about rank. Obeying. Following. But they were on Earth. They didn’t have to follow Heaven’s rules. Not that Seraphiel was any good at that anyway.

Castiel caught Dean’s thoughts through his Grace and swallowed. Slowly, he reached up and tugged at his tie then moved his collar aside. He let his eyes fall shut as Dean pressed his lips against his collarbone, his Grace searing into Castiel’s, leaving a bright, burning mark behind.

Dean clung to Castiel, rubbing against him as the young angel made his way back down his neck. ‘Oh, God!’

In a moment of pain and bliss, Dean’s Grace was marked by Castiel. He didn’t know how he felt about Castiel leaving Lucifer’s own mark untouched.

‘Because it’s a part of you, and I love every part,’ Castiel whispered.

His body gave out, and he collapsed back against the bed, blinking slowly at Castiel. ‘You…don’t hate me for still loving him?’ he asked weakly.

Castiel leaned down, placing a soft kiss on Dean’s lips. He let his wings relax. ‘No. Father filled you with so much love. There’s plenty for everyone. And I know you don’t love him in that way. Not anymore.’ His Grace sifted through Dean, leaving traces of love in every corner. ‘I know you’re still worried about Sam. Believe me…if anything happens, I’ll take care of it,’ he promised. ‘I won’t let anything happen to your brother.’

Dean swallowed as he nodded. As much as Castiel meant it, he was no match against War. Or any of the Horsemen. They were old school. Castiel was…Castiel. At least Dean had some previous experience with them. ‘Can I get some food?’ he asked.

Castiel nodded and quickly removed himself from Dean.

Dean watched as Castiel disappeared into the hallway. He had about a minute. With everything he had, he pulled himself out of the bed and made his way to the window. He caught his breath before unlocking the latch and lifting the window up.

Leaning over the windowsill, he eyed the ground. Would he be able to land safely? Did he have enough strength to slow his fall? He brought his knee up and began climbing out the window when a light pressure touched the back of his head.

Dean’s head snapped around. No one was behind him. He cautiously reached out, finding Castiel was still in the kitchen. He grinned and jumped out the window, landing heavily on the ground below. He grinned to himself as he hurried around the corner of the house and to his car.

Which was not where it was supposed to be.  In the Impala’s place was a large, pumpkin-shaped carriage.

Dean’s wings and shoulders slumped in defeat as an obscenely pink and green flamingo skated by. ‘Oh, fuck you.’

He glared at the carriage. ‘Might as well make the most of this,’ he said as he opened the door and climbed inside. He grinned as his eyes traveled over his concocted dream-Castiel, dressed up in a red corset and devil horns. He straddled his dream-Castiel’s lap and fingered the horned headband. ‘This kinda suits you…’

Castiel raised his brow and cocked his head to the side. ‘I may have Fallen, but I have yet to join the ranks of Hell,’ he replied. ‘Or understand why you have me wearing this…costume.’

Dean frowned as he stared at Castiel. ‘You’re you? You’re here?’

Castiel nodded, his Grace brushing against Dean. ‘Partly.’

‘You zapped me,’ Dean said in a light, accusing tone.

‘You need to rest.’

Dean ran his hands over Castiel’s chest, not quite feeling the fabric of the corset. He tried to wake himself up, but could feel Castiel’s power keeping him unconscious. ‘Tell you what. I’ll rest if you go help Sam. Right now.’

He glanced up when he didn’t hear an answer. He reached out to find that his dream-Castiel was just a dream. A small plea drifted through his Grace, begging him to stay asleep. He didn’t know if it got through, but he sent a reply with everything he knew about War just as dream-Castiel pulled him forward and began nibbling on his ear. Castiel was right. He could use a few minutes of rest. Or an hour.

Dream-Castiel pushed Dean to the floor and started nuzzling his crotch. Definitely an hour.


	28. Chapter 28

Dean was slow to wake. As much as he wanted to stay asleep, he wanted nothing to do with the dream he just had. Reliving his exile from Heaven was not on the top of his to-do list. He reached out with his senses, to check if anyone had returned. He could feel Bobby downstairs, but nothing else. The sound of a page in a book being turned alerted him to a presence next to him. He turned his head and smiled at the sight of Sam sitting on a chair next to his bed, reading a book. ‘You’re okay,’ he said with a rough, but relieved, voice.

Sam jumped and looked up. ‘Dean!’ He stood and went straight to Dean’s side, helping his brother to sit up. ‘Hey, careful. Don’t stress yourself.’

‘I’m good,’ Dean said after clearing his throat. ‘I’m kinda hard to kill. But what about you? And Bobby? What happened?’

‘Yeah… It was a little more than we were expecting,’ Sam replied. ‘But…we stopped him. We got War’s ring.’

Dean felt lightheaded as Sam let go of him, and he swayed slightly as he laughed. ‘What’d you do? Chop his hand off?’ he said jokingly.

Sam laughed and looked away, giving a small nod and shrug.

‘Seriously? Awesome,’ Dean said. As he became more awake, he became more aware of the gnawing hunger in his stomach. He frowned, ignoring the sensation. ‘Did…did Cas help?’

‘Yeah. He was a big help, actually,’ Sam replied. ‘Probably would have been even more casualties if he hadn’t shown up. He saw right through War’s disguise and tricks.’

Dean smiled as he looked around the room. ‘Good. Um… Where is he?’ he asked. He reached out as far as he could with his Grace, but found no trace of Castiel. ‘Where is he?!’ he repeated, panicked. He tried to push himself out of bed, but a wave of dizziness hit him, and he fell over.

Sam caught Dean and forced him to stay on the bed. ‘He’s out looking for signs of the other Horsemen,’ he explained. Dean nodded, and he continued. ‘He’s got my phone. He wanted you to call when you woke up.’

‘Didn’t think to wake me up when he was here?’ Dean asked in confusion. ‘Why…why wouldn’t he…’

‘He wanted you to get as much rest as possible… So… How are you doing?’ Sam asked. He kept a careful eye on Dean and could see that Castiel’s absence was having quite an effect on him.

‘I’m fine,’ Dean replied. Why wasn’t Castiel by his side? What did he do _now_ to upset the angel?

‘Dean…’

Dean rolled his eyes with a heavy sigh. ‘I’m fine,’ he insisted. ‘I’m sore, I’m tired, and I’m fucking starving. Otherwise, I’m fine. Happy?’

‘Not really,’ Sam admitted. ‘I can help with the starving part. Bobby’s got some take out waiting. You want me to bring it up?’

Dean nodded, his mind going straight to Castiel. ‘And my phone.’

Sam smiled and reached into his coat pocket, retrieving Dean’s phone. He handed it over and chewed the inside of his cheek as Dean took it. ‘You…have a few missed calls,’ he said. ‘Same number, but no message.’

Dean stared at the phone. He had a pretty good idea about who had been calling him. He knew that he should probably tell Sam. Castiel, too. Especially if he was trying to turn over a new leaf and be honest with Sam, not run into all of the same problems all over again. He didn’t need Meg to be what Ruby was to Sam. And wasn’t he planning on telling Sam anyway? Before he had been…distracted.

‘Sam… I… I made a deal with Meg,’ he said shakily. He glanced up, and Sam was just staring at him with no expression. He quickly looked back down at his phone. ‘She’s working with Lucifer, and… I-I… I have it so she can’t say anything about us to him or…or hurt anyone we know. It’s a _good deal_. I wrote the contract myself. It’s just…just running messages back and forth. That’s all. Nothing…nothing  that would…’

‘I know,’ Sam said quietly.

Dean’s head shot up, and he had to clench his eyes shut as his dizziness was joined by a sudden headache. Being without any power whatsoever sucked.

‘Bobby told me. It’s…also why Castiel isn’t here,’ Sam said, looking away uncomfortably. ‘He was a little upset.’

‘A little,’ Dean said with a small, bitter laugh. ‘I… I still love him. I’m sorry… I just… I want to believe that I can get through to him. That he’ll listen. I guess…what Cas is tryin’ to do with me…’ He buried his head in his hands as the realization hit him. ‘God, I’m so fucking stupid.’

Sam squeezed Dean’s shoulder. ‘I’ll bring you up some food. You should…make your calls,’ he said. He felt a little better about Dean, but still felt uneasy about Dean’s roundabout contact with Lucifer.

Dean sighed as he listened to Sam leave the room and head down the hall. As much as he wanted to call Meg first, he really needed to call Castiel and come clean. He clutched at the blankets on the bed as he waited for Castiel to answer.

‘Hello, Dean.’

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you!’ Dean said in a rush.

‘Are you?’ Castiel asked, the irritation clear in his voice.

‘Yes,’ Dean quietly replied. ‘I…I told Sammy. And he…he said you already knew. Said Bobby told you guys.’ His heart beat quickly as he waited for Castiel to respond. As the silence dragged on, Dean began to feel panic settle over him.

‘You told him?’

‘Yeah… I don’t… I don’t want a ton of secrets in the way,’ Dean said. He closed his eyes and groaned softly as his headache seemed to intensify. ‘I know I don’t make the best decisions, but I…I need you guys to trust me. I can…I can show you the contract! I promise Meg can’t reveal our location to Lucifer.’

‘I know,’ Castiel replied, appearing beside Dean.

Dean opened his eyes and stared up at Castiel. He lightly touched Castiel’s Grace with his own and relaxed when Castiel sat on the bed, wrapping Dean in his Grace.

‘I looked at your Grace while you were asleep,’ Castiel said, looking away. ‘I was…upset when Bobby told me about Meg.’

Dean frowned as he flitted through Castiel’s Grace, finding bits of guilt and regret. ‘Cas…it’s okay,’ Dean said as he leaned forward and placed his hand on Castiel’s shoulder. ‘You had every right. I…I should have told you guys sooner. Well…at least Sam. You were…kinda dead at the time.’

Castiel laughed softly. ‘Yes. I suppose you haven’t had much time to tell me.’

‘Yeah… I think I was jonesin’ for a demon, and…you were dead, and she…she knew how to get in touch with Lucifer,’ Dean said. ‘I…I know I’ve said it before, but…I do believe he’s worth saving. That he _can_ be saved.’

Castiel nodded, reminding Dean along their entwined Graces that he felt the same way about Dean. ‘But, more importantly than your deal with Meg… Does Sam know?’ he asked. He poked through Dean’s Grace and focused his attention on Dean’s knowledge of Lucifer’s true vessel.

Dean’s eyes were wide as he shook his head. He stopped and clutched his head, shutting his eyes tightly. ‘I…I wanted to stop this. Before he has to find out.’

‘You should tell him,’ Castiel said. He scooted closer to Dean and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair.

‘He’s had enough bad news,’ Dean argued, leaning into the touch.

‘Dean…he deserves to know. He deserves to be prepared,’ Castiel pointed out.

‘But…’

‘Seraphiel.’

Dean flinched away and ducked his head. He was still torn between loving hearing his name on Castiel’s lips, and hating the reminder of who he used to be. He shifted his wings restlessly, wincing at the soreness that had returned.

‘You wish to be open and honest with your brother?’ Castiel asked. He waited for Dean to nod. ‘Then you must tell him.’

Dean looked up at Castiel, the misery he felt clear on his face. He shuddered as Castiel’s Grace gently caressed him. ‘I’ve done so much to protect him…’

‘And now he needs the knowledge that will allow him to protect himself,’ Castiel said. He stretched out a wing and let it settle against Dean’s wings.

Dean nodded as he breathed in shakily. ‘I’ll…I’ll tell him…,’ he whispered. He looked over as Sam entered the room, holding a tray of food. He took a few breaths, bracing himself for Sam’s reaction. ‘S-Sammy? I need to tell ya’ somethin’. Somethin’ real important.’

‘What’s that?’ Sam asked.

Dean eyed the tray for a moment. ‘You might wanna sit down…’

Sam shook his head. ‘Whatever it is, I think I can handle it.’

‘Not this.’

‘Dean.’

‘You… You’re Lucifer’s true vessel,’ Dean said. He winced as the tray and food Sam had been holding clattered loudly to the ground. The sound was loud in his ears, and made his head pound even more. Through the pain, he felt his stomach growl and wondered if he would ever get the chance to eat.

‘What? No…’ Sam slowly sank into the chair beside Dean’s bed. ‘It’s not…possible.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Dean whispered. He was barely aware of Castiel’s Grace sending him bursts of encouragement.

‘How…how long? How long have you known?’ Sam asked, staring at the floor.

Dean didn’t answer right away. ‘Since before I claimed this vessel. A…a pair of brothers. The eldest for Michael. The youngest… The youngest for Lucifer. No one was supposed to know,’ he explained. His anxiety and fear kicked up when Sam failed to react.

‘Not even all of Heaven knows,’ Castiel added. ‘For most of my time working under Zachariah, I had no idea about Michael’s true vessel.’

‘I…I don’t… I need to think about this,’ Sam said. His eyes darted across the floor as he digested the new information. It was bad enough that Dean, well, Dean’s _body_ , was Michael’s trued vessel, but finding out that _he_ was _Lucifer’s_? It made a sick sort of sense. And Dean had known the entire time.

‘Sammy…’ Dean reached his hand out to Sam, only to have it smacked away.

‘No. Don’t. Right now, you’re just Seraphiel. An angel that’s obsessed with his _ex_. I can’t… I can’t deal with this right now.’ Sam finally looked up to stare at Dean. ‘You were never gonna tell me, were you?’

Dean looked away, clutching his hand to his chest and shaking. His eyes were having trouble focusing. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered.

‘Have you learned _nothing_?’ Sam asked in disbelief.

‘That’s why I told you! Why I told you about Meg!’ Dean cried out. ‘I could have lied! I could have…’ He leaned forward, resting his weight against Castiel. He felt sick to his stomach, and he felt stranger than he ever had before.

Sam’s expression softened as he leaned back in his chair. ‘Dean…’

‘I’m trying! I’ve always tried to do good by you! I’ve protected you! Looked out for you when Dad couldn’t be bothered!’ Dean shouted as he forced himself to sit up and face Sam. He couldn’t focus his eyes or his mind. ‘I…I… Sammy… I just…’

‘Dean!’ Sam jumped out of his chair as Dean fell over.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, keeping him from falling off the bed. He looked up at Sam in bewilderment.

‘What’s wrong?’ Sam asked as he took Dean’s face in his hands and looked over his brother. ‘What happened?’

‘I…I’m not entirely certain,’ Castiel admitted.

‘W-what?!’ Panic rose in Sam. If _Castiel_ didn’t know what had happened…

‘I think…’ Castiel brushed his Grace along Dean’s and sighed in relief when Dean responded in a state of panic. ‘He’s all right. He just passed out. He should regain consciousness shortly, and I suggest he actually eat something when he does.’

Sam sagged heavily into the chair and ran his hand through his hair. ‘This is too much.’ He looked up when Castiel laughed and gave the angel a quizzical look. ‘What?’

‘Dean has never experienced this before,’ Castiel replied. ‘He’s quite frantic.’

‘Good,’ Sam said as he crossed his arms. ‘So…so what do I do? About me being Lucifer’s vessel, I mean.’

Castiel looked at Sam and tilted his head slightly. ‘Just…say “no” when he asks you to accept him.’

‘That’s…that’s all?’ Sam’s brows came together as he shook his head. ‘There has to be more to it than that.’

Castiel shook his head and looked back down at Dean as he held him. ‘An angel cannot take over without their vessel’s permission. Because of his corruption…Dean is the exception.’

‘But isn’t Lucifer just as…corrupted as Dean?’ Sam asked.

‘I shouldn’t think so,’ Castiel quietly replied. ‘Lucifer wouldn’t have been able to get up to as much…trouble as Dean did. Not while he was locked in the Cage. Lucifer is still all angel. Dean is…a very strange mix. Not many angels have spent so long amongst humans. Nor done the things that Dean has done.’

‘Then…as long I don’t say “yes,” Lucifer will never have his true vessel?’

Castiel nodded.

‘So…I don’t say “yes.”’


	29. Chapter 29

Dean was miserable. Castiel was off again, doing God knows what, and Sam and Bobby were treating him like he was a fragile doll. He had to be propped up since he had no strength of his own to sit up. His vessel was running on empty, and his Grace was struggling to keep his body awake long enough to even drink. It was bad enough that he needed help with everything but there was a special hatred for the straw. He felt so humiliated by the fact that Sam had to hold out a glass with a straw for him to drink from.

‘I hate this,’ he slurred as Sam offered the glass again.

‘You only have yourself to blame,’ Sam pointed out. ‘Cas says your body will take over once it’s nourished.’

Dean stared at the glass and sighed. ‘Yeah, upkeep’s minimal when you’re healthy…’

‘So get healthy,’ Sam said with an encouraging smile, once more lifting the glass. He smiled as Dean finally took a drink. ‘Your uh…your phone rang while you were sleeping,’ he said eventually.

Dean visibly stiffened and glanced sideways at Sam. ‘Yeah?’

‘I still don’t like it.’

‘I know,’ Dean said quietly.

Sam watched Dean for a moment before speaking up again. ‘Do you want me to call her back?’ he asked.

Dean slowly shook his head and winced. ‘No…the contract’s with me. She wouldn’t be able to tell you anything, and…she’d probably just hang up on you to avoid pissin’ me off.’

Sam pulled Dean’s phone out of his pocket and set it on Dean’s lap. ‘Well… It’s there when you can lift it,’ he said, his voice bordering on joking.

Dean gave a short laugh. ‘That might take a while. Shit… I hope…’ He trailed off and stared at the phone. He reached out with his Grace, hoping to find a sign of Castiel’s return. He could use the reassurance. ‘I can probably do speaker phone, but…’

Sam squeezed Dean’s shoulder as he stood. ‘I’ll give you some privacy,’ he said and picked up Dean’s phone. He dialed the number that had been calling once every few hours.

‘You don’t…have to. This kinda involves you, too,’ he said quietly as the phone rang. He was full of apprehension as Sam sat back down, setting the phone back on Dean’s lap.

‘Seraphiel!’ The relief in Meg’s voice was hard to miss.

‘Hey, Meg,’ Dean greeted. ‘Heard you were trying to get ahold of me.’

‘Where the Hell have you been?! It’s been days!’

‘I had some things to take care of,’ he replied. ‘So what did you need?’

‘Lucifer’s been reaming my ass about you! He wants you with him.’

‘I can’t do that, Meg,’ he said with a sigh. He glanced at Sam for support and immediately looked away. The frown Sam was sporting was all he needed to see to know Sam’s thoughts on _that_ matter.

‘Not to join him,’ Meg quickly assured. ‘I… He asked how you looked, and I…I-I told him about your wings… He didn’t take it well. He knew they were red and torn, but he didn’t know…’

‘Just how fucked up they are?’

‘He wants you with him so he can protect you,’ Meg said quietly.

‘I can protect myself!’ Dean shouted angrily. He flinched when Sam lightly touched his arm. ‘I’ve been on my own since… I don’t need…’

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. ‘He thought you might be stubborn about that… So, he wants to know who it was,’ Meg said.

‘There was more than one responsible,’ Dean bit out. ‘What’s he gonna do? March up to Heaven and hunt down every angel that ever looked at me wrong?’

‘Given the chance…’

‘No. Tell him I’m fine. I’ve…adapted. I don’t need his pity. I don’t need him to be my vengeance. I…when I _do_ eventually see him… I just want him to listen,’ Dean said, ending in whisper.

‘And when might that be?’

‘I don’t know. Not anytime soon. I need time to… Time to myself.’

‘All right. I’ll let him know. And, Seraphiel?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Please. Please, please, _please_ answer your phone sooner!’

‘Can’t make any promises,’ Dean said with a smile. He nodded for Sam to hang up the phone. ‘That went well.’

Sam furrowed his brows and thinned his lips. ‘You’re not gonna…go back to him, are you?’ he asked, not looking at Dean.

Dean looked over at Sam. ‘No. I want to, but no.’ He offered a grim smile when Sam met his eyes. ‘It’s hard, Sammy. He’s right there. Closest he’s been in…well, millennia. But…Cas makes it easier. If I didn’t have him, I think I probably would go runnin’ back, eventually. If only to keep him from comin’ after you.’

‘Cas said all I have to do is say “no”…’

‘Lucifer… He can be pretty convincing,’ Dean said softly. ‘I didn’t want to rebel. Didn’t think it was right. But I still stood by him. Still agreed to do it. Half of us that rebelled…we didn’t think it was the best option, but we still did it. He didn’t trick us. Didn’t lie. We knew what we were doing.’

Sam’s stomach twisted at the prospect. ‘I’ll never be his vessel,’ he promised. He felt the blood drain from his face at the sad look Dean gave him.

‘And I swore I’d never rebel for such a stupid reason.’

.-.-.-.-.

The weeks wore on, and Dean slowly gained his strength back. As Bobby used his contacts to hunt down signs of Lucifer and the Horsemen, Castiel bounced in and out on a self-imposed mission to locate God. Dean had tried to point out that it was futile. If their Father didn’t want to be found, then it was useless.

Castiel was growing frustrated. Dean may have been regaining his strength, but it only made him more of a handful. Every time he returned to Bobby’s house to check in, Dean would try to coax him into bed. Dean’s vessel may have gotten its strength back, but the angel’s Grace had yet to regain any true power. Certainly not enough to be properly intimate.

Dean had tried to convince Castiel that human intimacy was just as good. When Castiel finally relented, their session ended almost as soon as it had started. The moment Castiel touched Dean’s wings with his own, the other angel had hissed and pulled back sharply. It had thrown Dean into a depression, and Castiel was uncertain if he should mention that the reason for Dean’s aches and pains was due to the new growth of fresh, shimmering feathers. He decided to keep it to himself after peeking into Dean’s Grace and seeing how sensitive Dean was about his wings. Especially when he happened upon the memory of Seraphiel picking out every remaining clean feather in a fit of remorse.

The other half of Castiel’s frustration was coming from his inability to find their Father. He had gone so far as to sneak back into Heaven for information, but he had found nothing. None of his contacts knew anything. In a stroke of luck, he _did_ locate Seraphiel’s blade. He was surprised at how unguarded the forgotten relic was. Not to ignore the opportunity, he secreted it away, intent on returning it to its rightful owner when Seraphiel was able to call upon Heaven’s power once again.

In his frustration, he had tracked down Raphael, certain that the archangel would know _something_. The information he had received was less than comforting.

It was with that information that Castiel returned to the hunter’s house to find Sam and Dean in the living room, researching omens. Sam sat at the desk with his laptop, and Dean was sprawled over half the couch with a heavy book, flipping back and forth between pages. Neither looked up from what they were doing, but Dean did lightly graze Castiel’s Grace. ‘Dean…’

Dean looked up from the book he was flipping through, when Castiel’s Grace desperately clung to his own. ‘Cas. Cas, what’s wrong?’

Castiel dropped heavily onto the couch next to Dean. ‘I spoke with Raphael,’ he confessed. He felt Dean’s alarm rise and the gentle prods against his Grace, looking for any damage. He shook his head and placed his hand on Dean’s thigh. ‘I’m fine. I am unharmed. He may be upset when he finally gets out, though…’

‘You trapped him in holy oil, huh?’

Castiel nodded and looked up, catching Sam’s curious gaze. ‘Raphael claims that…that God is dead.’

Dean scoffed as he leaned back. ‘That son of a bitch is an idiot. Who else brought you back, huh? What was that light that got me to the plane? What other explanation is there?’

Castiel shifted his gaze to Dean. ‘Lucifer,’ he said above a whisper. Next to him, Dean stiffened, suddenly retracting his Grace. ‘What if Lucifer brought me back? Raphael had a compelling argument… Lucifer would want fallen angels for his army. And he would certainly want to keep Sam safe…’

Sam shifted uncomfortably in his chair. ‘I don’t… I don’t think I was ever in any danger at the chapel,’ he said, pulling Dean and Castiel’s attention to himself. ‘I’ve been… He’s been turning up in my dreams.’

‘He doesn’t know where we are, does he?’ Dean asked, sitting up straight.

Sam shook his head. ‘He seems convinced that I’m gonna let him take over, though.’

Dean sighed as he relaxed. ‘Just be careful, Sam. We can try finding some warding that’ll keep him out of your head.’ He shifted his attention back to Castiel. ‘As for you… I don’t think Lucifer has the power to bring you back. _I_ mighta been able to pull that off in my heyday, but he wouldn’t be able to. If he did manage to bring you back, it would just be a cheap copy. Like…like Lilith was. You wouldn’t be an angel. You wouldn’t be _you_.’

Castiel nodded stiffly. He felt better. Much better. Especially with Dean’s Grace flitting through his own, leaving weak, but bright, blasts of love and reassurance. He closed his eyes and let Dean’s Grace wrap around him. He breathed in slowly as Dean leaned over and kissed his neck. A cough drew his attention, and he opened his eyes to see Sam looking at the pair uncomfortably.

‘You don’t have to stay,’ Dean pointed out as he continued to kiss at Castiel’s neck. He smiled at Sam’s disgusted grunt and listened as his brother stomped out of the room and down the hall. Dean pushed against Castiel and brought his wings out. They were still sore to the touch, but he was willing to put up with a little discomfort to be with Castiel. He paused in his exploration of Castiel’s mouth at the look of wonder he was receiving. ‘What?’

Castiel shook his head dismissively and pulled Dean back down. ‘You’re just so beautiful.’

Dean flexed his wings, feeling the phantom pains of limbs that no longer existed. ‘No, I’m not.’

Graces thoroughly entwined, Castiel lightly placed his hands on Dean’s cheeks and kissed him. ‘Yes, you are, Seraphiel,’ he said. ‘You are the most beautiful angel I have ever seen.’

‘You’ve never seen Lucifer.’

‘I’ve seen him in your memories, and to me, _you_ are far more beautiful,’ Castiel said placing another loving kiss. He didn’t mention that Dean’s second set of wings were slowly growing back, sprouting soft tufts of downy feathers. ‘Enough talk. I shouldn’t stay long. Raphael _will_ come after me, and it would be best if he didn’t find out where you and your brother are.’

Dean didn’t have to be told twice. He pulled at Castiel’s clothing and set to work on undoing Castiel’s pants. In a flash, they were on the bed that Dean had been occupying for the past few weeks. Dean grunted as he shook his head. He sent a reprimanding flash through his Grace and set back to work on removing Castiel’s clothing. ‘Been lookin’ forward to this,’ he moaned.

Castiel gasped and squirmed as Dean kissed his way down. Ever since their encounter in the Crystal Caves, Castiel had been hoping to receive more of Dean’s physical attentions. He lightly grasped Dean’s hair as a warm mouth closed around his hardening cock.  ‘Oh!’

He was vaguely aware of Dean lifting his legs to rest on the other’s shoulders, too engrossed in the feeling of Dean licking and sucking at his cock and balls. ‘D-Dean… Ah!’ His eyes flew open as a slick finger slowly made its way past his sphincter. ‘W-what are…?’

Dean paused and looked up. ‘Is this okay? I can stop. Just thought you might wanna try it out? Since I still don’t think I can keep up Grace-wise…’

Castiel blinked curiously as he followed Dean’s thoughts. He smiled and spread his legs to give Dean better access. ‘Yes, we can do this,’ he replied. His smile shifted to a leer. ‘But _I_ get to take care of your Grace,’ he said. ‘I promise I’ll be gentle.’

Dean’s breath hitched and he nodded jerkily. ‘Y-yeah…’ His eyes fluttered shut as Castiel’s mark on his Grace flared up with an intense pulse of need. He concentrated as he proceeded to work on loosening up Castiel. He faltered as he found his fingers wet with lube he had yet to grab. ‘Eager much?’

‘Very,’ Castiel admitted. He ran his Grace along Dean’s, dipping in and out, earning faint pulses of want in response. Dean shifted above him, and as Dean positioned himself, Castiel readied. Dean slowly, gently entered Castiel, whispering soothing, loving words. When Dean’s cock was fully sheathed, Castiel let loose with every bit of love and desire he could muster, piercing straight to the core of Dean’s Grace.

Dean’s arms gave out, and he fell against Castiel’s chest, gasping as he twitched against the young angel. He cried out in ecstasy as Castiel’s Grace slowly moved through his own, spreading out to touch and lap against ever corner of his being, leaving bits of smug pleasure in its wake.

‘I’m new to this, but shouldn’t you be moving?’ Castiel asked with a teasing grin.

Dean let out a short laugh and pushed himself back up. ‘Yeah. Just wasn’t expecting that,’ he said as he began to pull out and slowly push back in. As he moved, Castiel’s Grace intensified its exploration, causing Dean pick up the pace. ‘C-Cas…’

Castiel ran his hand down Dean’s chest as he watched Dean move above him. He was aware of the pleasure his body was receiving, but most of his concentration was on Dean’s Grace. He pulled Dean down for a kiss and matched Dean’s thrusts with burst after burst of needy desire. He wanted Dean fully and sent every selfish wish and want through to Dean.

Dean groaned as his thrusts came quicker. ‘Cas… C-Castiel… Mmm… Gonna… Oh, fuck. A-again!’

Castiel moved in time with Dean. He felt his body go over the edge, and he translated the physical feeling of his orgasm along his Grace and pressed it gently against his mark on Seraphiel. He smiled lovingly up at Dean and moaned softly at the sensation of Dean’s seed spilling into him.

Dean gasped for air, his arms barely able to hold him upright. He had just experienced the most intense orgasm of his life. Both as a human and as an angel. ‘I-if that was you being gentle…then…oh, fuck.’

He slowly pulled out with a soft hiss and let Castiel pull him down. He only winced a little as Castiel rolled them over and straddled his hips. He stared up at Castiel, dazed. ‘Can we do that again?’

Castiel chuckled and bent down to kiss the tip of Dean’s nose. ‘Once you’re better, yes.’

Dean frowned, his brows coming together. ‘You’re about to leave.’

‘As much as I want to, I can’t stay here,’ Castiel replied. ‘I would be putting you and Sam in danger.’

Dean sighed and nodded. ‘Don’t be a stranger, okay?’

Castiel left little jolts of love and happiness behind as he withdrew his Grace from Dean, his smile growing wider as Dean writhed beneath him. ‘It would be rather hard for me be a stranger at this point. Don’t you agree?’

Dean slapped Castiel’s shoulder, grinning. ‘I mean: Come back and see me sometime!’

‘I promise,’ Castiel swore before vanishing.

Dean let out a long breath as he stared at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and stretched out his arms and brought his wings forward to work out some of the kinks. He opened his eyes to glare at his wings for hurting so much, and his heart stopped. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of white. Slowly, he turned his head and saw fresh feathers, glistening with and inner light, crowning part of a limb that wasn’t supposed to be there.

‘S… Sa...’ He choked on his words as he struggled up. ‘Oh, God. Fuck. No… S-Sammy! Cas! Bobby! _Someone_?!’


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue from Changing Channels.

Sam and Bobby rushed into the room, expecting the worst. ‘Dean, what’s—God, pull your pants back on!’

Dean hurriedly hoisted his jeans up and pointed over his shoulder. ‘Something’s wrong with me!’

Sam and Bobby exchanged confused looks. ‘And that would be…?’ Bobby prompted.

Dean looked over his shoulder and stared at the white feathers. ‘They’re…well… Oh. You can’t see.’ The other men shook their heads. ‘Right…’ Dean bit his lip as he brought a wing forward, casting shadows across the walls. He reached up and plucked one of the soft white feathers from his wing, wincing.

Sam sucked in a breath as a feather materialized between his brother’s fingers. ‘That’s… Is that… _yours_?’ he asked softly as he stepped closer to get a better look, Bobby right behind. ‘But you said that…’

‘It’s _wrong_!’ Dean shouted. ‘It’s my punishment! They’re not supposed to grow back! They _can’t_ grow back!’ He flapped his wings in agitation, sending a gust of wind through the room. He released the feather and reached over shoulder, grabbing a handful of the shimmering feathers. As he gave them a determined tug, Sam’s hands clasped around his fist. He looked into Sam’s worried eyes and slowly unclenched his hand. ‘What’s wrong with me?’

Sam gave Dean a small smile. ‘Doesn’t sound like anything’s wrong,’ he replied. ‘Maybe this reset’s helping?’

‘I don’t…’ Dean pulled away and held up his hand. He concentrated a small amount of the power he could muster and his fingertips crackled with black and red energy. He let out a soft sigh then gasped as the white sparks from before burst forth. ‘It’s not resetting my Grace,’ he said quietly. He shook his hand out, avoiding Sam and Bobby’s gaze.

‘Whaddya mean?’ Bobby asked as he bent down and retrieved Dean’s feather. He twisted it between his fingers, examining it. It looked like a normal, white feather, but, as he turned it, he could just make out an inner light that was fading.

‘My wings started acting up _before_ this. My power, too…’

‘Those white sparks… Dean, it’s _obvious_ ,’ Sam said with a soft laugh, shaking his head. ‘You’re getting _better_.’

Dean stared at Sam as he readjusted his wings, trying to accommodate the new growth. ‘How is this _better_? This fucking _hurts_!’

‘Well…maybe… Maybe it’s all your good deeds?’ Sam said, reaching for an explanation.

‘ _What_ good deeds?’ Dean asked as he paced.

‘Well, I’m sure all the folks you two have helped count towards _somethin_ ’,’ Bobby said.

Dean gave Bobby a doubtful look. ‘Twenty years of huntin’ don’t make up for the shit I’ve done. It has to be somethin’ else… Fuck. Maybe Hell did somethin’ to me… You don’t think I caught anything?’ he asked, looking between the two men with a disgusted look.

‘Do angels even _get_ diseases?’ Bobby asked.

Dean shook his head. ‘Anything that can go wrong with an angel’s Grace, I’ve already got… So I guess not that…’

‘Maybe…God’s forgiven you?’ Sam suggested.

Dean glared at Sam. ‘Why doesn’t He say it to my face, then? Let me go back home?’ he asked angrily. ‘The _least_ he could do is fucking _acknowledge my existence_!’

‘Dean… Why can’t you ever accept anything that’s good?’ Sam asked. He reached out and forced Dean to stop pacing.

‘Cas said something similar once…,’ Dean quietly admitted. ‘Good things just don’t happen to me, Sam.’

‘How ‘bout something to take your mind off things?’ Bobby said. ‘I’ll be honest… Not sure I trust you to not fall right back into bad habits.’

Dean ran his hand over his face and glanced at his wings. ‘No… I’m good. I feel…great. Really great. I can do at least as good as a human. Just…waiting to recharge.’ He watched as Sam and Bobby exchanged a silent look. ‘I could use the distraction,’ he said.

Sam gave Bobby a shrug. ‘I’ll keep an eye on him.’

‘Yeah. ‘Cuz you two keepin’ an eye on each other always works out well,’ Bobby scoffed. ‘Fine,’ he relented after the pathetic look Dean gave him. ‘You got your choice: werewolf, vamp nest, or a Trickster. Which one are you least likely to snack on?’

‘Trickster?’ Sam asked. ‘I thought Rufus was handling that?’

‘Keeps givin’ him the slip and messin’ with him,’ Bobby explained.

‘I like Tricksters,’ Dean replied. ‘They’re always fun.’ He looked to Sam with a grin. ‘Remember that one that made you think I died a million times?’

Sam grimaced at the memories. ‘Yes,’ he bit out. ‘I was stuck in that time loop for—’

‘Not a time loop,’ Dean cut in. ‘Not even angels can manipulate time. He just fucked with your head.’

‘But it…it was so _real_ ,’ Sam said.

‘Hey, when I’m back up to snuff, I’ll make you think you went to Woodstock.’ Dean caught Bobby’s interested gaze. ‘You, too, Bobby. All the hippies you could ever want.’

Sam shook his head, still not quite believing. ‘But…’

‘You’re tellin’ me you’ve never thought a dream was real? No matter how insanely _fucked up_ it gets?’ Dean asked. ‘Hell, _I’ve_ had that problem, and _I know better_.’

.-.-.-.-.

Sam glanced around deserted area in front of the warehouse. ‘Do we have the right place?’ he asked.

Dean nodded with a wide grin. ‘Won’t say it’s a trap, but he’s definitely expecting us,’ he replied. ‘This is gonna be fun.’

Sam shook his head in resignation as he followed Dean up to the warehouse and through the door. And right into a hospital. He was disoriented and confused as he looked down to find himself and Dean wearing lab coats. He stared at Dean in alarm when his brother let out a delighted squeal after opening a door to a janitor’s closet.

‘What…’ He trailed off as a familiar looking female doctor marched up to him. He wasn’t expecting it when she slapped him, hard. ‘Ow!’

‘Seriously?’ the doctor said.

Sam glanced at her nametag. ‘Dr. Piccolo’ read the tag. He didn’t recognize the name. ‘What…?’

‘Seriously?’ Dr. Piccolo repeated. ‘You’re brilliant. You know that? And a coward. You’re a brilliant coward!’

Dean grinned happily as Sam floundered, only to be slapped again before the pretty doctor stalked off. ‘This is great,’ he said as he watched her.

‘What?’ Sam asked, bewildered as he rubbed his cheek.

‘That’s Dr. Piccolo,’ Dean explained as he pointed after the doctor. ‘The sexy, yet earnest doctor at…’ he paused dramatically and held his arm open to the sign behind the reception desk. ‘Seattle Mercy Hospital.’

‘Dean,’ Sam said, getting Dean’s attention. ‘What are you talking about?’

Dean smiled at Sam. ‘The doctor getups. The…the sexy interns. The “seriously”s,’ he explained. He sighed happily as he looked around. Maybe this trickster would be worth keeping around. He headed off in a random direction. ‘This is fuckin’ _awesome_.’

‘What?! What’s “awesome”? What’s going on?’ Sam asked as he followed Dean down a hallway.

‘We’re in Dr. Sexy, MD!’ Dean excitedly replied. His smile slowly turned into a frown. Something wasn’t right. ‘Wait… Dude, what the hell…’

‘I don't know,’ Sam replied, looking through a window at a doctor making out with her patient.

‘No, seriously, _what the hell_ ,’ Dean repeated as he spun around. Just on the edge of his senses was something else. If they really were dealing with a Trickster, then it was very powerful one. Quite possibly the strongest he had ever come across.

‘I don't know,’ Sam said, exasperated.

‘One theory. Any theory,’ Dean said, mostly to himself as his eyes caught on familiar details.

‘Uh, the Trickster trapped us in TV Land,’ Sam said, waving to their surroundings.

Dean slowly shook his head. ‘That’s… No. That’s stupid.’

‘ _You're_ the one who said we're on  _Dr. Sexy, MD_ ,’ Sam pointed out.

‘Yeah, but TV land isn't TV Land. I mean, there's actors and…and lights and crew members. Y’know? _This_ …looks real,’ Dean said, running his hand down a wall. He refrained from saying how it was messing with his senses as well.

Sam caught the pause. ‘It can't be. Dean, how can this possibly be real?’ he asked. If Dean was unsettled, then that was not a good sign. Not when Dean had been so giddy about encountering a Trickster again.

‘I don't know,’ Dean muttered as a doctor walked past and greeted the brothers. ‘There goes Dr. Wang. The sexy but arrogant heart surgeon,’ he said as he watched her. His eyes landed on a man sitting on a gurney at the end of the hall. ‘And there's Johnny Drake. Oh, he's not even alive… He's a ghost in the mind of…of her. The sexy yet neurotic doctor over there,’ he said, pointing as a doctor sat on the gurney next the so-called ghost.

‘So...this show has ghosts?’ Sam asked. He was having a hard time keeping up with Dean’s train of thought.  ‘Why?’

‘I don't know. It is compelling,’ Dean said defensively.

‘Is this what you’ve been doing for the past few weeks?’ Sam said teasingly.

‘No. No, of course not. Shut up.’ Dean looked away from Sam in embarrassment. He was torn between enjoying the illusion and doing whatever he could to tear it all down. But what _could_ he do? What would happen if he revealed himself? Would the Trickster turn tail and run? Or would it up the torment? Were they even dealing with a Trickster?

His thoughts came to a screeching halt as a male doctor with dark hair and stubble headed towards them. ‘Oh boy,’ he breathed. He had indulged in a fantasy or two, guiding his dreams to the moment where he would get to meet Dr. Palmer. Preferably in an elevator.

‘What?’ Sam asked, his eyes flicking between the approaching doctor and Dean.

‘It's him.’

‘Who?’ As concerned as Sam felt, he was also amused at how star struck his ages-old angel of a brother looked.

‘It's him, it's Dr. Sexy,’ Dean said, his heart picking up in pace. Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t reveal his cards just yet. Not if it meant he got a chance to mess around with Dr. ‘Sexy’ Palmer.

Dr. Palmer came up to the pair of brothers and addressed Dean. ‘Doctor.’

Dean smiled as he bit his lip and looked down nervously. ‘Doctor,’ he replied. His brows furrowed as he took in the plain shoes that the doctor was wearing. He very carefully reached out to the being in front of him as it spoke to Sam. He elbowed Sam, hoping that Sam would be able to distract the doctor more.

He looked back up as the doctor spoke to him again.

‘You want to give me one good reason why you defied my direct order to do the experimental face transplant on Mrs. Biehl?’ Dr. Palmer asked Dean.

Dean glanced at Sam, his senses still trying to map out what they were dealing with. Luckily, it was too distracted with keeping up the illusion to notice Dean poking at it. What he found confused him more. It felt like a Trickster, but not one powerful enough to pull off anything that Sam and Dean were experiencing. It was like the generic human façade that Dean exuded when anything brushed against his own core being. ‘One reason?’

Dr. Palmer nodded, and Sam gave Dean a worried look.

‘Sure…’ Dean quickly grabbed the doctor by the lapels of his lab coat and pushed him against the wall. ‘Let’s start with the fact that you’re not Dr. Sexy!’

‘You're crazy!’ Dr. Palmer exclaimed.

‘Really? Because I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy _sexy_ is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. Not tennis shoes,’ Dean pointed out. He caught Sam’s knowing grin out of the corner of his eye. ‘It's a guilty pleasure. I’ve earned it!’

‘Call security,’ Dr. Palmer said to a passing intern.

‘Yeah, go ahead, pal. See, we _know_ who you are,’ Dean said. He hoped he wouldn’t have to reveal himself. That the Trickster, if that really was what they had on their hands, would want to cut a deal and let each be on their way.

A couple doctors and a security guard were headed their way when everyone froze. Dean relaxed a little. Maybe things were finally going according to plan. He looked back at Dr. Palmer to see the doctor smirk, his features shifting into that of the familiar Trickster they had dealt with before. Irritation flared up in Dean.

‘You guys are getting better!’ the Trickster said with a pleased grin. ‘Was hopin’ you’d get my invite.’

Dean’s eyes narrowed as his fists tightened on the Trickster’s collar.

‘Wait. You wanted _us_ to come!’ Sam said. ‘Why?!’

‘You guys are _fun_! A lot more fun than the other yahoos I’ve been playing with,’ the Trickster replied. His smile froze as a feeling of darkness and corruption swept over him. There was something achingly familiar there, too. ‘Uh… I’d love to stay and chat, but…’

‘What’s wrong?’ Dean asked, tilting his head. ‘Got somewhere to go?’

The Trickster’s eyes darted around, and, one-by-one, the doctors and interns flashed out of existence and the corridors shortened. ‘You guys, too… We should leave,’ he said, his eyes betraying his worry.

Dean renewed his grip on the Trickster and shoved him further up the wall. He grinned up at his captive and unfurled his wings. ‘But you wanted us here. I thought you wanted to _play_ ,’ Dean said lowly.

The Trickster stared at the tattered, blood-red wings and sagged in Dean’s hold. Everything vanished, and he was left dangling by his coat collar. ‘Oh, baby brother…,’ he said sadly.


	31. Chapter 31

‘Oh, baby brother…,’ the Trickster said sadly. He gasped as he was suddenly dropped. He landed on his rump and stared up at Dean. The wings suddenly retracted, and there was no sign of the fallen angel. He reached out with his senses and only felt a human presence. He eyed Dean warily. ‘Dean,’ he said carefully, ‘who have you been talking to?’

Dean took a step back, shaking his head. ‘Who are you?’ he whispered.

The Trickster slowly stood, looking between the two brothers. ‘You know about this?’ he asked Sam, seeing that Sam’s shocked reaction was aimed toward himself and not Dean.

Dean held his hand up before Sam could answer. ‘No. _You_ first. Who are you? ‘Cuz you sure as fuck ain’t a Trickster.’

The Trickster laughed in disbelief as he shook his head. ‘Dean Winchester… There’s a shit ton of stuff goin’ over the airwaves about you turning down Michael… And you go and let in _Seraphiel_?! Do you have _any_ idea who he is? _What_ he is?!’ he shouted.

Dean bristled as he glared, not answering. He could feel the Grace of an angel lightly touching him, seeking out Seraphiel, but careful to hide its own identity. If he wanted to find out who they were up against, he’d have to let the angel in. Dean took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.

Bright, loving, and full of mischief, Dean instantly recognized Gabriel’s Grace. He immediately pushed Gabriel out and edged away as Gabriel drew closer, looking at him curiously.

‘Where… It’s just _you_ in there,’ Gabriel said in awe. ‘How’d you pull _that_ off?’

‘Stillborn,’ Dean replied, trying to keep distance between himself and Gabriel.

‘But you need permission!’ Gabriel argued. He looked at Sam, who was watching with a slightly amused smile. He ran his Grace along Sam. To his relief, he found Sam to be completely human. Tainted, but all human.

Dean looked away uncomfortably. ‘Not me,’ he quietly admitted. He sucked in a breath as Gabriel’s Grace poked at him again. There was no hate, just an intense curiosity. He tried to brush Gabriel off, but his brother was persistent. ‘Knock it off!’

Gabriel vanished from in front of Dean and reappeared behind him, looking over the other angel. ‘But this is…this is…’

Dean spun around to face Gabriel. ‘Wrong! I know! Quit poking me!’

‘Not _wrong_ … You don’t feel wrong…just…different,’ Gabriel replied distractedly as he circled Dean.

Dean looked to Sam helplessly. He gasped as Gabriel pulled him into a tight hug. In his moment of shock, Gabriel weaseled his way into his Grace and was poking around in every corner he could reach. He tried to push Gabriel out again, but to no avail. He resigned to his fate, not wanting to waste what little energy he had on a battle he had no hope of winning. He grimaced as Gabriel reprimanded him for his past actions and sniggered over the occasional prank.

Eventually, Gabriel pulled back and held Dean at arm’s length. He was surprised to find how much matched the rumors and what had been blown out of proportion. ‘Huh… So…Dad _let_ this happen?’ he asked.

Dean shrugged. ‘Unless He’s gone…,’ he softly replied. ‘But…I don’t know. Things are so fucked up right now.’

Gabriel nodded in agreement. ‘Yeah… Well, congratulations, Seraphiel,’ he said, clapping Dean on the back. ‘You managed to fuck up the apocalypse before it even started!’

‘I fuck up a lot of things,’ Dean grumbled.

Sam approached the pair. ‘Is everything…okay?’ he asked.

Dean sifted through Gabriel’s Grace, checking to see if the other had any plans to blow his cover.

‘Only if you turn me in first,’ Gabriel answered.

Dean nodded and faced Sam. ‘We’re good… Gabriel’s…’

‘Gabriel? _Gabriel_?!’ Sam said incredulously. ‘Shouldn’t he be working with _Michael_?!’

‘Well…’ Gabriel rubbed the back of his neck, looking away.

‘He ran away like a coward,’ Dean supplied, making Gabriel flinch. ‘Just before the rebellion started, he hightailed it out of there.’

‘Do you have any idea what it was like?!’ Gabriel shouted as he brought out his wings. Three pairs of shimmering gold wings spread out threateningly, and Dean stepped back, flashing his own wings. ‘The fighting was bad enough _before_ Lucifer rebelled! Even before Dad made _you_ … You were _made_ for Lucifer!’

‘Made to do _what_?’ Dean growled as he fought against the dull pain in his wings. He and Gabriel circled each other as Sam slowly backed away. ‘You left, and _I_ had to pick up the pieces. So what if I was _made_ for him? He loved _you_ more than he _ever_ loved me!’

‘Yet he didn’t hesitate to put his mark on you,’ Gabriel hissed, jabbing his Grace harshly against where Lucifer’s Grace had burned into Seraphiel’s. ‘I wasn’t good enough for him!’

‘You all but _told_ him to!’ Dean winced as the strain on his wings built up. They shook as he held them out, refusing to back down. ‘You have no idea how much that hurt him…’

Gabriel scoffed, his Grace still lingering on Lucifer’s mark. ‘He had a funny way of showing it…’ His eyes narrowed as his Grace brushed against another angel’s mark. A much fresher one. ‘What… Castiel?! How? When did…?’ He stared at Dean in shock. ‘W-when did you run into Castiel?’

Dean warily lowered his wings as Gabriel’s folded. ‘What _about_ Cas?’

‘He…’ Gabriel swallowed, uncertain if he should tell Seraphiel what he knew.

‘Spit it out, Gabriel,’ Dean growled. ‘Does it have anything to do with him being brought back?’

‘Brought back? He _died_?!’

Dean nodded. ‘Died buyin’ me some time. Then he turns back up. Good as new,’ he explained.

Gabriel frowned as he stared at Dean. ‘He… He was…made for…you.’

Dean’s breath left him. ‘W-why?’ he stuttered.

‘How should _I_ know?!’ Gabriel huffed. ‘After you were banished, Dad tracked me down just to show me a new angel he made. The _last_ angel he ever made… And then He said it was for you, and…let me go back to Earth. Said I’d be left alone if I just delivered a message. That was the last I ever saw of Him.’

‘Well, that’s dumb!’ Dean said, reeling.

Gabriel crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. ‘It was like He made you a Christmas card! Fuck! Castiel _is_ a Christmas card!’

‘That doesn’t explain _why_ he was made! _Or_ me!’ Dean shouted, throwing his hands up in frustration. ‘Maybe if I had a _clue_ , I could fix everything!’

‘You can’t fix the apocalypse, Seraphiel,’ Gabriel said. ‘It’s been foretold. It’s part of God’s plan. Nothing you do can stop this.’

‘Yeah? Well, _God’s plan_? It sucks. I’ve already proved a prophet wrong. What’s stopping me from derailing Dad’s fucked up plan? You?’ Dean asked as drew closer to Gabriel, daring the other angel to argue. ‘Just whose side _are_ you on?’

Gabriel hesitated. If Seraphiel could go against the words of a prophet, then what did that mean for the rest of the apocalypse? Could his fallen brother _really_ put everything right? He remembered his Father saying that He had big plans for Seraphiel. Was this what He meant?

Gabriel could remember when his Father had summoned him to show him the newly made angel. Seraphiel had been so small, barely larger than the rest of the Seraphim he had been named for. God had said how Seraphiel represented the Earth. So beautiful and full of such potential. The scales of his back shone like the night sky, his belly and wings gave off the light of the morning star, and the ridge of his back flickered with the raging fires of Sol. But it was Seraphiel’s expressive eyes that had won Gabriel’s heart. They were flecked with every shade of green that grew on God’s young planet. Seraphiel was day, night, and life, wrapped up in a happy ball of energy that sang so many praises for God and His creations. And then his Father told him who Seraphiel had been made for. And He had said it with such love. And so Gabriel had given up his desire to remain by Lucifer’s side and distanced himself as much as possible, not wanting to interfere.

For a time, Lucifer had calmed down. It was when whispers of rebellion began drifting around that Gabriel left Heaven to live amongst the humans. They were more complicated than angels, but so much easier to deal with. They were imaginative and full of passion and life. Gabriel fell in love with his Father’s youngest creations the moment he landed on Earth.

‘I’m on… I don’t know,’ Gabriel quietly replied. ‘Not Michael’s. Not Lucifer’s. I…just want the fighting to _stop_.’

‘At what cost?’ a new voice asked.

The pair of angels quickly turned to look at the newcomer. They both looked uncomfortable upon seeing Castiel standing next to Sam.

‘Cas… How long have you been here?’ Dean asked carefully.

‘Long enough,’ Castiel replied indifferently. He directed his attention back to Gabriel. ‘Well, Gabriel?’

Gabriel shuffled his feet and readjusted his wings. ‘Preferably…if one just kills the other?’ he tried. ‘Like it’s supposed to happen.’

‘And they’ll take out _everyone_ if it goes down like that,’ Dean pointed out.

Gabriel shrugged as he looked away. ‘At least it’ll finally be _over_.’

‘You’d let the world be _destroyed_ just so you didn’t have to deal with your brothers fighting?!’ Sam exclaimed.

‘Like there’s any other choice!’ Gabriel cried out.

‘There’s _always_ a choice!’ Dean argued. ‘I _chose_ to rebel. I _chose_ to take over this body. I _chose_ not to just end this bloodline. Had the perfect chance, too. Coulda made it so there was no bringing Sam back to life,’ he said, avoiding Sam’s eyes. ‘But I chose _him_ over my own selfishness. And, right now, I’m choosin’ to stop this.’

Gabriel’s Grace was still probing through Seraphiel’s, and he felt the truth and conviction of Seraphiel’s words. He reached out to Castiel and found the younger angel’s Grace marked by Dean. He gave Castiel a curious gaze and looked back at Dean. ‘I thought he had… You claimed _each other_?! How does _that_ work?!’

‘Quite well, actually,’ Castiel replied.

‘What does he mean by “claimed”?’ Sam asked.

‘It’s hard to explain,’ Dean said. ‘We’re uh…devoted to each other? But the way we did it…neither of us has more say.’

‘So…you’re married?’ Sam asked, giving Dean a sly smile.

‘Married _and_ divorced, according to that logic,’ Gabriel said. ‘ _And_ a boyfriend stealing hussy.’

‘ _You_ backed off!  You practically _threw_ me at him!’ Dean snapped.

Castiel grimaced as the two older angels held their wings out aggressively. ‘I should stop this… Before Dean gets himself hurt.’

Sam looked to Castiel in concern. ‘Are they gonna fight?’ he quietly asked.

Castiel shook his head. ‘I won’t let it come to that, but I also don’t want him to strain himself too much.’

‘C’mon, Serie,’ Gabriel goaded. ‘Let’s see whatcha got.’

‘I won’t fight you, Gabriel,’ Dean said gruffly. He tried to back away without it seeming like he was backing down.

‘You’re the one that wants to stop the apocalypse. If you can’t handle me, what makes you think you can fight Michael?’ Gabriel asked. ‘And you can bet your ass he’ll fight you for that vessel.’

‘Too bad it won’t work,’ Dean shot back.

‘Oh, I’m sure they could find a way to make it work,’ Gabriel replied. ‘You know well as I do that Mikey’ll do everything in his power to play his part in Dad’s plan.’

‘Then he’ll just have a rotting corpse on his hands. The soul no longer has rights to this body, and I can’t give permission,’ Dean said. His wings were visibly shaking. He gave them a quick flap to distract from the shaking. Unfortunately, Gabriel took that as his cue to attack.

Gabriel surged forward, and instantly found Castiel blocking his path. He didn’t know what to make of the young angel. Castiel simply stood between him and Dean with a calm expression. His wings were folded, and his hands were by his sides. Despite the indifferent posture, Gabriel knew that Castiel would strike back if needed. ‘Castiel, move!’

‘No.’ Castiel caressed Dean’s Grace reassuringly, and Dean reluctantly calmed down.

Gabriel frowned as Dean all but collapsed against Castiel. ‘What’s wrong with him?’ he asked.

‘ _Besides_ the obvious?’ Dean replied with a bitter laugh. He pushed off of Castiel. ‘Nothing. I’m _fine_.’

‘He’s recuperating,’ Castiel said. He shrugged at the reprimanding pinch his Grace received.

Gabriel gingerly poked at Seraphiel’s Grace, looking for an answer. He ignored the tired shoves as he found what he was looking for. ‘Demons?! Geez, you two really _are_ a pair,’ he said looking between Sam and Dean. Both brothers had the decency to look embarrassed. ‘Anyway, this doesn’t change what I said. How are you gonna fight if you _can’t_?’

Dean heaved a sigh. ‘I’m hoping I’ll be able to _talk_ to Lucifer. Get him to listen to me…’

‘ _Nice_ plane,’ Gabriel said sarcastically.

‘What else can we do?’ Sam asked.

‘Lock him back up,’ Gabriel replied. He caught Dean’s sour look. ‘It’s the best option! He won’t be able to do any damage, and Michael won’t be able to get to him. It’ll be just like it’s always been.’

‘I don’t like that plan,’ Dean said, crossing his arms. His wings fidgeted as he had to keep adjusting to find a comfortable position. ‘Jesus! There can’t be more growth already!’ he shouted as he looked over his shoulder. Everything looked the same. He faced forward again, catching Gabriel and Sam’s alarmed expressions and Castiel’s guilty one. He narrowed his eyes. ‘Why didn’t you say anything about this?’ he asked, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder at his wings.

‘I didn’t want you to react badly,’ Castiel replied. ‘I was afraid you might try to damage them.’

‘Shut up,’ Dean said as Sam sniggered. He scratched his head as he stared at Castiel, accepting Castiel’s apologies sent through his Grace. ‘So for my own good. Fine. Whatever. Why are you even here? I thought you looking for God.’

‘Good luck with that,’ Gabriel snorted.

Castiel sent Gabriel a dirty look. ‘Bobby prayed to me,’ he replied as he looked around. ‘He was afraid you were going to fall off a wagon. But I don’t see any wagons…’

Gabriel broke out in laughter as Sam and Dean managed to stifle their own.

‘No…uh… No, Cas… He meant…’ Dean chuckled as he shook his head fondly. ‘He wanted you to make sure I didn’t eat any monsters.’

‘Oh.’ Castiel looked down in embarrassment. He looked back up as Dean placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring grin.

Gabriel sidled up to Dean as he looked over Castiel. ‘I have to corrupt him,’ he said.

‘I think I’m already doing that,’ Dean replied.

Sam gave Castiel a sympathetic smile.


	32. Chapter 32

Bobby glared at the decanter of whiskey that sat on his desk. As far as peace offerings went, it was certainly a nice one. He looked up, shifting his glare to the angel he had previously known as the Trickster. Gabriel offered a wide, reassuring smile, and Bobby leaned back in his chair. He looked to Sam and Dean for a second opinion. ‘You sure we can trust ‘im?’ he asked.

‘About as far as I can throw him,’ Dean said with a shrug.

‘Which is pretty far, despite being a tiny, little thing,’ Gabriel added happily.

‘In my current state,’ Dean amended, throwing Gabriel a glare.

‘Tiny?’ Bobby repeated, looking between Gabriel and Dean.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose as he turned away in frustration as Gabriel chuckled. ‘He means our true forms. I’m about…half his size?’

‘More like a third,’ Gabriel sniggered. He grinned as Dean flashed his wings. ‘Just stating facts, Seri. C’mon. You’re _cute_!’

Dean rolled his eyes as he folded and refolded his wings. He just couldn’t get them into a comfortable position. He quickly brushed off Gabriel’s probing Grace, insisting that he wasn’t in any pain.

Gabriel frowned at Dean’s back. He had seen the destruction inflicted upon his brother’s wings, but that had been centuries ago, and there hadn’t been any white piercing through deep red feathers. And Seraphiel had been a lot less pleasant to be around. He had lost a couple pagan friends to Seraphiel’s wrath, but he hadn’t dared to reveal himself, choosing to remain a coward and stay hidden. ‘Y’know, Seri, this human gig’s doing you some good,’ he said.

Dean looked over his shoulder at Gabriel. He turned around and glanced between Sam and Bobby’s interested looks. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

Gabriel shook his head in amusement. He didn’t say anything, but he had the feeling that Seraphiel had played right into their Father’s plan. And as hard as it was for him to accept it, plans could change. Even God’s.

He clapped his hands together and grinned eagerly at Sam and Dean. ‘So, what are we doing about the end of the world?’

‘ _We_ aren’t doing anything. Me ‘n’ Sam have this taken care of,’ Dean gruffly replied.

‘Nonsense! You could use all the help you can get,’ Gabriel said as he walked across the room and dropped onto the couch. ‘Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Seraphiel. Cas can only cover so much ground, and he’s a little limited in what he can do right now. Being high on Zack’s most wanted list isn’t helping matters. No one’s expecting _me_ to help you yahoos.’

‘And just how are you gonna help? Sit around and eat sweets?’ Bobby asked. ‘Dean’s got that role covered. Don’t need another lazy angel on my hands.’

‘Don’t compare me to _him_ ,’ Dean snapped. ‘I _have_ an excuse.’

‘Look, I know you guys don’t like me, but I _can_ help,’ Gabriel insisted. ‘You’re still taking jobs, right? That’s why you came after me. Even with the apocalypse going on, you’re still helpin’ folks out. I respect that. I’m just offering my help while Seri’s getting better. I can take out monsters, no problem.’

‘We don’t need your help! _I_ don’t need your help!’ Dean shouted as he advanced on the smaller angel. He stopped as Sam gently took his arm and pulled him aside.

‘Dean… We already discussed this,’ Sam said quietly. ‘He _wants_ to help. That’s a good thing, right?’

‘Then he can stay here and do research or go out and find out what Michael’s plans are,’ Dean grumbled as he shrugged Sam off.

‘Cas has Michael covered,’ Gabriel said. ‘Besides, he wants someone keeping an eye on you.’

‘How ‘bout you two switch places?’ Dean said petulantly.

‘Cas is under the impression that _that_ would be a little…counterproductive?’ Gabriel replied as he nudged Dean’s Grace, sending perverse comments. He chuckled as Dean rolled his eyes. ‘C’mon, Seri. It’ll be just like old times. Oh! Think of it like when you were earning your blade! Only this time… _I’m_ your mentor. Nice, huh?’

Dean scoffed as he crossed his arms. ‘You’ve been a Trickster too long. I’m not makin’ deals with you, and I ain’t playin’ your games.’

‘Even if…,’ Gabriel reached into his coat and pulled out a slim, gleaming blade, ‘I gave you this for…graduation?’

Dean’s breath caught and he stumbled forward, staring at the blade in Gabriel’s hand. ‘That’s… Is that…’ He reached forward, but Gabriel quickly moved his hand out of reach.

‘Uh-uh. You have to prove you’re worthy, first,’ Gabriel said as he tucked the blade away.

‘Where did you get that?!’ Dean demanded, jabbing at Gabriel’s Grace, trying to find answers.

‘Cas gave it to me,’ Gabriel replied. ‘Said he didn’t want anyone finding it if he got caught.’

Dean’s breath came quickly as he held out his wings threateningly. ‘Give it back,’ he said quietly. He winced and fell to his knees as Gabriel’s Grace enveloped around him and forced him down.

‘Not until you can tap into Heaven’s power,’ Gabriel said as he stood over Dean. He shook his head sadly as he looked down at Dean’s cringing form. ‘Look at you, Seraphiel. You don’t stand a chance against _anyone_ right now. You’re gonna get yourself killed. Or worse…the people you love. Do you want that? Do you want Sam to die because of you?’ he asked quietly as he crouched down and laid his hand on Dean’s shoulder. ‘I’m putting my faith in you, little brother. I’m trusting that you can actually make things better. You’re in a position to either save the world or destroy it… Don’t screw us over by being a dumbass.’

Dean gave a small nod, and Gabriel’s Grace shifted to a gentle hold. He allowed Gabriel to help him stand and gave him a miserable stare. How had his life become so complicated so quickly? He accepted the soft reassurances that drifted across his Grace. There was gentle pressure and curiosity focused on the mark left by Lucifer, and Dean let out a quiet sigh.

‘You actually think Cas’s scheme’ll work? You think Heaven’s power is open to me?’ he asked. He reached out with his Grace and could just make out the form of his blade. It felt so familiar and foreign at the same time. Now that he thought about it, he wasn’t entirely certain that he wanted it back.

‘Trust me, it’s been at least a century since anyone was actually paying attention to who was tapping in,’ Gabriel replied. ‘Everything’s changed so much. I mean, look at what’s going on with communications!’ he said, gesturing to the empty air around him. ‘These younger angels have forced everyone onto different airwaves! Dad had to make ‘em quick to make up for the losses, and it kinda shows. They don’t understand the old dialects. They can’t even _use_ the original systems!’

‘Don’t know if I’m following this right, but…can you use that to your advantage?’ Sam asked. He shrugged when the pair of angels turned their attention to him with matching blank expressions. ‘Just a thought.’

‘No, you’re right,’ Dean said. ‘Cas has trouble understanding me sometimes, but he’s catching on.’

‘So…what are we talking about?’ Bobby asked. ‘Shakespeare to Modern English? I don’t think that’s gonna cover your asses for long.’

‘More like Old English,’ Dean replied. ‘I could try to help Cas out with getting him onto old school Angel Radio. If no one’s listening, then it’d definitely give us a leg up.’

‘Only problem would be that Mikey and Lucifer have access, too,’ Gabriel pointed out. ‘ _And_ almost half of Heaven.’

‘Well…one way to find out.’ Dean closed his eyes and concentrated. To his relief, it was a lot easier to access the old angelic communications system than the current one. He sent out a brief message and grinned as Gabriel groaned. ‘You wanna go see if anyone shows up?’

‘Yeah, yeah… I’ll be back in a couple hours,’ Gabriel grumbled before vanishing.

‘What was that about?’ Sam asked.

‘Sent a little message,’ Dean replied. ‘Something along the lines of “I’m chilling next to the Lincoln Memorial, and I know where to find the Winchesters. First come, first served.”’

‘And Gabriel’s gone to see if anyone shows up,’ Bobby said, nodding his approval. ‘And if someone does?’

‘Then we stick to phones,’ Dean replied with a shrug. ‘I don’t even know if Cas can connect. Sending a prayer would work, but you never know who might intercept it. And there’d be a bunch of red flags if someone started praying to _me_ , so that’s not an option.’

‘Hell! If I knew that, I wouldn’t’ve prayed to Cas!’ Bobby said, slamming his hand on top of the desk.

‘No, prayin’ to Cas is fine. They’re expecting that, and they know he wants to keep me ‘n’ Sam safe,’ Dean explained. ‘Just don’t give out our location.’

‘You angels figure out your radio frequencies or whatever. _I’ll_ be usin’ a phone from here on out,’ Bobby said as he picked up the bottle of whiskey that sat on the desk. ‘Should I be expectin’ anymore long lost relatives of yours showin’ up?’

Dean quickly shook his head. ‘Gabriel was the only runaway. And probably the only one that’s gonna be willing to help us.’

‘What about Anna?’ Sam asked.

‘She’s on lockdown,’ Dean replied. ‘So I don’t think she’s gonna be much help.’

‘So we’re back to where we were,’ Bobby said as he leaned back. ‘We might be up an angel, but I sure ain’t gonna trust him.’

.-.-.-.-.

Gabriel stood up from the bench he had been sitting on. Two hours had passed, and there had been no signs of another angel. He unfurled his wings and was about to take off, when an all too familiar presence made him freeze. His breaths came quickly as he slowly turned.

There was a man leaning nonchalantly against a tree. He was framed by three pairs of beautiful, shimmering, white wings. The angel locked eyes with him, and he felt the gentle curiosity of the other’s Grace lightly probing him.

Gabriel’s heart ached as he swallowed. Quickly, he locked away everything he knew from the inquisitive angel. In a moment, he stood in front of the angel and cocked his head to the side, grinning. ‘Lucifer! Long time no see!’


	33. Chapter 33

Gabriel held his breath as Lucifer’s Grace tentatively caressed him. He shivered, but stood his ground, refusing to run away.

‘It _has_ been a long time,’ Lucifer eventually said. ‘Too long.’

‘So… You’re out! That’s uh…nice?’ Gabriel said as he let Lucifer’s Grace wrap around him in a warm hug. He sighed and closed his eyes at the loving warmth he felt radiating from the fallen angel.

‘Yes, it _is_ quite enjoyable,’ Lucifer agreed. He looked around at the humans milling about. ‘Although, this infestation seems to have worsened… They do breed rather quickly.’

‘Why are you here, Lucifer?’ Gabriel asked. He tried to pull his Grace from Lucifer’s, but found it to be a much harder task than he thought it would be. He frowned as he realized that Lucifer was not even looking for any information, just basking in the comfort of his Grace.

‘For the same reason as you, I believe,’ Lucifer replied. ‘I heard Seraphiel’s call. He was there when I was released, but he was taken from me.’ He sneered as a pair of teenagers ran past. ‘You haven’t seen him, have you?’

‘Seri? Nope.’

Lucifer turned his gaze to Gabriel and smiled. ‘Do not lie to me, Gabriel. Where is he?’

‘He’s busy.’

‘Doing what?’

‘Detox.’

Lucifer’s brows came together in confusion. ‘Detox…’ He sifted through his vessel’s memories, looking for the relevant information. ‘Why would he require that?’

Gabriel cursed himself for letting the small bit of information slip. ‘He was hopped up on demon juice. He’s…recovering.’

‘I see… This is…a test or a trap?’

‘Not really either,’ Gabriel admitted. He could feel no ill-intent coming from Lucifer so he decided to be honest. ‘Just checking who’s listening in on the old lines.

Lucifer nodded in understanding. ‘The silence was quite startling when I was released. And…there are quite a few angels running around that I have never met. They aren’t very polite.’

‘Yeah. Kids these days,’ Gabriel said with a shrug. ‘How…how many have you killed?’

‘Five, so far. Michael’s attempt to keep me from my true vessel as he tries to claim his own. These…Winchester boys are not making Michael very happy.’

‘They have a knack for messing up plans,’ Gabriel agreed with a smile.

‘Doesn’t matter. I can wait. _I_ certainly have more patience than Michael,’ Lucifer said. His gaze drifted over the gathered humans and rested on an older couple holding each other. ‘He seems intent on fighting our battle exactly as it is written. I am certain that if I were to attempt fighting him in this vessel, he would drag Sam Winchester to the battlefield and wait until he gave in.’

Gabriel laughed as he smirked. ‘If that’s the case, then is _he_ in for a surprise!’

Lucifer turned his attention to Gabriel and let his curiosity float along their connection.

‘Shit.’ Gabriel raised his eyes to meet Lucifer’s and flinched as his cheek was cupped. ‘I…I can’t tell you what I know. Just that nothing is gonna go down like it was written.’

‘What do you mean? Gabriel, what happened?’

‘I think…I think Dad has other plans. Plans He didn’t tell us,’ Gabriel said quietly.

‘And Seraphiel’s role?’ Lucifer asked. He stroked Gabriel’s Grace lovingly.

Gabriel bit his lip as he let his Grace curl around Lucifer. He had missed the comfort of another angel, and Seraphiel was reluctant to show affection. ‘He…he wants to put a stop to this.’

‘And how does he hope to accomplish that?’

Gabriel breathed slowly and suddenly ripped his Grace out of Lucifer’s hold. ‘By any means necessary. Even if it means your death.’

Lucifer raised his chin as he studied Gabriel. ‘But only as a final measure. Do you really think he would be able to kill _me_?’

‘If he doesn’t, then _I_ will,’ Gabriel insisted. He took a step back as Lucifer’s eyes narrowed. ‘I mean it Lucifer. I love you with all my being, but…this can’t go on.’

‘I see.’ Lucifer remained silent as he thought. ‘So… Now that your little test is over, I assume there will be silence again?’

Gabriel looked away and clenched his eyes shut as his Grace was carefully touched. He felt such loneliness coming from Lucifer. He wanted to wrap his brother in his arms and whisper promises that everything would be alright. He held his breath as Lucifer’s hand lightly stroked his arm. He opened his Grace to Lucifer and gasped as he was flooded with so many conflicting emotions. Only in Seraphiel had he ever felt such strong emotion.

Love and hate warred against each other. There was so much jealousy over their Father’s love for humans, yet so much devoted love and adoration for their Father. There was no hatred for their Father and His decision to exile then lock Lucifer away. Only a hatred for the ungrateful humans that surrounded them.

Gabriel tightly folded his wings and hugged himself as he steadied his breathing, concentrating hard to keep certain thoughts from Lucifer’s prying gaze. He thought he had managed to keep everything well hidden until Lucifer spoke.

Lucifer pulled away, staring curiously at Gabriel. He hadn’t been able to glean much information, but what he did find troubled him. ‘I would…appreciate it if you and Seraphiel would keep in touch,’ he said quietly.

‘On the old channels? Yeah… I guess we can do that. I can, at least. Dunno if Seri’s gonna be up to that,’ Gabriel replied.

Lucifer nodded and turned away, spreading his wings. ‘I have matters to attend to. If you wish speak, do not hesitate.’

Gabriel unfurled his wings and let out a shaky sigh after Lucifer left. ‘So much for that idea,’ he muttered before taking off.

.-.-.-.-.

Lucifer landed in the old building he had taken over. He glanced dismissively at the few demons that were scattered around the open room. One demon in particular caught his eye. The one that had been serving as a messenger to Seraphiel. ‘Meg.’

Meg spun and stared wide-eyed at Lucifer. ‘No messages,’ she said quickly. ‘Did you want to send one?’

‘No, I need information…’

‘Anything!’ she said with an eager smile.

‘Find out everything you can on the angel Castiel,’ Lucifer said.

‘Castiel? He’s the one that dragged Dean Winchester out of Hell,’ Meg said. ‘Word is, he’s Dean’s personal guardian angel.’ With her knowledge of Dean’s true identity, she could easily read between the lines of what _that_ meant.

Lucifer frowned in thought. He had found bits of Gabriel’s memories on the young angel. God’s final angel, made specifically for Seraphiel. An angel so important that He had called Gabriel back to Heaven. So important, he had been saved from death.  He had even found the traces of Gabriel’s confusion over Seraphiel and Castiel’s unique bond. He needed to find out more about this angel. Make sure that he posed no threat to Seraphiel. He would rather lose Seraphiel to another’s love, than lose him to Heaven’s trickery.

‘Find him for me.’

Meg nodded and half-expected the pull of the contract to stop her, but she felt nothing. ‘No problem,’ she said with a small grin.

.-.-.-.-.

Gabriel landed in Bobby’s study and looked around. He cast about, searching for Seraphiel, but only found the older human’s presence in the kitchen. He appeared in the kitchen, causing Bobby to jump and curse at him. He tried looking for the telltale voids that the sigils carved on Sam and Dean’s ribs left, but he still found nothing. ‘Where’d they go?’ he asked.

‘Got a text. Said it was real important,’ Bobby replied.

‘Important?’ Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Bobby. ‘Is this some excuse to get away from me?’

‘No, it’s not,’ Bobby said as he pushed past Gabriel. ‘That damned prophet got himself in a fix. The address is on the fridge.’ He turned to face the angel, but found the room behind him empty. He pulled out his phone and dialed Sam. ‘Hey. Yeah, he’s on his way. … No. Didn’t get a chance to ask.’

.-.-.-.-.

Sam sighed as he hung up and faced Dean. ‘Gabriel’s on his way. No word on Angel Radio, though.’

‘One way to test that,’ Dean said apprehensively. He knew he should wait until he heard from Gabriel, but he was impatient and eager. He sent out a short message, and received two replies. One from Gabriel telling him to shut up, and one from Lucifer demanding answers.

Sam braced himself as the car swerved. ‘Dean! Hey, watch it!’ His heart beat erratically as the Dean pulled off to the side of the road.

Dean gripped the steering wheel tightly as he breathed raggedly. Lucifer’s voice rang in his head, constantly interrupted by Gabriel.

‘Dean? Dean!!’ Sam shook Dean’s shoulder until his brother let out a sharp gasp and released his hold of the wheel. ‘You okay?’ he asked, not hiding the alarm he felt.

Dean slowly nodded and swallowed. ‘I… Yeah. I’m fine. Peachy.’

‘Dean…’

He shook his head and stared out the window. ‘I cut off my connection. I’m not… I’m not ready to talk to Lucifer one-on-one just yet.’

Sam sucked in a breath, his mind racing. ‘What did he say?’

Dean frowned as he thought back. ‘He… He was asking about Cas,’ he said. He had been so shocked that he hadn’t truly been listening. ‘I think…he was…concerned?’ He looked at Sam in confusion. ‘And then he started bitching at Gabriel. That’s when I cut the cord.’

‘Why would he—’

‘I don’t know! I didn’t ask.’ Dean sighed in frustration. ‘This whole thing’s messed up and keeps gettin’ worse! And now Chuck’s in trouble! I _hate_ prophets!’

‘Look at the bright side: At least he didn’t put anything about you being… _you_ in the books,’ Sam said as they continued on their way.

Dean grunted in agreement. ‘Still sucks.’ After a few moments of heavy silence, he glanced at Sam out of the corner of his eye. ‘Do you think we could get any royalties?’


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue lifted from s05e09.

Dean hurried out of the car and to the trunk. His body begged for sleep, but this was an emergency. They needed to… Dean paused, his hand on the trunk as he noticed the line of cars, identical to his own Impala. Curiously, he reached out and found the building to be haunted, full of humans, and no sign of Gabriel.

‘Do you know what we’re dealing with?’ Sam asked as he came up from the other side of the car, his eyes lingering on the matching black cars.

‘Ghosts, but that’s not really an emergency, is it? And where the hell is Gabriel?’ Dean growled as he pushed away from the car.

‘I’m incognito!’ a voice replied from behind them. ‘You’re not the only one that can hide his Grace.’

The brothers turned to face Gabriel, who was decked out in the exact outfit they had originally met him in and sucking on a large sucker.

‘What the fuck are you wearing?’ Dean asked incredulously, sneering at the outfit.

‘Aw, c’mon, guys! This’ll be great! We’re so gonna win the costume contest!’ Gabriel said delightedly.

‘Costume contest,’ Sam repeated. He looked at Dean, who looked just as confused as he felt.

‘So help me, Gabriel, if this is some sort of fucked up trick…’ Dean let the threat hang as he prodded Gabriel’s Grace with the unsaid promises.

‘Not a trick, but that prophet’s… I dunno. There’s something off about him,’ Gabriel said. He rolled his eyes at the sarcastic look he received from Dean. ‘I mean more off than usual! Something’s not right about him.’

‘You sayin’ he’s a…fake prophet or somethin’?’ Dean asked, crossing his arms as he looked up the path to the hotel.

Gabriel shook his head. ‘No, he’s just…different. C’mon. You’re gonna _love_ this!’ he said as he lead the way up to the hotel.

They found Chuck Shurley pacing nervously at the bottom of a set of steps leading to the hotel.

‘Chuck!’ Sam called out, drawing Chuck’s attention. ‘There you are.’

‘Guys?!’

Dean glared at Chuck as he drew closer. ‘Chuck, what’s goin’ on here?’

‘What? Nothing! You know…just hanging. What are _you_ guys doing here?!’ Chuck hastily replied. His eyes swept over the trio and landed on Gabriel. ‘Who… Gabriel?!’

‘Shh! I’m the Trickster!’ Gabriel whispered conspiratorially. You’ll spoil the sequels!’

Dean pushed Gabriel back. ‘You told us to come,’ he said.

‘Uh… No, I didn’t,’ Chuck replied.

‘Yeah, you did,’ Sam argued as he stepped closer. ‘You texted me. This address. Life or death situation. Any of this ringing a bell?’

‘I didn’t send you a text,’ Chuck insisted.

‘We drove all night!’ Dean felt Gabriel’s Grace settle over him soothingly, and he tried to brush it off. He huffed in irritation as he was forced to be comforted. He calmed and crossed his arms, glaring at the prophet.

‘I’m sorry. I don’t understand what could… Oh, no.’ Chuck’s eyes widened in realization then closed his eyes as his shoulders sagged.

‘What?’ Dean asked. He didn’t have long to wonder as a familiar face appeared at the top of the steps.

‘Sam! You made it!’

Sam looked up at the feminine squeal and cringed internally. ‘Oh…uh… Becky, right?’ he asked warily.

Becky quickly descended the steps. ‘You remembered! You’ve been thinking about me,’ she said huskily as she eyed Sam. ‘It’s okay,’ she said before Sam could respond, ‘ _I_ can’t get you out of my head, either.’

‘Becky, did you take my phone?’ Chuck asked in irritation.

‘I just borrowed it from your pants,’ Becky replied, not taking her eyes off of Sam.

‘Becky…’

‘What? They’re going to want to see it!’

‘See what?’ Sam and Dean asked in unison.

‘Oh, my God. I love it when they talk at the same time!’

‘Hey, Chuck? Come on, pal. It’s show time,’ a man said from the top of the stairs.

Becky giddily ran back up the steps, vanishing from sight, and Chuck turned to Sam and Dean. ‘Guys… I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘For everything.’

‘Don’t be sorry, man! They’re gonna love it!’ Gabriel promised as he pushed Sam and Dean toward the hotel.

They entered the hotel, and Becky immediately sidled up to Sam. A heavyset man walked by, and he laughed as he looked at Dean. ‘Hey, Dean! Lookin’ good!’

‘Who the hell are you?!’ Dean shot back. Even with Gabriel’s Grace soothing him, he was growing more and more agitated. Especially when he realized that the man addressing him was dressed almost exactly as he was. He even wore a duplicate of the small amulet that Sam had given him years before.

‘I’m Dean, too. Duh,’ the man replied before walking off.

Dean looked to Sam in confusion and noticed the scarecrow god they had faced. He flashed his wings on reflex, feeling cornered and disoriented, but there was no reaction as it drew closer, carrying a soda.

‘Uh-oh! It’s Sam and Dean!’ a slightly muffled voice cried out. ‘I’m in trouble now!’

Dean quickly scanned the scarecrow, and found it to be just a man in costume. He breathed heavily as Gabriel poked delightedly at his Grace, pointing out other costumed individuals. Dean recognized each and every one as a monster they had faced or someone dress as himself or Sam. ‘What…?’

‘Becky what is this?’ Sam asked.

‘It’s _awesome_!’ Becky exclaimed, Gabriel nodding in agreement. ‘A _Supernatural_ convention! The first ever!’

Sam frowned in displeasure as he looked around at the costumed people milling about. He nudged Dean when he noticed suspicious shadows being cast on the walls around them. ‘Dean,’ he whispered. ‘Wings.’

Dean startled and quickly tucked his wings away. He watched in shock and horror as Gabriel jogged up to a fake Sam and Dean. He reached out to Gabriel’s Grace, needing something solid to cling to in all the confusion surrounding him. He sighed as Gabriel’s Grace wrapped around him, promising that everything was going to be alright.

He looked to Sam and grimaced. Sometimes, he just didn’t _get_ humans. ‘I don’t like this.’

.-.-.-.-.

By the end of the small Q&A session, Dean was furious. He paced back and forth, ignoring the compliments of looking just as how some people imagined Dean to look. By the fifth request for a photo, the lights around him began to flicker.

Sam pulled Dean aside and nodded to where Chuck and Becky were sitting.

‘This is messed up!’ Dean said in a hushed tone. ‘Gabriel’s off…socializing! He’s _enjoying_ this!’

Sam stopped them before they reached the table and watched as the light above them began to dim. ‘Dean…are your powers coming back? Or is this being caused by a ghost?’

Dean followed Sam’s gaze, his brows furrowed. He cocked his head to the side and took a calming breath, and the light returned to normal. ‘It’s me,’ he replied. ‘Ghosts are laying low. Which is probably a good thing.’

‘So you’re doing better?’

Dean shrugged, momentarily distracted. ‘Just ‘cuz I can turn a light off doesn’t mean I can take out a ghost. Unless I sap it,’ he said bitterly. ‘Which I’m not allowed to do. Believe me. Gabriel’s keeping a close eye on me. He keeps fawning over everyone’s costumes. Believe me, this is a running commentary I could _really_ do without.’

Sam smirked as they continued toward the table. ‘At least you can drink.’

‘Not much of a vice when it doesn’t really affect you. At least I’m low enough that it won’t take near as much as normal,’ Dean grumbled. He cringed as Becky’s attention landed on Sam. As amusing as it was, he just wasn’t in the mood. Hearing about the future publishing of more books had effectively ruined his night. Possibly his life.

He grabbed Chuck’s drink and downed it in one go. ‘Right. In case you haven’t noticed, our plates are kind of full, okay?’ he said, the frustration he felt clear in his voice. ‘Dealing with Lucifer? Not exactly high on my easy-to-do list right now! Dealing with _anything_ is not easy right now! Hell, at least we have the knife, but it’d be nice if we still had the Colt, so y’know what? Add that to our to-do list. We don’t have _time_ for this crap.’

‘Hey, _I_ didn’t call you!’ Chuck said defensively.

‘He means the books, Chuck,’ Sam pointed out. ‘Why are you publishing more books?’

‘Um…for food and shelter?’ Chuck replied as if it were obvious.

‘Who gave you the rights to our life story?’ Dean said as he loomed over Chuck.

‘An archangel, and I didn’t want it!’ Chuck leaned away and looked to Sam for support.

‘Well, deal’s off, okay? No more books,’ Sam said as Chuck looked away. ‘Our lives are not for public consumption,’ he said, glancing at Becky.

Chuck followed Sam’s gaze and sighed. ‘Uh…Becky? Would you excuse us for a second?’

Becky nodded and watched in surprise as Dean grabbed Chuck by the collar and dragged him away.

Chuck stumbled as Dean released him in one of the back hallways. ‘Do you guys know what I _do_ for a living?’

‘Yeah, Chuck. We know,’ Sam said wearily.

‘Then could you tell me? ‘Cuz _I_ don’t, all right? I’m not a good writer. I’ve got no marketable skills. I’m not some hero who can just hit the road and fight monsters, okay?’ Chuck said miserably. ‘Until the world ends, I gotta live, all right? And the _Supernatural_ books are all I’ve got. What else do you want me to do?’

A scream echoed through the building, and Sam and Dean looked to each other. Acting on instinct, they ran towards the source.

‘No, guys! Wait! It’s not… Oh, never mind.’

.-.-.-.-.

Sam and Dean ran upstairs and found a young woman crouching in the corner of a hallway.

‘Hey, are you okay?’ Sam asked as he helped her up. He glanced to Dean, and Dean shook his head, shrugging.

‘I think so,’ the woman said shakily.

‘What happened?’ Dean asked as he drew closer, looking around. There was no sign of a ghost. The only thing he could think of was that the woman had been spooked or accosted by a guest.

‘I saw a ghost,’ she replied.

Dean looked at her doubtfully. ‘Really. Kinda hard when they’re—‘ He winced as Sam jabbed him in the ribs, hard. A forced, gruff voice spoke up, and Dean looked to see the heavyset man from earlier.

‘A ghost? Could you tell us what it looked like?’ the man asked dramatically.

Dean looked at Sam and pulled a face. ‘It wasn’t a ghost,’ he insisted.

‘A woman. She was in an old fashioned dress. Really old. Like a schoolmarm or something,’ the woman explained.

Another man from the slowly gathering group spoke up. ‘Did she say something to you?’

The woman smiled excitedly. She faced the group and gestured for them to come closer as she raised her voice. ‘Gather close, everybody, for a terrifying tale of terror. I saw…a ghost!’

Dean pulled Sam away, ignoring Sam’s confused, stumbling steps. The whole thing was some sort of joke! He was beyond irritated, and his irritation only grew as he looked up, seeing Becky running up to them.

‘Ooh! The LARPing’s started!’ Becky said, smiling happily at the group behind Sam and Dean.

‘What the fuck is a LARPing?’ Dean growled, the lights flickering and casting shadows of his wings across the walls.

‘Dean…,’ Sam warned, placing his hand on Dean’s arm.

‘Live action role playing? It’s a game,’ Becky explained. ‘The convention puts it on.’ She held out a piece of paper to Sam.

Sam took the paper and read over it, his face scrunching up in confusion. He glanced at Dean and read it aloud. ‘Dad’s Journal. Dear Sam and Dean,’ Dean rolled his eyes, ‘this hotel is haunted. You must hunt down the ghost. Interview witnesses, discover clues, and find the bones. First team to do so wins a $50 gift card to Sizzler. Love, Dad.’

Dean took the paper from Sam and read over it. ‘Love, dad. _So_ authentic,’ he said sarcastically.

‘You guys are _so_ gonna win,’ Becky confided.

They watched Becky walk off, and Dean crumpled the paper in his hand. Smoke and embers drifted up as the paper burned away in his fist.

.-.-.-.-.

Sam and Dean watched the crowd as the con manager spoke to them.

Dean crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall. ‘Well, the story matches the ghosts here. Four kids and a woman.’

‘So they’re having their fake ghost hunt in an _actual_ haunted hotel,’ Sam said, shaking his head. ‘That’s just asking for trouble.’

‘Yeah… Wonder what would happen if me ‘n’ Gabe just sorta…flew under the radar for a bit. Let them meet the little ghosties,’ Dean said, a smirk slowly forming as he spoke.

‘Dean.’

‘What? Let them live out their fantasy. See that it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be,’ Dean said defensively as he gestured to the group.

‘They’re just having fun,’ Sam said halfheartedly. Why was he defending them? He looked over as the two men that had questioned the fake witness walked by.

‘Dad said… He said I may have to kill you,’ the fake Dean said.

‘Kill me? What the hell does that mean?’ asked the fake Sam.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Oh…’

Dean and Sam looked at each other, and Dean cast his eyes down, the memory of his confession of his original plans for the Winchester family renewed.

‘I need a drink,’ they both said.

.-.-.-.-.

The brothers were leaning against the bar, watching as pairs of Sams and Deans wandered back and forth, discussing where they could find the bones of the ghost.

Dean visibly sagged as Gabriel walked up to them, followed closely by the fake Sam and Dean from earlier.

‘Hey, guys!’ Gabriel greeted cheerfully. ‘Meet, well…you!’

Dean stared at Gabriel in displeasure, sending the prickliest sensations he could muster along towards Gabriel.

‘Fine!’ Gabriel rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. ‘Demian and Barnes,’ he said, gesturing to the two men. ‘Kids, Sam and Dean, or uh…Samuel and Seri.’

Dean narrowed his eyes at Gabriel. ‘What are you doing?’ he asked evenly.

‘Making friends!’ Gabriel replied. He leaned against Dean and wrapped his arm around the other angel. ‘C’mon, Seri. You should love this! You know all about pretending to be something you’re not.’

Dean shrugged Gabriel off and turned to face the bar and his drink. ‘Then go have fun with your new friends.’

‘Did you know they found a map to where Miss Gore is buried?’ Gabriel said conversationally. ‘Pretty interesting that it leads to the cemetery and _not_ the basement…’

‘What? Hey! We didn’t tell you that!’ Demian exclaimed. He paused then schooled his features before repeating himself with a much gruffer voice. ‘We didn’t tell you that.’

‘Oh, come on. That thing’s so covered with ghost residue, even Seri can sense it,’ Gabriel replied dismissively, ignoring the warnings wafting from Dean.

‘Wait… Is this part of the hunt?’ Barnes asked slowly. ‘Are we… _winning_?’

Gabriel put on a bright smile as he faced the two LARPers. ‘Sure, why not? Anyway, seems like some of these ghosts want mommy dearest gone. Something about not having any fun.’

‘Yeah. That’s exactly what he said!’ Barnes said, nodding. ‘We should look into it. See if anyone knows what he was talking about. Do some research. I’ll need my laptop.’

Sam slouched on the barstool. He wasn’t _just_ about researching. So what if he liked knowing what they were up against? Dean must have seen the sickened look on his face because he found a bottle of beer being pressed into his hand.

‘And why would _any_ ghost be talking about having fun?’ Dean bit out, staring accusingly at Gabriel.

Gabriel glanced at Dean and shrugged. ‘I was curious. Reined it in a bit and got a couple bites,’ he explained. ‘I dunno about you, but when one kid’s bitching about not having fun, tries to string you up by your heels, and then Mommy comes along and chants “naughty, naughty, naughty”…that just _screams_ crazy kids got put down. Not to mention, between those kids…she’s stretched pretty thin. Running on instinct, now. I say salt and burn the lot of them. Put ‘em out of everyone’s misery.’

Dean turned in his stool to face Gabriel fully, a thoughtful look on his face. ‘You wanna help.’

‘Well…yeah. Could be fun to be on the other side of the fight.’

‘Uh-huh. You know they can still hear you. Heard your whole plan,’ Dean said. His Grace poked at Gabriel for making such an amateur mistake—not quite playfully, but nowhere near as serious as he had been feeling earlier.

‘What are they gonna do? Lock us in?’ Gabriel said sarcastically. He grinned as a burst of energy ran through the hotel. ‘Apparently, that _is_ their plan.’

Demian and Barnes had been watching the conversation, trying to keep up. In a few whispers, they came to the conclusion that they had managed to get a leg up in the LARP.

‘We should find a way out and find those bones,’ Demian declared.

Dean looked between the LARPers and Gabriel. ‘Really?’ he said disbelievingly.

Gabriel crossed his arms as he shifted his weight. ‘Oh, lay off. They’re cool.’

Sam leaned closer to Dean and whispered. ‘Besides, isn’t that what you wanted? Give everyone a taste of reality?’

Dean sighed as he reluctantly nodded. ‘So what’s the plan? Let these two dweebs dig up a couple graves?’ He could just imagine the pair of young men sweating and getting covered with dirt and mud, miserable in the night air. ‘Actually…I’m all for handing over physical labor. Have fun.’ He turned back to his drink, a large smile plastered across his face.

‘Keep ‘em distracted. I’ll keep an eye on these two, _and_ you… I’m keeping a _close_ eye on you,’ Gabriel warned as he escorted Demian and Barnes toward the main entrance, telling them a made-up story of Leticia and the children.

.-.-.-.-.

Chuck looked up and groaned at the sight of Sam and Dean swiftly approaching. ‘ _Now_ what?’

‘We need everyone out of the way,’ Sam said.

‘Out of the… Well, I’m doing a Q&A in about five minutes,’ Chuck replied. ‘That’ll last…however long you need it to.’

‘Depends on if Gabriel’s playing nice or not,’ Dean said. He reached out, but the other angel was out of his range. With a sigh, he opened up his link to angel radio. He winced at the conversation he had inadvertently walked into.

‘ _C’mon, Lucy! It’d be fun_ ,’ Gabriel said enticingly.

‘ _I do not see how **any** form of human entertain would be…fun_ ,’ Lucifer replied.

‘ _You get to pretend to be someone else! There are so many conventions out there. We could do some sci-fi stuff! Or comic books! We can start you off easy with a murder mystery party._ ’

‘ _Gabriel, I will not partake of your foolishness,_ ’ Lucifer replied, his voice laced with the barest hint of amusement.

Dean took a deep breath before cutting in. ‘ _First off, Lucifer, do not let Gabriel talk you into LARPing. Second, Gabriel… How long do you need?_ ’

‘ _Seraphiel! Seraphiel, are you well? Gabriel said_ —’

‘ _I didn’t say **anything**! Seri, don’t listen to him!_ ’

‘ ** _You_** _said he was recovering!_ ’ Lucifer argued before directing his attention back to Seraphiel. ‘ _But he **refuses** to say any more on the subject._ ’

‘ _Thank you, Gabriel_ ,’ Dean said sarcastically. He sighed and caught Sam and Chuck giving him questioning stares. He waved them off before turning away and back to his conversation. ‘ _Yes, I’m…fine. Good enough._ ’

‘ _Will you speak with me?_ ’ Lucifer asked.

‘ _Will **you** stop this stupid apocalypse?’_ Dean retorted with a harsh tone.

He was met with silence. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the wall. He probably shouldn’t have been so rude. Not when he wanted to sway Lucifer’s intentions. Sam touched his arm, and he pushed off the wall. He had more important things to do than mope around about Lucifer.

‘ _Gabriel? How long?_ ’

‘ _I dunno_ ,’ Gabriel quietly replied. ‘ _We’re almost there. I’m gonna let them be big boy. Dig up some graves… But I can feel the ghosts are also tied to the cemetery. So…however long it takes a human to dig up a grave? They fell kinda shallow. I’ll jump in if they get in over their heads._ ’

‘ _Right. We’ll try to keep them busy here._ ’ Dean cut his connection and turned to face Chuck and Sam. ‘Okay, so we need you to keep everyone in that room for about…hell…a couple hours or so? Think you can do that?’

Chuck nodded grimly. ‘Yeah. Sure. No problem. Probably even go over,’ he replied. ‘These people are _wolves_. Vicious, hungry, _fanatical_ wolves.’

‘And who do you have to blame for _that_?’ Dean asked. He looked down the hall as he heard voices approaching. ‘Whatever. Your audience is showing up. Me ‘n’ Sam’ll salt the entrances. You…do your thing.’

.-.-.-.-.

Gabriel sighed as he watched Demian struggle with the lighter while Barnes waved a shovel through a ghost’s head. This was getting tedious. He checked his watch. Five more minutes then he would take over. And where would the fun be in that?

A little boy appeared in front of Gabriel, brandishing a knife and a wicked grin. Gabriel tilted his head and raised a brow. ‘Do it, and I’ll stick that knife so far up your ass, you’ll salt and burn _yourself_.’

The ghost faltered and frowned at Gabriel in confusion. He screeched as his being burned away, revealing the startled faces of Demian and Barnes.

Gabriel smiled widely and clapped his hands. ‘Hey! You did it! Just like real hunters, you two! Congratulations!’

‘That…that was real,’ Demian said weakly, leaning against Barnes.

Barnes nodded and wrapped his arm around Demian’s shoulders. ‘Let’s never do that again.’

‘Oh, c’mon!’ Gabriel said as he left his perch from atop a tombstone. ‘You guys did a great job. A few close calls, but you handled it a lot better than some other amateurs I’ve seen!’

‘Who _are_ you?’ Barnes asked.

‘Now, if I told you who I am, then I’d be giving away spoilers,’ Gabriel replied. ‘Let’s just say… I’m a fan of the _Supernatural_ books. Something of a C.I., if you will. But, hey! You won the really special prize of the evening!’

Gabriel snapped his fingers, and a pair of cards appeared in his hand. ‘How’s about _two_ hundred dollar gift cards to the Sizzler? Much nicer than just fifty. Squeeze in a few more dates that way,’ he said looking between the pair.

Demian nodded wordlessly as he accepted the gift cards. It would hardly make up for the nightmares he was positive he and Barnes would end up having, but it was a start.

.-.-.-.-.

Gabriel waved to Demian and Barnes as the pair slowly trudged away to their room. He sighed and reached out for Dean, making sure to send an irritated jab along their connection. He received a half-hearted response and frowned. In an instant, he stood in front of Sam and Dean, causing Sam to jump back and shout in surprise. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked as he looked over Dean.

‘I’m fine,’ Dean replied as he turned his back on Gabriel. ‘I’m just tired.’

‘That why you sent those creepy kids my way?’ Gabriel gently stroked Dean’s Grace, looking for any sign of injury or stolen energy. He felt relieved upon finding Dean to be clean.

‘They _were_ kind of a handful,’ Sam replied. ‘They got into the conference room, and _Chuck_ actually managed to fend them off!’

‘That’s when I flashed my wings,’ Dean added. He shrugged at the hard look Gabriel gave him. ‘Hey, I’m runnin’ on empty here. Haven’t slept since—’

‘Don’t give me that. _You_ don’t need sleep!’

‘ _I_ do,’ Dean bit out. ‘Now, as I was sayin’, I have _no_ energy right now. I’m noddin’ off every time I sit down. I don’t have the juice to keep this body awake any longer.’ With a heavy sigh, he opened up his Grace to Gabriel and let the other angel poke around to see for himself.

‘Geez, Seri… Why didn’t you _say_ anything?’ Gabriel asked. He looked up at Sam and caught the knowing and amused smirk. ‘Right. Still the same, then. Some things _never_ change, huh?’

‘Look, I just wanna get some sleep, all right? You were taking forever, and I knew you could handle a couple ghosts better than I could,’ Dean explained. He broke off in a yawn and scratched his head. ‘If it bugs ya’ _that_ much, we can talk about it in the morning.’

Gabriel nodded as Dean pushed passed him. He looked back at Sam quirked a smile. ‘So, Mr. Prophet whacked himself a ghost? _That_ musta been impressive. Or hilarious.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean stretched and flexed his wings in the morning sun. He had to admit, Demian and Barnes were okay for a couple of strange humans. They were honest, happy, and saw the silver lining in his crappy life that he had forgotten. As much as he was willing to die for Sam, Sam was just as willing to return the favor. Not only did he have Sam, but he also had Castiel and Gabriel. He hoped that he could soon count Lucifer in the ranks of his small, but beloved, family.

He chewed his lip as he made his way down the hotel steps and walked slowly towards his car. As he took a deep breath, he reopened his connection to the old Angel Radio and sent out a message. He drew closer to the car and saw Gabriel leaning against it, giving him a sad smile.

‘Shut up,’ he said gruffly and opened the trunk.

‘C’mon, Seri. I thought that was sweet. You opened up your heart. And, admittedly, you’re a little less persistent about humanity’s greater qualities than I was. But, maybe this is a step in the right direction,’ Gabriel said with a shrug. ‘Kill ‘em with kindness and all that jazz.’

‘I don’t _want_ to kill him. Don’t want it to end that way,’ Dean whispered as he tossed his bag into the trunk. He stared at the scattered weapons. He hadn’t closed his connection to Angel Radio, but he had yet to hear a reply. He stiffened as Gabriel’s Grace settled comfortingly over him.

They looked up as they heard Sam call Dean’s name.

‘You’re not gonna believe it, but…I got a lead on the Colt,’ Sam said. He gave a short laugh at Dean’s surprised look.

‘What? _How_? Where is it?’

‘Long story,’ Sam replied, shaking his head as he gestured to the car. ‘I’ll tell you on the way.’

‘Right. What are we waiting for?’ Dean glanced back at Gabriel and nodded to the back seat. ‘You comin’ with or headin’ out?’

Gabriel grimaced at the car and looked between Sam and Dean. ‘I guess I’m coming… Get the full _hunter experience_. What better way to round out my adventure than with a stale car ride? How bad is it gonna smell? I have a sensitive stomach.’

Dean rolled his eyes as he got in the car, bristling against Gabriel’s Grace and warning him against insulting his Baby again—not unless he wanted to know what it was like to be thrown from a moving vehicle.

The airwaves were still silent, but at least with his brothers by his side, it was bearable.

.-.-.-.-.

Lucifer’s head snapped up, and he stared ahead as Seraphiel’s voice rang out.

‘Lucifer… I do not hate you for pushing me away after our Fall. I…I’m actually kinda grateful, now. I never would have grown to love humanity as much as I do, and I just wish I could share that with you. Their capacity for love…for _forgiveness_ … They are so amazing, and they don’t…they don’t deserve this. And, Lucifer… I…I forgive you. For everything. Please stop… At least long enough for us to _talk_. I’ll listen. I promise. Just talk to me. Please?’

Lucifer looked around the warehouse he had holed up in. Demons were milling about around him. They were filth—the scum dredged up from the bottom of what humanity had to offer. They actually made humans appear like they were worth saving. He narrowed his eyes as one demon gloated to another about a family it had tortured. The demons were restless and high on energies of promised chaos. If he were to change his plan now…

Things were already getting out of his control. It was one big snowball, rolling down the hill and getting bigger by the second, and he had no hope of stopping it. He could barely even guide it anymore.

He turned away, and his eyes landed on Meg. Another hopeless follower, but at least she was more intelligent than the others.

‘Meg.’ The demon looked up at him with an apprehensive smile. Not the eagerness that the others held. This one still had a sense of self-preservation. Possibly a remnant of her so-called humanity.

As much as he wanted her to ask about Seraphiel’s current state, he didn’t want to risk any of his demonic followers knowing that Seraphiel wasn’t much of threat at the moment. He would have to settle on an apology for what he was about to do. He hoped it would be accepted.

‘I need you to get a message to Seraphiel. But you cannot give it to him. Not yet.’


	35. Chapter 35

Dean sat on the couch in silence, staring at the wall as Gabriel and Castiel argued about tracking down the demon Crowley. The moment Sam had mentioned Crowley’s name, Dean had been dreading confronting the demon. Crowley had been the closest thing he had to a friend for a couple of centuries, but he wasn’t quite sure where Crowley would stand with the apocalypse.

Crowley had been the one to show him the contract that had him stuck in Hell. Crowley _knew_ who Seraphiel was, and yet hadn’t exposed him. Yet. Wouldn’t the demon have a lot to gain from at least telling Lucifer about him? He tapped his fingers on the couch arm and heaved a sigh.

‘But where the hell are we gonna find someone that this guy is actually gonna show up to make a deal with?’ Gabriel asked in annoyance.

‘Someone rich or famous?’ Bobby suggested.

‘A clean soul? Would they be worth more?’ Sam asked.

Gabriel shrugged as Castiel stared at the floor. ‘ _I’m_ not a demon. I don’t know how they operate,’ Gabriel said. He glanced at Dean and frowned at his brother’s distracted state. He lightly grazed Dean’s Grace and narrowed his eyes. ‘You _know_ this bastard! Why didn’t you say anything?!’

Dean groaned and ran a hand over his face. ‘Just ‘cuz I know him, doesn’t mean we’re on good terms. I threatened him with a _spoon_ the last time I saw him.’

‘But you _do_ know where to find him. And given your past encounters with him, he’ll listen before going on the offensive,’ Castiel said as he glanced through Dean’s memories of the demon. ‘He may not be afraid of you, but he _is_ wary.’

‘Great. So we send Seri out to talk with Crowley. If it goes south, me ‘n’ Cas’ll swoop in and take him out,’ Gabriel said.

‘I’m going, too,’ Sam declared.

‘No way, kiddo. It’d be better if we kept you away from known demon camps,’ Gabriel said, shaking his head.

‘Sam’s fine comin’ with me,’ Dean said.

‘No way! You wanna fuck up the apocalypse? Fine! But that won’t happen if you just hand Sam over on a silver platter,’ Gabriel said with a sharp flap of his wings.

‘And _I’m_ perfectly fine going in?’ Dean countered. ‘You really think Lucifer wouldn’t jump at the chance to take out Michael’s vessel? _And_ he has all his demons out looking for me… For Seraphiel.’

‘But he doesn’t want to hurt you,’ Gabriel pointed out. ‘You’d probably have demonic servants left and right.’

Dean stood and crossed his arms as he glared at Gabriel. He flashed his wings, breathing evenly through the dull pain of his regrowth. ‘Sam’s coming.’

Gabriel took a step back. For an instant, he felt the commanding presence of Seraphiel settle over him. As soon as he felt it, it was gone, replaced by the familiar bravado he had come to associate with Dean. He glanced at Castiel for support and puffed out his feathers when he found none. ‘Really? You’d trust these idiots with something like this? In the middle of this shit-fest?!’

‘Yes,’ Castiel said simply. ‘Besides, if Dean’s memories are correct, then we would be unable to…“swoop in” and assist Dean if things were to go wrong. Crowley’s home is heavily warded against angels.’

‘Then we can’t even send in Seri!’ Gabriel whined. ‘This plan gets worse by the second!’

‘I uh…I can get through the warding,’ Dean quietly admitted, thrusting his hands into his pockets. He looked away from Gabriel’s shocked stare.

‘You can…’ Gabriel tilted his head slightly as he trailed off then looked away. ‘The same way you don’t need permission to grab a vessel.’

Dean nodded, staring at the ground as he withdrew his Grace in shame over the actions that had tainted him. He pushed Gabriel’s Grace aside as it tried to follow. ‘Anyway, I know where to find Crowley. Me ‘n’ Sam’ll get the gun. You guys just…sit tight.’

‘Well, at least let us get you there,’ Gabriel said. ‘Take less time.’

Dean grimaced and glanced at Sam. ‘I’d rather not.’

Sam tried to give Dean an encouraging smile. ‘It’ll only take a second,’ he said. ‘The faster we get the gun, the better.’

Dean shifted his weight and sighed, eventually nodding. He flexed his wings and wondered if he would be able to fly on his own.

‘That’s all well an’ good, but we don’t even know if the gun’ll work on Lucifer,’ Bobby pointed out. ‘We’re puttin’ a lot of faith in something that might not work.’

‘It’s still worth it,’ Sam replied. ‘Anything that might give us an edge. And if it can’t kill Lucifer, then it might be able to kill some of the other things that are cropping up because of the apocalypse.’

‘I don’t want to kill Lucifer,’ Dean said tiredly.

‘Not yet, at least,’ Gabriel added. ‘Only as a last resort.’

‘Though I might have to shoot him in the leg. Just on principle,’ Dean said. ‘Besides, if the gun doesn’t work, an angel blade _will_ , but…we’d have to be a lot closer for that.’

Bobby looked between the two angels with his eyes narrowed. ‘And how can we trust you two to do the right thing when the time comes?’ he asked.

Gabriel shrugged, unable to come up with a good answer. Given time, he might be able to convince Lucifer that humanity wasn’t all that bad, but there _wasn’t_ enough time. And if he couldn’t convince him, _would_ he be able to kill Lucifer if it came down to it? He just wanted the fighting to be over. He wanted to go back into hiding.

Dean glanced at Gabriel and lightly touched his Grace. Gabriel looked up and nodded, swallowing. ‘Because it’s about time we started doing the right thing…,’ Dean said quietly.

.-.-.-.-.

Gabriel landed just outside of the location that Dean had given him. He took his hand off of Sam’s shoulder as he stared up at the high walls surrounding the property—every inch was covered in anti-angel warding. ‘Wow… This guy does _not_ want any angels visiting.’

Sam looked around the empty road, frowning. ‘Where are Dean and Cas?’

Gabriel looked around in confusion. ‘Good question,’ he said just before Castiel appeared in front of them. ‘What happened? Where’s Seri?’

‘Dean does not like being carried,’ Castiel replied. ‘He’s flying on his own. He _was_ right behind me.’

‘He has the strength for that?’ Gabriel asked as he reached out, trying to sense Dean. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt Dean quickly approaching.

‘Barely,’ Castiel admitted. He vanished and reappeared several feet away.

Dean appeared and stumbled into Castiel’s open arms. He panted as he leaned heavily into Castiel. He hadn’t counted on the fresh growth giving him so much trouble. Flying with a pair of torn wings was bad enough, but adding in four slowly recovering stumps added in a whole other level of difficulty. He sighed as Castiel’s Grace stroked him encouragingly.

‘Should you really be flying in your condition?’ Gabriel asked.

‘I’m _fine_ ,’ Dean insisted as he stood up straight. Other than his wings being extremely sore, he felt okay. Still weak, but okay to take on a few demons.

‘Sure you are.’

‘You made it in one piece on your own,’ Sam said. ‘That has to count for something.’

‘Yeah. I’m comin’ along pretty good,’ Dean said smugly.

‘Hey, I’ll be more than happy to join in your little ego-stroking celebration when you can tap into Heaven,’ Gabriel said. ‘Until then, I really think you should be conserving your power.’ He pulled out Seraphiel’s blade and twirled it tauntingly. ‘ _Especially_ if you wanna see _this_ anytime soon.’

Castiel narrowed his eyes at Gabriel. ‘I did not entrust you with that blade in order to tease Dean with it.’

Dean patted Castiel’s shoulder and shook his head. ‘It’s okay. He has a point,’ he said before facing Gabriel. ‘If I can fly on my own, I’m gonna do it. I don’t give a rat’s ass how hard it is, I _won’t_ be dragged along.’

Gabriel flapped his wings and pointed the blade at Dean. ‘Stop being so stubborn! This is for your own good!’

‘I’ll stop being stubborn when _you_ stop being a coward!’ Dean shouted back, trying to raise his own wings. He only managed to raise one as the rest hung limply.

Sam sighed as the lights by the front gate began to flicker, casting shadows of wings along the street. ‘We don’t have time for this,’ he said as he turned away.

Castiel laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder and nodded to the pair of angels glaring at each other. ‘It’s done.’

Gabriel lowered his wings as he gave Dean a sad look. ‘Not much of a threatening pose with only one wing raised,’ he criticized. ‘But I’ll give you points for looking scary as shit. You sure do fit the fallen angel look, little brother.’

‘Still flying on my own,’ Dean said as he raised his chin defiantly.

Gabriel nodded and tucked the blade away. ‘Fine. You earned it.’

Sam looked between the two in confusion, uncertain of what was going on. ‘What? Why’d you change your mind?’

‘I’m mentoring!’ Gabriel proudly declared.

‘What?’ Castiel asked flatly.

Dean sighed and winced as he tried to readjust his wings. ‘It’s…well… Things have changed.’ He looked at Castiel and shrugged. ‘ _You’re_ too young to understand,’ he said before facing Sam, ‘and _you’re_ too human. Don’t worry about it. Me ‘n’ Gabe have it covered.’

‘But mentoring another angels is about kindness and guidance,’ Castiel argued. ‘Not…posturing and displays of dominance.’

Dean and Gabriel shared a look. ‘You’ve had more contact with Heaven than me. How _are_ they doing things nowadays?’ Dean asked.

‘Well, uh… These new angels _are_ kinda soft,’ Gabriel said.

‘I’m not…’

Gabriel continued, ignoring Castiel. ‘As I understand it, mentoring turned into babying, so they wouldn’t get hurt.’

‘But nothing’s ever _permanent_ ,’ Dean said. ‘Builds character.’

‘Well, that’s what you get with a rush job,’ Gabriel said with a shrug. ‘Soft angels that can’t—’

‘I am _not_ soft!’ Castiel shouted, spreading his wings out as he slammed his Grace into Dean and Gabriel, commanding respect. ‘I am a soldier of Heaven and will _not_ be so easily dismissed!’

Dean and Gabriel reflexively lifted their wings, taking a step back. Gabriel brushed along Dean’s Grace, sending a message.

‘ _Except him_ ,’ Gabriel whispered to Dean’s Grace. ‘ _Dad made him different. I think…he made him like **us**. Like how angels are **supposed** to be made._ ’

Dean nodded and licked his lips as he gently stroked Castiel’s Grace, promising that he wasn’t brushing Castiel off like he was nothing. ‘ _Add in the fact he was made for **me** … Whatever **that** entails._ ’

Castiel huffed in annoyance as Dean and Gabriel continued their private conversation. He folded his wings and turned away.

‘ _Okay, so we agree that Cas is like a normal angel_ ,’ Gabriel said as he looked over the angel in question. He grinned as he sent all the possibilities along his Grace to Dean. ‘ _He’s never been initiated…_ ’

Dean smirked at Gabriel. ‘ _Don’t you mean **mentored**?_ ’ he replied.

‘ _Same thing._ ’ Gabriel faced Dean, sniggering at the image Dean had sent him of Castiel walking under a door with a bucket of white paint propped above it. ‘He’ll have to wait until I’m done with you, though,’ he said aloud.

Sam watched as Castiel’s expression grew more sour. ‘You guys know you’re pissing him off, right?’ he said, giving Dean an annoyed look.

‘Isn’t that the point?’ Gabriel asked.

Dean sighed as he shook his head. ‘No, Sam’s right. It’s not right if he doesn’t understand.’ He apologetically stroked Castiel’s Grace and was happy when Castiel returned the gesture.

‘What do I not understand?’ Castiel asked as he turned back to face Gabriel and Dean.

‘Finding your place in the hierarchy,’ Dean replied. He shrugged as he glanced at Gabriel. ‘Not much of a hierarchy if it’s just us, though.’

‘But that’s assigned,’ Castiel said.

‘But you’re not immediately respected, are you?’ Sam asked, recalling Castiel’s interactions with Uriel. ‘You’re not really…part of the group.’

Castiel looked away, unable to argue. Sam was right. Neither he nor any of the other newer angels were truly respected. No matter how much they tried to prove themselves. Uriel had despised having to work with him, and Zachariah had only kept him around because of his connection with Dean. It was no wonder that Anna had chosen Falling to the disrespect she had faced from the older angels on a daily basis—no matter how high she ranked.

‘See? The _human_ gets it,’ Gabriel said, waving his hand at Sam. He gave Sam a proud smile, which slipped at the sight of Sam’s annoyed frown.

‘The _human_ has a name,’ Sam retorted.

Gabriel shrugged carelessly. ‘Details. Now, enough bickering. You two go get that gun,’ he said as he gave Dean a light push toward the gate.

Sam sighed as he looked over the gate and intercom. ‘It’s locked, and I don’t think they’ll just let us in…’

‘And I can’t hop it _and_ get past the warding in my condition,’ Dean added. ‘Gotta do this straight up human. Be better if we had some bait.’

‘Do I have to do _everything_ myself?’ Gabriel walked past Sam and stared at the intercom. ‘Piece of cake.’

Gabriel’s form morphed into a young woman that Sam recognized as Dr. Piccolo from Dean’s hospital show. Complete with scrubs. He stepped back as she looked up at him, raising an amused brow.

‘Like what you see, huh?’ Gabriel said before pressing the call button.

‘Hello?’

‘Hi! I’m on my way to this very important conference, and, wouldn’t you know it, my car broke down!’ Gabriel replied.

‘I’ll be down in a minute,’ said the voice on the other end.

Gabriel grinned at the other three as he stepped back to wait. They didn’t have to wait long. The gate swung open and two demons stepped out, looking over Gabriel’s false form.

‘Evening, pretty lady,’ one said. ‘Get yourself on in here.’

Gabriel glanced at the sides of the gate. As much as he’d love to mess with the pair of demons, they would have to come to him. ‘If you have a cell phone, that’d be great,’ he said, taking a step back. If he played the scared victim, then they might follow.

‘You don’t need to call anyone, baby,’ the demon said, grinning. ‘We’re the only help you’re ever gonna need.’

Gabriel was poked forcefully by Dean’s Grace, telling him to hurry up. He shifted uncomfortably and took another step back. ‘Y’know what? I think I should wait by my car.’ He turned and grinned triumphantly when a hand landed on his shoulder.

‘We said, get your ass in here,’ the demon growled.

Gabriel turned slowly, and he shifted back into his normal appearance. Three pairs of golden wings spread out behind him, and the demons stared in shock. ‘Love to, but I can’t,’ he said sadly as he raised his hand to the closest demon’s forehead.

The other demon turned to flee back to the safety behind the gate, but Sam stood in his way, knife drawn. In one swift movement, the knife was thrust deep into his neck.

‘Well, that was fun,’ Gabriel said. He looked to Dean and gave him a questioning stare. ‘You sure you’re okay to do this?’

Dean nodded, lifting his shotgun. ‘There’s just a few more demons in there. Nothing we can’t handle,’ he replied.

‘Stay clean,’ Gabriel warned.

Dean groaned in annoyance as both Gabriel and Castiel’s Graces warned him against devouring demons. ‘C,mon, Sammy,’ he growled as he led the way.

.-.-.-.-.

Sam and Dean had already taken out three demons inside the mansion. Sam had been worried when Dean had disappeared for a moment, returning with a shit-eating grin.

‘What did you do?’ Sam asked.

Dean shrugged nonchalantly. ‘Did a little rearranging,’ he whispered as he stretched his senses as far as he could. He could feel two more demons approaching from another hallway. He signaled to Sam, and Sam nodded as he pressed against the wall.

‘Well, well. If it isn’t the Hardy Boys.’

Sam and Dean spun around in surprise. Their distraction was all that was needed for the demons that Dean had sensed to disarm and detain them. Dean kept his power well hidden as he glared at Crowley.

‘You could have just knocked,’ Crowley said. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small hex bag. ‘After your last visit, I decided to whip this up. Especially when I heard what your preferred diet had shifted to. So… How have you been, Seraphiel?’

The demons holding Sam and Dean tensed, and they glanced uncertainly at each other before looking to Crowley for more information. Neither of them liked the easy stance and sly grin he wore.

‘They’re all yours,’ Crowley said, indicating the pair of demons.

‘Thanks, but I’m on a diet,’ Dean growled in replied, flashing his wings. The demon holding him released him, and he quickly turned and slammed his hand into the demon’s forehead, praying that he had enough power. He grinned to himself as the demon fell lifeless to the floor. He looked over in time to see Sam shove the demon knife into the other demon’s gut. He turned to face Crowley and crossed his arms.

‘So you’re off the demon juice,’ Crowley said in disappointment. He had actually been looking forward to seeing Seraphiel take out his minions in that particular fashion. ‘Is there a specific rehab clinic for that?’

‘Where’s the Colt, Crowley?’ Dean asked, raising his wings slightly.

‘You’re always so pushy,’ Crowley complained. Dean stepped forward, and Crowley pulled the gun from his coat, pointing it at Dean’s head. ‘Should we find out if this works on angels now or later? That’s why you want it, isn’t it?’

‘That’s none of your business,’ Dean replied. He glanced at Sam and shook his head, and Sam lowered the knife in annoyance.

‘Actually, it _is_ my business. _You_ should know that better than anyone. You are, after all, the one who got me into sales,’ Crowley said.

Sam looked at Dean in surprise. He constantly had to remind himself that Dean was still Seraphiel. And Seraphiel had not been a very pleasant being in the past.

Dean caught Crowley smirking at Sam, and he glanced to the side. He deflated under Sam’s gaze and shrugged. ‘What? He was fun to drink with!’ he said defensively. ‘I couldn’t get him out of his contract, but I knew a few demons that could get him a better deal than being put straight on the rack.’

‘For which I am eternally grateful,’ Crowley said as he lowered the gun. He turned the gun around and held it out to Dean. ‘And in a show of my gratitude…here.’

‘Just like that?’ Sam asked suspiciously. ‘You don’t want anything?’

‘Oh, he wants something all right,’ Dean said, glaring at the Colt. He held his hand out, but Crowley pulled the gun away.

‘I want you to take this thing to Lucifer,’ Crowley said simply. ‘And empty it in his face.’

‘ _You_ want the devil dead? But you’re a demon!’ Sam said incredulously.

‘It’s called _survival_.’ Crowley sighed in annoyance as he looked between Sam and Dean.

‘Lucifer’s still an angel,’ Dean explained.

‘Exactly. And he’s an angel famous for his hatred of humankind,’ Crowley said. ‘To him, you’re just filthy bags of pus. If that’s the way he feels about _you_ , what can he think about _us_?’

‘But he created you,’ Sam said uncertainly.

‘To him we’re just servants. Cannon fodder,’ Crowley said distastefully.

‘And once he’s done wiping out humans…’ Dean trailed off and shook his head. _Was_ Lucifer so far gone that he would just lash out at everyone and everything? He didn’t want to believe that Lucifer was beyond saving.

‘Who do you think will be next on his little to-do list?’ Crowley said, finishing Dean’s sentence. ‘So, what do you say? Save the whole world. We can all go back to simpler, better times. Back to when we could all follow our natures.’ He glanced over Dean and frowned. ‘Back to when _you_ in one of your _moods_ was the only _real_ threat. Though, I will say that the Plague was good for business.’

‘That was an _accident_!’ Dean growled. He thrust out his hand and spread his wings to their full span. ‘Just give us the gun.’

‘You’ll do it? You’ll kill the devil?’ Crowley asked.

Dean nodded, not trusting his voice. When Crowley made no move to hand the gun over, he gritted his teeth. ‘I swear to God, that I will shoot that fucking asshole. Dad knows he deserves it,’ he said.

Crowley gave a curt nod and handed Dean the Colt. ‘Deal.’

‘Great. So…you wouldn’t happen to know _where_ the devil is, by chance, would you?’ Sam asked as he watched Dean.

‘Thursday,’ Crowley replied. ‘Birdie tells me, there’s an appointment in Carthage, Missouri.’

Dean lifted the Colt and pointed it between Crowley’s eyes. ‘Thanks,’ he said as he pulled the trigger.

The gun clicked, and Crowley stared back at Dean. ‘Oh, yeah. Right. You’ll probably need some more ammunition,’ he said in a bored tone.

Dean grinned and held up his other hand.  He opened it, revealing a handful of bullets. ‘Already helped myself. Hope you don’t mind.’

Crowley breathed in sharply as his eyes widened. ‘Always full of surprises, aren’t you?’

Dean smirked as he began loading the Colt. ‘And _you’re_ predictable. I hope you like I what I did to your office.’ He looked back up, surprised when he found Crowley still standing there.

‘As fun as our little games are, this isn’t good for my health, Seraphiel,’ Crowley said. ‘You fail, and I’m _dead_.’

‘So I won’t fail.’


	36. Chapter 36

The study was filled with a tense silence. Three angels sat on the couch—one straight-backed and proud, the other two in varying degrees of embarrassment.

‘Angels,’ Ellen repeated for what seemed like the tenth time. ‘I can buy that The Trickster turned out to be an angel—divine retribution and all that, but… _Dean_?’

‘ _Fallen_ angel,’ Dean reminded. He shrank back under Ellen’s cold stare.

‘You coulda saved so many more people!’ Jo said, shaking her head.

Dean nodded and stared at the floor. There _was_ so much more he could have done. Hell, he could have just run away and helped out random strangers. But, then he wouldn’t have been there for Sam. How would Sam have turned out if he hadn’t been there? Or if he had had powers and Sam didn’t… Would Sam have pursued his psychic abilities even more if he had a brother with powers?

Slowly, he brought his head up and met the eyes of the women standing on the other side of the room, looking down on him in disappointment. ‘It was worth it to keep Sam safe. He needed a brother. As normal a brother he could get, given this life,’ he said as he stood. ‘He might be human, and I might be an angel, but that don’t change the fact that he’s still my bother. And y’know what? I’d do it all again. Exactly the same. Standing with Lucifer, Falling, all the lies, corruption, death… All of it. Every last bit the same if it meant I did even a little right by Sam.’

Dean swallowed self-consciously as everyone stared at him, but he stood his ground, crossing his arms defiantly. His tension eased as Castiel’s Grace filled him with love. He looked to Sam and breathed a sigh of relief at the half-smile and nod directed at him.

There was movement beside him, and he looked down as Gabriel stood next to him.

‘Since we’re having our little Angels Anonymous meeting… Hi, I’m Gabriel, and I ran away from home. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat,’ Gabriel said with a cocky grin. He deflated a little under Dean’s annoyed gaze. ‘Well, past tense, that is. Not right now. I’m not running away this time.’

‘I’ll believe _that_ when I see it,’ Bobby said, and Dean nodded in agreement.

‘Oh, don’t agree with _him_! He can’t see my Grace,’ Gabriel said huffily, glaring up at Dean. ‘He doesn’t know jack squat about my change of character. You, on the other hand, I’m completely exposed to,’ he said, spreading out his arms.

‘Don’t expose yourself _too_ much, you might scare some children,’ Dean replied. He smirked as Gabriel’s arms dropped.

‘Hey!’ Ellen drew the angels’ attention back to herself and placed her hands on her hips. ‘Okay, so we can’t change the past, but at least we have a chance with the future, right? You two can make up for your fuck ups right now, and you’re gonna do it by saving the world.’

‘That’s a tall order,’ Gabriel said weakly.

‘What’s wrong? Too short to fill it?’ Dean snarked.

Gabriel pushed at Dean’s Grace playfully. ‘Says the tiniest angel in the room.’

The lights began to flicker, and a nearby bulb in a lamp popped as Dean and Gabriel’s Graces wrestled. They stopped at the sound of Castiel’s commanding voice.

‘Enough! You can play with each other later,’ he said. He frowned as the pair broke off in snickers, and he rolled his eyes. He looked pleadingly at the humans in the room. ‘I apologize for their behavior.’

‘No, it’s…fine,’ Ellen said, slowly shaking her head. ‘A lot to take in, but…Dean’s still…Dean.’ She sighed as she stared at the young man. ‘Just wish you had done more…’

‘And makin’ sure little Blondie was safe isn’t good enough? He coulda played completely human and not even bothered keepin’ an eye on her, ready to jump in at the last second.’ Gabriel asked with a scoff. ‘What’s it take to impress you people?’

‘What?’ Ellen and Jo looked at Dean for an answer.

Dean shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets. He had to trace out where Gabriel’s Grace had been skimming for information and memories to find out exactly what Gabriel was referring to. ‘With Holmes… I had Jo on my radar the whole time. I was ready to take out that ghost the second he laid a finger on her. Woulda wiped her memory of it, though… But she did good on her own. I saved who I could,’ he said quietly. ‘The ones no one would notice if they got away from an impossible situation. Others…there was no way I could get to ‘em in time without revealin’ who I was.’

Ellen and Jo shared a look, and Ellen nodded. ‘Thank you for that,’ she said quietly. Gabriel had a point. Dean could have done much less over the years. But he was always right in the thick of it, willing to take on jobs that even seasoned hunters were wary of. As angry as she was about Dean’s big secret, she was grateful that they finally had a few allies that were worth something—even if Dean was technically a recovering addict thrown into the midst of temptation.

‘All right,’ she eventually said. ‘What do you need us to do?’

.-.-.-.-.

Gabriel and Jo watched as Ellen finally downed the last shot glass in front of her. She grinned across the table to where Castiel sat.

‘All right, big boy,’ she said as she leaned back.

Castiel stared down at the five shot glasses in front of him. ‘Well.’ There was a not-so-gentle prod from Gabriel. He sighed and picked up the first glass in the line. He drank it and quickly continued with the other four. He set the final one down and blinked as he felt twinge of dizziness pass over his vessel. ‘I think I’m starting to feel something,’ he admitted. Dean and Gabriel had been feeding him beer after beer all night, and he had yet to feel anything. He blinked wearily as a mug filled with clear liquid was shoved into his field of vision. He looked up at Gabriel’s grinning face and reluctantly took the mug.

In the other room, Sam and Dean were seated around Bobby’s desk, a map and notes scattered across it.

‘It’s gotta be a trap, right?’ Sam said. ‘I mean, Crowley _is_ a demon, after all.’

Dean laughed softly as he looked up at Sam. ‘Sam Winchester. Having trust issues with a demon… Well, better late than never,’ he said with a shrug.

‘Thank you for your continued support,’ Sam dryly replied.

‘You’re welcome.’

‘And might I say that it’s nice to see _your_ rehabilitation coming along smoothly.’

Dean nodded. ‘Five weeks dry and counting,’ he said and lifted the beer bottle he held. He smiled as Sam raised his own and their bottles clinked.

Sam sighed as he stared at the papers strewn across the desk. ‘Trap or not… It’s a bad idea that we’re even going…’

Dean nodded as he leaned back with a heavy sigh. ‘Yeah… Vessel and ex… This could go south real fast.’

‘You sure you’re okay for both of us to go?’ Sam asked.

‘Not really,’ Dean admitted. ‘It’s a mistake. I know it’s a mistake… _You_ know it’s a mistake… Everyone knows. But we don’t have much of a choice. _He’s_ not giving us much of a choice. Whatever Lucifer’s got planned…we gotta try to stop it. Gotta try ‘n’ stop _him_.’

.-.-.-.-.

It was early afternoon when the small group of hunters and angels reached the city limits of Carthage. They had planned for Dean and Gabriel to hide their presence, and let it seem like Castiel was the only angel. Sam and Gabriel rode with Dean, and Castiel had eventually been coaxed into the back of Ellen and Jo’s car.

Dean narrowed his eyes as he drove through another Reaper. ‘Still no signal, huh?’

Sam shook his head as he stared at his phone. ‘Nothing. The place is completely empty… We should have seen _someone_ by now.’

‘Not empty at all, Sam,’ Gabriel replied. He kept his eye on a nearby cluster of Reapers as the car drove by. ‘Reapers all over the place…’

‘This is as good a spot as any,’ Dean said as he pulled over. He stepped out as Ellen parked next to him. ‘You doing okay in there, Cas?’

Castiel appeared in front of Dean and nodded stiffly. ‘This is not a wise plan…’

‘It’s the only one we got,’ Dean replied.

‘And do you _really_ want me ‘n’ Seri advertising?’ Gabriel added. He grimaced at the Reapers that surrounded them. ‘I can’t be the only one that thinks this is creepy.’

‘What? An empty town?’ Jo asked as she got of the car.

Gabriel shook his head and waved his hand around them. ‘Bunch of old guys staring into space. Somethin’ big is goin’ down here…’

‘Town’s crawling in Reapers,’ Dean explained. ‘And I can barely feel Lucifer… Just traces. Nothin’ I can really lock onto without giving myself away. Wish we knew what he had planned.’

‘With this amount of Reapers? My guess is extermination,’ Gabriel said. He lightly touched Dean’s Grace, sharing his apprehension. He hoped that Lucifer wasn’t beyond saving, but with how things looked… He sighed as he crossed his arms and looked up the street. ‘Whatever’s going on, we need to find out what it is and stop it.’

‘Well, me ‘n’ Sam’ll start with the police department. See if we can find anything,’ Dean said as he opened the door to the Impala.

‘We’ll take this area,’ Ellen said.

Castiel had been looking at the Reapers and felt the barest twinge a few blocks away. ‘I’m going to find out why they’re here,’ he said as he began walking. He paused as both Dean and Gabriel’s Graces brushed against him, warning him to be careful. He nodded and continued on his way.

‘Guess that leaves you,’ Ellen said, looking at Gabriel.

Gabriel looked from the Impala to the two women and back. ‘I’ll keep these two safe,’ he said, jabbing his thumb toward Ellen and Jo. ‘If anything happens, screw secrecy and call for help. Got it?’

Dean rolled his eyes, but nodded as he got into the car and started it.

‘Be careful,’ Sam said before joining Dean.

‘So… Where should we start?’ Jo asked, looking around.

‘How about…’ Gabriel turned and his eyes landed on a storefront. ‘Oh! Porn store! Dibs!’

‘Some angel,’ Ellen muttered as she watched Gabriel happily saunter across the street. He would occasionally sidestep, and she assumed he was avoiding walking through a Reaper. She sighed as her daughter soon followed Gabriel’s path.

.-.-.-.-.

Castiel was about to give up and return to Dean when a flash of movement caught his eye. He looked up in time to see someone move away from a window. He narrowed his eyes and reached out with his senses, but felt nothing. He appeared in the room where he had seen the figure and frowned, his eyes darting back and forth.

As he moved further through the building, he wondered if he should go back and get Gabriel or Dean. He brushed off the thought as he went deeper inside. It was probably just a demon—nothing he couldn’t handle. Besides, they had already seen him, and if he were to take the time to get someone else, then they would have already escaped.

He reached out his senses again and felt the barest hint of a demon. He followed the feeling and sighed when he reached a dead end.

Bright light filled the room, and Castiel froze as he was trapped by a circle of holy fire.

‘Hello, brother.’

Castiel swallowed and slowly turned around. In front of him stood Lucifer. His thoughts were torn between regretting not getting help, and being glad that only he had been caught. He was a nobody. At least, that was what he thought. But from the way Lucifer was looking at him, he felt like he was more important than he had originally thought.

‘So… You must be Castiel,’ Lucifer said. He narrowed his eyes as he drew closer and looked over the younger angel. ‘You’re different from the other young ones…’

Castiel shifted uncomfortably. He had caught glimpses of Gabriel’s thoughts whenever the other angel would curiously poke at his Grace. The more confused Gabriel became, the more irritated and confused Castiel grew as well. ‘So I’m told.’

‘What are your intentions with Seraphiel?’

Castiel blinked in surprise. ‘Seraphiel? I don’t know what you’re talking—’

‘You’ve marked him,’ Lucifer said, cutting Castiel off. ‘I’ve seen it in Gabriel’s Grace. Do not lie to me, _little_ brother. I could easily destroy you.’

‘Could you?’ Castiel countered. He stared hard at Lucifer’s face, illuminated by the glow of the fire. ‘You don’t look well.’

Lucifer smiled and nodded as he gestured to the welts on his face. ‘Yes… It’s this vessel. Nick is a poor substitute. Sam Winchester would be the better option, and I hear that he is fairly close by.’

‘He won’t say “yes”,’ Castiel insisted. ‘Not to _you_. Not ever.’

‘I beg to differ.’ Lucifer frowned and looked away as he felt a panicked spike of energy go through the old Angel Radio. He gave Castiel a curious gaze. ‘Where is Seraphiel?’

‘As far from you as possible,’ Castiel ground out.

‘Loyalty… Such a nice quality to see in this day and age,’ Lucifer said approvingly. There was another spike of panic, and he recognized it as Seraphiel, but he couldn’t tell how close or far Seraphiel was. Not yet. ‘I’m told you came here in an automobile.’

‘Yes?’ Castiel carefully replied.

‘What was it like?’ Lucifer asked. He was truly curious. Especially after hearing that it was currently Seraphiel’s preferred form of travel. Gabriel never shared much information, but he had gone on at length about being dragged along in a car for hours on end.

Castiel looked around, wondering what Lucifer was planning to do with him. It didn’t seem like the other angel was out to kill him or even punish him for winning Seraphiel’s affections. On the contrary, Lucifer was being quite civil. Not what he had been expecting at all. ‘Um… Slow. Confining,’ he eventually replied.

‘I see. Oh! It would seem that Seraphiel _is_ here, after all. And looking for you…,’ Lucifer said as Seraphiel’s voice rang out, demanding to know Castiel’s whereabouts. ‘Good. That should keep him busy for a while.’

Castiel tilted his head curiously at the tone in Lucifer’s voice. There was regret and guilt—almost apologetic. He licked his lips before speaking. ‘Whatever you’re about to do…please stop. It doesn’t have to be this way, Lucifer. D—Seraphiel believes in you. Don’t…don’t prove him wrong.’

Lucifer shook his head sadly and looked away. ‘It’s already too late,’ he quietly replied before leaving Castiel alone in the darkened room.


	37. Chapter 37

Gabriel’s head shot up, and he dropped the DVD he had been looking at. ‘Shit,’ he whispered. He quickly left the porn shop and looked up and down the empty street before flying to where Ellen and Jo were. ‘We got a problem,’ he said, landing behind them.

‘They don’t a have the latest installment of _Casa Erotica_?’ Ellen said sarcastically.

‘Well, that, too. But, no. I think Cas got caught,’ he replied.

Jo tightened her grip on her shotgun and moved to stand beside her mother. ‘Whaddya mean? How can you tell?’

Gabriel shook his head as he cast out his senses. ‘Right now, he’s the only angel around not hiding his Grace. He was there one second, gone the next.’

‘Do you think he’s dead?’ Jo asked in alarm.

Gabriel shook his head distractedly. ‘No… When an angel dies, there’s shockwaves. We’re close enough that I woulda felt it,’ he explained.

‘Then we should go help him,’ Ellen said, pushing past Gabriel. She pushed on the door, but it didn’t budge. ‘What… Hey! Unlock this!’

‘Lemme make one thing clear: Cas can take care of himself,’ Gabriel said. ‘I’m more worried about Seri. He’s already low on juice, and we have Lucifer runnin’ around town somewhere. Ain’t exactly a good mix, ya’ know?’

Ellen sighed and nodded. ‘So we check on Dean first.’

‘Good plan!’ Gabriel placed his hands on Ellen and Jo’s shoulders.

Jo breathed in sharply as the small store they were in vanished and was replaced with the inside of a police station. She saw Sam and Dean, looking at one of the computers in the back of the room. ‘Sam! Dean!’

Sam and Dean looked up in surprise, and Dean sharply jabbed Gabriel with his Grace.

‘What’s goin’ on?’ Dean asked.

‘Cas is trapped,’ Gabriel replied, narrowing his eyes as Dean’s wings spread out. ‘He’s not hurt. I can tell that much.’

‘Dammit!’ Dean shouted, slamming his fist on the desk. ‘Shouldn’t’a let him go off on his own!’

‘You think it was Lucifer?’ Sam asked.

‘Who else?’ Dean bit out. ‘We gotta find Cas!’

‘Sure thing, Seraphiel,’ Gabriel cut in, ‘but could you maybe, oh, I dunno… _Quit giving away our position_?!’

Dean growled as he pushed off the desk. ‘I’m not giving away anything!’ he shouted back. He sent out one last blast from his Grace, trying to catch a trace of Castiel, but to no avail. ‘Nothin’ that anyone can lock onto.’

‘Maybe not, but now Lucifer knows you’re here,’ Sam said.

‘We should still move on. Just in case,’ Ellen added.

Dean nodded and huffed as he sent out a threat to Lucifer. He received a quick reply, promising that Castiel was safe. Unhappy, but safe. He glanced at Gabriel and shook his head. ‘Whaddya think?’

‘Well, he’s not a liar. Cas can hold for a while,’ Gabriel replied.

‘Right…’ Dean sighed as he tucked his wings away.

‘So let’s take care of the demon outside, huh?’ Gabriel said with a smile. ‘Maybe they’ll know where Cas is.’

‘There’s a demon outside?’ Sam asked, looking to Dean for an answer.

‘And a couple hellhounds. Nothin’ to worry about,’ Dean replied with a shrug. He picked up his gun and headed to the door.

‘Don’t _play_ with them, Seri,’ Gabriel warned. ‘We have bigger fish to fry.’

Dean bristled as Gabriel’s Grace rubbed along his own. He paused with his hand on door, ready to push. He looked back at the other four and sighed. Gabriel was the only one not wearing a worried expression. ‘Fine, we’ll go out the back.’

‘Wait, how long have they been out there?’ Gabriel asked as he moved to stand next to Dean.

‘Right after me ‘n’ Sam got here.’

‘Sounds like a messenger with a pair of guards, in that case.’

Dean looked from Gabriel to Sam. ‘Messenger as in Meg?’

Sam shrugged as he frowned. ‘If it is, then why didn’t she just come right in?’

‘Orders? Playing it safe?’

‘The demon you made that deal with?’ Ellen said disapprovingly.

‘It’s a good deal!’ Dean insisted. ‘Look, this seems legit. Messenger with guards. They get in, deliver the message, and get out.’

‘Only they’re not packing the power to talk to a pair of angels and guarantee a survivor,’ Gabriel pointed out. ‘Lucifer doesn’t know yet.’

‘I still don’t like it,’ Ellen said.

The small group descended the steps of the police station and found Meg standing in the middle of the street. She had a cocky smirk, and it almost slipped the moment Dean’s wings came out and the hellhounds she had brought cowered behind her.

‘Heya, Dean-o,’ she said casually, standing her ground.

‘What’s he want?’ Dean growled as he stalked up to her.

‘You’re supposed to come with me… Just you and Sam,’ she said, looking past Dean to the rest of the group. She lowered her voice before she continued. ‘I can only guarantee their safety if you agree. And that’s only from the hounds.’

‘And if I don’t agree?’

‘Then I’m s’posed to drag you back kicking and screaming,’ she replied, nodding to the hellhounds.

‘Doesn’t look like they’re really up to it,’ Dean said as one of the hounds whimpered.

‘Well… This wasn’t part of the plan,’ Meg grudgingly admitted. ‘And I’m not allowed to say anything about it. Kinda stuck here, Dean. Gimme somethin’ to work with. _Please_. With the position you’ve so _graciously_ forced upon me, I’ve seen a different side of Lucifer than the others. I’ve seen how he looks at demons. _He_ made us, but we’re _worse_ than humans to him. I’m not gonna make it outta this alive if you don’t help me out.’

‘And why should I help _you_?’

Meg wracked her brain for anything she could use to entice Dean. There was plenty, but what would her contract let her say, and what could she say that would not anger Lucifer? ‘I…I know where your boyfriend is.’

Dean stared at Meg before reaching out to Gabriel for an opinion. He looked over as Gabriel came up beside him, followed closely by the others. ‘Well?’

‘Well, it all depends,’ Gabriel replied. ‘Just where is she gonna take you two?’

Meg looked uncertainly at Gabriel. ‘I’m not permitted to say. Who are you, anyway?’

‘I’m Gabriel,’ he said, flashing his wings. ‘And you can tell Lucy that I’m keeping an eye on these losers for my own selfish benefit.’ He took Dean by the elbow and led him a few feet away from the stunned demon. ‘She might be taking you to Lucifer,’ he whispered.

‘Or outta town.’

‘Then you just come straight back. Either way, it’s probably our best option without giving ourselves away,’ Gabriel said. ‘I’ll keep track of you, and once we get Cas out, we’ll be up an angel.’

Dean nodded, still not happy about the decision. ‘Then let’s hope for the best.’

‘Here. I know you have the gun, but…just in case, y’know?’ Gabriel said quietly as he held out an angel blade to Dean.

Dean’s breath caught, and he swallowed as he shakily reached for the blade. ‘A-are you sure?’

‘You haven’t earned it yet,’ Gabriel admitted. ‘But we need every edge we can get. I’m _loaning_ it to you. I expect it back after this fiasco. Got it?’

Dean’s fingers wrapped around the handle of his blade, and he sighed at the familiar feel of it. He could feel the talons of his true form being filled with the blade’s power. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but he could have sworn that he could feel traces of Heaven lingering on the blade. ‘It’s been so long,’ he whispered. He startled as Sam’s hand touched his shoulder, and he looked at his brother.

‘So, what’s the plan?’ Sam asked, looking from Dean to the blade.

Dean spun his blade in thought. ‘Stick to the plan,’ he replied. ‘We give him a chance.’

‘How many chances are we talkin’ here?’ Jo asked. ‘You’d bend over backwards for your family. So how far’s _too far_ when it comes to family?’

Gabriel and Dean shared a look as they brushed Graces. Gabriel shrugged and rubbed his neck. ‘Well… We definitely won’t let him get anywhere near our personal death tolls. How’s that sound?’

Ellen narrowed her eyes at the archangel. ‘Do you really think we should be giving him that much leeway?’

Sam watched as both Dean and Gabriel seemed to deflate. ‘Look, let’s just get this done. You guys get Cas, and we’ll go with Meg.’

‘She’s right,’ Dean said quietly. ‘Me ‘n’ Gabe already talked about it. He’ll get his chance. He refuses, I…I shoot ‘im.’

‘And if _that_ doesn’t work, I gave Seri back his blade,’ Gabriel quietly added. ‘That’ll take out an angel, no problem.’

‘Just a matter of getting close enough,’ Dean said. ‘Which shouldn’t be too hard once he knows who I am.’ He brushed off Gabriel’s warning to use that tactic only as a last resort.

‘Right…’ Ellen nodded uncertainly before glancing at Meg. The demon had an anxious look on her face. ‘You better hurry up. I’ll find a way to check in with Bobby. See if he’s found anything on what’s going on.’

.-.-.-.-.

Meg was having a hard time with her contract, and Dean was not helping. She had brought them to a bank and led them to the vault. She opened it and stood off to the side.

Dean looked incredulously from the vault to Meg. ‘Seriously?’

‘Just doing my job,’ she replied. ‘I’m supposed to keep Sam safe and Dean alive. What’s safer than a safe?

‘Helps that it keeps us out of the way, right?’ Sam said. ‘Do you really expect us to just walk in there?’

‘ _I_ expect you to walk in, wait until I get the hell outta Dodge, and _then_ break out,’ Meg replied.

‘And what’s Lucifer expect?’ Dean asked.

‘I… I don’t know,’ she said honestly. ‘He had a message for after this was done. I can’t give it to you, yet. But…I can tell you what I’ve seen.’

‘And what’s that?’ Dean asked, unable to hide the tightness in his voice.

‘In the chaos…he coulda kept everyone in town. Slaughter every last human. The other demons were so high on the mayhem, they didn’t notice that Lucifer left this big opening. A lot of people got out. He almost didn’t do it.’

‘So what changed his mind?’ Sam asked.

‘Seraphiel,’ she replied before directing her attention back to Dean. ‘Every bit of mercy he’s shown is all for _you_ , Dean.’

Dean turned away and chewed his lip in thought. He wished Meg hadn’t told him that. He was already having a hard time prepping himself for potentially killing Lucifer, and this new bit of insight was not going to make it any easier. He sighed heavily as he turned back to face Meg. ‘How long do you need to clear town?’ he asked.

‘Gimme an hour.’

‘You have to report back,’ Sam said, sharing a look with Dean.

‘Just get in the vault,’ Meg said. ‘And don’t follow me.’

Meg waited for the pair of brothers to enter the vault. She pushed on the door, pausing when it was still open just a crack. ‘One hour,’ she reminded.

Dean rolled his eyes and held up his wrist, showing off his watch. ‘One hour. Exactly. Starts the moment you close that door.’

The door shut, and the locks slid into place, echoing in the small chamber.

‘You _do_ have the mojo to get us outta here, right?’ Sam asked after a few minutes.

‘Yeah. It’ll drain me a bit, but my recoop time’s getting better,’ Dean replied. ‘Meg just slipped outta my range, and she doesn’t seem dumb enough to make a beeline straight to Lucifer.’

‘Maybe Cas or Bobby’ll have something.’

‘Or I can just blast my location. That’d probably get his attention.’

Sam leaned against the wall as he watched Dean. ‘Dean…’

‘Sam. I’m fine. I’m… I’ll be fine. I can do this.’

Sam looked at Dean doubtfully. ‘You’re gonna have to kill Lucifer. Your…your ex-lover or…brother or…whatever it is you guys are. Doing that, even for their own good, isn’t easy, Dean,’ he said quietly. ‘I’m not asking if you’re fine or if you’re gonna be fine. I just want you to know I’m here for you.’

Dean nodded as he leaned against the opposite wall and stared at the floor. ‘We don’t _know_ if we’re gonna have to kill him,’ he replied. ‘He might…he might back down. I mean, _you_ heard Meg. This whole town coulda been massacred.’

‘But he’s still killing innocent people.’

‘Like I’m not just as guilty,’ Dean snapped. ‘May not’ve killed an innocent with my own hands, but I’m sure as fuck responsible for a lot. All those wars I started? Hell, I put a guy on track to go to Hell just ‘cuz he beat me at backgammon! You remember the nun orgy? Like it really ended well for _them_. One night of fun, and they get flogged the next day. The girl I possessed? They tried her as a witch. I didn’t care. I had my fun. I got what _I_ wanted. So what makes me so special? What makes _me_ forgivable but not Lucifer? Why do _I_ get a second chance but not him?’

Sam looked away. He was at a loss for words. He knew that Dean—Seraphiel—had not been a pleasant being. He had done his research—found every scrap of information he could on the angel. Knowing what little he did about Seraphiel’s Fall and knowing Dean, he had found that everything pointed to a very angry and scared child, lashing out at everything and everyone around him.

As much as he wanted to keep the idea of Seraphiel separate from Dean, Sam could always spot the similarities. Dean always had the potential for being cruel—and he would be if anyone ever crossed him or threatened Sam. But he was also one of the kindest and most loving people he knew. If Seraphiel could change for the better, then was it possible for Lucifer to do the same?

Seraphiel had to find his way on his own, but Lucifer had both Seraphiel and Gabriel ready and willing to do anything to save him. Sam looked to the side as he remembered something Dean had said a while back. Seraphiel had been made for Lucifer. Neither Dean nor Gabriel knew exactly what for, but Sam was beginning to have his own suspicions. He looked up at Dean, who was staring miserably at the floor.

‘Then we’ll give him a proper chance,’ Sam said, causing Dean to look up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. He shook his head and laughed softly. ‘We’ll try to save the devil.’


	38. Chapter 38

Gabriel moved through the large building, heading straight to where Meg had said Castiel was being kept. The light of a bright fire flickered through a doorway, and Gabriel hurried along. He turned the corner and found Castiel standing in the middle of a circle of holy fire, glaring at the large pipe that dangled from the ceiling—just on the other side of the wall of flames.

‘Cas! You’re okay!’

Castiel shifted his stare to Gabriel and nodded. ‘Where is Dean?’

‘He’s safe. Either on his way to meet Lucifer or to be kept out of the way,’ Gabriel replied. He raised his hand and suppressed the flames, freeing Castiel from the circle. ‘Either way…they’re gonna meet up soon.’

‘Alone? Are you sure that’s wise?’

‘Well, Sam’s with him.’ Gabriel shrugged as he turned to leave. ‘So, no. Not really wise, but it’s about the best plan we have so far. C’mon. Ellen ‘n’ Jo are trying to get ahold of Bobby.’

Castiel followed Gabriel in silence. He didnt want to chance leaving Dean alone with Lucifer for too long. He knew he could trust Dean, but he didn’t know what Lucifer would do. They arrived outside and found Ellen and Jo waiting for them.

‘Bobby thinks Lucifer’s tryin’ to summon Death,’ Ellen said the moment she saw them.

‘That would explain all the reapers. Waitin’ for the big boss to show up,’ Gabriel said, looking around. ‘Great. Any idea _where_ he’s gonna do it?’

‘Cemetery.’

Gabriel looked from Ellen to Castiel and sighed. ‘Should we try to stop this ourselves or let Seri go through with it on his own?’

‘I’m not sure,’ Castiel reluctantly admitted. ‘Lucifer… He didn’t say anything directly, but he seemed to regret his actions.’

‘Well, the Horsemen have always been waiting on the sidelines. They show up in order, but you can always call ‘em in early with the right…’ Gabriel trailed off and widened his eyes in surprise. ‘Wait. Regret in what way?’

‘In disappointing Dean, I believe.’

‘Not for risking his own safety?’

Castiel narrowed his eyes in confusion. ‘I’m not sure I understand what you mean.’

‘The Horsemen are the key to Lucifer’s cage. Like, literally. Those dumb rings of theirs are the actual key.’

‘So why’s he summoning Death early?’ Jo asked.

‘He wouldn’t happen to be giving Dean an easy out for locking him up, would he?’ Ellen said with a grim look.

‘I don’t know. Dad ordered Michael to toss him in the cage after he started making demons. He had enough time to make a small army before Seri faced Judgement and spit in Dad’s face,’ Gabriel said. ‘At least Luce gave orders to keep Seri outta Hell. Who knows how fucked up he woulda ended up if he’d have been welcomed.’

‘So why didn’t Dean—er, Seraphiel—get thrown in, too?’ Ellen asked.

‘Dad didn’t order it. I think everyone just assumed that it was because He didn’t wanna risk Lucifer escaping,’ Gabriel explained. ‘But now…I’m not so sure _what_ Dad was thinking.’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean leaned against a lamp post, catching his breath.

‘Dean… I really think you should ask for help,’ Sam said as he waited.

Dean shook his head and pushed himself off the post. ‘I’m fine,’ he insisted. ‘Just wasn’t expecting the angel warding on the vault to give me problems. I can do this.’

‘Do you even know where you’re going?’

‘Somethin’ big is goin’ down over there,’ he replied, pointing straight ahead. ‘And all the reapers are watching.’

Sam nodded and followed Dean along the road. The sky grew darker as the sun set, and they were soon on the edge of an old cemetery with trees and remnants of the Civil War scattered around. They moved between the trees in silence. A short distance ahead, they could make out the shapes of several people standing in a group, facing the same direction. Before the group was a man, shoveling dirt into a hole.

Dean grabbed Sam by the arm and quickly led him behind a large tree. ‘That’s Lucifer. With the shovel,’ he whispered. He shook as he hugged himself, resisting the urge to reach out for the other angel.

‘Do you need me to do this?’ Sam asked.

Dean shook his head and swallowed. ‘No… Just…just get his attention, so I can get in close.’

Sam stared at Dean for a long moment before slowly nodding. ‘I’m trusting you, Dean,’ he said before moving out from behind the tree and through the small crowd to confront Lucifer from behind. He raised his shotgun and shouted. ‘Hey! You wanted to see me?’

Lucifer slowly turned and dropped the shovel. ‘Oh, Sam… You don’t need that gun here,’ he said. ‘You know I’d never hurt you. Not really.’

‘Yeah? Well, _I’d_ hurt you,’ a voice said from beside him.

He turned his head to see Dean pointing a gun at him, aiming right between his eyes. He raised a brow in question as he swept his Grace over the newcomer. Something wasn’t quite right with the young man, but he couldn’t place his finger on what. ‘Michael’s vessel… Shouldn’t you be pledging your undying allegiance to him?’ he asked. He frowned as Dean lowered the gun, a flicker of worry passing over the human’s face.

‘Michael can suck it,’ Dean bit out. His breath caught as Lucifer’s wings slowly unfurled. They were still as beautiful and pristine as Dean remembered. Three pairs of perfect wings—every feather shining against the night in the purest of whites. He swallowed as he kept his eyes locked onto Lucifer’s, doing his best not to give himself away. He flinched as Lucifer raised a hand, and he pulled the trigger, sending a bullet straight into Lucifer’s knee.

Lucifer hissed in pain, but remained standing, glaring at the human before him. He sneered hatefully as Dean dropped the gun. ‘That toy of yours can’t kill _me_ ,’ he said as he drew his arm back. He punched Dean in the stomach, using a small bit of his power to send him flying a few feet back.

Dean landed heavily on the ground, gasping for air. He quickly raised his head and stared at Lucifer with wide eyes. He hadn’t meant to shoot Lucifer. Not yet. They were supposed to talk first. He could see Sam out of the corner of his eye and waved his hand for his brother to stay back. Shakily, he got to his feet.

Lucifer tilted his head as he regarded Dean. ‘You’re rather resilient,’ he said as he stepped forward.

Dean cringed as Lucifer’s Grace swept over him curiously. He kept his own Grace well-hidden as he pushed his human traits forward, feeding Lucifer what he wanted.

‘Such a good little soldier,’ Lucifer spat, finding Dean’s memories of John. ‘Fitting that you would be Michael’s true vessel. Well, if he wants to play this as it was written, then he can put you back together. Piece by piece.’

Dean gasped in pain as Lucifer’s power pressed down on him. He felt a bone break and whimpered as he clutched his arm. He could ignore the pain his body felt, but not the hatred emanating from Lucifer. He clenched his eyes shut as a tear fell down his cheek. This was not how it was supposed to go. ‘Stop it,’ he begged in a broken whisper.

Lucifer let out a short, incredulous laugh. ‘Why? So that you can attempt and fail to kill me? Do you even know just what you’re involved in? What part you must play? There’s no stopping it. Even if I were to kill you, you would be brought back,’ he said bitterly. ‘So why should I not take you out of the equation until Michael deems it necessary to bring you back?’

Dean looked up as he felt a small wave of helplessness flow through Lucifer’s Grace. Another loud snap of a bone. ‘That’s not what I meant,’ he replied. ‘God knows I deserve this and worse. I failed you. I love you, but I didn’t love you enough to do the right thing. I failed us both.’

Lucifer took a quick step back, staring down at Dean warily. His Grace drifted over the cringing human, looking closer. All he could feel was a human soul. But…something was off. The soul he felt wasn’t right. It was as if it were manufactured—an imitation of how a human soul _should_ feel.

‘Please, Lucifer,’ Dean said quietly. ‘Please stop it. Stop hurting people. Stop following this…this plan. It doesn’t have to be this way.’

‘This is a trick,’ Lucifer whispered before sending another strong blast at Dean.

Dean cried out as he lost control over his wings and Grace. He wrapped his wings protectively around himself as he fell to his knees.

Lucifer’s eyes widened in shock as the false human soul was replaced by a familiar Grace. ‘Seraphiel… But that’s… How…?’ He hurried to Dean and knelt in front of him, slowly reaching out to touch a red wing. ‘Who did this to you?’ he demanded in a harsh whisper.

Dean flinched away, refusing to look at Lucifer. He felt the wings of another wrap around him, and he pulled his own tighter about himself. Love and apologies radiated from Lucifer as the angel healed Dean’s bones and numbed the pain.

‘I’m so sorry, Seraphiel. I never meant to harm you. Never you.’

‘Please stop,’ Dean said as he lifted his head and met Lucifer’s eyes. ‘It’s not too late.’

Lucifer looked over his shoulder to the hole he had been filling. ‘Yes, it is…’

‘Did…did you kill the townspeople?’

‘I gave the order,’ Lucifer admitted, looking down. ‘All for the ritual to summon Death, so yes, I am responsible. It’s strange how no one has shown up to stop me.’

‘ _I’m_ here to stop you.’

‘A bit late, I’m afraid. It’s no use. There’s no changing it. I’ll simply play my part. Be the devil they all know me to be.’

‘It doesn’t have to be this way! Prove them wrong! If _I_ can change, then so can you,’ Dean insisted. ‘And I’ve done so much worse than you.’

Lucifer looked back at Dean. ‘You? You could never do worse than me. I headed the rebellion. I slaughtered so many of our own. All you did was follow.’

Dean looked away as his guilt kicked up. ‘I am responsible for so much death and destruction. More that just our own kin and Heaven. The blood on your hands is _nothing_ compared to the blood on mine. You’ve been locked up. You’ve been kept away… Me? I’ve been…I’ve been busy,’ he said with a broken laugh.

Lucifer lightly stroked Dean’s Grace, searching for answers. What he found worried him. Memories of Seraphiel’s time on Earth flooded him. His sweet, loving brother had lashed out against their Father the only way he knew that could possibly hurt Him—he had gone after the humans. So many deaths and ruined lives. So many more casualties than what Heaven had suffered. ‘And Father…never punished you?’ he asked. He would have thought that God would have struck Seraphiel down at the first human death.

Dean shook his head as he tentatively touched Lucifer’s Grace. ‘Being ignored is a greater punishment than you could ever imagine,’ he said. ‘I had no one. Any angel that was on Earth avoided me. And then…they all left.’

Lucifer slowly let Seraphiel into his Grace, holding back a surprised gasp. He hadn’t had a proper chance to look through Seraphiel’s Grace when he was first released, and he wished he had known just how damaged the other angel was. Had he known, he would have dropped everything. His vengeance on God and Heaven be damned. His sweet, beautiful Seraphiel had been damaged beyond repair, and Lucifer only had himself to blame. The bright, clear Grace he had known and loved was so dark and corrupted now—deep scars left by sin and Hell’s taint. Bitter and alone, but still full of so much love and devotion for those who earned it. He could feel Dean’s love for his human brother, and he glanced over to where Sam stood—cautiously watching the pair, but giving them space.

‘I had to find love and family elsewhere,’ Dean said, following Lucifer’s gaze. He licked his lips before carefully choosing his words. ‘With humans. They’re capable of so much more than we ever thought. Of so much goodness and love. There’s a few bad apples, but it’s worth it to find the good ones.’ He swallowed as he touched Lucifer’s cheek, gaining his full attention. ‘If I had to choose…I-I think I’d pick Earth over Heaven.’

Lucifer stared at Dean in shock. Through their entwined Graces, he felt no deceit. He could also feel his old mark on Seraphiel’s Grace and frowned as he found Castiel’s right next to it. He didn’t bother to hide his confusion as his Grace curiously poked at his mark and Castiel’s.

Dean looked down, blushing lightly. ‘H-he didn’t want to replace it,’ he explained. ‘He loves all of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly.’

‘No matter what, no matter the taint, you will never be ugly, Seraphiel,’ Lucifer said, cupping Dean’s cheek.

Dean snickered as he met Lucifer’s eyes. ‘It’s a movie reference. I’m sure Gabriel would be _more_ than happy to subject you to humanity’s more, uh… _colorful_ side.’

‘He _has_ been persistent in trying to speak with me,’ Lucifer said with a quiet smile. ‘He had left  so suddenly before…before the rebellion. He never said why. I was so alone, and…I believe I may have smothered you in an attempt to ease my own pain.’

Dean licked his lips as he watched Lucifer stand. ‘Shouldn’t push it, but… Luce, I gotta know… Are you gonna stop?’

‘I… Seraphiel, I can’t just stop this,’ Lucifer said quietly. He stared down at Dean with sorrowful eyes. ‘Everything is already in motion. If I were to call it all off…’

‘The demons would wonder what the fuck was going on and lash out,’ Dean finished. ‘The Horsemen, too.’

‘At least with Death... _they_ will be a little more controllable.’

‘It’s out of your control,’ Dean said quietly as he stood. ‘We’re fucked no matter what.’

Lucifer frowned, catching Dean’s meaning by his tone. ‘Yes… I can try to keep things a little more contained on my end, but there are so many demons. More than I was expecting. I knew humans had the capacity, but this is…unexpected.’

Dean coughed self-consciously. ‘Yeah, uh… I, uh, may have had something to do with that.’

Lucifer looked at Dean sadly. He had never meant for Seraphiel to Fall so far. He had tried to protect the other angel by pushing him away, but it had all been for naught. ‘I’ll do what I can,’ he promised as he turned away. His wings spread on reflex as he faced Castiel, and he narrowed his eyes at the angel who had been standing just behind him. ‘Castiel. I see you managed to get out.’

Castiel’s eyes flicked from Lucifer to Dean and back. He held his blade in his hand, ready to attack. ‘Yes. I was…lucky,’ he carefully replied.

‘Gabriel let you out,’ Lucifer said knowingly. ‘Give him my… Well…’

‘I’ll tell him,’ Dean said quietly, placing his hand on Lucifer’s shoulder.

Lucifer nodded and moved past Castiel. He ran his Grace along the younger angel’s, sending threats and promises of what he would do if Castiel were to ever hurt Seraphiel. ‘You’d better leave. The ritual is done. Everything else is just formality, but if it’s not performed, then Death will be offended,’ he said quietly.

‘Can’t have that,’ Dean mumbled sarcastically.

Lucifer faced Dean with a sigh. ‘No. We can’t. The Horsemen may be under my control, but it’s a fragile hold. All I can do is point them in a direction and hope for the best. In all honesty, _I_ don’t care what casualties arise, but…for you and Gabriel, I will do my best to limit it.’

‘Or you could tell us where they’re gonna be, and we can take them out,’ Dean said with a half-hearted grin.

‘I can only let so much slip. If you were to begin successfully thwarting me at every turn, Heaven would take notice and descend on you,’ Lucifer said, looking to the group of transfixed demons. ‘I’m already risking everything speaking with you. As much as I hate our current means of communication…using the demon, Meg, is still out best option. I have no doubt that Michael will soon know your whereabouts. You can’t hide forever.’

Dean nodded as Castiel and Sam came to stand beside him.

‘And Seraphiel… Although I am not opposed to seeing this play out differently than how it was written, I do not believe Michael will be as willing,’ Lucifer warned. ‘He follows orders blindly. No amount of reasoning will sway him.’

‘Yeah. I know. And without Dad to tug on the leash, it’s gonna be a shit ton of fun.’ Dean reluctantly pulled his Grace away from Lucifer’s. He was grateful when Castiel’s Grace immediately wrapped around him. ‘Will… Will I see you again?’

‘If our paths naturally cross, yes. For now, play this as it was meant to be,’ Lucifer replied. ‘Do _not_ let Michael catch on. He will strike fast and hard when he finds out. I’m sure any humans caught in the crossfire will go to Heaven for their trouble, and to him that’s all that matters.’

‘Free pass isn’t much consolation if you don’t get to make your own choices and live your life,’ Dean replied. ‘Think a lot of humans would feel cheated by that.’

Lucifer paused as he reached down to retrieve the shovel. ‘I see. Is that what you’re doing now, Seraphiel? Living a borrowed human life? _Your_ life?’

Dean swallowed and nodded. ‘As best I can,’ he replied. ‘I think…all angels should give it a try. To just experience the world. See what it is Dad wanted us to protect.’

Lucifer nodded silently as he resumed filling the hole with dirt. ‘You’d better go,’ he said as he finished.

‘But—’

He looked over his shoulder in time to see Castiel place his hands on Sam and Dean’s shoulders before the three vanished. A moment later, Seraphiel’s voice filled Angel Radio with worry, begging Lucifer to be careful. He looked to the demons—still in their trance. He closed his connection and focused his attention. He had a ritual to finish and a Horseman to convince.

 


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue lifted from S05E17. Episode being used early for reasons.

'You've gotta be shittin' me...' Bobby stared in disbelief at the small group of hunters and angels gathered in his study. Everyone was alive and well—he had hoped for the outcome, but he certainly hadn’t expected it. And then for Dean to declare that _Lucifer_ was somewhat of an ally… There had to be a catch.

Dean shrugged loosely and looked away. ‘He… He’s gonna do as much damage control as he can.’

‘ _Why_?’ Bobby stressed. ‘He’s got no reason to help us.’

‘He feels guilty,’ Gabriel replied. ‘Kinda his fault Seri’s so fucked up.’ He rolled his eyes as Dean threw him a glare. ‘Oh, c’mon. Luce isn’t anywhere near as corrupted as you.’

'Then let me do you a favor,' Dean said and immediately cut himself off from Gabriel and Castiel’s Graces, crossing his arms.

Castiel sighed and moved to stand beside Dean. He lightly touched Dean's arm since his Grace was being ignored.

Gabriel threw his arms up in frustration. ‘But it’s the truth! I’m not saying it to be mean,’ he insisted. 'You really think _I_ came outta playing a pagan god unscathed?!’

Dean rounded on Gabriel, raising his wings and ignoring how Gabriel's eyes lingered along the tips. 'Sinners don't stack up the same as innocents and you know it,' he hissed.

'Maybe not, but human sacrifice in your name has its own brand of fucked up, and _you know it_ ,' Gabriel shot back. 'I wasn't just a trickster, I was Loki! I had a good gig going. I had friends! And now? Now, I'm stuck with you lot, fighting a war I want nothin' to do with!'

'So leave! No one's asking you to stay!'

'No! I said I ain't running this time, so I'm stickin' here! You lucky jerks are stuck with me.'

Dean gave his wings a sharp flap, and Gabriel raised own. 'If we weren't so desperate for help...'

'I know, I know. I'd be out on my rear. Keep telling yourself that.'

A soft ringtone broke the tension that had settled, and Dean growled in annoyance as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out his phone and grimaced at the number. 'It's Meg.'

He glanced up and sighed at the various disapproving looks he received. His wings sagged as he looked back at the small screen, still telling himself it was a good deal. He felt Castiel and Gabriel attempting to stroke his Grace, and he answered the call, reluctantly letting them in. 'Meg! To what do I owe the pleasure?' he said, feigning confidence.

'A, uh, message,' Meg replied uncertainly. 'A hint, I guess.'

Dean frowned and glanced at Sam as he switched to speakerphone. 'What sorta hint?'

'The kind about whores and prophets.'

'Chuck's getting laid? Good for him.'

'Who? What? No! Look, you wanna go save this town or what?'

'What town?' Dean asked with a sigh.

.-.-.-.-.

‘Starting to think turning down Gabriel's help was a bad idea,’ Sam said as he looked over his shoulder. ‘Drive faster, Dean!’

‘I can’t! Or do you want me to get out and push?!’ Dean snapped.

‘If you think it’d help.’ Sam looked at Dean, his eyes running over his brother’s shoulders. ‘Why didn’t you just flash your wings or something?’

Dean shook his head and frowned as they quickly approached a burning blockade. ‘Because something else is here, and I don’t wanna tip it off just yet,’ he said. ‘Windows!’

Sam and Dean both leaned toward the middle of the vehicle as the windows were smashed in and hands reached for them. Water then sprayed over the grasping demons, calling their attention away from the brothers

‘Holy water,’ Dean said lowly. ‘And a handful of humans.'

The pair watched as one of the men spoke into a megaphone, quickly sending the demons fleeing from their vessels in smokey masses.

‘That’s useful,’ Sam said. He glanced at Dean and caught the small smirk on his brother’s lips. ‘What’s so funny?’

‘Modern Enochian,’ Dean mumbled in reply. ‘I think we found what Luce was hinting at, ‘cuz I don’t think “goat-mouth fucker” would exorcise _anything_. That, and those demons were cacklin’ up a storm as they left.’

‘You two all right?’ the man with the megaphone asked as he came up to them.

‘Peachy,’ Dean replied, doing another sweep with his senses, but coming up empty. He could still feel the larger evil on the edge of his senses, but no demons.

‘Be careful,’ the man continued. ‘It’s…dangerous around here.’

Dean stared at him for a moment, wondering if he should call out to Gabriel for extra help. Nothing seemed right. Demons weren’t known for giving out fake magical phrases then playing along with them. He needed to find out what was going on.

As he spoke to the man, he found out that Rob was part of what had been dubbed the Sacrament Lutheran Militia and that their town had been hit so hard by demons that everyone living there was in the know. It was to the point that a small wedding saw all the guests carrying weapons, making it a surreal experience for Sam and Dean. Watching as children pitched in to help with the fight had reminded Dean of the old days when demons were rampant and entire villages worked together against the threat. It made him wonder what sort of old school demon had taken up camp within the small town.

He felt a pang of nostalgia, but quickly stamped it down, reminding himself of the loneliness he had endured. It was also a bitter reminder that he had been the cause of such reactions within villages long ago.

It was as they were speaking with Pastor David Gideon that Dean felt the presence he had been sensing draw closer. He quickly pushed his human aspects forward just before he felt the soft, inquisitive caresses of the other presence. He forced himself not to face where it was coming from, doing everything to focus on the pastor’s words instead. If he could just out the demon without giving himself away… But the pastor kept brushing him off.

‘Dad, it’s okay,’ a young woman said as she approached.

‘Leah…’

Dean watched the exchange between father and daughter, wondering if he could do a sweep over the poor girl with his Grace to see if there was anything of her left in there. If they were lucky, there was nothing left. No one came away from a possession that dark and remained okay.

‘It’s Sam and Dean Winchester,’ Leah said, smiling reassuringly. ‘They’re safe. I know all about them.’

‘You do?’ Dean said, narrowing his eyes. Had Lucifer set him up? Had everything been a lie?

‘Sure. From the angels,’ she replied.

He rolled his eyes. ‘The angels. Awesome.’ He tried to recall everything he knew about the apocalypse, trying to figure out what was going on.

‘Don’t worry. They can’t see you here,’ Leah said reassuringly. ‘The…marks on your ribs, right?’

‘So you know all about us because angels told you?’ Sam asked. He glanced at Dean and caught the distracted look.

‘Yes. Among other things.’

‘Like the snappy, little exorcism spell,’ Dean prompted.

She nodded. ‘And they show me where the demons are going to be before it happens. How to fight back,’ she replied, her smile still friendly and inviting.

‘Never been wrong,’ David said proudly. ‘Not once. She’s very special.’

Dean itched under the demon’s constant attention. He almost reflexively released his hold of his Grace as he remembered what Meg had said. Whores and prophets. He knew what they were dealing with. ‘And let me guess… Before you see something, you get a really bad migraine. You see flashing lights.’

‘How’d you know?’ Leah asked in wonder.

Dean resisted scoffing. He knew for a fact that each prophet had a different reaction. The one he described just happened to be one of the more common ones. ‘You’re not the first prophet we’ve met,’ he said carefully. He wasn’t sure how much information she had about what she was imitating.

.-.-.-.-.

Later that night, Sam and Dean were sitting at the bar of a tavern. Sam had already left a message for Gabriel and tried to leave one for Castiel. He hung up with a heavy sigh and looked at Dean, shrugging.

‘No luck, huh?’ Dean sighed and took a drink from his beer. He sent a quick message across Angel Radio to Gabriel, berating him for ignoring his phone. ‘Nothin’ good on the radio. Just a running ad for some movie,’ he said carefully, glancing around.

‘Great. Any theories for what’s going on?’ Sam asked. He frowned at the small nod Dean gave him, quickly followed by a shake of the head.

‘Not a clue. Demons wanna gank the girl? Take the prophet outta the picture?’

‘So angels are sending these people out to do their dirty work? I mean, I know angels are lazy, but...really?'

Dean gave Sam a tired look for the slight jab. ‘All signs point to “yes,”’ he replied snarkily. ‘So?’

‘So, they’re gonna get ripped to shreds,’ Sam replied. He looked around the bar at the people drinking and wondered just how hard they’d been hit. How many people they’d lost. And just what were the demons getting out of this? They were letting themselves be easily defeated. Was it some big joke? He looked back at Dean and scrapped that idea. Dean was anxious about something, but they hadn’t had much of a free moment to really talk. For all he knew, the entire town was overrun with demons, and it was just an elaborate trap for the brothers.

‘We’re all gonna die, Sam,’ Dean said as he looked around. ‘In, like, a month…maybe two. And they all know it. This is the end of the world, but these people aren’t freaking out. In fact, they’re running to the exit in an orderly fashion.’ He raised his brow expectantly at Sam.

‘Who says they’re all gonna die?’ Sam shot back. ‘Whatever happened to us saving them?’

A church bell rang, and Sam and Dean watched as the bar cleared out. They learned that Leah had supposedly had a vision of a demon attack, and Dean had to resist openly scoffing. Even if there was going to be a demon attack, this was not how demons operated.

They tagged along the next day, and Dean was finally able to disclose what he knew to Sam in the car.

‘The Whore?’ Sam repeated with a half-laugh.

‘Hey, _I_ didn’t pick the name. I think “pretender” or “false prophet” would be better, but it just doesn’t have the same impact or something as "The Whore of Babylon",’ Dean replied. ‘Never met her, so I’m not sure what her MO is. She _is_ a mind reader, though, so I’m stretched a little thin tryin’ to keep her outta _your_ head and feed her BS from my own.’

Sam nodded in understanding. ‘So… You think she’s giving the community a false sense of security, then take ‘em all out?’

Dean’s brows furrowed as he thought about Sam’s suggestion. He slowly nodded as he pulled his car up beside the others. ‘I guess that makes sense. Make ‘em think they have the upperhand, then laugh in their faces as they beg for their lives.’

‘So we stop her before it gets that far,’ Sam said, ignoring what Dean was implying about himself. ‘How do we kill her?’

‘First, we need a stake made from the wood of a cypress tree in Babylon. Then we need a servant of Heaven.’

‘So we get the stick, then you gank her.’

Dean shook his head sadly. ‘Not a servant of Heaven, Sammy. Haven’t been for a real long time. Cas might work, but even that… Hell, even Gabe won’t work. Once you Fall… Once you’re even a little corrupted...’ He sighed heavily and opened his door, plastering a shit eating grin on his face.

Part of Dean wanted to flash his wings and power at the demons as they cleared out the house, but that would give the game away and force Leah to flee. So he played along, even letting Dylan, a teenager that had joined on the ‘hunt,’ look like he had saved his ass a couple times.

When Sam had raised a brow at him, he replied back ‘Confidence never hurt no one.’

When they finished up with the demons, Sam, Dean, and Dylan gathered next to the Impala. Sam rolled his eyes as Dean went from stroking the kid’s ego to offering him a beer on the condition that the kid’s mother didn’t find out.

‘Believe me. I will not,’ Dylan promised as he opened the beer tossed to him and turned to lean his back against the car. He heard a swift scrape from beneath the car and turned just in time to see Dean straightening, bloody knife in hand. ‘W-what…?’

‘We missed one,’ Dean easily replied. ‘Lucky her foot was stickin’ out, otherwise, you’d be demon food.’

Dylan laughed nervously and glanced around. ‘Think we...missed any more?’

Dean shook his head. ‘Nah. And if there are, they’ve cleared out. Don’t wanna mess with three top notch hunters, right?’ he said, winking. He picked up the beer he had set on the car roof and tipped it to Dylan.

Dylan let out a shaky breath and nodded, sipping at his own beer.

.-.-.-.-.

Sam and Dean walked into the church, Dylan following closely behind. The kid ran right up to his mother, pulling her into a tight hug.

‘Dylan!’ She brought her arms up and lightly hugged him back, smiling in bewilderment. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Jane… I’m so s—D-Dylan,’ Leah stuttered as she approached the group. ‘You’re...alive.’

Jane turned around, giving Leah a worried stared. ‘Alive? What do you mean, _alive_?’

Leah’s features quickly shifted into a warm, apologetic smile. ‘The angels contacted me after everyone had left. They said that even more demons would be there. They...they said there might be casualties,’ she said. ‘I was so worried when I found out that Dylan was coming back with Sam and Dean. I’m...I’m so glad they were there to protect him.’

Jane sighed in relief and kissed the side of Dylan’s head, hugging him tightly. ‘I could have lost you!’ she whispered. She pulled away and smiled tearily at Sam and Dean. ‘Thank you. Thank you so much.’

‘All in a day’s work,’ Dean replied. ‘Demons, renegade angels, monsters… We can handle it.’ He moved his gaze to Leah and did his best not to give her a cocky grin. ‘Your angels aren’t exactly on top of it.’

‘They warn me as best they can,’ Leah said. ‘With the…apocalypse going on, things are bound to get a little confusing on all sides, and—’ With a small gasp, she fell the ground, convulsing.

Dean didn’t bother to hide rolling his eyes as he turned away. ‘A vision. Oh, boy.’ He gave Sam an annoyed look and wished he could run off right then and there to get the stake they would need.

David knelt by his daughter and helped her to stand when the seizure had passed.

‘I’m fine. Thank you,’ she said softly, facing the small crowd of people gathered in the church. ‘The angels have spoken to me. They helped with Dylan. Guided Sam and Dean to ensure his safety.’

Dean nodded to the side, mentally acknowledging that he was an angel, and he had guided himself. If only Leah had known how close to the mark her vision was.

‘It was a reward. For all our good work so far,’ Leah continued. ‘We are chosen! Come Judgement Day, we will be reunited with our loved ones. Just as Dylan and his family have been reunited this very day.’

Dean closed his eyes, understanding the original spin that Leah was going to use if Dylan had died. He opened them and saw that Sam wore a similar expression.

‘The angels have chosen us, and we _will_ be given paradise on Earth.’ Leah paused as she looked around at the faces, staring at her in hopeful adoration. ‘All we have to do…is follow the angels’ commandments. But if they’re not followed...’ Her gaze shifted to Dylan, and she shook her head sadly. ‘They’ll take back their gift.’


	40. Chapter 40

As Sam and Dean left the church, Sam ticked off some of the commandments Leah had given.

‘No drinking, no gambling, no premarital sex… Dean, they basically just outlawed ninety percent of your personality,’ he said with a laugh.

Dean nodded, and smirked at Sam. ‘Well, when in Rome…’

‘Really? _You_? You’re agreeing with this?’

Dean shrugged and looked around. He could feel Leah’s presence keeping an eye on him and Sam. He glanced at Sam and rolled his eyes. ‘As i—’ His mouth snapped shut as someone passed by, and he watched them. ‘People here might not need us. They seem good. Taken care of,’ he said slowly, keeping an eye on the people around them. ‘I guess we should head on out, but, uh… Car battery died. I’m gonna go see if anyone can...jump start her.’

Sam nodded as he watched Dean walk off.

.-.-.-.-.

Dean found Leah easily enough. All he had to do was follow the dark tendrils of her power. He could feel them following both him and Sam, keeping tabs on their movements within the town. If they knew what her endgame was, then they could at least cut her off while they came up with someone to kill her. If he could get her to make her move, things would go a lot more quickly. Maybe if she didn’t see him as a threat?

As he spoke to her, he played up his insecurities. He went on about how he figured he wouldn’t make it to paradise, making a comment about being cursed rather than chosen. It was as he was leaving that he knew he had her hooked.

‘Must be hard. Being the vessel of Heaven and having no hope,’ she said.

Dean supposed it was meant to be pitying, but he could catch the gloating undertones. He stared at her for a moment, and pushed a little more misery into his constructed soul. He felt her let up from watching him to focus more on Sam. As he left the room, he let his own power discreetly follow hers, locating Sam at the tavern. He smiled, knowing that it would help tip her towards making her move sooner. Dylan’s survival, Dean’s lack of faith, and Sam’s acceptance of deviancy would be just enough.

.-.-.-.-.

That night, Dean waited for Sam to arrive back at their motel room. He glanced up, giving a knowing smirk. ‘Where you been?’

‘Drinkin’,’ Sam replied as he removed his coat.

Dean laughed softly as he nodded. ‘You rebel.’

‘Woulda had more…but it was _curfew_ ,’ Sam said in annoyance. ‘You hear they shut down the cell towers?’

Dean tilted his head in interest. ‘News to me. Anything else?’

‘No cable. Internet. Total cut-off from the “corruption of the outside world,”’ Sam replied. ‘They’re turning this place into some sort of fundamentalist compound.’

Dean nodded as he sucked his lower lip in thought. Leah had been busy since he’d left.

‘What’s next? Stoning? Poisoned Kool-Aid? These so-called “angels” are _toying_ with these people! And they're just going along with it!'

‘Angel world, angel rules, man,’ Dean said softly. 'Some folk need to be told what to do. There's a reason for the shepherd and flock comparison.' He looked off to the distance suddenly, causing Sam to tense up.

‘What’s going on? She makin’ her move?’

‘Think so… Huh. _And_ there’s an angel headed this way… Cas is almost here.’

‘Hear anything back from Gabriel?’

‘You’re not gonna believe this, but he managed to get Lucifer to see a movie with him. A _comedy_.’

Sam snorted in disbelief. ‘Willingly? So he _wants_ to lose Lucifer’s help?’

Dean smirked and shook his head. ‘I had a running commentary for about two hours of Luce and Gabe going back and forth about slapstick. So…I’m gonna let Gabe slide on not helpin’ out. That, and he’s got a “lead” on Pestilence.’ He stood from the bed and moved to the door. ‘When Cas gets here, tell him to get us that stake. He’s takin’ his time for whatever reason. I’ll make sure Leah doesn’t cause too much damage,’ he said as he left the motel room.

Sam sighed as the door shut. It was around ten minutes later that he heard the refrigerator door open. He turned to find Castiel staring inside it, frowning.

‘I got your message,’ Castiel slurred. ‘It was _long_ , your message. And I find the sound of your voice grating. Next time, have Dean leave it. At least _then_ there will be _some_ consolation.’

Sam frowned as Castiel shut the fridge. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked, watching the angel sway back and forth. ‘Are you… _drunk_?’ In any other situation, he would have found it amusing, but right now?

‘No,’ Castiel flatly denied before slumping forward against the wall dividing the main room from the kitchenette. ‘Yes,’ he reluctantly admitted.

‘What the hell happened to you?’ Sam asked, hoping that Castiel wasn’t drunk on demon energies like Dean had been.

‘I found a liquor store.’

‘And?’

‘And I drank it,’ Castiel snapped back in annoyance. ‘Why’d you call me?’

‘We need you to get us a stake made from Babylonian cypress,’ Sam replied. He reached out as Castiel stumbled forward. ‘Whoa. Easy. You gonna be okay?’

Castiel stared Sam before motioning him closer. He leaned in and spoke into sam’s ear. ‘Don’t ask stupid questions.’ He moved back and swayed slightly. ‘Babylonian cypress? As in the Whore of Babylon?’

Sam nodded uncertainly.

‘Who’s gonna kill her? ‘Cuz _I_ can’t,’ Castiel said raising and lowering his arms uselessly. ‘I lost that ability. First, when I helped Dean get to you, then when I chased Zachariah off. Probably even before that… I think I started Falling when I decided to keep Dean’s secret… Seraphiel can’t. Gabriel’s been tainted by pagan sacrifice. And you… Well, _you’re_ an abomination.’

Sam thinned his lips and breathed in slowly. ‘What about a pastor? Gideon’s pretty strong with his faith.’

Castiel tilted his head from side to side, thinking about it. ‘I suppose that could work.’

‘Great. So… You gonna get the stake?’ Sam blinked in surprise as Castiel vanished. ‘You really were made for him, huh?’

.-.-.-.-.

Dean was about to go after Leah, but paused when he heard shouting and the sound of glass breaking. He arrived just in time to see an angry mob tearing up the tavern with Pastor Gideon trying to keep the peace. He recognized Dylan’s mother as one of the more desperate members of the mob.

He ran up to David and lightly touched his shoulder, gaining his attention. ‘What’s going on, Padre?’

David turned to Dean with a helpless expression. ‘Paul… Leah says Paul has to leave since he…’

Dean narrowed his eyes and watched as the fight unfolded. Out of everyone involved, it seemed like Paul was the most level-headed of the bunch. When it looked like Rob and Paul were about to exchange blows, he pulled Rob away. ‘Hey, woah! You don’t wanna do this,’ he said, positioning himself between them.

A shot rang out, and Dean spun to see Jane pointing a gun at where Paul had fallen.

‘No one’s gonna take my son from me!’ she said shakily.

Dean watched numbly as David began ushering people out, the mob’s thirst for blood having been filled. He looked over as David touched his arm, and he shook his head. ‘I’ll uh… I’ll be along in a sec.’

David nodded and left Dean alone in the tavern with Paul’s body.

Dean cast out his senses to ensure that he was alone, then quickly knelt beside Paul. He placed his hand on Paul’s chest and hoped he had enough juice to heal the man. His hand grew warm, and a soft, white light emitted from beneath it. He licked his lips as he pushed more power into in.

On the edge of his senses, he could feel something calling to him, asking to lend its help. He couldn’t feel any darkness from it, so he took a chance. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, accepting the offer.

He grabbed his hand back as Paul spasmed and gasped.

‘Woah. It’s okay,’ Dean said, pushing him back to lean against the bar. ‘They’re gone. You’re safe.’

Paul stared at Dean with wide eyes and looked down at his bloodied chest. ‘I… I was shot! Jane…shot me…’ He broke off in a choked sob.

‘Yeah… Sorry about that. Was hopin’ to stop that from happening,’ Dean said. He could feel the helpful power lapping against him, filling his Grace with love and power. His eyes widened, and he quickly shut off his connection in a panic. He was not in any state to deal with what could potentially be Heaven.

‘They just… _turned_ on me! All ‘cuz some stupid angels told ‘em to!’ Paul frowned at the blood on his hand. He clawed at his shirt, moving it out of the way. His chest was covered in blood, but there were no wounds. No bullet holes. ‘What? How…?’ He looked up at Dean, who was giving him a small grimace.

‘I was more focused on the healing, not clean up,’ Dean said.

‘Healing? You? What _are_ you?’

‘ _That’s_ a loaded question,’ Dean said, laughing nervously. ‘Tell ya’ what. I’ll explain once we get you somewhere safe.’

‘Somewhere…’ Paul blinked as the tavern vanished and he found himself in a motel room. ‘Safe?’

Sam stood from his place on the couch and gave Dean an incredulous glare. ‘Dean? What are you doing?’

‘Panicking,’ Dean replied, giving Paul a gentle shove toward the couch. ‘Where’s Cas?’

‘Went to get the stake.’ Sam moved aside as Paul slumped onto the couch and cradled his head. He looked from Paul to Dean, motioning to the distraught man.

‘Jane shot him,’ Dean quietly replied. ‘He uh… I kinda…’ He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sam’s brows furrowed in confusion. ‘Wait, are you saying… You tapped into Heaven? You did it? It worked?’ Dean nodded jerkily, and Sam let out a relieved laugh. ‘This is great! This is what we were aiming for!’

‘Wasn’t exactly expecting it to _work_ ,’ Dean ground out. ‘Oh, thank God,’ he sighed as he felt Castiel approach.

‘Dean, I need to warn you about Cas,’ Sam said just as Castiel appeared and dropped a large, wooden stake on the coffee table.

Paul jumped and stared up at Castiel. ‘Who are _you_?!’

‘Castiel. An angel,’ Castiel said in annoyance. He narrowed his eyes Paul and tilted his head as he looked over the human. ‘You’ve been brought back. Who…’ He trailed off as he followed the trail of Holy power back to Dean. He turned and stared at Dean. ‘Seraphiel…’

Dean flinched and kept his Grace hidden from Castiel. ‘Don’t really wanna talk about it.’

‘Why do you have to act like this?’ Castiel huffed. He stepped forward and jabbed his finger at Dean’s chest. ‘You’re always hating yourself. You never think you’re worthy of _anything_! You. Are. Worthy! You have walked the road to redemption and have succeeded! Why is it that everyone else sees it but you? I love you, and if I have to shove that love down your throat, _again_ , I will!’

Dean blinked in surprise. ‘What? Wait. Cas, are you…?’ He glanced away from the other angel to Sam.

‘Yeah. He’s…still pretty smashed,’ Sam replied. ‘Apparently, he went on bender.’

‘It is not of import,’ Castiel cut in, waving Sam off. ‘The Whore of Babylon is moving forward with her plan.’

‘Yeah, and what is that, exactly?’ Dean asked.

‘She rises when Lucifer walks the earth’ Castiel replied. ‘“And she shall come, bearing false prophecy.” This creature has the power to take a human’s form. Read minds.’

‘So she knows just how to get to you,’ Sam said. ‘Using Dylan to get Rob and Jane under her thumb.’

‘And she’s controlling the demons and set everyone up with that fake exorcism,’ Dean said.

‘What exorcism?’ Castiel asked.

‘Virg a butmon levithmong,’ Sam replied.

Castiel snorted in amusement. ‘You breed with the mouth of a goat…’ He caught Sam’s unamused expression and looked down sulkily. ‘It’s funnier in Enochian,’ he said defensively.

Dean smirked and nodded. ‘Anyway, the demons smoke out for fun, and… So, what? We already know all this. What’s her endgame? Chaos? There are easier ways to go about _that_.’

Castiel nodded to Paul, who stiffened under the sudden attention. ‘What you just saw. Innocent blood spilled in God’s name.’

‘Innocent blood…? She’s… She’s stealing my gig!’ Dean shouted, flapping his wings out in anger. ‘ _I’m_ the great corruptor! _I’m_ the manipulator! That, that… Oh, this ends now!’ He turned and stopped as Castiel lightly grasped his wrist. He looked at Castiel and sighed, shaking his head.

‘We still need a true servant of Heaven,’ Castiel said.

‘Well, we don’t got one.’ Dean sighed in frustration as Castiel vanished. ‘Great. What was _that_ about?’

‘Think he went to get David,’ Sam replied.

Just as the words left Sam’s mouth, Castiel reappeared with the pastor in tow.

‘What the hell was that?!’ David looked around and his eyes fell on Paul, who was staring back miserably. ‘Paul! Oh, God. You’re _alive_!’

‘Am I? ‘Cuz this place has gone past demon-crazy, to something else altogether,’ Paul replied, his voice wavering.

‘But _how_?’ David gestured to the blood on Paul’s chest. ‘You were shot! I watched you die! Leah insists…’ He turned away, covering his mouth in horror. ‘Leah’s… Something’s wrong with my little girl. Angels condoning _murder_?!’

‘We don’t, actually,’ Castiel said as he slumped against the wall. ‘Not of innocents. _Demons_ , however… That’s what _they_ encourage. Oh, and Seraphiel, of course.’

‘ _Thank you_ , Castiel,’ Dean said tightly. ‘All right, so who wants to give him the bad news and the pep talk?’

.-.-.-.-.

David stared at the wooden stake in his hands, shaking his head. ‘But she’s my daughter…’

‘Not anymore, Padre,’ Dean said quietly. ‘She’s been dead since before the first vision.’

‘Could you… Could you bring her back? L-like with Paul?’

Dean sighed and looked at Castiel. ‘Even if I had the power and access to do that… Would you really wanna drag her away from paradise?’

‘But Paul—’

‘His soul hadn’t left this plane yet.’

David lowered his head, nodding solemnly. ‘It’s just… Why does it have to be _me_?’

‘You’re a servant of Heaven,’ Castiel replied.

‘And _you’re_ an angel,’ David retorted.

‘Poor example of one.’ Castiel glanced at Dean and grimaced. ‘I think _any_ angel on humanity’s side would be a poor example right now.’

‘Ain’t _that_ the truth,’ Dean grumbled.

Paul looked up, shifting his gaze between the men in the room. ‘What about me? What do I need to do?’

Sam patted Paul’s shoulder. ‘I think you should just sit tight for now.’

‘But I wanna help,’ Paul argued. ‘This is my home, and…and I wanna help. Do…something.’

Sam shrugged as he looked at Dean and Castiel. ‘Dead man walking. It’d be a good distraction.’

‘Or be played up that he’s a demon,’ Dean pointed out. He sighed as he shook his head. ‘No, I think I’ll be distraction enough for this.’

.-.-.-.-.

When they arrived at the church, the small group casually made their way inside. Jane and Rob passed by, dragging a struggling woman. David forced himself to look away as Dean squeezed his arm. They followed Jane and Rob and paused just outside the room Leah was in. They listened in as she instructed Jane and Rob to place the woman with the rest of the sinners.

Dean quickly scanned the small room where the woman had been stashed. ‘Shit. That storage room’s _full_ of people,’ Dean hissed. ‘Kids, too.’

‘What?!’ David moved to run in, but Dean held him back and dragged him up the hall a few feet.

‘Go around and take the other door. Get behind her,’ Dean said. ‘I got the front.’ He took a deep breath and moved to stand in the doorway. He let his power drift towards Leah, pushing forward his darker aspects. ‘Looks like someone’s having a party, and _I_ wasn’t invited!’ he pouted as he leaned against the doorframe. He slowly unfurled his wings and gave a lopsided smirk.

Leah looked past Rob and Jane to Dean. ‘De— Seraphiel!’ she gasped. She grinned, seeing this as another opening to get the others to follow her orders—threatening one’s child could only garner her so much loyalty, and Rob’s was wearing thin with suspicion. She held her arm out, gesturing to Dean. ‘Behold! The angel, Seraphiel! Made flesh through Dean Winchester, servant of Heaven!’

Dean managed to keep his smirk in place, ignoring the wicked tone in which Leah spoke. He inclined his head and spread his wings wide as he stepped fully into the room. He set the lights flickering, casting out shadows of his wings. ‘That’s me,’ he drawled. ‘Seraphiel. _Fallen_ angel. Oh, this vessel mighta been servant of Heaven material, but _I_ sure as fuck ain’t. Isn’t that right, _Whore of Babylon_?’

Leah’s smile faltered as the townspeople looked to her, and she could feel the betrayal set in. It was too late. She lost them. ‘W-why are you…? We’re on the same side!’ she shouted. ‘We both serve Lucifer! This is _our_ time!’

‘ _Our_ time?’ Dean scoffed. ‘Last I checked, _I_ didn’t enter into this apocalypse. I’m not just another game piece. _I’m_ the wild card.’

‘Exactly! You’re what’s gonna tip this in our favor!’ Leah said excitedly. ‘I’m a fan of your work. The Crusades? Two hundred years of innocent blood spilled in God’s name! Corruption the likes of which have never been seen since! The Inquisition? The Black Death? And here you are, possessing Dean Winchester! _And_ you managed to fool _me_! It’s perfect! It’s…it’s like all the stories about you, but even _better_! Oh, the things we could accomplish together!’

Dean laughed as he shifted his weight and crossed his arms. Out of the corner of this eye, he saw David slip into the room and draw close to Leah. ‘What? You’re suggesting we burn this town and take this show on the road?’

‘And why n—’ She saw a shadow on the ground beside her and turned, flinging out an arm and sending David flying across the room. Her eyes fell upon the stake and followed it as it flew into Dean’s hand. She narrowed her eyes. ‘As if that’s gonna work,’ she growled. ‘ _You’re_ no servant of Heaven.’

‘Yeah? Well, _you’re_ not much of a demon,’ Dean snapped as he drove the stake into Leah’s chest. He threw open his connection with Heaven and pulled up every thought and will for protecting humanity from Leah and her corruption into guiding Heaven’s power into the stake.

Leah shrieked as her being burned away, leaving a smoldering pile of ash where she once stood.

Dean scrambled back in shock, folding his wings tightly around himself. ‘No way that shoulda worked,’ he whispered. He had been aiming to hurt her as much as possible. Maybe cripple her long enough for _David_ to use the stake. With his wings tight against his body, he could feel that his smallest set had fully regrown, and he began to shake. ‘This isn’t right,’ he whispered horsely.

Sam ran up to Dean’s side and stared down at Leah’s smoking remains. ‘How did you…? I thought you said you couldn’t kill her!’

Dean shook his head and took a few more steps back, backing into Castiel. He shuddered as he felt Castiel’s Grace and wings envelope him. ‘I-I don’t know,’ he insisted. ‘I…I just wanted to stop her! To keep everyone safe!’

‘To protect God’s creations,’ Castiel said softly.

Dean nodded, looking around at the people staring at him in shock. Even though he could feel their fear of him, there was a growing hint of gratitude. ‘Yeah…’ He rubbed at his neck and closed his connection with Heaven. He shook his head as he felt Castiel’s Grace prod him reprimandingly. ‘Not now, please,’ he quietly begged. ‘Let’s just… Let’s just check on everyone. Make sure they’re okay.’

.-.-.-.-.

Out of everyone that needed consoling about following Leah’s commandments, Jane was the toughest. In other circumstances, Dean would have coldly told her she was going straight to Hell for her mistake, but now he couldn’t. He left her with a small bit of hope: if _he_ could redeem himself, then she, too, had a chance.

Dean leaned on the roof of the Impala, giving Castiel a curious look. ‘Feeling better?’ he asked. When Castiel nodded, he reached out with his Grace and lightly stroked Castiel’s. ‘So you gonna tell me why you went on a bender? That’s some hard drinking to get as far gone as you were.’

Castiel sighed and returned Dean’s loving strokes. ‘I spoke with Michael. He doesn’t know about you nor Lucifer’s involvement.’

Dean licked his lips as he nodded, pulling his wings in tight. He had to rearrange them a few times to find a comfortable position, which helped distract him from his nervousness. ‘Doesn’t mean he won’t find out,’ he said. ‘One way or another, they’re gonna know, and…’

‘And we’ll be ready for them,’ Castiel promised. He looked away and let his Grace trail bits of his stress and insecurities from his meeting with Michael. ‘He told me why I haven’t been locked away like Anna. They… They need someone to keep an eye on you and your brother. To keep you safe. And since I’m the only angel that you trust…’

‘Right. And if it boiled down to it, you’d run to them for help if you got in over your head.’ Dean carefully wrapped his Grace around Castiel, trying to reassure the other angel.

‘I’m just… I’m a tool. A simple object with only one use. To keep you safe until Michael needs you.’

Dean scoffed as he sent tiny bursts of love through their connection. ‘Michael’s angry, and he’s lashing out,’ he said. ‘If Dad’s _really_ missing, then… Look, I know what it’s like to have a deadbeat dad.’

Castiel looked back at Dean, frowning. He could feel that Dean spoke not only of God, but of John as well. Twice, he’d been rejected and ignored. Twice, he had to recover.

‘I’ve just had more time to deal with it,’ Dean finished with a shrug.

‘How _do_ you deal with it?’

‘On a good day? You get to kill a Whore,’ Dean replied with a laugh. ‘On a good night…you might get to bang a smokin’ angel.’

‘Jehoel?’

Dean choked on his laughter. ‘Hah! No… Uh, I mean like… Hot. Er, good looking. Attractive.’

Castiel moved around the car to stand in front of Dean. He closed the distance between them and lightly kissed Dean. ‘Then let me say that I look forward to uh…banging a smoking angel later.’

‘I meant—’

Castiel cut off Dean’s thoughts of worthlessness with a sharp jab to his claim on the other angel. ‘Don’t argue with me.’

 


	41. Chapter 41

Dean stared at the blade Gabriel held out to him. He looked around the room to see Sam and Castiel’s reassuring smiles.

‘Well?’ Gabriel prompted. ‘Take it. You’ve earned it.’

Dean met Gabriel’s eyes and nervously licked his lips. He could feel it calling to him, singing for him to take it. He wanted to, but he didn’t think he was quite ready yet. ‘Look, I’m still reelin’ from earlier…’

‘And this’ll help,’ Gabriel insisted as he grabbed Dean’s hand and placed the blade in his hand. He closed Dean’s fingers around the blade’s handle. He wrapped his hands around Dean’s hand and smiled as the pale feathers of Dean’s wings shone just a bit brighter. ‘See? Better already.’

Dean shuddered and forced a nod. ‘I guess. But I don’t like it. I can feel it. Right there. Just askin’ me to tap in.’

‘Yeah. So do it!’ Gabriel said with a laugh. ‘Until someone shuts the backdoor, I say use every edge we got!’

Dean nervously licked his lips and tightened his grip on the blade. ‘I…I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.’

‘Whaddya mean?’ Gabriel asked as he let go of Dean’s hand.

‘There’s no way to close it,’ Dean quietly replied. ‘Not that I can feel.’

Gabriel stared at Dean in alarm and looked to Castiel. ‘Cas?’

Castiel slowly shook his head. ‘I’m still connected the way we’re  _ supposed _ to be, but I’m limited. Heaven’s keeping an eye on me. I don’t know how you two are connecting with Heaven. This…backdoor seems useful, but  _ I _ can’t risk it.’

‘It’s wide open,’ Dean continued. ‘Like…I can feel it used to be just a crack, but someone just threw it open. And recently, too.’

‘Do you think…Dad?’ Gabriel whispered in disbelief. His Grace clung to Dean and Castiel in hope. ‘You think he’s back? Y’ think he’s gonna fix everything?’

‘I don’t know!’ Dean said in frustration. ‘For all I know, it was  _ me _ ! I was kinda desperate at the time, and I didn’t exactly reach for it subtly. I full on grabbed with everything I had! Fuck. I’m surprised no one felt it!’

‘Well, how can you tell?’

Dean gave Gabriel an incredulous glare. ‘ _ Really _ ? You’re asking  _ me _ how I know? Yeah, it’s been a while, but I can tell what the flow of Heaven’s power is doing.’

Gabriel threw his arms up and stepped away from Dean. ‘Fine! So the great Seraphiel says all of Heaven’s doors are wide open.’ He paused as he evaluated his own power. ‘Huh. Maybe I  _ won’t _ need help with Pestilence.’

‘You’re welcome,’ Dean snarked. ‘So, you found him?’ he asked, grateful for the change in topic.

Gabriel drew a disgusted face and shuddered. ‘I’ll say. I don’t care if I  _ am _ an angel, I’m gonna need a hazmat suit for this. And then I’ll have to burn all my clothes. Maybe a little immolation while I’m at it. Ugh. I feel dirty just _ thinking _ about him.’

‘And how’s Lucifer feel about you going after one of the Horsemen?’ Dean asked.

Gabriel shrugged. ‘Well, he knows we’re after them to keep people safe, but he doesn’t know we’re after the rings.’

‘He’s gotta have some sorta clue,’ Sam piped in.

‘Hasn’t really come up in conversation,’ Gabriel said uncomfortably. ‘And I don’t wanna say anything just in case it…sparks something.’

‘In any case, I don’t want you going after Pestilence all by your lonesome,’ Dean said.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and waved Dean off. ‘I can handle it! I’m a big boy.’

Dean raised his wings and crossed his arms, letting his power slowly drift over Gabriel. ‘I don’t like it,’ he said slowly as he narrowed his eyes.

Gabriel backed away. He flinched when he realized that he had submissively tucked his wings about himself. ‘You win this round, but only ‘cuz I wasn’t expecting it,’ he said petulantly, raising his chin in defiance and puffing his wings up. He could feel Dean’s amusement roll over him, and reflexively puffed up more.

‘As long as you’re not going alone, I don’t care what you tell everyone.’

‘I’ll go,’ Sam offered. He offered a smile when Dean turned to look at him.

‘Was thinking more along the lines of Cas or myself…’

Sam dropped his smile. ‘I’m going. You guys are both up to speed, so I’m probably just going as an observer. Besides,  _ you’re _ barely keeping it together right now. How about you and Cas find a way to distract you? Get your mind off things for a while.’

‘What, like a hunt?’

‘I  _ was _ suggesting you sleep with your angel boyfriend, but whatever keeps you occupied,’ Sam replied with a smirk.

Gabriel grinned and slapped Sam on the back, both of them disappearing with the action.

.-.-.-.-.

It was early evening, and Castiel and Dean were seated on the couch. Castiel lightly stroked Dean’s hair as his Grace gently lapped against Dean’s.

‘You think they need help?’ Dean said suddenly.

Castiel shook his head and held Dean’s Grace a little tighter. ‘They’ll be fine. Gabriel is at full strength. He’ll keep Sam safe,’ he replied.

Dean sighed and leaned back to stare at the ceiling. Sam was right—he really did need a distraction. He could feel Heaven’s power coursing through him. It had been so long—too long. Now, more than ever, he didn’t want to lose it again. He could feel the gentle flow of prayers (some desperate, some passive) and the response of angels, tipping situations in answer.

And beneath it all, he could feel something else. Something achingly familiar, but still just out of reach. Something else was keeping an eye on the flow.

‘You think it’s God,’ Castiel said, breaking into Dean’s thoughts.

‘I’m not sure,’ Dean admitted. ‘You’d think someone else woulda sensed it by now, but everyone’s runnin’ around like chickens with their heads cut off. A couple of ‘em  _ oughtta _ have their heads cut off,’ he added bitterly.

‘I don’t know if anyone  _ would _ be able to sense it. Heaven has changed drastically from what you remember. Even from just after your banishment. There is no First Sphere. There are only tales of the Seraphim and their voices. Some stories claim they were locked up for their connection to Seraphiel, and others say they all died in the rebellion. Others still, claim they left Heaven to follow Seraphiel and now act as his minions on Earth.’

Dean laughed out loud at the absurdity. ‘Them?  _ They _ actually had the right idea. I asked them to join, and they went on strike. Locked themselves in the throne room.’

‘So there is  _ some _ truth to the rumors. No matter the truth, they’re still out of reach.’

‘No use in worrying about it,’ Dean mumbled before shifting to straddle Castiel’s lap. He grinned as he let his Grace course through Castiel. ‘One good thing about being up to speed…’

Castiel shuddered and gripped Dean’s hips. ‘Seraphiel…’

Dean grunted in annoyance then paused. He scanned over Castiel’s Grace and body and pulled back when he didn’t feel a soul tucked away in the corner.

‘Like yours, this is just an empty vessel, now,’ Castiel explained. ‘I’m uncertain how I’m able to retain it.’ He looked away, shame creeping through his thoughts.

Dean laughed and was quick to reassure Castiel with happy, loving bursts through their connected Graces. ‘You’re still pure, Cas. You’re not tainted. Not like me. It’s a loophole,’ he tried to explained. ‘Whoever or whatever brought you back, brought back the body, too. Body’s easy. You? Notsomuch.’

‘But if it were rebuilt…’

‘Soul had it first, said you could take a ride. Last one in the driver’s seat gets the salvage title.’

Castiel stared at Dean as he tried to parse Dean’s analogy. ‘I…see.’

‘No, you don’t,’ Dean said with a soft laugh. ‘I mean, look at Anna. That’s an empty vessel, too.’

‘But that’s different. She ripped out her Grace and—’

‘She still has a claim over the body,’ Dean cut in. ‘Trust me on this. I’ve been around the block a few times,’ he said with a wry smile.

Castiel let his frustration drift through his Grace and sighed as Dean leaned back in to kiss him.

‘It’ll be fine,’ Dean promised. ‘Everything’ll work out. Sam and Gabe will get Pestilence’s ring, and we’ll be one step closer to…something.’

Frowning, Castiel slowly shook his head. ‘You don’t believe that.’

‘Maybe not,’ Dean admitted, ‘but I’m tryin’…’

‘I think…you  _ should _ believe,’ Castiel said softly. He reached up and lightly stroked one of Dean’s smaller wings. Dean fell against him, shivering and moaning quietly. ‘Your wings have almost fully returned, and you managed to convince Lucifer to join us. Your methods may be unorthodox, but you  _ are _ getting results.’

Dean snorted into Castiel’s shoulder. ‘Fancy way of saying my screwups work out in the end?’

Castiel shifted Dean from his lap and pressed him down onto the couch. ‘I’m saying that I believe in you, Seraphiel.’

Dean bit his lip as his eyes darted away. ‘You really—’ He broke of with a sharp gasp as Castiel began kissing at his neck. ‘Sh-shouldn’t. Oh, fuck, you learn too quick.’ He ground his hips upward and moaned as he rubbed against Castiel.

A loud thump drew the attention of both angels, and they saw Bobby standing in the doorway, covering his face with his hand.

‘Not on my couch!’ Bobby shouted. ‘If Gabriel has to wear clothes in the kitchen, you two have to find somewhere private!’

Dean wrapped his arms about Castiel and dropped them into what he had begrudgingly come to know as  _ his _ bed. ‘Sorry ‘bout that. Now, where were we?’

He gasped as a mischievous thread pierced his Grace.

One of Castiel’s hands teased at Dean’s freshly grown limbs while the other very lightly traced the skin beneath Dean’s shirt. His Grace flooded Dean with passion and glancing touches of love.

Dean opened his mouth to Castiel’s gentle kisses and uncertainly reached out with his own Grace. He swallowed and stared when Castiel pulled back in confusion. ‘It’s been a while,’ he said in a rough whisper. ‘Don’t wanna disappoint, y’know?’

Castiel laughed softly and flipped them so Dean straddled his thighs. ‘You could never disappoint me,’ he replied. ‘Not…in that respect.’

Dean looked away, catching the memory of his demon-addiction and Castiel’s disapproval. ‘Yeah. Can never say I’m not a screw up.’

‘Not always. In regards to our intimacy, I’ve enjoyed what we’ve done so far,’ Castiel said as he sat up and touched Dean’s cheek. He smiled when Dean looked back at him. ‘So enough of those thoughts. I want to feel you before Gabriel returns and has a mind to embarrass us both.’

Dean grinned and pushed Castiel back down against the bed. ‘Think I can manage that. Anything not great, I’m blaming on being out of practice.’

Castiel spread his wings out and flicked the ends in a teasing fashion. ‘I thought experience came with age?’ He moaned softly as Dean’s Grace pressed into him more fully. ‘Yes… Seraphiel… Dean… More!’

Dean closed his eyes and breathed slowly. Castiel’s Grace eagerly lapped and tugged at him, demanding more. He tugged at Castiel’s clothing and his own as he let his Grace skirt about Castiel’s, teasing and softly poking at his claim over the other.

Castiel kicked off his pants, momentarily wishing he could shed his vessel to properly be with Seraphiel.

‘Later,’ Dean promised, tossing his shirt into the corner. ‘After this shit storm blows over, we can ditch the meatsuits for a few hours.’

Lights flickered as the last bit of clothing was shed. Castiel’s soft gasps filled the air as Dean’s mouth explored every inch of his skin. Dean’s Grace was still very slowly filling his own, still so achingly sweet and gentle. His own pulsed against it, letting his demands for more be heard. He took to pleading vocally when Dean kept up the slow pace.

‘In a minute.’ Dean reached between them and stroked Castiel’s erection. ‘Think I’m gonna ride you. Would you like that?’

Castiel groaned as Dean’s Grace pressed harder and sharper than before. ‘Whatever you want,’ he breathed as he bucked his hips upwards, trying to gain more friction. In an instant, Dean filled him with intense, unfiltered love. No passion, no deviant promises. Just a pure love that was wholly Seraphiel.

Castiel gasped in surprise and clung tightly to Dean, digging his nails into Dean’s shoulders as he shuddered. He dropped back and stared at the sight above him. Three pairs of wings were spread out protectively, shining brightly in the dimness of the room. The holy light and power of Seraphiel filled the room, and Castiel could only stare in wonder at the other angel. ‘I don’t deserve you,’ he whispered.

Dean laughed and shook his head, trying to brush off his discomfort. ‘Think that’s the other way around, but uh…’

Castiel tugged Dean down and kissed him fully as he let his Grace slide against Dean’s. He moaned as his Grace was cradled and explored, soft touches left along Dean’s wake. ‘Don’t dwell on it,’ he reprimanded. ‘We… We are what we are.’

‘And I’m horny,’ Dean growled, rubbing down against Castiel. ‘Thought I already got you off for a second.’

Castiel shook his head and smirked. ‘As wonderful as that was, I think it’ll take a little  _ more _ to push me over the edge.’

‘Cheeky shit. I oughtta spank you.’

‘I’m led to believe that’s more of a reward than a punishment.’

‘Ah…’ Dean quickly scanned Castiel’s memories and found one of Gabriel showing the younger angel a badly acted porno. ‘Remind me to show you some better porn. Better yet, lemme  _ show _ you.’

Dean licked, kissed, and teased his way across Castiel’s body, imitating the movements and caresses with his Grace. Castiel did his best to keep up, having only experienced this level of intimacy while Dean had been at his lowest or unwilling to be truly intimate with their Graces entwined.

Castiel groaned as Dean’s ass finally pressed down onto his cock. Dean’s Grace pulled away for a moment as he was sheathed at an enticingly slow and steady pace. He didn’t have time to think as Dean’s mouth suddenly attacked his neck. His Grace was assaulted in turn with loving taps and pulses that dissipated much too quickly for Castiel to properly enjoy them.

Castiel writhed in pleasure, thrusting up as Dean rocked back and forth. He tried to focus on letting his own Grace pulse and slide against Dean’s, but Dean was proving to be too quick and powerful for Castiel to properly do anything of the sort.

Dean laughed softly before tracing his tongue up the length of Castiel’s bared neck. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he whispered. He settled his Grace over his claim on Castiel and felt Castiel’s feeble attempt to do the same. ‘Feeling you so wrecked like this…’

A soft whimper was his response as Castiel’s Grace clung desperately to him. He gasped as Castiel came, sending shockwaves of power through the room and shattering the window and lightbulbs. He smiled to himself and was reaching down to finish himself off when he doubled over in surprise, Castiel’s Grace piercing through their shared claim and suddenly filling him with as much power as it could muster. Desire and an unquenchable need radiated from Castiel’s Grace, and it pushed Dean right over the edge.

‘Oh, fu-uck… You did that on purpose,’ Dean moaned after his orgasm had passed. He pushed himself up and blinked at the small grin Castiel was giving him.

‘Well, I  _ was _ able to give you my undivided attention,’ Castiel replied. He glanced around the room as Dean moved to lie beside him. ‘I…had not intended to be so destructive.’

Dean lazily waved his hand, and the room looked as if nothing had happened. Not even the layer of dust looked as if it had been disturbed. He looked over as Castiel sat up to look down at him, deep in thought. ‘What?’

‘You seem…happier now. Lighter. Still worried, but…’

Dean sighed and curled against Castiel, kissing his hip in an imitation of his Grace. ‘I can tap into Heaven again. Great. Awesome. I can feel everything, and…I don’t wanna lose it again,’ he said, trailing off in a small voice. He closed his eyes as Castiel’s wings wrapped around him protectively and fingers softly stroked his hair. ‘I don’t know what I’d do if that happened again. If I lost it or…or you…or  _ Sam _ . If something happens him, then… Cas, if the apocalypse doesn’t destroy the world…then  _ I _ will.’

‘No, you won’t,’ Castiel said, hiding the sharp pang of anxiety he felt at the honesty in Dean’s words. The kinship Dean felt for Sam ran much deeper than anything he felt for any of his angelic siblings. Through Dean, Castiel could feel the difference between human relationships and angelic. It was so much more intense and complex. The feelings of love, hate, loyalty, betrayal… With Dean so open and vulnerable, Castiel gently poked around Dean’s Grace, searching for answers. He followed the thread of Dean’s humanity and frowned to himself. It hadn’t manifested after his time on Earth amongst humans—it had always been there, waiting to be nurtured.

He licked his lips and prodded the thread. ‘Dean…’

‘You’re looking at it wrong. You’re too young to be carbon dating me right,’ was Dean’s muffled reply.

Castiel let it go and went back to carding his fingers through Dean’s hair. If there was one thing he had learned about humans, it was that even though they were fragile, they were more resilient than any angel he had met. They were meant to survive. Dean— _ Seraphiel _ —was meant to survive. ‘You’re stronger than you know. You  _ know  _ you are.’

Dean shook his head as he curled more tightly about Castiel, tucking his wings beneath Castiel’s.


	42. Chapter 42

Sam’s face twisted in disgust as he used a tissue to pick up Pestilence’s ring from where it had landed on the floor. ‘Do you think this thing’s contagious?’ He looked over to see Gabriel holding out his hand expectantly. He dropped the ring onto the open palm and watched as Gabriel waved his other hand over it.

‘Not anymore,’ Gabriel replied, pocketing the ring.

‘Uh… I’d feel better if  _ I _ hung on to it,’ Sam said.

Gabriel sighed and fished the ring back out. ‘You guys  _ still _ don’t trust me?’ he grumbled, tossing the ring to Sam.

‘I trust  _ you _ , but I don’t exactly trust Lucifer just yet,’ Sam replied. He offered a smile and was relieved when Gabriel gave him an understanding nod.

‘Then maybe Bobby should watch over the rings. You’ve got me trying to get Luce to lighten up, Seri trying not to have a meltdown, Cas is bein’ watched constantly…and then there’s you,’ Gabriel said. He leaned against a wall and crossed his arms, looking up at Sam. ‘Lucifer’s true vessel. Bobby’s the best choice out of us.’

‘Yeah. I guess so.’ Sam sat back against a table. ‘How are things going anyway? Between you and Lucifer, that is.’

Gabriel dropped his arms and shrugged. ‘Ever had an ex you got back together with after a really bad breakup?’

‘Not really.’

‘It’s…probably like that. Only me ‘n’ Luce broke up eons ago, and we’re both pretty wary of the other. Neither of us are being very open with each other. I can’t blame him, either. I burnt him bad, Sam,’ he explained with a heavy sigh. He stared at his feet as his thoughts drifted to how he was hesitant to look too far into Lucifer’s Grace, afraid of what he might find.

‘Seri’s right. I just dumped him on Lucifer and ran away. I left a kid…’ He broke off, thinning his lips. ‘Well, a… Here, take some innocent, sheltered, naive farm girl, barely a woman, and totally hot to boot, and leave her alone with a questionable guy who just got dumped by his nympho party girl. She’s eager to please and ain’t stayin’ innocent for long. Easy to manipulate, too, ‘cuz she doesn’t know any better.’

Sam stifled a laugh. ‘That’s the worst description I’ve ever heard, and I live with  _ Dean _ .’

‘Hey, human terms leave a lot to be desired,’ Gabriel shot back defensively. He crossed his arms with a huff, looking away. ‘So does my integrity. This…this is all my fault. I left. I ran. If I had just stuck around…talked it out…’

Sam pushed off the table and moved to stand in front of Gabriel. ‘You’re helping  _ now _ . You  _ and _ Dean. Lucifer, too,’ he said, resting his hand on Gabriel’s shoulder.

‘Helping? More like we’re trying to  _ survive _ ,’ Gabriel said bitterly.

‘We can win this thing.’

Gabriel looked up, meeting Sam’s eyes. He deflated under the hope and honesty he saw. ‘You… You better be right. Seri’s barely hanging in there as it is, and I'm right there with him.’

Sam smiled and gave Gabriel’s shoulder a squeeze. ‘And don’t worry—I won’t tell Dean you called him a farm girl.’

Gabriel snorted in laughter, finally giving Sam a real smile. ‘Do you  _ really _ wanna get into the subject of angels and sex with me?’

Sam shrugged. ‘I dunno. Could be interesting.’

‘I could give you a demo,’ Gabriel replied, looking Sam over from head to toe. ‘Wouldn’t even charge.’

‘Never mind,’ Sam said, rolling his eyes as he turned away.

‘Why don't you just ask Seri?’

Sam raised a brow, giving Gabriel a hard look. ‘You think I haven’t? He was vague at best with a lot of hand gestures that meant nothing. The most I learned was that he has a fiery mane that burns brighter when he’s horny.’

Gabriel raised a shoulder in a half-shrug. He had a feeling  _ his _ answers would be no better than Dean’s. ‘Fine, I’ll try. What do you wanna know?’

‘You're…siblings of some sort? And you still get involved?’ Sam asked, hoping he wasn't overstepping any lines.

‘Siblings in that we have the same Creator. Angels are made from scratch. Like buildings. We don't share blood or anything like that,’ Gabriel replied. ‘We don't even  _ have _ blood.’

Sam frowned at the explanation. It wasn't  _ much _ better than what Dean had told him, but it made more sense than ‘different makes and models of Chevys’. ‘Okay, and the farm girl bit? You guys keep talking about him being smaller… Is that like some feminine form? Do you take vessels that are more in line with your true form?’

‘Uh… First off, it was the closest stereotype I could come up with. Innocent rural girl goes to the big city and meets Mr. Bad Boy. Could easily be farm boy and biker chick with me as the slutty boyfriend or girlfriend who bends over backward to cater to her. Besides that, we're…neither. And both. And then some. And a little less.’

‘Everything and nothing?’ Sam said with a dry smile.

‘Exactly! For the most part, we just refer to ourselves as whatever vessel we first took. Or whatever humans decided to call us, so a lot of “he’s” running around,’ Gabriel tried to explain. ‘I think Seri’s got an even spread going, but he  _ does _ like being tall. So thanks for being bigger than him. Reminds him he’s just a tiny, little ball of teeth. Think super hot, super short gymnast. And feisty. Shit. I shoulda stayed and had a threesome with him and Luce.’

Sam gave him a look that spoke volumes of how he felt about Gabriel's line of thinking being vocalized.

‘ _ I'm _ not the mook who asked,’ Gabriel said with a hearty laugh. He shrugged at Sam as the other shook his head.

‘Right. My fault for not remembering who I’m talking to,’ Sam said with a smirk. ‘Guess we should head back and start tracking down Famine and Death.’

Gabriel nodded and moved to touch Sam’s shoulder before stopping short and pulling back. ‘Oh, hey. Never got to ask, and since big brother isn't watching… How are you taking that whole “Lucifer's true vessel” thing?’

Sam blinked in surprise and took a slow breath, running his hand over his mouth. ‘Right now? Okay. Before? Let's just say I'm glad that's a load off my back.’

‘He's not bad. Just…misguided. Like Ser—Dean,’ Gabriel said slowly, correcting himself at the end. He wanted to make sure that Sam understood and would be more sympathetic to Lucifer. ‘Like  _ all _ of us, when you come right down to it. Angels ain't so great in the long run… Free will is a tricky thing for us, and we don’t have…well,  _ humanity _ . A conscience. We have to  _ learn _ that shit. Orders are easy.’

‘So I'm learning,’ Sam said. ‘But what about Dean?  _ He’s _ different. Is that because he’s played human for so long? Or something else?’

‘Thinking you already have an idea about that… Seraphiel can put up a fake soul like no one else,’ Gabriel confided. ‘There’s… That’s more than just hanging around humans. It’s why _ I _ construct a false Trickster aura instead of bothering to play human.’

He sucked on his lower lip as Sam nodded. ‘Since we’re on the subject… Would you say “yes” to Lucifer for five minutes?’

‘What?  _ Why? _ ’

‘Just curious. Forget I said anything,’ Gabriel said dismissively.

Sam watched Gabriel, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. ‘Why?’

Gabriel grinned shamelessly. ‘Really. It’s nothing. It was just a thought, and if you tell Seri, I’ll deny everything and hide the body. Besides, it’s not like demons where you have to watch everything. You get to take a nap. Just be, uh…vaguely aware that you’re hosting an angel.  _ And _ I’d buy you coffee first.’

‘ _ What?! _ ’

.-.-.-.-.

Bobby jumped as Sam and Gabriel appeared before him in his study. ‘Shit! Dammit all! If you featherbrains  _ insist _ on treating my home like a damned airport, you can use the porch as your runway!’

Gabriel stepped forward, ignoring Sam’s anguished stare. ‘Hey! Bobby! Good news, we got the ring,’ he said. ‘And  _ you _ get to be in charge of them now.’ He waved for Sam to hand the ring to Bobby. He looked over his shoulder when Sam made no move to comply. He grimaced and tried to give an apologetic smile. ‘It was just a suggestion. After this is all done.’

Sam shook his head as he pulled the ring from his pocket and wordlessly handed it to Bobby. He turned to leave the room, pausing only to throw Gabriel a glare. ‘No,’ he said flatly.

Bobby watched the exchange in confusion. ‘What happened?’

Gabriel waved Bobby off with a cocky laugh. ‘He wanted to know more about the glorious sex lives of angels,’ he half-lied. ‘I offered to help him figure it out.’

‘You  _ propositioned _ him?!’

Gabriel’s carefree smile stayed in place as he weighed his options. Better to let the old man think he was a pervert (which was already the case) than think he was trying to coerce Sam into saying ‘yes’ to Lucifer. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. ‘Have you  _ looked _ at him? I’d tap that in a second.’

Bobby rolled his eyes and made a disgusted grunt as he left the room.

Sighing in relief, Gabriel briefly reached out to Dean and Castiel.

‘ _ Sleeping, _ ’ Dean replied.

Gabriel felt the annoyance wafting from Dean, but it wasn’t directed at him. ‘ _ You okay up there? _ ’

‘ _ Cas is out of it _ ,’ Dean grumbled in reply. ‘ _ I got a little overexcited during round two. _ ’

‘ _ Not sleeping. Resting, _ ’ Castiel tersely corrected.

Gabriel barked in laughter. ‘ _Oh, shit! You…you wore him out?!_ _I can’t believe it! Lucy was right! You_ ** _are_** _a hard one to keep up with_.’

‘ _ I  _ **_can_ ** _ hear you, _ ’ Castiel added.

Gabriel could feel Dean’s embarrassment and smiled to himself as he sent gentle waves of teasing laughter across their Graces. He was roughly brushed off and given a pinch-like jab just before Dean’s Grace broke free, followed by Castiel.

He nodded to himself, figuring that he managed to nab himself at least ten minutes without someone checking on him. He vanished and reappeared in a worn down living room overlooking a back alley. He dropped onto a threadbare couch and grinned as Lucifer entered the room. ‘Don’t happen to know where Famine is, do you?’ he asked.

‘I thought the three of you were competent enough to locate the Horsemen on your own,’ Lucifer replied in amusement.

‘Normally, but… This crap  _ is _ a little above my head,’ Gabriel said. He rolled his eyes and chose to ignore the raised brow Lucifer sent him. ‘Anything on Famine or Death would be helpful,’ he added.

‘I think I’ll remain silent on the matter. At least for a week. If you haven’t found anything by then,  _ then  _ I’ll give you a hint. Famine isn’t being as subtle as I had suggested,’ Lucifer said as he joined Gabriel on the couch.

‘Fine… Research time. You’re doing this to punish me, aren’t you?’

‘Better late than never. I believe that’s the appropriate saying.’

Gabriel leaned back and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. ‘How’s about a date tomorrow night? Dinner and a movie? A little…er…something-something after?’

‘I don’t think that’s wise. I don’t exactly blend in,’ Lucifer said, gesturing to himself.

‘We can order some pizza and watch a DVD.’ Gabriel licked his lips and almost reached out to Dean over the airways for a second opinion. Should he run the risk of telling Lucifer Heaven’s backdoor was wide open? He looked over and frowned as Lucifer pulled out a phone and appeared to be texting someone. ‘ _ There’s  _ something you don’t see every day.’

‘A contact of mine,’ Lucifer replied. ‘I wanted to check on something.’

Gabriel hid his unease as Lucifer hid the screen from his view.

.-.-.-.-.

Laughing softly, Dean wrapped his arms and wings tighter about Castiel. He stroked his hand lightly down Castiel’s back and wings, basking in the lazy comfort of Castiel’s Grace softly pulsing against him.

His phone rang, and he stretched out his arm to grab it from where it rested on the nightstand. He sighed upon seeing Meg’s name scroll across the screen. ‘Meg.’

‘Hey, uh… Lucifer says he knows why you’re after the Horsemen,’ Meg said quietly. ‘And he doesn’t appreciate nosy angels going to him for help finding them.’

Alarm shot through Dean, causing Castiel to sit up. He tried to brush off Castiel’s curious probing as he addressed Meg. ‘Did he say anything else?’

‘He wants to know why you didn’t say anything to him. Don’t think he’s too happy about it.’

Dean winced as he sat up. ‘You can tell him it’s insurance,’ he replied. He took a moment to figure out his wording before saying more. ‘And not…not just because of him. He’s not the only threat in this apocalypse.’

He frowned as he heard Meg’s muffled voice complaining. ‘What are you doing, Meg?’ he asked in a warning tone. ‘Didn’t think you  _ wanted _ to give me an excuse to end your sorry life.’

‘I know how to work around a contract, thank you,’ she easily replied. ‘I can text and talk at the same time. Lucifer, however… Just! Two fucking seconds! My turn, your turn…’

Dean snorted as he rolled his eyes. ‘The devil and technology. If you weren’t a demon, I’d feel sorry for you. So what’s he want?’

‘Reassurance. He, uh… He loves you, but he doesn’t trust you. Said that after looking into your Grace…he  _ can’t _ trust you.’

Irritation flared in Dean, and he bit back a growl. ‘Well, he can get in line!’ he snapped before ending the call. He slumped back against the headboard and sighed as Castiel lightly stroked his Grace.

‘ _ I _ trust you,’ Castiel whispered, pulling a bitter laugh from Dean.

‘You’re probably the only one.’

‘Sam trusts you. Your friends trust you.’

Dean shook his head as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, tucking his wings away. ‘Yeah. They trust me to make bad decisions,’ he mumbled. He tried to shrug off Castiel’s hand when it touched his shoulder. He hung his head as Castiel’s arms and wings wound around him, pulling him into a loose hug.

‘We all make mistakes, Dean.’

‘Some more than others. Ow!’ Dean focused his energies on the sharp sting Castiel had sent through his Grace. He winced as another short burst was aimed directly at Castiel's claim. ‘Okay, fine, so you guys trust me as far as you can throw me.’

‘That would be an accurate assessment,’ Castiel admitted with a smirk. ‘Considering how small you are.’

Dean bristled as he tried to bat Castiel’s hands away from his waist. ‘Why is everyone so obsessed with my size?’

Castiel pressed a soft kiss to the side of Dean’s neck. ‘Only Gabriel. Possibly because of the difference between your vessels. I find it amusing.’

Dean turned his head and caught Castiel’s lips. ‘Well, as long as  _ you’re _ happy,’ he said. ‘I guess we should start looking for the other Horsemen. Get a few other jobs taken care of, too.’ He broke off with a heavy sigh. ‘Who knew the apocalypse would be so busy?’

‘Why wouldn’t it be? It takes a lot of effort to destroy the world, and the chaos brings out more creatures and pagan gods who either thrive in this environment or wish to avoid it. You’re not the only one who would like to see this apocalypse averted,’ Castiel said as he rested his chin on Dean’s shoulder.

‘Yeah, Gabe said something about that… Some of his old friends getting together to make a deal with Lucifer.’ Dean huffed a small laugh, shaking his head. ‘Wouldn’t mind crossin’ paths with a couple of them again—now that I’m back up to speed.’

Castiel sighed as he sent a disapproving ripple along his Grace.

‘I’d only mess with them for a few minutes,’ Dean promised. ‘And then hand them over to Lucifer,’ he added after a pause.

‘That would be crueler than  _ your _ intentions.’

‘Would still be funny. They think he hates  _ humans _ ? He’s got bigger issues with false gods created by humans. Why do they think he rebelled? Only because humans are ungrateful and favored by Dad?’ He laughed derisively and leaned back against Castiel. ‘Yeah, that’s what it boils down to, but they brushed off their Creator and  _ replaced _ Him! That’s an even bigger “fuck you” than  _ I _ ever managed.’

‘You…still disapprove,’ Castiel carefully said.

‘I thought it wasn’t the best way of going about it, but I still rebelled. How else do you think Lucifer got so many to join him? Didn’t take much convincing,’ Dean explained, letting his regret flow between them. ‘Started off selling it as “let’s show the non-believers the true power of Heaven and its glory” and quickly devolved into glorified pest control. Instead of just wanting to go after the few bad apples and pagans, it turned into getting rid of  _ all _ humans just because of the potential to turn bad. By that time, there was no turning back, and it had snowballed outta control. Everyone wanted blood, and it didn’t matter whose.’

Castiel followed the surfacing memories. He got flashes Seraphiel’s involvement with convincing others to join the cause—shifting from belief in what he spoke to horror that it would take so little to turn his fellow angels on the humans and God. He saw the first tentative strike against another angel, followed by the easy flow and joy of ripping into another. The echoing glee of slaughtering a brother who had once made a snide remark.

He tried to delve further, looking for the spark that had set everything off. He was surprised when Dean willingly gave up the memory, and he saw Lucifer’s pain over being left by Gabriel. Pain that had twisted into resentment and anger. Instead of focusing his rage on Gabriel, Lucifer had turned it toward the humans. What were once small annoyances became unforgivable grievances, and a will to teach a lesson turned to righteous wrath. And through it all, Seraphiel remained by Lucifer’s side.

‘Gabriel is to blame?’ Castiel eventually asked.

Dean shrugged and made a noncommittal sound. He may have blamed Gabriel for all that happened in the beginning, but he had long gotten over it and forgiven his brother. He couldn’t blame another for his own action and inaction.

‘Luce wasn’t the only one who had a beef with humans. If  _ he _ hadn’t started the rebellion, then someone else would have. Might not’ve gotten as far, but… Something still would have happened,’ he said wearily. ‘Lucifer might have joined. Mighta convinced Gabe to join, too. Who knows? But…Lucifer is responsible for Lucifer, and I’m responsible me.’

‘Oh?’ Castiel said with some amusement.

‘Okay, so I don’t believe that,’ Dean relented. ‘I should, and it gets hammered into me enough, but I don’t. That war was a team effort, and I played my part as much as anyone else. Gabe mighta been a catalyst, but I—’

‘Are forgiven,’ Castiel said, forcefully cutting Dean off.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Castiel’s arms still wrapped around Dean and his head resting on Dean’s shoulder.

‘I’m still not handling this thing with Lucifer well,’ Dean said eventually. He sighed as he stared at his phone then called Meg.

A few rings, and she answered. ‘Yes?’ she said, her voice giving off an air of forced nonchalance.

‘Tell Lucifer I didn’t mean it,’ Dean replied.

‘Oh…kay?’

‘Just do it,’ he said.

‘There. Done,’ she testily replied. ‘Lucky you. He sent back a smiley.’

‘He… Well, that’s good. I guess. Thank you?’

‘I hope you guys remember this when shit goes down,’ Meg said. ‘Never thought I’d be playing messenger for angels.’

‘Not just angels,  _ fallen _ angels.’

‘That doesn’t make it better.’

‘You’re still alive, aren’t you?’

Sighing heavily, she bid her farewell and hung up.

‘That went well,’ Castiel said with a reassuring stroke against Dean’s Grace.

Dean nodded and set his phone on the nightstand. Just as his hand left, it chimed with a received text. He huffed and picked it back up, staring at the screen incredulously. ‘Gabriel says Lucifer’s texting someone, and he doesn’t know what to do about it,’ he said, shifting his stare to Castiel.

Castiel read the message and the one that popped up next. ‘What is “sexting”?’


End file.
